Celebrity Jukebox #85: Tim Curry

I'm not one of those people who cherishes The Rocky Horror Picture Show as a highpoint in movie/musical history. Neither am I one of those people who hates the very mention of its name. I thought it was a pretty good movie, watched it a couple of times, had a laugh or two (I particularly like the bit with Meat Loaf)... but never felt the need to dress up and sing the songs at a revival night.

I don't have the legs for it.

Still, as powerful as that performance may well be, it'd be a shame if it was all we remembered Tim Curry for. He was also the original Pennywise, from the 1990 adaptation of Stephen King's It... not a classic, but better than the recent two part movie series (one good film, one terrible film - and they shouldn't have been split up to past and present like that anyway, it diminished the story). He was the Darkness in Legend and Long John Silver in Muppet Treasure Island. Perhaps not the most illustrious of career paths when you look at his full résumé, but that wicked twinkle of his eye generally improved any movie he showed up in.

Tim also gets a name drop from top Aussie hip hop group The Hilltop Hoods... always worth a spin.

And the thought of him helps Anna B. Savage finish... erm... what she's doing... in the song below...

Anna B. Savage - Chelsea Hotel #3

I was actually quite surprised how many times Tim's name crops up in song...

I am Tim Curry from "It" 

My heart is made out of shit

Shelf Life - Good Son

Went to see a movie

Face wasn't Tim Curry

I think I'm going to pop

I don't think I can stop

Ty Segall & White Fence - Tommy's Place

Living in a haunted home

Would be fine if I lived with a friend

It'd be no worry

If I lived with Tim Curry

But I don't, so this nightmare won't end

Let's Make A Music - Haunted Home

You may argue that some of those are even less illustrious than the lesser movies Tim appeared in... but immortality is immortality.

I've saved the best for last though. Not many of Tim's obits will mention his brief turn as a pop star, releasing three albums in the late 70s / early 80s. Coincidentally, I featured one of his best tracks on last week's Snapshots. But here's his biggest hit (#91 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1979)...

Celebrity Jukebox #84: Dolly Parton

There aren't that many true icons left, and this week we lost another.

Dolly might not mean the same to other people in my generation as she did to me... but they probably didn't grow up listening to Terry Wogan.

Jolene

Islands In The Stream

Here You Come Again

Love Is Like A Butterfly

The Bargain Store

9 To 5

In my head, every one of those was a Top Ten hit, yet in reality only the first two troubled the UK charts (9 To 5 got to #47... can you believe that?). Despite that, Dolly is one of the few artists I've come across to have a separate discography page for Albums and Singles on iffypedia... so I doubt she worried much about her British record sales.

Dolly defined country music glamour.

Dolly had her own bridge and theme park.

Dolly single-handedly cured Covid. (Well, she did a hell of a lot more than most politicians.)

Like Tina Turner before her, I thought Dolly would go on forever.

I can't believe she's gone - and she was only 80.

Here are some songs for Dolly...

Lee Hazlewood - Dolly Parton's Guitar

Yuko - Dolly Parton

Pam Tillis - Dolly 1969

Geowulf - Dolly

Suede - Dolly

Microdisney - Dolly

And a few choice lyrical mentions...

Johnny Cash in black, over on a countryside

Dolly Parton, ha, Loretta Lynn

Don't forget Charley Pride

James Brown - That's Sweet Music

I'm stuck in Spokane in a motel room

Lord, I wish I had a Dolly Parton tape

Tom T. Hall - Spokane Motel Blues

Ladies, ladies

In my kitchen baking cake is Betty Crocker

Ladies, ladies

Dolly Parton's in my pool

And Aunt Jemima's acting cool

Sparks - Ladies

Dolly Parton was queen

Billy Joel the boss

We were uptown, downtown, little bit of Motown

With Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross

Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott - 7 Inch Single

Dolly Parton and Lord Byron

They said patriotism is the last refuge

But now its me

The Fall - Mount Energei

Larry Hagman, Sally Field

And Dolly Parton, me oh my

It's all yours at

Samson and Delilah's beauty shop

Steve Forbert - Samson & Delilah's Beauty Shop

We've been gone for way too long

Can't count all the roads we've been down

Try to keep it between the ditches

Till the Dolly Parton bridge is in the front window

The Red Clay Strays - Stone's Throw

There's a lot more where they came from, but I'm still on holiday.

Finally then, here's Dolly at her very best...

Celebrity Jukebox #83: Bill Oddie

Ben messaged me in the middle of last week to pass on the news of Bill Oddie's departure. "If your blog isn't full of The Funky Gibbon for the whole of the week, then that's disrespectful."

