Snapshots #387: Fifteen + - x ÷ Sum Songs

Put your clothes on, Carol - we need your help with the complex musical equations below... specially compiled for any Maths teachers in the audience.

15. See #3 for a red hot clue.

#3 is Jason, and also includes the word "scorcher". Could I be more helpful?

Jason & The Scorchers - 2+1 = Nothing

14. Watson, Carter or Dolittle?

Dr. John Watson, Dr, John Carter (E.R.) or Dr. John Dolittle?

Dr. John - Me - You = Loneliness 

13. Before he took to hunting werewolves, he was part of a different network.

Before Bob got his Silver Bullet, he had a System.

The Bob Seger System - 2+2=?

12. Very super: electric alternative, actually. Please!

Every word is the title of a different album by the...

Pet Shop Boys - Two Divided By Zero

11. Number 3 was one... and even LA gets confusing sometimes.

#3 played Scott in Neighbours. "Even LA" was an anagram.

Scott Lavene - U + Me = Everything

10. Useful in a list, when going in and out.

The comma... doors.

Commodores - Three Times A Lady

9. A Rock, in the reading room.

Mr. Rock Hudson, in his library.

Mr Hudson & The Library - 2x2

8. Just a campanologist.

Just William, the bell ringer.

William Bell - One Plus One

7. Found in the zoo tiger enclosure... Springfield's early days.

Rick Springfield's early band, found in the ZOO Tiger enclosure.

Zoot - 1 x 2 x 3 x 4

6. Look out, guys! Adele's running after you!

Adele, of course, is famous for Chasing Pavements...

Pavement 5-4 = Unity

5. Are you going to Fleetwood, Skeeter?

Fleetwood Mac + Skeeter Davis...

Mac Davis - Two Plus Two

4. Don't make her... You wouldn't like her when she's... 

Fans of the old Incredible Hulk TV show will recall that Bill Bixby frequently told investigative reporter Jack McGee: "Mr. McGee, don't make me Ann Lee... you wouldn't like me when I'm Ann Lee."

Ann Lee - Two Times

I will confess that I had never heard of Ann Lee before compiling this list. However, I was short on ladies this week and Ann did get to #2 in the charts in 1999 with the two times tune above.

3. That sunshine's a scorcher, Superman.

Donovan sang about a Sunshine Superman. Jason, as seen above (at #15, if not in the photo) was a Scorcher.

Jason Donovan - Nothing Can Divide Us

Another one of those Jason Donovan songs that me and my mate Richard used to sing along to on the school bus when we were 16. Richard was a big fan of the Pet Shop Boys and The Smiths. I liked Springsteen and Huey Lewis. We would have told you we were just being ironic. But were we really?

2. Living in Portugal, DuBois.

Our resident Maths teacher lives in Portugal. Benson Dubois.

George Benson - Love X Love

1. Bad crash: Cher and Odie unhurt!

"Cher and Odie unhurt" was a car crash of an anagram...

Haircut 100 - Love Plus One

Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake, I fear?

Well, wherever you go, make sure you're back in time for more Snapshots next Saturday.

Celebrity Jukebox #50: Jerry Lee Lewis

It struck me that I haven’t yet marked the passing of the last of the original rock n rollers, Jerry Lee Lewis. Chuck, Buddy, Gene, Eddie, Elvis… all the rest are long gone. Some died very young (I often find myself wondering what Buddy Holly would have done next), but only Jerry Lee got to really grow old disgracefully. A controversial figure, to be sure, but there’s no denying the power of his music. 

