As Half Man Half Biscuit reminded us on Friday, yesterday was Record Store Day. And so, to celebrate, rather than taking out a second mortgage (the first one's bad enough), I dug out 15 songs about record companies. They're rarely complementary...
15. Soft focus.
I know, I know, these guys only featured here a couple of weeks back, but I couldn't not include this...
I'll get round to Henry Kissinger eventually. He may not deserve a tribute, but he certainly appears in plenty of songs.
First though, and far more importantly, we need to celebrate the life of the man who sung this...
If you were to make a list of the best intros to 60s hits, that would be right up there. It's a cover, of course, and the Bessie Banks original is pretty special too... but Denny & co. gave it a bit more zing. Denny didn't stick it out with the Moody Blues and most of their subsequent success came with Justin Hayward at the helm... but for me, they never bettered that track, even when they got decked out in White Satin.
Denny didn't stop there though, he went on to form The Electric String Band and begin releasing solo material too...
You might say he earned his Wings with that one. So it's hardly a surprise that Sir Thumbs Aloft would soon be giving Denny a call and asking him to join a new beat combo he was putting together. I often wonder, late at night when I just can't get to sleep, whether Macca invited Denny to join Wings because his name sounded like a pun on Penny Lane. Or did Denny - whose real name was Brian Frederick Hines - choose that particular rock star alias for exactly that reason? Not according to Denny himself, who claimed the Laine came from Frankie, his sister's favourite singer, and Denny because... er... "everyone had a backyard, and a den to hang out. I think I got that nickname there." Turns out that Denny had his stage name before Paul wrote Penny Lane, but as the song is about a real Liverpudlian Street, could the Birmingham lad have visited it in his youth and found it just as inspirational as the Scousers did? You can see why I find it hard to get back to sleep.
As to Wings... well, they were only the band The Beatles could have been.
You knew that one was coming.
Which leads us to this...
Mull Of Kintyre is a track I was taught to hate from an early age. It became cool to loathe it, largely due to the fact, I presume, that it was the UK's biggest selling single of all time throughout the late 70s and half the 80s, at least until Band Aid came along and sold a few more copies. But is it really that bad? I mean, OK, it's no Band On The Run or Jet or Goodnight Tonight... it's not even Junior's Farm... but really, it is really worth all the vitriol? Even when the bagpipes come in. Actually, watching that video now, I come over all wistful for times long gone, and that's the power of a good pop song as far as I'm concerned.
When Ben alerted me to the passing of Denny Laine, he added the following comment...
That means it's only going to be Fairytale of New York and Mull Of Kintyre this Christmas. At least it means Stop The Cavalry will have less airtime. Christ, I hate that song.
Unwittingly, Ben just provided me with an excellent link into the only obvious song that came to mind as a tribute to Denny Laine...
Sadly that was all I could find that mentioned Denny by name. Well, apart from this live track from the album Wings Over Europe on which Macca graciously cedes the stage to Denny...
I'm sorry you have to Go Now, Denny. I hope your heaven is filled with mist rolling in from the sea.
Went to see the movie Darkest Hour last weekend. An excellent piece of entertainment - Gary Oldman is fantastic - though I wouldn't rely on it for its historical accuracy. The climactic scene (wholly made up) of Churchill riding the tube and getting down with the little people, while hugely emotional in the film, is also utter poppycock. Mark wrote an interesting piece last week about the canonisation of Churchill, recognising that although he may have been the right man for the job of winning WWII, his record before that was questionable at best. I've also seen other columnists commenting on how Churchill's current popularity ties into the post-Brexit "euphoria", which is pretty disturbing when you think about it.
So what do our favourite songwriters have to say about Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill? You may be surprised...
Let's start with Paul Heaton, a man who rarely has any sympathy with politicians, even "popular" ones. When I teach speech writing in English class, we discuss the use of the inclusive pronoun in Churchill's finest moment...
