Yesterday was May 4th - Star Wars Day. (Because: May The 4th Be With You. Don't blame me. I didn't come up with that.) Did you need The Force to crack these clues...?
12. Flaming satellite.
Named after a Russian street gang, the "sigue sigue" meaning "burn burn"...
6. Home security camera rotates more than half way.
I've got Blink security cameras on Top Ten Towers, in case you were thinking of coming round to steal my CD collection. If you rotate something through half a turn, that's 180 degrees. Just over that would be...
Most posts on this blog lately feature a load of different, spuriously-linked songs, and gone are the days when I'd write about any one song in detail. But I've been reading Jeff Tweedy's new book, World Within A Song, and I like the way each chapter focuses on just one track. Often he goes off on a ramble and the chapter ends up having very little to do with the track in question, but it still makes for a fascinating read.
So I thought I'd try something similar. A series in which I focus on one song per post (although inevitably, as below, I might end up mentioning others). I'm not sure I'll have anything remotely interesting to say, and I'm certainly no Jeff Tweedy, but I like to set myself little challenges to stop life getting too dull.
I'm starting at complete random with U Got The Look. It was the first Prince single I bought. Although it wasn't just Prince, was it? It was Sheena Easton too. And at that time, I was possibly more familiar with her than I was with Prince himself. I grew up on Radio 2, Tel and Ray Moore in the morning, Diddy David Hamilton and the mighty John Dunn after school. Back in 1980, when Sheena Easton released her debut single off the back of her appearance in Esther Rantzen's Big Time, Radio 2 was the only station I listened to.
Despite her Lanarkshire lass, Esther Rantzen & Radio 2 beginnings, Sheena ended up being a much bigger star on the other side of the pond. After her Bond theme, she pretty much gave up on the UK (or maybe we gave up on her), whereas in the States she had 15 Billboard Top 40 hits, seven of which made the Top 10. Over there, she's one of the best-selling British female vocalists of the 80s, and because she jumped effortlessly between genres, she is the only artist to have a Top 5 hit on each of Billboard's primary singles charts: the rechristened-to-avoid-Dolly-confusion "Morning Train (Nine to Five)" (Pop and Adult Contemporary), "We've Got Tonight" with Kenny Rogers (Country and Adult Contemporary) and "Sugar Walls" (R&B and Dance).
That last one was written specially for her by Prince, but it caused quite a stir when moral rights campaigner Tipper Gore (the American Mary Whitehouse) named and shamed it on her Filthy Fifteen - a list of songs so indecent that I had to go and make a playlist out of them immediately. I'm not suggesting Tipper did the same. She probably used a C60.
But we're not here to talk about Sheena, we're here to talk about U Got The Look. Back when Prince died, 8 years ago now, I cobbled together a list of my Top Ten Prince Songs, and put this at Number 3. I'm not sure I'd stand by that list now - Raspberry Beret would be much higher, for a start. And where was Little Red Corvette? Take Me With You? Kiss!?!
An impossible task. But my point is, I don't think U Got The Look is really up there with the very best Prince had to offer. To use a football analogy (has it come to this?), it's in the Championship, not the Premier League. But it gets extra points from me because it was my first, and we always remember our first, don't we, Prince? (It's hard to write about Prince without every other sentence becoming an innuendo. They just bounce off the tongue...)
Here's what I wrote back in 2016...
I was 15, and I thought Prince must surely be the king of chat-up lines...
Your face is jamming
Your body's heck-a-slamming
If love is good
Let's get to ramming
And they played that on the radio, and nobody batted an eyelid. Because it was Prince.
You know, listening back now, I think this is Prince's answer to Paradise By The Dashboard Light. (Maybe it's just the baseball metaphors.) The only difference being that Prince, unlike Meat 'n' Jim, didn't have to promise the earth to get his end away. Because he was Prince.
I'm not sure I recognise the comments about chat up lines above... they're obviously mine, but I must have been in a particularly bullish mood when I wrote them. The truth is, at the age of 15 I was terrified at the very idea of chatting anyone up, and I certainly wouldn't have used a line like that. But I think the point I was trying to make - very clumsily - is that Prince represented a kind of hyper-masculine sexuality without ever appearing macho or chauvinistic. I can't think of any other male rock star who's walked that tightrope so carefully. I'm not sure 'Men with a capital M' wanted to be him, but women definitely wanted to be with him.
Actually, there's a much better chat up line in U Got The Look than the one I mentioned above...