For songs that mention Jerry Lee by name, we need look no further than Jerry Lee himself. Here are just a few…

Jerry Lee Lewis - A Damned Good Country Song 

Well, I’ve took enough pills for big Memphis town
Ol’ Jerry Lee's drank enough whiskey to lift any ship off the ground
I’ll be the first to admit
Sure do wish these people would quit it
You know it’s tough enough
To straighten up
When these idiots won’t leave you alone
Jerry Lee Lewis’s life would make a damned good country song

Jerry Lee Lewis - Trouble In Mind 

Troubled in mind, I’m so blue
But I won’t be blue always
Cause that ol’ sun’s gonna shine
On ol' Jerry's back doorstep someday

Jerry Lee Lewis -  Rockin’ My Life Away 

I’m just rockin’ and rollin’ my life away
My name’s Jerry Lee Lewis and I’m darn sure here to stay

Jerry Lee Lewis - Better Not Look Down 

In which Jerry Lee gives advice to the Queen. Curious that they both left us within just a couple of months of each other. 

And did you know that Jerry Lee Lewis invented Jive Bunny? He might as well have…

Jerry Lee Lewis – The Return Of Jerry Lee 

Finally, and perhaps most apt…

Jerry Lee Lewis - When I Take My Vacation In Heaven

Jerry Lee is going to spend his vacation in Heaven
With loved ones gone on before Jerry Lee
It’ll be Jesus, my saviour
Forever and ever
Please spend your vacation with me

See? He’s not really gone. Just taking an extended vacation.

What about other songwriters? What do they have to say about Jerry Lee?

Let’s start with Ray…

The Kinks – One Of The Survivors

He digs Jerry Lee Lewis, Dion and The Belmonts, 
And Johnny and The Hurricanes.

In case you’re keeping score, Johnny Paris died in 2006. Dion DiMucci, on the other hand, is still with us. I guess he might be the last man standing now. (Unless we count Willie Nelson, 6 years older than Dion and still going strong.)

The late Ian Dury also placed Jerry Lee in some very fine company…

Ian Dury & The Blockheads – Dance of the Crackpots

From Rosemary Clooney to Jerry Lee Lewis
From Debussy to Thelonious Monk
It’s the modern art of the human heart
The shape of things to funk, funk, funk

And here’s a song that name-drops everyone from Creedence to Otis to Missy Elliott to Korn. Chances are this one will pop up again.

Racket County – The Truth

One more of those, Paul Heaton’s celebration of jukebox records…

Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott – 7” Singles

However, we must remember that Jerry Lee Lewis wasn’t exactly a paragon of virtue. For example…

Big Audio Dynamite – BAD

Jerry Lee Lewis had a child bride
Only thirteen, but he said he's justified

Indie rocker Ike Reilly writes lyrics more suited to a rap song, but though he’s been described as “rude, crude and lewd”, he also has something to say, and does so in quite a clever way.

The Ike Reilly Assassination – I Don’t Want What You Got (Goin’ On)

Chuck Berry, Cadillac, Ludacris, Cadillac
Jerry Lee Lewis with his balls on fire 
In the back of a Rocket 88
With an out-of-state plate and an underage date
Cars and girls and drinks and songs
Leave that shit in the middle of the road
What about love and what about trust?

And that’s not the only trouble Jerry Lee got into. Remember the time he shot his bass player? (It was an accident, apparently, but he still got sued.)

Reverend Horton Heat - Death Metal Guys

Jerry Lee Lewis shot his bass player down
Down to the ground
But death metal guys would have eaten his brain
And people call Jerry Lee Lewis insane!

There’s no denying Jerry Lee had a bit of a reputation… but was he really evil?

Ministry – Jesus Built My Hotrod 

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

Then again, you could argue that’s what made him interesting! More interesting than a lot of young rock stars these days…

The Stone Coyotes – American Child

Somebody tell me
What’s going on?
Where are the wild ones?
Where have they gone?
Give me Jerry Lee Lewis
Give me Joey Ramone

Some of these new boys
They say they want to fight
But it takes them three days
To get the drum sound right

In truth, there were far more records that mentioned Jerry Lee than I’ve got time or inclination to feature here. But here are just a few of them…

