Snapshots #430: Underwear Songs!

Heidi Hi, campers! 

Welcome back to this week's Snapshots – songs about underwear! Ms. Klum is famous for walking about in her skivvies, though she did agree to keep her kit on for propriety’s sake. It was either her or Biggie Smalls…

15. Crazy, Hippy Lit.

Crazy Chick was a song by Charlotte Church. Hippychick by Soho. And Chick Lit by We Are Scientists.

The Chicks - Tights On My Boat

14. Tanya Donnelly. (Donelly. Donnelly. Donnelly.)

Tanya Donnelly was the lead singer of Belly. (Belly. Belly. Belly.)

Echobelly - Pantyhose and Roses

13. It’s not unusual to be a very patient man.

Tom Waits - Pasties And A G-String

12. Chinese troops in a skirmish.

“Chinese troops” was an anagram.

Stereophonics - More Life In A Tramp’s Vest

11. When it comes to not throwing stones, these guys are the rulers.

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones… but imagine you lived in a Crystal Castle?

Crystal Castles - Through The Hosiery

10. Sounds like a Yes Man to me.

His namesake is Jon Anderson from Yes.

John Anderson - Do You Have a Garter Belt?

Think this was originally a Tony Joe White tune, but Tony appears here regularly.

9. Show me to my seat.

Usher - Lingerie

8. Dado, shags Patti.

Da do Ron Ron… Sex with (Patti) Smith.

Ron Sexsmith - Late Bloomer

7. It takes a bright man to be captain of the England cricket team.  

Sarah Brightman and Michael Vaughan.

Sarah Vaughan – Shiny Stockings

6. Needs ironing out.

The Kinks - Mick Avory's Underpants

Yeah, OK, it’s only an instrumental – but you find a song with underpants in the title!

5. Most stories contain one - Add Me On Snapchat!

Most sTORIes. The Snapchat thing is an acronym that the young people use. Apparently.

Tori Amos - The Power of Orange Knickers

4. May, Kennedy and Wilson, like the cattle.

Three Bri/yans and Highland Cattle.

Bryan Hyland - Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Just be glad I didn’t choose the Timmy Mallett version.

3. Brown, South and Jackson get in the ring.

Three Joes, boxing.

JoBoxers - Boxerbeat

2. Frank takes a Scottish wife, in hashtags and angel eyes.

Frankenstein wanted a Bride, though he wasn’t fussed whether she was a Mc.

In hASHtags and angeLEYes.

Ashley McBryde, Caylee Hammack, Pillbox Patti - Brenda Put Your Bra On

And yes, Ashley has some help on that track… but how long do you want my clues to get?

1. REM's 11th album gets a mixed response.

REM’s 11th was the LP UP. Anagram!

Pulp - Underwear

 

Something less pants next Saturday.

Coffee Break #3: Dead Pheasant

Sinéad O'Connor - Black Coffee

I drink my coffee black, because that's how I prefer it. Despite my previously discussed aversion to cold milk, I can have milk in coffee... I just don't like it. Also, less calories, so it's win/win for me. I also don't have sugar, because... why would you? 

Matthew Jay - Sweet Black Coffee

Apparently there are two calories in double shot Americano and one if you only have a single shot. But why would you only have a single shot?

Redhouse Gasoline - Strong Black Coffee

If you really must increase your calorie intake, you could try it with some toast. But I wouldn't recommend stopping at Mike Pedicin's cafe...

Mike Pedicin - Burnt Toast And Black Coffee

You'd be much better off at Tim Booth's house...

James - Coffee & Toast

Just watch he doesn't try to sneak some milk in. 

All Saints - Black Coffee

The song at the top of this post, by Sinéad, was written by Sonny Burke and Paul Francis Webster back in the late 1940s. This is the original version...

Sarah Vaughan - Black Coffee

...but it's also been recorded by all the usual suspects: Frank, Ella, Petula... Tricky. 

Back when I drank tea, I used to take it black with no sugar as well. I couldn't find any songs about Black Tea, so here's some Pennyroyal Tea for you tea drinkers. 

Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld

So I can sigh eternally

I'm so tired I can't sleep

I'm a liar and a thief

Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea

I'm anaemic royalty

(Be warned though, although Pennyroyal leaf extracts are relatively harmless, Pennyroyal Oil can cause syncope, seizures, coma, cardiopulmonary collapse, acute liver injury, renal insufficiency and multiorgan failure. You might be better sticking with a nice cup of coffee.)

The big question is... why did I call this post “Dead Pheasant”? Not because the pheasant had been eating from the Pennyroyal plant, I assure you.

Tommy Tsunami - Are You an Angry Pheasant?

No, this comes from an amusing story my mum told me at the weekend, about the time my dad hit a pheasant with his car on his way home from work. If you drive the country lanes round here, kamikaze pheasants are a constant risk. They really are the stupidest of birds, and appear to have a pathological desire to run out in front of oncoming traffic. Watch them run and you can also see how they’re clearly descended from dinosaurs. Although thankfully, they do less damage to your car than hitting a velociraptor. 

Josh Rouse - Pheasant Feather

Anyway, my dad hit the pheasant, and being a Yorkshire farmer, he brought it home for tea. Waste not, want not. “I lit some candles,” Mum told me, “and we had a nice romantic meal.”

Bill Maynard - Pheasant Plucker's Son

I hope they washed it down with a nice cup of coffee. Black, of course. 

I like it black, just black as night

It keeps me up, it keeps me tight

It don't matter the size of the cup

Just as long as you fill it up

With black caffeine

Keeps me lean

You can hear me scream

Give me black caffeine

Snapshots #217: A Top Ten Autumn Songs

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,

   Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;

Conspiring with him how to load and bless

   With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;

To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,

   And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;

      To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells

   With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,

And still more, later flowers for the bees,

Until they think warm days will never cease,

      For Snapshots has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

Here are this week's autumnal answers...

10. Roofing material with added bullshit.

Straw + BS.

The Strawbs - Autumn

9. Eponymously and thematically falling.

The Autumn Leaves - Theme To The Autumn Leaves

Pretty obscure that one. Well done if you got it.

8. Singer with a Spanish bum falls in Midlands river.

Jackie was the singer with the Spanish bum. The Midlands river was the Trent.

Jackie Trent - Autumn Leaves

7. Poe arrives too late in the year.

Edgar Allen Poe misses Autumn and arrives in the Winter.

Edgar Winter Group - Autumn

6. Bird of prey kills labourer.

Hawk slays workman!

Hawksley Workman - Autumn's Here

5. Browne songwriter reaches the top.

Jackson hits the heights.

The Jackson Heights - Autumn Brigade

4. Mule-owning Sister From UNCLE.

Two Mules for Sister Sarah.

Robert Vaughan was the Man From UNCLE.

Sarah Vaughan - Autumn In New York

3. Found in dark inks.

DarKINKS.

The Kinks - Autumn Almanac

2. Crusaders of unbalanced avenue.

Manic Street Preachers - Autumnsong

1. Austrian DJ: why?

Anagram!

Justin Hayward - Forever Autumn

The giveaway, surely.

Before winter sets in, there will be more Snapshots next Saturday.