You got the look (you got the look) You must'a took (you must'a took) A whole hour just to make up your face, baby
Closin' time, ugly lights, everybody's inspected (Everybody's inspected) But you are a natural beauty unaffected (Unaffected) Did I say an hour? My face is red, I stand corrected (I stand corrected)
That's the bit in which Prince realises his chat up line could actually be taken as an insult, and then corrects himself. What a great piece of writing.
Despite the fact that Prince portrayed himself as sexually voracious in his lyrics, he did so with his tongue firmly in his cheek. There's a sense of humour to all these songs that more macho songwriters do not possess. Also, I'm not entirely sure that it wasn't all an act - when the hell did he get time to chat up, seduce and perform in the bedroom? The guy was a complete workaholic. Perhaps the truth is closer to how Bill Callahan imagined it...
Prince alone in the studio
It's two a.m. and all the girls are gone
The girls thought they were going to be able
To have sex with him
They wore their special underwear
Once the tracks were laid down
Prince's back turned around
Raspberry headphones on his head
On his ears
Prince alone in the studio
It's three a.m.
Prince hasn't eaten in eighteen hours
Dinner's burned on the stove
But Prince, he doesn't even know
Prince alone in the studio
It's four a.m.
And he finally gets that guitar track right
And it's better than anything any girl could ever give him
Actually, if you watch the video, that becomes even more likely... because the whole song is just a dream. It starts with Prince falling asleep in his dressing room, and ends with him waking up, looking sad, confused and alone.
I didn't know any of this when I was 15. All I knew was that Prince was cooler than any rock star I'd ever seen in my life. Three and a half decades later, that's still the case.
Ben: Great card. Mrs. Ben's always really great at birthday stuff so yesterday I asked her what would be my worst nightmare birthdays and she answered, "dinner with your family or a surprise party".
She was right.
I can't think of anything worse than a surprise party.
I like being able to leave a party.
To be the subject of a party would be horrible.
That's why Louise & I never got married.
Did you get anything nice?
Hold Steady CD. Coffee. David Gedge book.
Open Door Policy?
Good coffee?
"How I did the Wedding Present"?
Yeah x3.
One of the first bands I was in played a full set of Wedding Present covers once.
I imagine they all sounded pretty much the same.
No way. Jose.
And I think ODP is best Hold Steady album since Stay Positive.
I've only listened to it a couple of times online, but lyrically it has a bit more depth, like his solo stuff.
I can't remember which review but one said that it was only a matter of time before the solo stuff married with THS and it did it in the best way. They're never going to write another Boys and Girls but it's still great.
Expecting bands to live up to previous glories is always a recipe for disappointment.
And the lowest point will always be Finn's first solo album.
Yeah, that was a bit dull. The next two were great though.
His solo albums since that first one have been phenomenal.
Whilst Boys and Girls might be objectively the best, Separation Sunday is my choice.
Thank you. The only way that could have been better is if you swapped out Bolton for lovely Sally Phillips.
Why Sally Phillips? Random.
Because Sally Phillips is the only celebrity I have ever had a crush on. And it grows each and every day.
I hated Michael Bolton when I was younger. I used to quote Denis Leary whenever his name was mentioned.
(Leary did a routine in the 90s which culminated in the line "Bring me Michael Bolton's head on a stick". The internet has no reference to this though. Maybe I imagined it.)
It warms the cockles of my heart to see what his career has come to... and yet, I have a grudging respect for him doing that, as it shows he doesn't take himself too seriously.
When I was 12-15 I'd only listen to music that was recommended by Kerrang! And some of the heavier indie on MTV 2. But I had a copy of Leave Right Now by Will Young. And still think it's a great tune to this day. Now I don't have time to hate on people when they're good at what they do. Bolton knows what he is and I dig that he's comfortable with that.
I pretty much just hate Bono and the Gallaghers these days. Everyone else can just carry on with whatever they're doing and I'm happy.
I don't even think U2 like Bono. Adam Clayton writes stuff then fucks off whilst Bono records it.
I also strongly dislike (though not as much as Bono) The Hedge. Purely based on his name.
As much as I hate U2's music, I have a lot of respect for the Edge as a musician. He is very innovative and you can only understand just how good he is when you try to use delay. He's got a mastery over it.
Delay is what we used to use to stop people swearing on the radio. Presumably the Hedge uses it to stop people calling Bono a #@$* all the time.
There's four knobs on a delay pedal: ping (in milliseconds), volume, repeats, and decay. It repeats the notes and you alter how it deals with the input. Quite hard to get properly if using more than a simple scratch delay (think rockabilly).
There's 5 knobs on it if the Hedge is using it.
Some do have more options.
Trying to work out if you missed the joke on purpose.
Well, the Empress pedal has a fair few more...