Sadly, Sam and I were in Birmingham for most of last week, so this is the first chance I've had...

But there's much more to Bill than just the Gibbon. Just ask his feathered friends...

Raised By Owls - Bill Oddie Is Our No.1 Fan

That'll have cleaned out your lugholes.

Before the Goodies, Bill was a musician with an eccentric catalogue, including a version of the Yorkshire Anthem sung in the style of Joe Cocker...

Bill Oddie - On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At

A tribute to a beloved crooner-turned-DJ...

Bill Oddie - Jimmy Young

And a song about knitting...

Bill Oddie - Knitting

Apparently he also did a version of the Andy Pandy theme tune in the style of Wilson Pickett, but I can't find that anywhere.

Perhaps most famous of all though, Bill appears in a infamous mondegreen in Madonna's 1992 hit Erotica...

Bill Oddie,

Bill Oddie,

Put your hands all over my body...

Unfortunately, he never made it into a Half Man Half Biscuit, unlike that other famous celebrity birdspotter, Phil Cool. There's always someone cooler than you.

Half Man Half Biscuit - National Shite Day

Celebrity Jukebox #82: Kevin Keegan

Usually it's Ben who informs me of the latest candidates for this feature, but yesterday morning it was Sam who announced that Kevin Keegan was no longer with us.

When I was growing up, I paid very little attention to sport, so I knew very few sporting celebrities. Ian Botham. Steve Davis. John McEnroe, obviously. But as football was the sport I liked the least (let's be honest: I actively hated it), my knowledge of footballers was worst of all. I went out of my way to not know who they were.

All that said, I knew Kevin Keegan. And not because of this...

Kevin Keegan - Head Over Heels In Love

I was pretty certain Nigel Blackwell must have mentioned Kevin Keegan in a song at some point, but all I could find was this...

Bubble perm

Ever since your bubble perm, 

I've gone ex-directory, just in case you need me

Half Man Half Biscuit - Everything's A.O.R.

Paul Heaton though, he gave Kevin the immortality he deserves...

Nearly, we were actually the reason

Footballer and popstar would perform

All they really wanted was cuddle and a hug

And an XXL like me to keep them warm

Nearly did I get myself run over

When Kevin Keegan clearly blew a kiss

Nearly did we get beat up by bouncers

When Elton John we caused his train to miss

Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott - Nearly Once

Here's something very loud, with an amusing title.

Mia Hope - My Sister Looks Like Kevin Keegan

And here's something a lot easier on the ears...

Rebecca Richman - Eglantine / Kevin Keegan's Waltz

And here's a tribute from a German ska band...

No Life Lost - Kevin Keegan

But like many of the stars featured in this jukebox, Kevin Keegan probably deserves a better song to eulogise him. 

Perhaps he can share one with Jennifer Finch, bass player with L7, who also sadly died of cancer earlier this week... 

Celebrity Jukebox #81: Sam Neill

Gone to hunt the great T-Rex in the sky.

As the celebrity jukebox has taught us, true immortality only exists in song... or if you have a band named after you.

This lot are unbearably loud, but they did in which every track was named after a movie Sam Neill appeared in. And it's worth noting that when they posted it on bandcamp back in 2012, "Any potential profit from the sale of this album will go to buying our bassist gear, as his amp and guitar were stolen." I hope they made enough. You may disagree.

Sam Neill - Dead Calm

Here's something a little easier on the ears from Tampa, Florida...

And finally, a lyrical nod from Aussie band BREADCLUB, with added T-Rex...

I don't feel like myself

Feeling like I’m in a movie

With Sam Neill

When I was in the eighties

BREADCLUB - T-Rex

I can't help thinking Sam deserved a better tribute, so here's a song about a Sam, by a T-Rex. Let's go out on a high...

Celebrity Jukebox #80: Bonnie Tyler

We interrupt our scheduled programming for a tribute to Bonnie Tyler, who died on Wednesday. Those of you waiting with bated breath for the Cancel Culture Club postscript... it'll be here next week, I promise. But Bonnie takes priority.

Regular readers of this nonsense will know that I'm a huge fan of the overblown melodramatic glory of Jim Steinman. Nobody has stretched the pure essence of the rock n roll mythos to such wonderfully ludicrous extremes, and in Meat Loaf, Jim found the perfect voice for his theatrical, sturm und drang histrionics. 

However, there were times when Meat just wasn't available. Either because he'd knackered his voice from all that bawling... or because he and Jim weren't quite seeing eye to eye. When that happened, Jim tried singing the tunes himself... but most people agreed he wasn't quite up to the job... and that's when he discovered Bonnie Tyler.