Your 'fight them on the beaches' speeches make me despair 'Cause if there's one thing we can guarantee is you will not he there Tidying your room, making up your bed And if your diary's full that week you'll send us lot instead
Send us lot instead, put a poppy by my lovers bed We believe you when you say you've hurt your back
Have you ever been away Where were you when we took Calais? You don 't know, you don't care You 're just glad that you wasn't there Have you ever been away
When E ends up in hell, this is what he finds waiting for him...
Waking up with an ugly face Winston Churchhill in drag Looking for a new maternal embrace Another tired old gag Am I just a walking bag of chewed up dust and bones
This was set to be released as a single the week after Princess Di died. The band were riding high on the back of two hits, Novocaine For The Soul and Susan's House. Radio pulled all airplay because it was seen to be in bad taste... all they played for the next three weeks was Elton John's Candle In The Wind. E's unlucky day in hell.
Of course, it's never really possible to tell from his lyrics what David Bowie thinks about anything, but I'll just leave this here and you can make of it what you will...
I'm the twisted name on Garbo's eyes Living proof of Churchill's lies, I'm destiny I'm torn between the light and dark Where others see their targets, divine symmetry Should I kiss the viper's fang? Or herald loud the death of Man I'm sinking in the quicksand of my thought And I ain't got the power anymore
Churchill often spoke about the "black dog on his shoulder", a metaphor for depression the Manics just couldn't resist...
My dilemma but not my choice Winston Churchill can you hear my voice?
Melodrama there in my kitchen sink
Double vision the way it is
Am I coming home to you again?
Or am I stupid just by design?
Does it matter if you really ever know?
This black dog is out of control
My mouth is so dry
My eyes are shut tight
There's a black dog a coming tonight
Black dog's a coming tonight
That famous speech again, all twisted up in Matt Johnson's finest hour...
It's war, she cried, It's war, she cried, this is war Drop your possessions, all you simple folk You will fight them on the beaches in your underclothes You will thank the good lord for raising the union jack You'll watch the ships out of harbour And the bodies come floating back
You might expect Ray Davies, staunch icon of everything British, to see Mr. Churchill in entirely black and white terms. Yet in his even he wonders about the grey areas...
"Today's TV exposes weaknesses in politicians ... But I don't know about Winston Churchill. He may have been a bit more ruthless than we've been led to believe. When the battle's over and you've won, you always look good. But what was achieved by it?"
We shall defend our island On the land and on the sea We shall fight them on the beaches On the hills and in the fields We shall fight them in the streets...
OK, it's a Christmas song, but I could hardly leave it out, could I? There's Winnie in the opening line, for cripes sake!
Hey, Mr. Churchill comes over here
To say we're doing splendidly
But it's very cold out here in the snow
Marching to and from the enemy...
Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum...
1. Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Oliver's Army
Not the best Churchill song on this list, but undeniably the best song - and Elvis's most famous tune. Written in response to seeing young boys from the British army standing on the streets of Belfast with loaded weapons, Elvis was particularly angry that 'they always get a working class boy to do the killing'. Churchill wasn't still calling the shots in 1979... but then, neither was Oliver Cromwell.
Oh, and Elvis nicked the tune from Abba's Dancing Queen. Class.
But there's no danger It's a professional career Though it could be arranged With just a word in Mr. Churchill's ear
If you're out of luck or out of work We could send you to Johannesburg
Good to see he got sent to a nice sandy beach for the video. Love the bit where he goes running through the surf with his guitar.
Today isn't New Year's Day here at Top Ten Towers. It's a very special birthday for a very special person. And in celebration... here's ten songs that mention her name...
See, Jona didn't just stop the cavalry and spend all his time in the kitchen at parties. He was also a whiz on a pair of rollerskates. And, judging from his vocals in the chorus, he was also occasionally possessed by Beelzebub.
Ah, yes, our Bonnie - a voice that could sink a thousand battleships... as this video ably demonstrates. This isn't her finest hour (it wasn't written by Jim Steinman), but it did knock Neil Diamond - Hey Louise out of my countdown, so you may be grateful for that.
