When I was a kid, I vividly remember the thrill of watching the old Universal horror movies late Saturday night on BBC2. You'd never see these classics on TV these days, and they're in danger of being airbrushed out of history for anyone other than ardent cinephiles... but we remember them today, starting with Victor (or Henry, as he was known in James Whales' film) Frankenstein and his monster, played by Boris Karloff...
That was the obvious tune, although curiously it only made it to Number 5 in My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs back in 2015...
Before you knew it, the Monster demanded a mate... in the form of Elsa Lanchester.
I couldn't immediately think of a song named after The Bride, but then I discovered New Zealand's Toy Love, who were on Flying Nun, so they had to be worth a listen. Here they are in 1980...
Todd Browning's Dracula was the first of many Universal films featuring the Lord of the Undead (and his family), although it's the only one to feature Bela Lugosi in the title role (unless you count his guest appearance in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein). Despite that, Lugosi is the actor most often associated with the Count, even long after his death...
The direct sequel to Lugosi's Dracula featured Gloria Holden as Countess Marya Zaleska, aka Dracula's Daughter. Which leads us nicely to Colin Meloy and co....
More bandages were wrapped around Claude Rains in 1933... although when he took them off, he disappeared completely. There's loads of Invisible Man songs to choose from (see here), but this was the obvious choice, still one of Declan's finest album tracks...
The rest of you should just be glad that Martin stays in bed till the afternoon most Saturdays.
2. Good afternoon, Batgirls.
This was one of those clues where I didn't want to over-egg the pudding. Originally it was something like "Good afternoon from Japan, Batgirls and Dog Ladies", but really... you didn't need all that. Well, Martin didn't, anyway.
Let's start with the obvious one. It's a graveyard smash!
Originally released in 1962, though it was banned in the UK by the BBC for being "too morbid" (different times) so it wasn't a hit over here until the early 70s.
I'm not sure what I make of Jack Savoretti. I have a couple of his records, but they've never really grabbed me by the lugholes. This is a pleasant enough tune though, not too earnest-young-man (the curse of many of today's male singer songwriters, I feel: they need to crack a smile every now and then), and it deserves a mention for giving Shelley's original Doctor some consideration... rather than the more obvious Universal or Hammer take on the character as seen... well, here:
OK, so I wouldn't choose to listen to this every day, but occasionally I do dig a bit of hysterically operatic pomp-rock. And let's face it, it deserves a place on this countdown for its title alone.
The theme tune to the 80s teen comedy in which two high school nerds create their own "Franken-babe" in the shape of Kelly Le Brock.
You had to be there. And be a teenager.
I was vaguely aware of Oingo Boingo beyond this song, but I did not know that they'd been around since 1972 (when they started life as The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo), or that their lead singer / songwriter was movie and Simpson theme tune composer Danny Elfman.
Sam is new in town and having no luck whatsoever finding himself a date for Saturday night...
Now, another fella told me, He had a sister who looked just fine Instead of being my deliverance She had a strange resemblance To a cat named Frankenstein!
This is what rock music looked like in the 70s, kids. If you watched The Old Grey Whistle Test, anyway. A monumental rock instrumental, this song apparently made history for being the first time anyone had ever strapped a keyboard around their neck and played it like a guitar. Winter goes on to play both saxophone AND drums here during the same performance: without ever taking the keyboard off.
The original recording was spliced together from loads of separate tapes in which Winter played most of the instruments himself: hence, Frankenstein.
Annoyingly, the only version I could find on youtube is a live recording where Aimee drags half of Toronto up on stage with her to take part in the song. Which is a shame, because this is Metaphorical Aimee at her best, giving electric life to the story of a horrific romance...
And when later we find that the thing we devised
Has the villagers clamouring for it's demise
We will have to admit the futility of
Trying to make something more of this jerry-built love
Originally released by Aerosmith in the 70s, the more famous version is Rick Rubin's masterful car crash of hip hop and rock which broke rap into the mainstream charts for the first time and led to many far less-enjoyable rock/rap combos. It's a great song in both incarnations, but what's the Frankenstein connection, I hear you ask?
Well, Steve Tyler came up with the title based on a scene in the Mel Brooks' film Young Frankenstein. He left his original lyrics for the rest of the song on the back seat of a taxi so the version that was finally recorded was a sleazy something he came up with in the stairwell at the studio while the rest of the band were twiddling their fingers and bitching about him behind his back.
The best song on this list by a mile (hell, it's one of the best songs of the 21st century), but I couldn't make it Number One for reasons detailed below.
No, the F in GMF doesn't stand for Frankenstein... but there is quite a lot of Frankenstinian imagery going on here, notably here...
Half of the time I think I'm in some movie. I play the underdog of course. I wonder who they'll get to play me. Maybe they could dig up Richard Burton's corpse?
I am not who you think I am. I am quite angry--which I barely can conceal. You think I hate myself, but it's you I hate Because you have the nerve to make me feel.
Imagine those lines delivered by Monster to his creator... and they make a twisted kind of sense, don't they? And if further evidence is needed...
I should've practiced my scales. I should not be attracted to males. But you said that I should learn to love myself. Well, make up your mind, Dr. Frankenstein!
If you've not got into John Grant yet, please reconsider. Don't forget: you could be laughing 65% more of the time...
1. Alice Cooper - Teenage Frankenstein / Feed My Frankenstein
I had to give this one to Alice: he won on sheer numbers. Two great songs about Frankenstein AND a whole career cobbled together from horror film theatrics. It lives!
Of the two, 1986's Teenage Frankenstein is the stronger strong, a classic ode to teenage alienation... even though it was written by a 38 year old man.
I'm a teenage Frankenstein
These ain't my hands
And these legs ain't mine
Got a synthetic face
Got some scars and a brace
My hands are rough and bloody
I walk into the night
Women faint at the sight
I ain't no cutie-pie
I can't walk in the day
I must walk in the night
Teenage Frankenstein was written for the soundtrack of Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. You know, the one where Jason comes back from the dead and hacks to death a bunch of nubile teenagers after they're finished with (or, occasionally during) copulation. Ah, yes, it brings back memories of my own teenage years. Not the copulation: the duff 80s horror sequels.
Feed My Frankenstein, on the other hand, featured in a slightly more memorable film: Wayne's World. Wayne and Garth even feature in the video. Unlike TF, it wasn't an original Vincent Furnier composition: it was first recorded by Zodiac Mindwarp And The Love Reaction.
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