Up until then, Welsh chanteuse Gaynor Sullivan had been carving about a pretty decent career singing reasonably average tunes like Lost In France and It's A Heartache. I'm guessing Jim must have heard one of these, because in 1983 he offered her a song written for Meat which looked like it wasn't ever going to get recorded. And the rest is history...

Other Steinman / Tyler collaborations followed - not all of them hits, but all of them amazing.

Bonnie Tyler - Faster Than the Speed of Night

Bonnie Tyler - Rebel Without a Clue 

Bonnie Tyler - Holding Out For A Hero

Winnipeg punk band The Washups pay tribute to the latter of those here...

The Washups - Bonnie Tyler Cried 

And here are a few more lyrical tributes...

No Nets - Bonnie Tyler

LUCA - Bonnie Tyler

And I'm not Bonnie Tyler, and I'm not Toni Braxton

And this song is not gonna save your relationship

Los Campesinos - We Are All Accelerated Readers 

Losing Bonnie Tyler will be accepted by many people as just another dead star... but for me, after saying goodbye to both Jim and Meat not so long ago, this feels like the end of an era. Still, given the grand mythology of angels and devils, heaven and hell that they all dabbled in... I like to think they'll be re-united and singing with the seraphim as we speak.

We'll close today with another Steinman/Tyler favourite, this one featuring Todd Rundgren on guest vocals...

Rest in peace, Bonnie. You were magnificent.

Celebrity Jukebox #79: Penelope Keith

Farewell then, Penelope Keith.

I hope it was a Good Life.

Celebrity Jukebox #78: David Hockney

So I'm in the Tate

And I'm looking at a Hockney

And oh, Sweet Jesus!

There's something about that blue

It touches me deep inside

Amazes me when I step outside

I'm sweating

I'm sweating

I'm beginning to palpitate

I can't help myself

I just can't help myself

Modern art

Makes me

Want to rock out!

I don't know a lot about art, but I like a fair bit of David Hockney's work. He used colour very well. 

Miniature Tigers - Afternoons With David Hockney

Coals - Hockney

Polock - Hockney

I figured there wouldn't be a shortage of songs that mentioned the world-famous, Bradford-born artist... and I wasn't wrong. There's even a song that beat Sting to the punch...

Godley & Creme - An Englishman In New York

Defecting Russian dancers dance into Hockney prints

Exclusive to Bloomingdale's, gift-wrapped in red

No, that's not the Sting song. Kevin & Lol got there first. 

What else can we find?

Crayon drawing on the label

Looks like a David Hockney

But I knew it probably wouldn’t taste nice

Yet somehow it grabbed me

The Orielles - I Only Bought It for the Bottle

How about some Hamish?

It's the quiet times that really do me in

Disastrous indecision, walking in the shadow of a drawing pin

In a raincoat, on a Monday etc

Mocking all of my Hockney ephemera

Rare plagiarisms, superimpositions of Karen and Cohen

Hamish Hawk - Once Upon An Acid Glance

Meanwhile, Dan Bern is going to have to do a rewrite...

I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again

It didn't bother me too much

Warhol's dead

David Hockney's still alive

I don't need to paint

Dan Bern - Estelle

Jake Shillingford likes to swim in a Hockney pool too...

Take a dip into the Hockney blue

Your heart will lead your hands

And you will fly

Dive

My Life Story - I Dive (Unanswered Questions and Questionable Answers)

And, of course, Nigel has something to say...

Well, I just cycled in to the

Pine floored living room

Pissed on the mystics

Scoffed at the Hockney

Took all the road signs

Back to the council

Put my foot through the TV

Not that they’d notice

Winced at the film trivia

Book at the bog-side

Burst all the bean bags

Smoked all the French fags

Hey Mr. Gauloises

Où est le hubcaps?

Half Man Half Biscuit - Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent

Then there's these guys...

I want to be in magazines

And be part of the scene

I want to see my paintings hang

In every gallery

I want the world to stop and stare

Whenever it sees me

But most of all I want to be

In David Hockney's diaries

Final word today though comes from another famous Yorkshire artist, this one in poetry, not paint...

Celebrity Jukebox #77: Anthony Head

If this were a paranoid conspiracy part of the internet, we might be wondering if there was a curse on Buffy The Vampire Slayer. First, the proposed revival / reboot series was cancelled with very little explanation. Then actor Nicholas Brandon, who played Xander through the show's entire run from 1997–2003, died of "natural causes" back in March. He was the same age as me. And now, we hear of the passing of Anthony Head, aka Rupert Giles, a little bit older, but no age really (he was 72). 

