Snapshots #449: Gangster Songs

If you woke up this morning with a horse's head in the bed next to you... here's why.

15. Where Bond gets his suits.

James Taylor - Machine Gun Kelly

14. Yellowhammer, Yellowhammer, Yellowhammer.

Alabama is the Yellowhammer State, X3.

Alabama 3 - Woke Up This Morning

Theme tune to The Sopranos.

13. Burn receipts to prevent nasty entanglements.

"Burn receipts" was an anagram.

Prince Buster - Al Capone

12. They'll blast you to bits.

The Smithereens - Gotti

11. Audio Nerds take him in.

Audio Nerds take him in.

Dion - King Of The New York Streets

10. Not a Robin, a Kitten, a Fox or a Scimitar.

All models of Reliant motors. Including the Reliant Rialto...

Rialto - Untouchable

9. Alias "beyond the ordinary".

The Special AKA - Gangsters

8. Used for finding your way around a dark tent, prior to the year zero.

BC Camplight - I Want To Be In The Mafia

7. Hoover, Nail, Justice... it overwhelms them to be on the inside.

Three Jimmys and overwHELMS.

Jimmy Helms - Gonna Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse

6. Bloody liquid gives you twinges.

Plasma + Tics.

The Plasmatics - Concrete Shoes

5. Visualize Toothless and Puff.

Imagine Dragons - Top Of The World

Top of the world, ma!

4. How the mix-up happened.

Mix-up 'How the' to get...

The Who - The Punk And The Godfather 

3. He was summer burned and winter blown.

Lyrics from Jimmy Webb's song about...

PF Sloan - Sins Of The Family

2. Have you lost a coat, Tina?

"A coat, Tina" was an anagram.

Catatonia - I Am The Mob

1. Tablecloths at parties.

Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died

I'll be making you another offer you can't refuse next Saturday morning...

Saturday Snapshots #14 - The Answers

Almost a clean sweep for Brian and Mrs. Brian this week... staying up late on a Friday night to get first dibs.


10. Looks like she will be Jeff, but that could be an untruth.

Jeff would be Jeff Lynne, so... She'll Be Lynne.

Shelby Lynne - Your Lies

Well done to Lynchie, picking up Brian & Mrs. Brian's scraps.


9. Pulp frillies as the Transit Authority get booed off stage.

My favourite clue this week.

Pulp is paper. Lace is frilly.

The Chicago Transit Authority was the original name for the band Chicago. If they got booed off stage, they would have "died", so...

Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died

Great live version.

Top Ten bands with (lead) singing drummers, anyone?


8. Open people's minds (with poppies), at the angelic skatepark.

OPM stands for "open people's minds", apparently... or "other people's money". It has nothing at all to do with opium.

A half-pipe, as you will all know, is that curved thing skateboarders and bmx-kids do stunts on. It has nothing at all to do with drugs, despite what I thought when this record originally came out.

OPM - Heaven Is A Half Pipe (If I Die)

(Kudos to Mrs. Brian for remembering the parenthesis.)


7. DJ dies on tape: Horny!

Too easy. (The Buggles was prety much Trevor Horn... like you didn't know that.)

The Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star

I would listen to anyone who wanted to argue that this is one of the greatest pop songs ever recorded.


6. Greedy simian sings a song for a King... a Freeman... or one of you.

A greedy simian would be a monkey that swallowed the universe.

Martin Luther King. Martin Freeman. Martin.

Monkey Swallows The Universe - Martin

True to his name, Martin turned up just in time to nab this one.


5. Russian dreamer who hears people swearing at a river.

Apparently, Nina means 'dreamer' in Russian.

Simone, the female version of Simon, means "one who hears" in Hebrew.

You obviously need to work on your etymology of names if you're going to play this game for real.

Swearing at a river is a bit more obvious.

Well done to Lynchie & Alyson.

Nina Simone - Mississippi Goddam


4. Golfing saint gets wicked at a tough soiree.

St. Andrews is where the golf takes place.

