Snapshots #460: Walking Songs

Nothing better on a Sunday morning than a nice walk...

15. Shooting stars.

The Meteors - Stampede

14. Extinct after a very big one from above.

A very big meteor killed all the Dinosaurs, even the Pterodactyls.

Terry Dactyl & The Dinosaurs - Seaside Shuffle

13. That's Pipers & Jelly... Talking.

Lemon Pipers, Lemon Jelly... and Talking Heads.

The Lemonheads - Rockin' Stroll 

12. Poetic, Gas, Parking.

Three different Meters.

The Meters - Keep On Marching

11. Rag told me not to come with my new bag for One.

Rag Mama Rag, Mama Told Me Not To Come. Papa's Got A Brand New Bad, Papa Was A Rolling Stone (#1).

Mamas & Papas - Trip, Stumble & Fall

10. Hermes, revised. 

Hermes was the Greek equivalent of Mercury, the Roman messenger of the Gods. 

Mercury Rev - Delta Sun Bottleneck Stomp

9. "God bless us, everyone!”

That's what Tiny Tim says in A Christmas Carol.

Tiny Tim - Tip Toe Thru' the Tulips With Me

8. Karen tricks her group.

"Karen tricks" was an anagram.

Nick Straker Band - A Walk In The Park

7. One of Captain America's fathers.

Captain America was created by Jack Kirby and...

Joe Simon - Step By Step

6. Eel found between Fourth and Barry.

E from Eels between #4 (see below) and Barry White.

Matthew E. White - Steady Pace

5. Her father found a Newlove... but carried on with the old one too.

Kirsty MacColl's mum was Jean Newlove. Her father, Ewan MacColl "was also in a relationship with folk singer, multi-instrumentalist and songwriter Peggy Seeger (a relationship that would continue until his death in 1989), and already had a son with Seeger."

Kirsty MacColl - Tread Lightly

4. Tonight... I'll be Gene...

Tonight, Matthew, I'll be Gene Wilder...

Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride

3. I'll direct you to a 1937 disaster.

I've Led you to think about the Hindenburg, a disastrous Zeppelin.

Led Zeppelin - Trampled Underfoot

2. Polo, Battle... and a Britpop DJ.

Polo Mint, Battle Royale... and Lauren.

Mint Royale & Lauren Laverne - Don't Falter

1. No stolen girls! Not here.

"No stolen girls" was an anagram.

Rolling Stones - Midnight Rambler

Walk back this way next Saturday for more Snapshots.

Guest Post Friday: A Top Ten Dairy Songs

It's been a hectic week here at Top Ten Towers - not much time for blogging.

Fortunately, George was ready to step in...

A few days ago, in the must-listen-to-every-song-all-the-way-through Namesakes series, Rol wrote that despite the title of his blog he does not actually write a Top Ten piece any more. (I'm glad to see George is finally calling that series by its proper name.) I emailed him to say that I had started several but never got to ten songs. Well, now I have. So here it is. A “Top Ten Dairy Songs”. A teacher of English would know: is it ironic that a top ten dairy list is compiled by a vegan? (Yes.)

The songs below are not in any order of preference.

1. Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band - Ice Cream for Crow

The title track of his last album, and a rollicking great, almost rockabilly, song.

Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band - Ice Cream for Crow

How insanely catchy is that riff? Maybe this is the best song in the list.

2. Hot Butter - Popcorn

Readers older than Rol might remember this hit from 1972.

Hot Butter - Popcorn

In parts it sounds a game of pong gone mad. I’ve done a Rol here in stretching/ignoring the rule that the song itself must pertain to the title, but I can’t see any objection coming from either Rol or regular reader Ernie.

I object on the basis that I do remember it and wish I didn't. Ernie?

3. Billy Bragg - The Milkman of Human Kindness

One of my favourite “sing-along-with-Billy-Bragg” songs.

Billy Bragg - The Milkman of Human Kindness

Am I the only one who started to lose interest in his music after the first two albums?

Hopefully.

4. Led Zeppelin - Custard Pie

It never occurred to me before writing this piece that this song might not actually be about the stuff you pour on your apple pie or rhubarb crumble.