If you never watched Buffy, you might recall Head playing the Prime Minister in Little Britain, or his recurring role as Hannah Waddingham's estranged husband in Ted Lasso. And if that still doesn't ring any bells, well... here's his brother.

Both brothers appeared in the lead role in Chess back in the 80s... but only Murray got on Top of the Pops. Anthony got his chance to sing on TV a little later...

 

If that's all a little Broadway for your tastes, then here's Manchester band Cruush with their very own tribute to Anthony Head's most famous character...

Now that I’m older

I don't feel much wiser

I just feel frozen

Waiting for the earth to swallow me whole...

Celebrity Jukebox #76: Dennis Locorriere

It's pushing 30° as I write this so I don't have much enthusiasm for a long post - fortunately Alyson has done all the hard work for me. I was sad to learn from her blog that Dr. Hook frontman Dennis Locorriere has joined the heavenly choir last week - there he is, pictured above with the good Doctor himself.

Alyson's tribute was far better than anything I could have written, but I was reminded of two old posts from this blog which might do in lieu of anything fresh...

One Track Mind #3: When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman

Sequel Songs #9: Mrs. Avery

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #6: Remember when 37 was middle-aged?

Rest in peace, Dennis.

Celebrity Jukebox #75: Gerry Conway

Who killed Gwen Stacy?

Was it Norman Osborn, the criminally insane businessman who liked to fly around on a motorised bat, dressed in a green and purple Goblin costume? He was the one who tossed her off the Brooklyn Bridge, laughing maniacally as she plunged towards the icy waters of the East river.

The Daily Bugle, of course, would immediately claim that Gwen was killed by Spider-Man... and for a while, the evidence did point towards him. Grief stricken, the young man behind the mask appeared to admit his culpability to police before fleeing the scene. And there are still those who believe it wasn't the fall that killed Gwen, but the sudden jolt of being caught by Spider-Man's web as he desperately tried to save her.

Professor Caffeine & The Insecurities - You're My Mary Jane, Not My Gwen Stacy (I Won't Accidentally Kill You)

In truth though, Gwen's killer was neither of the above. It was 21 year old comic book writer Gerry Conway, the young man given the daunting responsibility of taking over from Stan Lee on the Amazing Spider-Man comic back in 1972, when he was still a teenager. Some say comics grew up when Gwen Stacy died, and while that's a little too dismissive of the work that preceded this issue, it's certainly true that they were never the same again.

Gerry Conway went on to create The Punisher, Ms. / Captain Marvel, and many other important characters for both Marvel and DC, before moving on to work in TV. The Spider-Man stories he wrote, both in the 70s, and when he returned to the character in the late 80s, are such a big part of my life, it's hard to express their impact. Thank you, Gerry... and I've forgiven you for killing Gwen, even if some people still hold it against you.

Celebrity Jukebox #74: Chip Taylor

It's been a busy week, so this is the earliest opportunity I've had to pay tribute to singer and songwriter Chip Taylor who died towards the end of March. I write a lot of these eulogies lately, and every one of them affects me in some way or other (otherwise, I wouldn't write them), but even then... the news of Chip's death hit me hard. Because through the songs he wrote in the latter part of his career, I felt like I knew him. Whenever I listened to one of his new records, it began to feel like I was catching up with an old friend. I felt like we had a certain simpatico, even though he was thirty years older than me and lived half a world away. I knew where he was coming from. 

I only really discovered Chip Taylor in 2019 when I heard the above song on the radio. But it turned out that I'd known his songs much, much longer.

Because back in 1965, Chip wrote this...

The Troggs - Wild Thing

And then, a couple of years later, he wrote this, a song I became very familiar with as a child because the 1981 version by Juice Newton was a firm favourite of my old friend Tel...

Juice Newton - Angel of the Morning

 Along the way, Chip also wrote many other fine records...

Janis Joplin - Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)

Waylon Jennings - Sweet Dream Woman

The American Breed - Step Out Of Your Mind

Billy Vera & Judy Clay - Country Girl-City Man

Emmylou Harris - Son Of A Rotten Gambler

Lee Hazelwood & Nancy Sinatra - Storybook Children

The Hollies - I Can't Let Go

Arthur & Mary – Is That You

Peggy Lee – Sneakin' Up On You

Madeline Bell - Picture Me Gone

Chip released a number of solo albums in the 70s, and then apparently spent most of the 80s playing blackjack and betting on horse races, only curing himself of that particular addiction following the death of his mother in the mid-90s. After that, he returned to recording and released some wonderfully individual and idiosyncratic solo records, as well as a string of excellent collaborations.

