Celebrity Jukebox #68: David Crosby

And the requiems keep coming...

David Crosby was, by all accounts, a grumpy old git. But we have no problem with that here at Top Ten Towers. Indeed, we embrace Grumpy Old Gittiness. The best word I could find to describe him online was "ornery", which seems like a fine word to have engraved on your tombstone. Who cares, when you make music as beautiful as this...?

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Almost Cut My Hair

Crosby's refusal to visit the barbers on a regular basis inspired Robyn Hitchcock to pen the following...

You're in funky denim wonderland

You and David Crosby and a bloke with no hand

You've got hair in places

Most people haven't got brains

Robyn Hitchcock - 1974

Frank Zappa's groupie was also fixated with Crosby's hair...

How about David Crosby? 

I mean, he's so... IN, y'know, I...

No, I never...

He's... he just knows, 

I mean, he almost cut his hair, but he didn't, well...

Frank Zappa - The Groupie Routine

Meanwhile, the Dead Milkmen find David a little difficult to swallow...

What do they taste like, some kind a' treat?

How many hippies can this monster eat?

It ate stills and Nash before they could shout

And then it chewed on David Crosby but it spit him out

All the punks are gonna scream, yippee

'Cause it's the thing that only eats hippies

The Dead Milkmen - The Thing that Only Eats Hippies

Slightly more philosophical, here's the wonderfully named Self Saboteur...

Maybe David Crosby was right

And we've all been here before

Maybe my spirit leaves at night

Through a golden astral door

Self Saboteur - The Interpretation of Dreams

While Jake Burns wants to move to Laurel Canyon to hang out with the great man...

Imagine if David Crosby lived next door

He'd be talking 'bout his future summer tour

Telling stories 'bout the Troubadour

The truth that lies beneath the floor

Jake Burns - California Bound

Time for the usual round-up of obscure titular mentions, courtesy of Discogs...

The Saps - David Crosby

David Grisman and Andy Statman – Crosby, Stills & Nash

Lily & Horn Horse - Crosby, Stills & Nash

Sadly, I couldn't find Eugene Chadbourne's song "Lock David Crosby Up!" anywhere online.

Here's a couple that mention Crosby as the letter C, with those other guys...

Oh Mr. Hendrix, how high he could fly

Loved those golden vocals from CSNY

Don Felder - American Rock n Roll

We got this melody

Bringin' the harmonies like CSNY

To write a tune you know will never die

Let's gather round and sing a song

Gang of Rhythm - Walk Off This Earth

(Very entertaining video for that one.)

Almost last word goes to Nigel Blackwell...

If I was in CSNY, I’d be Stephen Stills

Fair enough, Nigel.

Half Man Half Biscuit - Depressed Beyond Tablets

Today's winner though is a delightful new discovery who will be getting further investigation from me. And that is why I do this feature. Take it away, John Craigie...

I don't know how I'm gonna find ya, babe it's hard for me 

You're always 2, 000 miles from wherever I play

And you want some kids, maybe I want em too

Can we get ourselves a old one, maybe 22

Ain't got no college loans, ain't got no other debts too

He could smoke with me, he could drink with you

He could be my drummer, David Crosby does that

He didn't raise his neither, honey, how 'bout that?

RIP, the C in CSNY.

Guest Post Thursday #5: Top Ten Booze Songs

We have a new guest this week on Guest Post Thursday - our old friend Rigid Digit, and even better... it's his round!


Take it away, RD...

3 months of Lockdown hasn’t actually been as bad as initially feared.

Work continues, buying music continues unabated.  And after early difficulties, shopping, beer and spirits, and a selection of snacks (including Frazzles, Pork Scratchings, and Ritz Crackers) continue to arrive at my home.

As advised, daily exercise involves a 30 or 60 minute walk around the local area.  12 years I’ve lived here, and I’ve discovered new roads, paths, and houses I never knew existed.

One such walk, on a warm evening, concluded with a walk up the hill towards home and past the local Pub.