Mac Davis – Hooked On Music

Ringo Starr – I’ll Be Fine Anywhere

Apple – Doctor Rock

Johnny Hallyday – Excusez-moi de chanter encore du rock and roll

Drive-By Truckers – Demonic Possession

Eddy Mitchell – Les Filles de Jerry Lee Lewis

Kid Rock & Eminem – Fuck Off

Miranda Lambert & The B52s – Music City Queen

Van Morrison – In The Days Before Rock n Roll

But this is the song I chose to close with today. Because Frank Turner understands the spirit of rock n roll that Jerry embodied. And just like I do, Frank still believes…

And I still believe
In the saints
Yeah, in Jerry Lee and in Johnny
And all the greats

Mac & Helen

 

We lost two big names from the charts of my youth on Tuesday this week, and I wanted to pay tribute.

First was Mac Davis, who the headlines will tell you wrote a few big hits for Elvis in the 70s, including In The Ghetto, Don't Cry Daddy and A Little Less Conversation.

But Mac was also a singer-songwriter in his own right, responsible for one of the best songs about being a frustrated songwriter you'll ever hear...

Rock and roll, I gave you all the best years of my life
All the dreamy sunny Sundays, all the moon-lit summer nights
I was so busy in the back room makin' love songs to you
While you were changin' your direction, and you never even knew
That I was always, just one step behind you

And then there was Helen Reddy, justly hailed by the press as the woman who wrote "feminist anthem" I Am Woman.

But the song I'll most remember her for was Number One on My Top Ten Twilight Zone Songs a few years back. She didn't write it, but she made it hers... 

The headlines read that a boy disappeared

And everyone thinks he died

'Cept a crazy girl with a secret lover who

Keeps her satisfied

It's so nice to be insane

No one asks you to explain

Radio by your side, Angie baby

I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight after listening to it again now.

 

Saturday Snapshots #96 - The Answers

Saturday Snapshots... the final frontier.

These are the answers from our five year mission to boldly go...

What do you mean he's not a singer?

I can't get behind that.

"Always can do one more..."

Well done to Alyson for a clear victory this week, even stepping away to let others have a go. Thanks for playing, as always. Very quick answers this week because I have to assemble some more bloody IKEA furniture...


10. Interesting snooker player in sou'wester sacrifices his glory days to music.

Steve 'Interesting' Davis was the snooker player.

A sou'wester is a mac.

Mac Davis - Rock 'N Roll (I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life)

9. Curtly flat, Johnny Rotten & Poly Styrene compose a ballad.

Curtly flat is an anagram.

Tullycraft - The Punks Are Writing Love Songs

8. Menace to society complains about computers being left on overnight.

Public Enemy - Shut 'Em Down

7. Goes well with heels, pants and khaki suits (twice) but is often mistaken for somebody else.

In Uptown Top Ranking, all the above items of clothing are worn with Ting.

The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name

6. ☠ Zero chance of misery.

Poison - Nothin' But A Good Time

Charity Chic and Lynchie - proud to call themselves Poison fans.

5. Put together pieces in the stratosphere.

Jigsaw - Sky High

And thanks to CC, I just discovered Jigsaw's other "hit", Journey Into Space. Which is great, because it has almost the same tune as Sky High, with added moog effects.

The above photo couldn't help but remind me of Les McQueen...

4. Telephoto Thom in a muddle about junior Lebowskis.

Telephoto Thom is another anagram.

The Dude is Jeff Lebowski.

Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

3. Louise pleads with her other half not to go to Texas.

Louise's partner was Thelma.

Thelma Houston - Don't Leave Me This Way

2. Successful conmen with cathode.

A cathode is electronic.

Successful conmen get away with it.

Electronic - Getting Away With It

Lyrics written by Neil Tennant, allegedly about Steven Patrick Morrissey.

1. Johnson's friend isn't bothered now.

Holly Johnson's buddy.

Now that's a pop song!


"I'd fight Shatner."

But once I'm done, I'll be back next week with another set of Snapshots.

Unless I get a better offer.