Chip Taylor - On The Radio

Chip Taylor - Black & Blue America

Chip Taylor & Carrie Rodriguez - Sweet Tequila Blues

Chip Taylor & John Prine - Sixteen Angels Dancing 'Cross the Moon

But I always come back to this one in the end. Thank you, Chip. Rest easy, fella. Thank god you weren't one of the perfect people...

Celebrity Jukebox #73: Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra; after ten excruciating minutes, the cobra died.

Ben messaged me midway through Friday afternoon to pass on the news that Chuck Norris had passed. My immediate reaction?

No. Way.

There would have been an expletive in the middle of that, but I was at work.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

I can't say I was ever a fan of Chuck Norris, but I'm still glad he existed. I do have fond memories of seeing his movies every Saturday afternoon in the local video shop. The ACTION MOVIES shelf was right next to the HORROR MOVIES shelf. My attention was always focused solely on the latter - unless I'd decided I wanted to watch Back To The Future or Ferris Bueller's Day Off again. Beyond Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, I didn't have much interest in the action films.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Back in the early days of the internet, Chuck Norris Facts became one of the first memes. They may have originated with a writer called Ian Spector who eventually published a series of collections, but many were just made up by people online. They played up to the idea that Chuck Norris was the toughest guy on the planet, and although Norris himself downplayed their significance, it's clear they played a big part in turning an average B-movie into a living, breathing icon.

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number. You picked up the wrong phone.

This one was always my favourite.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.

Speaking of counting, I broke the lyrics search engine when I asked it to suggest songs with Chuck Norris in them. There are literally THOUSANDS of them. Most of them are rap songs, because toughness by association is a number one device in rap lyrics. Most of them weren't very good either. Chuck Norris deserved better. 

Here are a couple I liked...

I could never die, I'm Chuck Norris 
Fuck the government and fuck Boris

Stormzy - Vossi Bop

I want to kill Chuck Norris
And my trick is the invisible fist

Ice Cube - Street Fighter

Chuck Norris's Social Security number is the last nine digits of pi.

And here's one I've actually been listening to lately, from the world's best pop-punk pranksters, Bowling For Soup. This is a song about a woman who's got an abusive boyfriend, and what B4S would like to do to him...

I wish Bruce Lee was here right now
(With his fists of fury)
With his trusty nun-
Chuck Norris is still alive
So let's call up Walker, Texas Ranger
All the dudes from Danger Danger
Let's get the A-Team, 50-Cent with his bling-bling
And a couple of prison guards...

It takes a bad man to slap her around.

Such a tough guy to keep such a good girl down.

She's wearing shades but we all see

Behind the tinted glass.

And I've got 99 biker friends

That wanna kick your ass.

Bowling For Soup - 99 Biker Friends

Speaking of Chuck's long-running TV show, Walker, Texas Ranger... let's not forget that he did a Dennis Waterman on that...

There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but the name was changed as nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

There's even a band named after him. Ladies and gentleman, I give you... The Chuck Norris Experiment.

So yeah, when I heard Chuck Norris was dead, my reaction was a firm No. Way.

Because if Chuck can go, the rest of us are screwed.

We really are in the End Times now.

Celebrity Jukebox #72: Neil Sedaka

All I need to say about the late, great Neil Sedaka can be heard in the songs below...

Neil Sedaka - Oh! Carol

Neil Sedaka - Calendar Girl

Captain & Tennille - Love Will Keep Us Together

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Neil Sedaka - Laughter in the Rain

Tony Christie - Is This The Way To Amarillo 

If he'd only written one of those, his name would deserve to go down in legend... but he was a co-writer on all of them, and many more.

Here are a few lyrical tributes...

Diggin' a record on the juke box
I nearly makes me want to cry
You always thought it was a cracker
The one by Sedaka 'bout away to say goodbye

Not sure about rhyming Sedaka with cracker, guys.

Kenny - Julie Anne

Boulder Colorado one nine sixty five

In a four piece cover band, called Peter and the wolves

What we lacked in musical got skill

We made up raising hell

But peter's grandmother's

Uncle's friend

Knew neil sedaka's manager who said he would send

My funky little band on a national tour

So we waited by the phone

And we waited, and we waited some more

The Bacon Brothers - Almost Got Rich

(Yes, Kevin is one of the Bacon Brothers.)

And I'm a host when my best friends come over

And kinda a hostess when they've finally gone away

I can sing up a song just like Neil Sedaka

I've got it covered, I'm kinky, straight, and gay

Martin Mull - I'm Everyone I've Ever Loved

And finally, here's one for George... all 32 minutes of it...