Jason Lytle falls foul of Louise's mother - she always hated him. Fortunately not something I have to worry about as my "mother-in-law" (the law never really got involved) is lovely.
Phil Oakey rides around on a barge, singing into a remote control, bemoaning the loss of Louise. Why did she leave him? The clue's in the mullet, Phil. (I should talk - you should see my hair at the moment.)
This is the best song in my collection with Louise in the title. So why isn't it Number One...? 1. Lloyd Cole - Perfect Skin
I choose my friends only far too well...
Ha
- got you! I never said it had to have Louise in the title. (See also Visions of Johanna by Bob Dylan.) Here's one
of Lloyd's finest, and the line "academia blues" seems a pretty accurate description for his songwriting in general. It's about the girl with "cheekbones like geometry and
eyes like sin". A lethal combination, but at least she keeps up to date
by reading Cosmo. This is a song of contradictions...
Up eight flights of stairs to her basement flat Pretty confused huh?
But if you're looking for a moral... strikes me there never has been one.
Thank you for everything, Lou. I love you, hon'. Have a great birthday.
It's not only soap operas that fill our Christmases with death, suicide and murder. The festive season can be the deadliest time of year in the world of pop too...
Nothing to do with poisoning Delia Smith's Christmas cake.
Although
the lyrics don't make direct reference to it, the real life crime that
inspired this classic murder ballad took place on Christmas Eve 1900. In
the video Johnny Cash recorded for the American
Recordings sessions, Delia is played by Kate Moss. Johnny ties her to a
chair, shoots her in the side, and buries her in a shallow grave. A
smashing Christmas present to anyone who thinks she's a pointless stick.
She was low down and trifling
And she was cold and mean
Kind of evil make me want to
Grab my sub machine
Delia's gone, one more round
Delia's gone
Another
murder ballad inspired by a grim Christmas crime. This is what happens
when you're forced to spend too much time with your family over the
festive season...
I think you can probably guess where this one ends up... but you'd be wrong. Howie Gelb makes the most of a pile-up on the interstate by using it as an excuse to stay the night with his new lady...
Meanwhile, Glasvegas spend the festive season getting all bent out of shape by bitter memories of an ex-lover. Good will to all men and women... unless they dumped you during the preceding year.
Remember it when,
You promised me how,
This time this Christmas things would be different by now...
All I wanted was to be,
Where your heart is,
But that's all changed now,
Now you're dead to me
In which Paul and Art bring yuletide cheer to all by mixing a sweet performance of the timeless carol with 70s news reports of war, assassination and mass murder. The old funsters.
The best new Christmas single I've heard this year... although it's actually a cover of an old Everly Brothers tearjerker. The message appears to be: if that hitchhiker you don't stop to pick up when you're driving back to your loved ones in the snow on Christmas Eve doesn't make it home alive... you'll be to blame.
Of course, if you do stop to pick him up, he'll probably turn out to be a serial killer. But maybe that's next year's song.
1. The Killers - Don't Shoot Me, Santa
The Killers release a new Christmas song every year, but this is my favourite. And Brandon Flowers' Christmas jumper is tops!
So, you survived my Christmas killing spree... but what's your fatal festive favourite?
When you're scared of down and out You keep it to yourself and if anyone suspects You say: "Who me ? Hardly!" You tell him "Thank your stars, this isn't Derby day 'Cos it's clear you've got the gift for backing the wrong horse, Charlie."
The lyrics in this song are truly beautiful, yet most of it's the way Paddy sings them. Wonderful phrasing, worthy of Sinatra the way he takes the vocal melody in such surprising directions.
Spoiled somewhat since it was adopted by Ikea, but nevertheless, this is still the best Jona Lewie song not about Winston Churchill and Christmas. Great bored-out-of-their-heads backing singers in the video too.
It's A Shame About Ray is 20 years old this year. How can that be possible?
Those are the songs playing in our new kitchen. Which one gets you dancing round the Smeg? (No, we didn't buy a Smeg. What do you think we are, made of money?)