Led Zeppelin - Custard Pie

Anyway, components of custard are dairy, so it’s in the list. That funky bit in the song is made by a clavinet. I think.

5. Larry Williams - Peaches and Cream

Not one of his better known songs, but a fine 2 minute blast of rock and roll. And given it’s a 1950s rock and roll song, I suppose the peaches and cream of the song are not actually a fruit and a dairy product.

Larry Williams - Peaches and Cream

6. Tarnation - Little Black Egg

Bending the rules again*, but  I’ve always lumped eggs in with dairy, probably from years of saying “vegetarian and no eggs no dairy”. Sung by one of my Top Ten favourite female singers. Mr CC has written (here) about our attempts to see Tarnation in Sheffield, he got the train from Glasgow, me  driving up from Birmingham. Indeed he is very lucky never to have seen them twice!

Tarnation - Little Black Egg

*I'd have been crucified if I'd tried that.

7. Quim Barreiros - Omelette

And from the absolutely fantastic Quim Barreiros, from the first album of his that I purchased, “A cabritinha” (I’m 99% confident he is not referencing little female goats)  and here you can see the great man in action, musically that is:

Quim Barreiros - Omelette

And I actually think this is a song about making an omelette. Of course, my knowledge is Portuguese entendres / sexual slang is almost zero. (I do know not to go to Mrs Woman in the veg shop and ask for tomatoes, though, only for tomato.*)

*The mind boggles.

8. The Handsome Family - The Sad Milkman

Another milkman song, by the Handsome Family:

The Handsome Family - The Sad Milkman

That's my favourite - and a great relief, since I was worrying George might include Ernie's Namesake.

9. The B52s - Quiche Lorraine

And as I am including eggs, here’s the obvious one:

The B52s - Quiche Lorraine

10. Wynonie Harris - Keep On Churning ('Til The Butter Comes)

Possibly my favourite of this list, and I am 100% confident that this song is using a sexual metaphor. 

Wynonie Harris - Keep On Churning ('Til The Butter Comes)

Somehow this song wasn’t banned. If anyone is thinking of doing a My Top Ten Sweetie songs, can I suggest Lollipop Mama by Wynonie Harries, a song that is of course about, according to wikipedia,  a type of sugar candy usually consisting of hard candy mounted on a stick and intended for sucking or licking".

So there you are, a Top Ten Dairy Songs list, that probably only has one song about a dairy product.

And if he posts this, thanks go to Rol. Enjoy the music.

Thank you, George, for bringing the tone of this blog down several notches. Always good to see.

Snapshots #389: The Snapshots Dessert Trolley

I'm on a diet at the moment, so putting this edition of Snapshot together was an exercise in self-flagellation. For the rest of you - feel free to indulge your sweet teeth below..

15. Non-White Raconteur.

The Raconteurs were a band featuring Jack White and...

Brendan Benson - Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

14. One bed flat for family of ten.

Crowded House - Chocolate Cake

13. Too busy singing.

I'm sure most of you easily spotted the Monkee-Mobile... but did you recall this awful school dinner substitute for rice pudding?

The Monkees - Tapioca Tundra

12. He was always wrong in French.

Mal - Mighty Mighty Roly Poly

Mal Ryder (aka Paul Bradley Couling from Wales) didn't make much of a mark on the UK music scene in the 70s... but he was very big in Italy. I include him here today because I do like a good Roly Poly.

11. Stork joins hawk to create a weird hybrid.

"Stork joins hawk" was an anagram...

Horst Jankowich - A Walk In The Black Forest

Black Forest Gateaux is evil. But if you dined out in the 70s or 80s, it was seen as the height of sophistication. 

10. The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians puts on a bit of weight  in their luxury abode.

"The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians", as I'm sure George will know, are the IMA. So Fat + IMA in a Mansion...

Fatima Mansions - Angel's Delight

Another staple dessert from my childhood, but far preferable to Black Forest Gateaux. Especially Butterscotch flavour. 

9. C disappears fast.

In the word Quick, if you make the C disappear, you are left with...