Some men say he could fly some men say he could swim

Others say he could sing like Neil Sedaka

And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of him

Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention - Billy The Mountain

We close the jukebox today though with one of my favourite Neil Sedaka songs, given a new sheen by another late great - Mark Lanegan.

Celebrity Jukebox #71: Robert Duvall

If you appeared in The Godfather, even if it was a relatively small role, chances are that'll take top billing in your obituary. For me though, when I think of Robert Duvall, I think of the man who loved the smell of Napalm in the morning. Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore from Apocalypse Now.

And taking us back to a story I wrote about a couple of weeks back, Bob Duvall also played one of the most famous fictional characters to give his name to a 90s indie band in the 1962 adaptation of To Kill A Mockingbird.

And in case you're wondering (as I did), he was no relation to Shelly Duvall from The Shining (although her Dad was called Robert). But he did star in the TV adaptation of Larry McMurtry's western Lonesome Dove... and that gives me an excuse to play another tune by Larry's son, James. And if they ever made a movie out of the song below, Robert Duvall would have been the perfect casting...

James McMurtry - South Texas Lawman

Here are a couple of eclectic lyrical references...

At the Hotel Nikko, Robert Duvall suite

My people's eyes through the peep hole

I'm loving you down freak

Jay Z - Only A Customer

CNN with no bad news, 

Stevie Ray playing the blues, 

Robert Duvall in any role, 

John 3:16 to a troubled soul.

Heartland - You

And then, the main event. Because Robert Duvall could turn his hand to music at times. 

Here he is in 1983, in the movie Tender Mercies, in which he played down and out country singer, Mac Sledge...

Robert Duvall - If You'll Hold The Ladder (I'll Climb To The Top)

Here he is with Emmylou Harris, from the soundtrack of the movie The Apostle in 1997...

Emmylou Harris & Robert Duvall - I Love to Tell The Story

And here he is, a cappella, in the soundtrack to the excellent 2009 Jeff Bridges movie Crazy Heart...

Rest in peace, Bob.

Celebrity Jukebox #70: The Reverend Jesse Jackson

In a world where so many prominent politicians are just plain EVIL... it's a shame when we lose one of the half-decent ones.

Here are some cool songs for the late Reverend...

Zapp - Jesse Jackson

Billy Young - Jesse Jackson For President

Leslie Isaiah Gaines – Jesse (Didn't Get No Justice) / The Jesse Jackson Blues

Don Patterson - Jesse Jackson

Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel - Jesse

Of course, not everyone agreed with everything Jesse had to say...

Jesse you say common ground, does that include the PLO?
What about people right here right now who fought for you not so long ago?
The words that flow so freely falling dancing from your lips
I hope that you don't cheapen them with a racist slip, oh common ground
Is common ground a word or just a sound?
Common ground, remember those civil rights workers buried in the ground

Lou Reed - Good Evening, Mr. Waldheim

But I reckon even Lou would have preferred Jesse to more Ronald Raegan!

Would we take Jesse Jackson?
Hell, we'd take Michael Jackson!

Gil Scott-Heron - Re-Ron

I saved this one till last. Turns out Kris was one of Jesse Jackson's biggest fans... and that's good enough for me.

Celebrity Jukebox #69: Sal Buscema

I’ve been reading comics for almost fifty years now, and many of the writers and artists who were around when my obsession began are no longer with us. In the past few years, we’ve lost Stan Lee, John Romita, Jim Shooter, Neal Adams, Keith Giffen and many more.

Sal Buscema, who died earlier this week, just two days shy of his 90th birthday, is one of the last of the original Marvel artists to pass. By that, I guess I mean the artists who started out in the 60s. We lost his older brother, John, almost a quarter of a decade ago. Maybe Sal was always seen as working in his big brother’s shadow, but I preferred Sal's loser, more dynamic style. He drew some of the first comics I ever read, and he drew some of my all time favourite stories, particularly his lengthy team-up with writer J.M. DeMatteis on Spectacular Spider-Man in the 90s, a high water-mark for both storytellers.

  

Sal was a storyteller first and foremost. Unlike many of the flashier artists who came later, you could read and follow the action Sal drew without even needing word balloons or narration. His work had a sense of drama and pace that many more stylised artists never achieve. He worked as a penciller and inker at Marvel comics for almost fifty years, with only a brief spell at DC. In that time he must have drawn every big Marvel character – Spider-Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Thor, the Avengers… in my head, I can picture issues of all their books, drawn by Sal.

And he was the first one to draw the Hulk’s love of beans.

Goodnight Sal. Thanks for so many great memories.