Wicked is abbreviated to WK in the alcoholic beverage.

A tough soiree would be a hard party.

Andrew WK - Party Hard

This is POWER pop taken to its ridiculous extreme.

Sam likes this song because it features in the movie The Secret Life Of Pets (or Pets At Home as we call it), one of the better kids films I've seen in recent years.


3. Drunks in the smelly shop say bye.

Drunks are lushes.

Lush is also a shop that sells smelly things. (Do they have that shop in America, Brian?)

Lush (featuring Jarvis Cocker) - Ciao!

Best Jarvis duet ever.


2. J.R. piles on the pounds but can still move fast.

Larry Hagman was J.R. Ewing.

If he piled on the pounds, he would be Fat Larry.

If he went fast, he would zoom.

The Swede made a welcome return to deny owning this record. (A signed copy? By the whole band? Really?)

Fat Larry's Band - Zoom

Although "Fat" Larry James was a singing drummer, sadly he doesn't sing lead vocal on this track.


1. A solid yet piercing noise. I always did like him in M*A*S*H*.

Solid gold.

Earrings are piercings (and go through your ears: which register noise: d'uh).

This is Gary Bergoff: Radar in M*A*S*H*...

This is one of Holland's greatest hits...


Thanks for playing. Get up earlier next week, George.

My Top Ten Gangster Songs

Let's go sleeping with the fishes... cement shoes optional.



10. Bruce Springsteen - Murder Incorporated

Always good to start the new year with a bit of Bruce... new album out Monday, boss-fans! (Can't wait.)

9. Fatboy Slim - Gangster Trippin'

Of course, I don't like dance music. Yet I always had a soft spot for Norman, as far back as his Housemartin days. This is one of his best - particularly the bit where he dips the tune in his bath and lets it slowly float to the surface.

8. Talking Heads - Gangster Of Love

In which David Byrne calls out Al Capone. I know who I find scarier.

See also this other famous Gangster of Love / Space Cowboy who speaks of the "pompatous" of love. (He made that word up.)

7. Alabama 3 - Woke Up This Morning

The theme tune to The Sopranos, of course. Although I never watched The Sopranos and I was into the A3 beforehand anyway. Really. I planted that flag. Shoot me if I'm lying.

6. Ice-T - O.G. Original Gangster

You could probably fill a horse's head with gangster rap songs. This is the only one I had space for... perhaps 'cos Ice namedrops Marvel Comics halfway through.

5. Kid Creole & The Coconuts - Stool Pigeon

Remember, if you want to squeal to the FBI, they can make a deal... make it worth your while. (And they like a guy who will stab a friend.) Ha-cha-cha-chaaa!

As Stephen Malkmus says in his excellent new song: "We grew up listening to the music from the best decade ever..."

4. The Specials - Gangsters

 Terry Hall dreads to think what the future will bring... when we're living in gangster time.

3. Catatonia - I Am The Mob

Ah, Cerys, much as I enjoy your folky solo offerings and eclectic 6Music radio show, I'll always pine for the glory days of Catatonia. No one could sing "When duty calls, I'm gonna bust some balls," in quite the same way.

2. Morrissey - First of the Gang To Die

You probably expected this to be Number One, knowing your host, the Top Tenmeister General. It's certainly one of Mozzer's finest moments of the 21st Century: a touching love song to his Mexican gang chums / fanbase. And it's not his only gangster record either - I could easily have gone for Ganglord or the majestic Last of the Famous International Playboys, his slightly dubious ode to Reggie and Ronnie Kray. Ah, but, but, but...

1. Paper Lace - The Night Chicago Died

Go on, admit it, you really didn't expect this, did you? Not at Number One, surely? But they don't make 'em like this any more... some might say "for good reason". Me: I say, EMBRACE THE CHEESE!

Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be!



Sorry, Coolio fans, Paradise wasn't half a nice as any of these! But who's your Godfather...?