It was at that point it hit me – “I could murder a Pint”

Yes, I can imbibe at home – but the sitting in a Pub nursing a Pint of frothing ale is but a dream at this time.

The potential easing of restrictions suggests Pubs and Restaurants may be opening soon, but until that time when I/We can enter the local hostelry again, here are 10 Boozy Based Tracks to keep the Spirits up (do you see what I did there?)

1. Bad Manners – Special Brew

Bad Manners did a sort of Two Tone Ska thing with added Music Hall.  Buster Bloodvessel’s gurning upped the comedy angle, as did frequent appearances on Tiswas.

This track may not be strictly “about” booze, but namechecks Lemmy’s favourite drink (after Jack Daniels), and is one their very best.

2. George Thorogood - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

Like a lot of Blues tracks this one deals with loss of your woman and drowning your sorrows.

First version I knew of this was John Lee Hooker – George’s version just has more danger, and “bar-room” about it. (Is “bar-room” a descriptive term?)

Also covered by the Cast of Glee – shurely shome mishtake …No, it did actually happen

3. Dr Feelgood – Milk & Alcohol

Straight out of Canvey Island, plying no nonsense R&B, and you wouldn’t want to start a fight with any of them.  A supposed autobiographical tale of songwriters Nick Lowe and Gypie Mayo consuming too many Kahlua based drinks at a John Lee Hooker show.

Despite having no original members, Dr Feelgood continue to tour to this day – and a thoroughly great show is guaranteed

4. Jake Burns – Drinking Again

The Irish do like a drink (apparently), and it would take about a month to complete a Pub Crawl in Dublin’s Temple Bar (you may also need a second mortgage).  Those in the North are equally thirsty too.  In my experience they also have some of the most welcoming Pubs I’ve ever been in.

Give Me Rum, give me brandy,

Give me Vodka, give me beer

5. The Who – However Much I Booze

The Who By Numbers isn’t a bad album, just often forgotten in the pantheon of ‘Oo greats.

OK – it’s a patchy album.  After Who’s Next and Quadrophenia they just sound a bit laboured in places.  But the good outweighs the not so good, and is ripe for re-discovery.

This track deals with the darker side, and catalogues Pete Townsend's experiences and reasons for giving up the demon drink.

6. The Doors - Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)

Show me the way

To the next whisky bar

Oh, don't ask why

Oh, don't ask why

There are 9 official albums in The Doors catalogue – I reckon all you need is the debut (from which this track is lifted) and The Best Of The Doors, and you’re pretty much covered.

Also, this track is apparently responsible for Status Quo’s change in style from psychedelic pop to heads down no nonsense mindless boogie

7. Housemartins – Happy Hour

This track is never less than an absolute joy.  Jangling guitars, speedy delivery (all done and dusted in under 2 and a half minutes), and a video featuring mad/uncomfortable dancing, a claymation sequence, and a cameo from Phill Jupitus.

8. Chumbawumba – Tub Thumping

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink

He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink

And somehow this song escaped the BBC censors with the line “pissing the night away” – George Formby’s harmless, but suggestive, “With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock" gets banned, but a song about alcohol abuse containing a naughty word is absolutely fine.

9. Thin Lizzy – Whiskey In The Jar

Fresh over from Ireland, the band need a hit single to repay Decca’s faith.  They deliver a re-working of an old folk song, hit the top 10.  It gets too much for Eric Bell who goes back home, but Phil Lynott gets a taste of Rock & Roll lifestyle and a legend is born.

10. Underworld – Born Slippy

Lager, Lager, Lager …

Thanks, RD... I've long thought of doing a similar Top 10 myself, but was always crushed by the sheer weight of drinking songs available. Good to see my beloved whiskey well-represented, even though I haven't touched a drop in 20 years. (Can it really be that long?)

RD also had quite a few leftovers in his list, so maybe I can persuade him back for a volume 2. Or perhaps you fancy a go at compiling your own drinking Top Ten. As always, the door is open for anyone on Guest Post Thursdays, and as I speak, there's a blank space in the diary next week...