The Wedding Present – Spider-Man On Hollywood

Bill Callahan – The Ballad of the Hulk

Em Beihold – Spider-Man

Celebrity Jukebox #68: Christa McAuliffe

It’s forty years to the day since the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded 73 seconds into its flight, killing all seven crew members.

Among that crew was Sharon Christa McAuliffe, the first teacher to fly into space. She was shortlisted from more than 11,000 applicants… also on that shortlist was singer-songwriter John Denver, who got as far as the NASA induction programme. When Denver saw what happened on January 28, 1986, he was inspired to write this tribute…

Well, I guess that you probably know by now
I was one who wanted to fly
I wanted to ride on that arrow of fire right up into heaven
And I wanted to go for every man
Every child, every mother of children

I wanted to carry the dreams of all people right up to the stars
They were flying for me
They were flying for everyone
They were trying to see a brighter day for each and everyone
They gave us their light
They gave us their spirit and all they could be
They were flying for me
They were flying for me

Although he survived the Challenger disaster, John Denver died 11 years later when his own home-built light aircraft crashed into Monterey Bay, California.

Denver isn’t the only songwriter to have been affected by what happened to Challenger. Frank Turner was only four years old in 1986, but seeing the accident on TV had a profound effect on him. Many years later, he would imagine hearing Christa McAuliffe’s final broadcast (there is speculation that the crew didn’t die when the explosion happened on board the spaceship, only when it crashed into the sea) over the ham radio he’d played around with as a kid. A “silent key” is the term used by amateur radio enthusiasts to refer to deceased radio operators.

This is one of my favourite Frank Turner tunes. The more I listen to it, the more it breaks my heart.

On the 28th of January 1986
Christa McAuliffe gazed in horror as the O-rings failed
And she died, and she died, and she died
For the next agonising two minutes and forty-five long seconds
She called out the truth on a broken radio:
"I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive"
It came as some surprise to realise that as she lost everything
The world was revealed in a transmission so real that she understood everything:
You're still alive, you're still alive

Celebrity Jukebox #67: Brigitte Bardot (Part 3)

OK, I realise this is a cheap way of filling blog posts on my first week back at work, but don't blame me - blame all these songwriters who were obsessed with the late Ms. B.

Last lot today, I promise. Though I did leave a load out... and probably missed a bunch too.

We'll start with a suggestion from The Swede, which I'm kicking myself I didn't remember...

Will Serge's own 'Initials BB' will be making an appearance?

And the reason I'm kicking myself? I'm a big fan of the Mick Harvey version...

On with the show... and I suppose we have to get this one out of the way...

The Bollock Brothers - Brigitte Bardot

Now let's move up to something with a bit more class.

I'm in love with Sophia Loren
I'm in love with Bridget Bardot
I'm in love with the whole dumb scene

The Psychedelic Furs - We Love You

Zig-zag, walk like Marilyn Monroe
Zig-zag, talk like Brigitte Bardot
No stone gonna be unturned
When you're out there, walkin' and a talkin'
Baby, doin' the Zig-Zag Walk

Foghat - Zig Zag Walk

You know what, you're a supersonic flight
A song by Lennon and McCartney
A Mohammed Ali fight
You're like Brigitte Bardot
No way Danny La Rue...
But most important of all
You are you

Gilbert O`Sullivan - You Are You

Marilyn, Sophia, Danny La Rue... who else might Brigitte get compared to?

She smiles like Richard Nixon
Walks like Brigitte Bardot
And I love her, but I can't trust her

The Bad Examples - She Smiles Like Richard Nixon

That's the problem with being an icon. You can choose your lyrical bedfellows. Still, given what C said about Brigitte's latter-day politics, maybe she'd appreciate spending time with Tricky Dicky?

Well you may not look like Brigitte Bardot
But you got rhythm in your big black toe

Colin Blunstone - Pay Me Later

That's got to be the weirdest lyric yet. Can Noddy beat that?

I get weird imaginin's about all different kinds of things, but I always try
To get fantasising thoughts, maybe Bardot in her shorts, like a natural guy
So I took a trip to Tutankhamen's tomb
He was alone and said he hoped I'd come back soon

Slade - I'm Mad

Of course he can.

Bobby boy's full of bravado
His girlfriend looks like Bridgette Bardot

You know, I wouldn't normally lower myself to the Menswear level, but credit where it's due - that's one of the better rhymes I've seen since starting this list.

Menswear - Stardust

Can anyone find a better rhyme for Bardot?

I should be raising the bar high, avoiding the bar low
I'll write a million songs for you as if I was Barlow
'Cause you're my Bridget Bardot, my precious cargo
I'm tryna speak my mind but I don't get very far though

Example - Millionaires

Alright, show-off. After that, let's go for a really basic one...

