Ten songs celebrating the best way to get rid of your loose change on a Saturday night.
Special mention to Jukebox The Ghost... and Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox (check out their cover of All About That Bass... so much nicer than the original.)
Knocks The Rubettes - Jukebox Jive out of the Top Ten, largely because of the trumpet of Harry James... and the fact that my dad is a huge Glenn Miller fan.
There were plenty of country songs to choose from this week, but this one wins because it has the best title... and also kind of retells the story of our Number One song, with a less successful outcome.
You can call me stubborn You can call me a snob You can even call me downright mean... But I’ve got the finest record collection That you’ve ever seen
If you prefer your country a little more old style yee-haw, can I point you towards the splendidly monikered Dick Curless and his dynamic duo: Jukebox Man and Drop Some Silver In The Jukebox.
Bob Stanley's evocative lyrics + Sarah Cracknell's breathy vocals = pure bliss.
I was just 15 In November '82 When I would meet you after school And there was bonfires on Halloween Frosty little windows All the songs we used to listen to each time...
Paul Heaton's doing pretty well around these parts lately, hardly a week goes by that he doesn't crop up in one form or another. Here he is railing against both bigots and the establishment (and the bigoted establishment) and proposing some interesting trade agreements via his hidden jukebox...
I don't claim to be the world's biggest RATM fan, but here they nick an old Allen Ginsberg poem and do amazing things with it. If you're gonna call yourself Rage Against The Machine, you need to live up to that name!
Could be the best thing Somerset's Mick Jones and New York's Lou Gramm ever did together. Though they're far more well known for wanting to know what love is, this one rocks the jukebox just like it should. Used to great effect in the musical / movie Rock of Ages too...
One for John Peel fans, evoking memories of a holiday romance through snapshot lyrics. The least rock 'n' roll record on this list, but it works beautifully.
A lighthouse sending its light Out across Thurso bay at night To Blakeney Point and back again Walking in the ruins Of Binham Priory Abba on the jukebox at Par Sands A two way trip on the Bodinnick ferry
I picked up a pristine copy of Sound Affects (the album this comes from) for just £1 from the local charity shop a couple of weeks back. Bargain - even though I already owned most of the songs on various compilations. Weller's "pretty green" is outdated now as pound notes are no longer in existence... but even when they were, he wouldn't have been able to put them in his jukebox and play all the records in the hit parade, since jukeboxes only take coins. Or am I taking that a bit too literally?
1. Joan Jett - I Love Rock 'n' Roll
If you don't believe this should be Number One, I suggest you watch the video and then reassess your rear ass from your elbow. Not only does red-leather clad Joan know she's met her teenage heartthrob (cradle snatcher!) just because of the song he picks, she also manages to reference that other popular term for a jukebox - a "record machine". Hell, it rhymes with more things that jukebox, which is why Chuck Berry, Van Halen and even Glenn Miller shoehorned it into to their lyrics too. Maybe I'll do a Top Ten Record Machine Songs some other time so I can play Joan again.
The video manages to be both terrifically wild and incredibly tame (by today's standards), and to paraphrase Kris Kristofferson... if you don't love Joan Jett, then you can kiss my arse...
Which one would you spend your last pound coin to hear again?
Suede have a new album out... and it's much better than the one this comes from. Still, some great putdowns here...
You belong among the wild flowers
picked at the side of the road,
You belong among the silent hours
and broken telephones,
You belong among the TV screens
with sound turned down again,
You belong where there's CCTV
watching you every day,
What do you get when you cross Busted! with Blink 182?
Pinch me, is this real?
I'm on a one way ticket out of Loserville
Now I'm off the social flat line
Things are so good that I'm
Taking down my Star Trek shrine
A sentiment shared by Nick 'Wicksy' Berry on his seminal 80s Number One... but honestly, what do you take me for? There's no place for that here. I have to draw the line somewhere.
And I'll keep finding a way to shoehorn this into Top Tens until you've all bought a copy.
Ernie Shackleton retreated
Close to the Pole
He didn’t want men dying
To achieve his goal
But did he get a gob on?
No he gave a little grin
Heed this Dennis Bell
When you next sign in
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess!
1. Beck - Loser
In the time of chimpanzees, Beck was a monkey. If you don't like it... why don't you kill him?