I got my favourite album on vinyl for my birthday.
Curtis, 1970.
Ah yes, the Tony Curtis solo album. A classic. Not as good as Richard Harris.
He's everything Marvin Gaye wishes he was and everything that reporters claimed What's Going On was.
That's a very muso verdict. I think there's room for both, though Marvin did his best work as a straight pop star rather than when he was trying to be a serious artist.
One of the things I love about Prince is that he exclusively used Boss pedals.
Are you back on this again?
They're a set of solid, well built ones but each one is only at the £100 price point. He was just an excellent musician.
Later that afternoon, Ben received another delivery...
This you?
No, that's Bruce Springsteen. I can understand your confusion.
You know what I mean.
It's less a birthday present than a thank you for helping cling to the tattered remains of my sanity over the last 12 months.
That said, I appreciate there's a certain arrogance or vanity in sending someone a gift you like yourself, and it's a practice full of pitfalls, so I won't be upset if you don't like it.
However, there's a certain amount of vicarious pleasure attached , since I don't have a record player or any vinyl anymore.
Thus ends the sincerity. I'll go back to taking the piss now.
Thank you. I genuinely appreciate it. it's a thoughtful gift and I get the gesture.
Now for my taking the piss response. Wow. Project much?
If it makes you feel any better, you've been a help this year too.
I've actually got a gift for you lying around until the next physical time we were going to catch up. Let me know your new address and I'll send it over.
If it's The Dream of the Blue Turtles, you can keep it.
This week proved to be most problematic. Normally, I just put a number into the Search Title box on my music player and it gives me a clear list of all songs with that number in the title. When I did that for 19 though, I got thousands of songs - including all the year songs from the 20th Century, from 1901 to 1999, plus any Live recordings that featured a date (Live 1987) or similarly dated remixes (1996 remix). As such, finding songs that featured the number nineteen in the title became an impossible task. I kinda gave up and went by ones I could remember off the top of my head and your suggestions. Luckily, there were some crackers among those.
Bandwise, it proved similarly tricky. The 1975, 1990s and 1910 Fruitgum Company were all disqualified for having their 19 in the wrong place, and the only caveat I allowed for a dated 19 was that I would allow the year 1919. Fortunately, there was a postpunk band from Bradford with just that name...
Girl -19
Sadly, John, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, since putting the words "girl" and "19" into
a search engine led me nowhere. The only info I have is what you gave me...
I used to love this when I was, er, 19. It was their riposte to Alice Cooper's 18. Speaking of which...
Hold your horses, John, we'll get to next week soon enough.
OK, still before we get to the obvious choices, here's the few leftovers I managed to scrape from my hard-drive before the exercise became too futile...
To be honest, all three of those were in contention this week... along with the above-mentioned belter by The Courteeners... but it's Martin who takes the prize this week for recalling one of my favourite minor hits from the post-Britpop era, although lyrically it owes a debt to 70s singer songwriters such as Rupert Holmes... and a splash of Scott Walker to boot.
Next week we become adults at last... or do we? Your 18 suggestions are welcomed... and yes, I will allow the 18th Century to get a look in, as I'm hoping there are far fewer songs with dates in from that century than this one... and not many 18th century remixes or live recordings either.
I'm having a hard time finding anything positive to write about of late, which is adding to my blogging drought. Still, here's an excellent aid to the 3am woes, the latest album from Smog's Bill Callahan: a genuine spirit lifter. Not only has he written a song about the 1970s Incredible Hulk TV show*, but he also excels at the pithy lyrical couplet. Here's one example which will hopefully lift your spirits slightly too.
Back after exam-related delays, we turn to Number 37 on our countdown, illustrated by an album cover that will throw the fear of god into many of our resident musos, but I couldn't find any decent bands with 37 in their names, so sorry about that. Here's the title track from the above album, along with a choice selection of the lyrics... which may well have me agreeing with the musos for once.
When you kiss her goodnight 37 times That ain't nothin' but love
It might also be a bit annoying, Ricky... especially if she just wants to get in the house and watch Celebrity Love Island. Have some consideration, sir.
Jim in Dubai was next to arrive, with two very strong contenders from my own record collection...
Well, Simon le Bon stayed round my house before And he was sick on the plants and he was sick on the floor And he wouldn't go home until he'd sung his song With a backing harmony from Paul Young
However, I think we're all in agreement over what this week's winning song should be... even if there's some debate over which version is best. Lynchie recommended the Dr. Hook original while Charity Chic and Alyson preferred the Marianne Faithful cover. Alyson was correct in spotting that the track in question has already featured on this blog as one of my old Mid-Life Crisis Songs.
