Reasons To Be Cheerful (iii): Golfer's Elbow

Haven't done one of these for a while, but now seems an appropriate time...

1. Colder nights

After the unseasonably warm weather of the past week, during which I've been sleeping with just a sheet (and a fan in the bedroom!), it was good to feel the need to pull the duvet over me on Wednesday night. Autumn is my second favourite season (after Spring) and I'm looking forward to the nights drawing in, the leaves on the path, even the misty mornings. 

Where are the songs of spring? Ay, Where are they?

Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—

While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,

And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;

Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn

Among the river sallows, borne aloft

Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;

And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;

Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft

The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;

And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

(John Keats - Ode To Autumn)

The Smiths - Cemetry Gates

Justin Hayward - Forever Autumn

2. Golfer's Elbow

The good news is, I don't have Tennis Elbow. The slightly less good news is that I have "Golfer's Elbow". Like I have the time (or inclination) to play golf! Still, I'm taking my recent visit to the doctors as a win, and here's why... she couldn't find anything seriously wrong with me. I've had various health concerns over the summer besides the elbow (cramp in my jaw, a weird taste in my saliva, that thing on my back), but none of them appear to be of major concern. 

They hate me when I turn up at the local GP. I don't go very often, but when I do, I bring a list...

Elbow - Lucky With Disease

Elbow - The Bones Of You

3. Micky Does Michael

This really shouldn't work. The last remaining Monkee is releasing an album of REM covers. Apparently he's a big fan, and REM were quite fond of his band too. But it really shouldn't work. 

However... if the first taste is anything to go by, this could be amazing. Dolenz has re-imagined REM's poppiest moment as though it were an out-take from Head. Now I love REM, and I don't feel the muso-snobbery towards Shiny Happy People that some fans do, but there's an argument to be made that Micky's version actually improves upon the original. I don't agree, but I'd readily listen to anyone who thought that way. Lovely stuff... 

Snapshots #217: A Top Ten Autumn Songs

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,

   Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;

Conspiring with him how to load and bless

   With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;

To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,

   And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;

      To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells

   With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,

And still more, later flowers for the bees,

Until they think warm days will never cease,

      For Snapshots has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

Here are this week's autumnal answers...

10. Roofing material with added bullshit.

Straw + BS.

The Strawbs - Autumn

9. Eponymously and thematically falling.

The Autumn Leaves - Theme To The Autumn Leaves

Pretty obscure that one. Well done if you got it.

8. Singer with a Spanish bum falls in Midlands river.

Jackie was the singer with the Spanish bum. The Midlands river was the Trent.

Jackie Trent - Autumn Leaves

7. Poe arrives too late in the year.

Edgar Allen Poe misses Autumn and arrives in the Winter.

Edgar Winter Group - Autumn

6. Bird of prey kills labourer.

Hawk slays workman!

Hawksley Workman - Autumn's Here

5. Browne songwriter reaches the top.

Jackson hits the heights.

The Jackson Heights - Autumn Brigade

4. Mule-owning Sister From UNCLE.

Two Mules for Sister Sarah.

Robert Vaughan was the Man From UNCLE.

Sarah Vaughan - Autumn In New York

3. Found in dark inks.

DarKINKS.

The Kinks - Autumn Almanac

2. Crusaders of unbalanced avenue.

Manic Street Preachers - Autumnsong

1. Austrian DJ: why?

Anagram!

Justin Hayward - Forever Autumn

The giveaway, surely.

Before winter sets in, there will be more Snapshots next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #178: A Top Ten Guitar Songs

That wasn't too difficult, was it?

A TOP TEN GUITAR SONGS

(If you wonder why I call these lists A Top Ten... rather than THE Top Ten..., it's because there are some songs I have to leave out to avoid too much artist repetition. Like...

Bruce Springsteen - House Of A Thousand Guitars

or

Magnetic Fields - Acoustic Guitar

 ...for just two examples.)

Anyway, these are the guitar songs I ended up with following an exhaustive selection process...