The Quik - Bert's Apple Crumble

8. Zeus gave nan a mixed message.

"Zeus gave nan" is an anagram...

Suzanne Vega - Caramel

7. Hedgehog children.

Sonic The Hedgehog, of course...

Sonic Youth - Créme Brûlèe

6. Goat, flippin'... the end of Christine.

Billy Goat + Flipping 'Eck + Stine...

Billy Eckstine - Jelly Jelly

5. Small horses, still kids, you've never seen them before... but they're joining up together! 

Bit of a laborious clue, I admit...

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

4. Lights on a flying machine. 

That'll be the LEDs on the Zeppelin...

Led Zeppelin - Custard Pie

3. Fake lists contain everything you need to know.

FaKE LISts...

Kelis - Milkshake

2. I have a legal document stating that I can write this clue.

Warrant - Cherry Pie

1. Proof Stu was a very confused man.

"Proof Stu" was an anagram...

Four Tops - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

More tasty treats for you next Saturday morning... 

Guest Post Thursday #14: A Top Ten "I Can't..." Songs (Part 1)

It's been a while since I ran any guest posts here, and the only reason for that is that nobody has offered any. Fair enough, most of you have your own blogs to worry about. Fortunately, George has got sick of reading my interminable ramblings day after day, or perhaps taken mercy on me after yesterday's bumper post, and offered not one, but two guest posts to give me what Huey Lewis would call a Couple Days Off. So Guest Post Thursday is back!

Here's George...

I was listening to one of the three cds in the Sick, Sorry and Sober set recently and I heard this:

Today I passed you in the street, And my heart fell at your feet, I can’t help it if I’m still in love with you

And I thought that it was genius: a simple lyric, a simple tune, that Hawaiian-sounding guitar, that reedy, plaintive and painful voice, combining to make an unforgettable song. I can understand why some 70s and 80s country music puts people off, but I will never understand how people could not like and admire this song.

Hank Williams - I can't help it if I'm still in love with you 

And if you can get hold of that 3 cd set I would urge you to do so.

A while later, whilst sitting around not doing much, just singing those lines, I thought of this, another simple intro, builds up a bit, that “ooo” the drum roll, then Levi Stubbs’ voice...

The Four Tops - I can't help myself

I’m spoiling you, two utterly brilliant songs, it’s got to be downhill now. There’s a lot of song titles that start “I can’t”, and an amazing number of them are great. And then there’s that abomination by crap prog turned crap pop group with that drummer-singer. So, to cleanse your ears after just polluting them with the thought of that song, here’s some hard-rock blues.

Led Zeppelin - I can't quit you baby

You’ll be pleased to now know that I have been having the sleep of the just of late, obviously not a care in the world, unlike The La’s...

The La's - I can't sleep

And Mr Mavers was somehow not satisfied with that album?

Onto more genius lyrics...

Is it day, is it night, Am I losing my sight, I can’t see me without you

Yes, another country song. Really, how can that start not make you at least smile (or laugh out loud)?

Conway Twitty - I can't see me with you

And after a busy morning eating, the goats are having a lie down, chewing their cud. They are obviously telling me to include this song:

The Velvet Underground - I can't stand it

Anita is on heat as I write this, has been for a couple of days, so much bleating round these parts, and it’s difficult to get her in the goat shed. Parsley goes in no problem, a bit of bread, corn, he’s there, but at times like these, not Anita. FORTY minutes it took on Tuesday. She’s bleating for Francisco’s young male goat:

The Who - I can't reach you

It was very frustrating, he bleated.

The Temptations - I Can't get next to you

My thoughts on this?

The White Stripes - I can't wait

Yes, I can’t wait for this bleating to be over. And one more tune...

The Stylistics - I can't give you anything but my love

Insert your own goat-on-heat joke.

So a Top Ten “I Can’t” songs. Yes, some obvious ones not there, some deliberately excluded on grounds of taste, but not Barry Manilow, oh no, but because the song is Can’t Smile WIthout You, and not I Can’t Smile Without You.

Thanks of course to Rol for allowing this to be posted. Feel free to leave your inane comment. 

And I’ve just been informed that I can write a part 2. I bet you can’t wait!