The first time that you saw Bardot
Inside you really glow
But I feel better than that
(I feel better than that)

Miles Kane - Better Than That

Lots of blokes squeezing her into their songs? What about a lady for a change?

Every time I see you, I see Paris in your eyes
A hint of the forbidden, Brigitte Bardot style
Every time I dream of you, I dream that distant land
Where I once held tomorrow in my hand

Janis Ian - Paris In Your Eyes

And another female perspective... from a male songwriter.

'Cause when I was a little girl, you'd dress me like Bardot
And the hallway'd become a catwalk, and you'd watch me go to the show
Said, "All the little girls were pretty, but I was pretty like fresh flowers"
I was a superhero, mama, with superpowers

Kevin Morby - US Mail

And to close - this really is the end of our Bardot tribute, I promise! - here's the theme to Eurotrash, by Francis Lai... and a certain Ms. Bardot.

Celebrity Jukebox #67: Brigitte Bardot (Part 2)

More songs about Bridgette... we'll start with a lovely one that was recommended by C.

Is it too late for Christmas songs? Not if they sound as gorgeous as that.

Here are a few more titular mentions...

Jorge Veiga - Brigitte Bardot

Mina - Brigitte Bardot

Relick - Brigitte Bardot

The Rave-Ups - Brigitte Bardot

Mike Campbell & [His Backing Band] - Brigitte Bardot 

And a selection of interesting lyrical nods...

Like Brigitte Bardot

In Godard's Les Mepris

I can't love you enough

To make you complete

You appear in my dreams

With some new courtier

You need me there to see

What you need to convey

The Who - It's Not Enough

Quiet on the set please

We'll take it one more time

Shoot her at close range

A little more flesh

I know she wouldn't mind

Cruise with his shirt off

And Bardot on her wall

No, you can't survive with a quiet hit

Sometimes you've gotta show it all

Sharon O'Neill - Poster Girl

I dreamt last night that Brigitte Bardot

Was drowning in the clutches of a big undertow

And guess who the lifeguard, her only salvation

That mouth to mouth resuscitation

John Hartford - Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation

I going talk to Brigitte Bardot

And tell her, "Miss Bardot take it slow"

All the men think they're Casanova

When they see that she's bare foot all over

Even old men out in Topeka

Find their hearts getting weaker and weaker

So we must ask her for your sake and mine

At least wear her earrings part a' the time

Harry Belafonte - Zombie Jamboree (Back to Back)

Where have you gone, Betty Crocker?

Come back, Brigitte Bardot, Eddie was in for a shocker

How was he supposed to know

About the secret life of Eddie's first wife?

Gretchen Peters - Eddie's First Wife

Pyjama party, pyjama party party

I asked Brigitte Bardot and Fred Astaire

But they didn't show, no no no

Can't say I'm surprised, given Sailor's reputation.

Sailor - Pyjama Party

End of the road

Remember singing along

To Bridgette Bardot

Je t'aime de toute mon âme

Dan Rico - Hit And Run

Elton, meanwhile, mentions her in two separate songs. I'm guessing Bernie must be a fan.

I'd make an exception

If you want to save my life

Brigitte Bardot gotta come

And see me every night

Elton John - I Think I'm Going To Kill Myself

Marlene Dietrich

Marilyn Monroe

Brigitte Bardot

Doris Day

Billie Jean

Samantha Fox

Joan Collins

Kiki Dee...

And that list goes on and on (on the album version, at least).

Elton John & George Michael - Wrap Her Up

Another list from Rick...

Sophia Loren, Bridgitte Bardot, Jean Harlowe

Marilyn Monroe and Marlene Deitrich

But Greta, you're better than any I've seen

Yes, you were a real beauty queen

Rick Springfield - Born Out Of Time

Whereas Rod's in two minds about Brigitte...

I had a crush on Bardot

Fell in love with Monroe

Read about 'em in the nationals

All the juicy little scandals

But I never saw 'em dancin' at the county hall

With the short fat guy's prematurely bald

Rod Stewart - Blondes (Have More Fun)

You can keep your Streisands

Bardots and Lorens

You're my everything

Rod Stewart - Fool For You

Let's get a bit more down to earth with Ian...

You're not Bridget Bardot, I'm not Jack Palance

I'm not Shirley Temple by any circumstance

Or Fred Astaire

Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Common as Muck

Let's finish today with Ms. Bardot herself, with Serge of course, on her Harley...

 

But that's not the end of our Bardot tribute. Come back tomorrow for even more!

Wait a minute, Rol, tomorrow's Tuesday! Yep...