10. The best ale will really scramble your brain.

"The best ale" unscrambled is...

The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps 

9. Room for treating dried up grass in mason's house.

A room for treating dried grass would be a Hay-ward. Masons live in a Lodge.

Justin Hayward & John Lodge - Blue Guitar

8. Boston girl meets fortune teller who can't read.

Boston sang about Amanda.

A palm reader without the read would be A Palm-er.

Amanda Palmer - Guitar Hero

7. Godard, Hitchcock, Scorsese... Tarantino?

They're all directors who may or may not be considered auteurs.

The Auteurs - American Guitars 

6. A nobleman, like a Scottish monarch.

A nobleman would be an Earl.

A Scottish Monarch might be a Mc-Queen... just like Steve McQueen.

Steve Earle - Guitar Town

5. I get mixed up in a casual windmill.

"Casual windmill" with an extra I mixed into it leaves you with an anagram for...

Lucinda Williams - Real Live Bleeding Fingers And Broken Guitar Strings

Or you could have had this John Denver cover...

Lucinda Williams - This Old Guitar

4. Dead cockneys.

"Brown bread" is Cockney rhyming slang for dead.

Bread - Guitar Man 

3. German clarinet?

A Gerry reed instrument?

Jerry Reed - Guitar Man

2. Bill or Hal? (The latter, not so much these days.)

William and Harry are both Princes... although Harry is in question at the moment.

Prince - Guitar

(If you need a reminder of what a great guitarist Prince was, click that link.)

1. Boastful goat.

Still as blisteringly exciting as when I first heard it...

"The time that it takes to make a baby

Could be the time it takes to make a cup of tea..."

You old romantic, Bill...

More next week!

Saturday Snapshots #61 - The Answers

When it comes to Saturday Snapshots... Everything I Do, I Do For You.

Yesterday was pretty much a two-horse race between Charity Chic and Rigid Digit. By my calculations, RD snatched a half point victory. Well done to Chris for starting us off and C for mopping up. You guys definitely played it till your fingers bled...

Here are this week's answers. Please Forgive Me if I made any obvious mistakes.


10. Tiny tots love sweets, short marsupials wager.

A short marsupial would be a 'roo. That was having a bet.

The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love

9. Frankly rubbish bench-pressing.

Frankly rubbish would go in a Sinatra trash-can.

The Trashcan Sinatras - Weight Lifting

8. Calydonian queen & summer kebab chase Billy Joel's Number One.

Althea was the queen of Calydon in Greek mythology.

Donna Summer. Doner kebab.

Bily Joel's Number One was Uptown Girl.

Number One is the top ranking.

Althea & Donna - Uptown Top Ranking

...and ting.

7. Van Gogh's DNA tells us his favourite Genesis song.

Vincent's genes say, "Mama!" (the Genesis song).

Gene Vincent - Say Mama

6. Spinach for breakfast, broccoli for lunch and cabbage for tea will make you go mental.

Spinach, broccoli & cabbage are all greens, so that would be a Green Day.

If you went mental, you would be a basket case.

Green Day - Basket Case

5. Dame loses id est listening to Kate Bush song twice; needs sweets after that.

The Dame was Bowie, minus ie would be Bow.

Kate Bush sang Wow. Twice would be Wow Wow.

Bow Wow Wow - I Want Candy

4. Timely hedge warden is proven wrong as winter arrives.

A hedge warden is a hayward, apparently. (That's called 'research'.)

Timely would be just in time, of course.

If winter arrived, then Autumn would be over, thus proving wrong the idea that Autumn might last forever.

Justin Hayward - Forever Autumn

3. A glum liar ran off with James Dean Bradfield.

"A glum liar ran" is an anagram.

James Dean Bradfield is a Manic.

Laura Marling - My Manic & I

2. Wogan will help with your puncture, but only in the summer.

Terry would need a jack to fix your puncture.

Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun

1. Neil Armstrong brings home the bacon.

With apologies to any officers who may be reading this nonsense.



It's obvious by now that we Can't Stop This Thing We Started, so Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. Heaven!