Because tradition dictates I close my posts with a video (I feel naked without them), I found another version of George's top song which is equally worthy of your ears. And I'm glad George didn't diss Barry. Less bothered about him dissing the drummer-singer. 

More goat sex I Can't Songs next Thursday...

Thanks, George.

Snapshots #190: A Top Ten Sick Songs

Perhaps not the nicest subject matter I've ever used to connect songs, but not a bad set of tunes.

When I think of sick, I think of our cats puking up furballs... any excuse for a cat camera pic!

Answers... sorry if they get a bit heavy this week!

10. Count Ferdinand was a heavy metal pioneer.

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, that would be.

Led Zeppelin - Sick Again

9. Welsh bays.

Cardigan Bay.

The Cardigans - Sick And Tired

8. The last ding dong. 

Ding Dong, Avon calling. The last time they call would presumably be Z-von.

Warren Zevon - Don't Let Us Get Sick

7. Found in a dirty, wet hive.

Mudhoney - Touch Me, I'm Sick

6. Montgomery, Huntsville, Mobile.

Three towns in Alabama.

The Alabama 3 - Too Sick To Pray

5. Thank Robbie for teeing off.

Take the T off thank and you get Hank, with Robbie Williams...

Hank Williams - Lovesick Blues

4. Bothered?

Disturbed - Down With The Sickness

If that's too loud for you, may I suggest this version instead...?

Richard Cheese - Down With The Sickness

3. Bee, birds, gopher.

It's an anagram!

Phoebe Bridgers - Motion Sickness

2. Disc knitters.

And another one!

Tindersticks - City Sickness

1. Guitar playing rabbit floats up and down.

Cue the first ever lyric video...

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, but it'll blow more Snapshots your way next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #139 - The Answers

And God Created Woman.

After that, he sat down and had a go at Saturday Snapshots.

Here's the answers he came up with...



10. Hot, fashionable vinyl clicks a clapperboard.

When you click a clapperboard, you shout, "Action!"

The Flaming Groovies - Shake Some Action

9. The most beautiful hairdresser I ever heard... but build like a stone.

In West Side Story, Maria is the most beautiful sound they ever heard.

The hairdresser (out of work at the moment, presumably) would be Vidal Sassoon.

Maria Vidal - Body Rock

Ah, the 80s never go out of fashion in this house.

8. First letter to where Sonny died... off we trot once more.

The first letter is A.

Sonny Bono died at Lake Tahoe (it says so in the song).

A - Here We Go Again (I Love Lake Tahoe)

7. Back when we used to bop like #2... and shag like an operatic solo.

Those Dancing Days are named after a song by our #2 artist this week.

Those Dancing Days - Fuckarias 

I'm very disappointed that I only discovered this band after they'd split up.

6. Mr. T shoots racist marmalade.

That really does look like Rob Brydon.

But, no!

Mr. T was B.A. Baracus.

The racist marmalade is Robertson's.

B.A. Robertson - Bang Bang

I'm not sure what to make of that after all this time. The video makes it look like a Kenny Everett spoof.

5. Third Scarborough herb for George... in shaky property.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme were the herbs in Scarborough Fair.

George Clooney.

Shakin' Stevens memorably covered this song.

Rosemary Clooney - This Ole House

4. Staple found in the middle of Elvis - I'm just saying.

Elvis's middle name was Aaron.

Pair that with Neville Staple.

Aaron Neville - Tell It Like It Is

What a voice.

3. Smoking hedge partner sets fire to jungle - call George! (Not that George.)

Benson & Hedges?

George of the Jungle was played by Brendan Fraser.

Brendan Benson - Tiny Spark

Forgotten how good that was.

2. Ellen zipped by like a Foreigner tune.

Ellen zipped is an anagram.

A Foreigner tune wasn't anything to do with I Want To Know What Love Is.

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

Ever since the last Thor movie, that has been my favourite Led Zep song.

1. Top crying from conquering crow.

Levi Stubbs was the lead singer of the Four Tops.

William The Conqueror.

Crowing is like bragging.



They don't get much better than that on a Sunday morning.

See you next week.