Here's both versions so you can decide amongst yourselves...
Division One is a League (even I know that, and I know nothing about football).
People are human (well, some of them).
This is the Redknapp (formerly Nurding) I was referring to...
(You've no idea how long it took me to find a picture of her where she wasn't just in her underwear. About as long as it took me to find a picture of The Human League where Phil Oakey wasn't instantly recognisable.)
3. The desperate enemy of ladies hits ice. Not as short as you think!
Desperate Dan
Enemy = Foe
Lady = Girl (or Gel)
Ice = Berg
Not as short as you think?
Lynchie really didn't want to admit to knowing this one,,, but he couldn't resist nudging C towards the answer.
Don't blame me if listening to this song sends you into a diabetic coma. However, it reminds me of an extremely foolish, if not entirely regretted, dalliance when I was young and very, very stupid...
It's been a year since he died and I still haven't quite come to terms with it. I accepted Bowie's death, I knew Leonard wasn't long for this world. George was a shock, but not entirely. Prince though...
Of all the artists we lost last year, Prince was the one I felt the hardest. For about a month after his death, I listened to little else but his back catalogue on repeat. He was one of the biggest superstars of my life. Many of the others had been recording long before I was born, but Prince started making music in my lifetime, created some of the most amazing records I ever heard... and then was taken far too soon. I wanted to honour that again, but since I've already compiled My Top Ten Prince Songs, here's the next best thing...
It did seem in the early 90s like the world might well be changing for the better. When Jesus Jones wrote this, they proclaimed Bob Dylan's dream was coming true...
I saw the decade in, when it seemed The world could change at the blink of an eye And if anything Then there's your Sign o' the Times
Guns don't kill people rappers do, From Bristol Zoo to B&Q, I want to rap, I want to rhyme Heard it in a song now I'm into gun crime, Its a sign of the times like Prince changin his name, Gotta have a shooter to be in the rap game, Like Michael Ryan about to snap, Guns don't kill people its just rap!
This is probably the first time I've featured Missy Elliott here, but I am a fan in small doses. I particularly like this one: always impressed by her ability to rap backwards. Wonder how she does that live?
You know Missy feel supa dupa Prince couldn't get me change my name, papa Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir Picture black sayin', "Oh, yessa, massa"
Beck's whole Midnite Vultures album was a huge departure from his earlier work and wears its Prince influence proudly. A lot of artists have been influenced by Prince musically, but this song also shows huge lyrical influence. It could be the b-side to Raspberry Beret. Speaking of which...
Eminem, the self-proclaimed "worst thing since Elvis Presley", rarely has a positive word to say about any other artist (except, maybe, Dr. Dre). But while he cheerfully puts the boot into NSYNCH, Limp Bizkit and Moby in this track, he really can't bring himself to say anything bad about Prince, using him instead as a comparison for how long Marshall Mathers spent writing songs before he got his break.
Bill Callahan's epic captures better than anything what made Prince a superstar. He was a perfectionist. He lived for his music, more than just about any other artist we've had in popular music. Not all of that music was perfect, but it was his life. More than food, more than sex, more than anything else... music was what mattered to him.
1. Prince - My Name Is Prince
And he is funky.
Of course, the irony of this song was: very soon after, he stopped calling himself Prince and changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol just to piss Warner Brothers off. We all had to call him TAFKAP for the next eight years. But he was always Prince in our hearts.
What could be more wholesome than a nice juicy peach? Unless you're a songwriter...
(Special mention to Peaches, Peaches & Herb and The Moldy Peaches.) Be warned: not all the peaches in this list will be fruit of the prunus persica tree. Some peaches may have an alternative meaning... remember Nicolas Cage's first time in Wild At Heart?
Merle (extra points for having a first name like Merle) Haggard (extra points for having a surname like Haggard) takes a tour of the southern United States at harvest time... with added self-pity.
When it's peach-picking time in Georgia Apple-picking time in Tennessee Cotton-picking time in Mississippi Everybody picks on me!
Finally got round to watching the first series of True Detective over Christmas. Very happy to see T. Bone Burnett chose a Handsome Family song as the show's theme tune. Experts at the fine art of murder balladry, this one would fit in very well on that show too...
Ahead of me ran Jackson Who took a bullet to the chest And beneath the swaying peaches Jackson slowly bled to death
With a band called The Front Bottoms, you're probably expecting pure filth from this track. But this is pretty much a love song... albeit one that goes a little vampiric halfway through.
In which Hugh Cornwell pops down his local beach to perv it up. Banned by the BBC in the same summer as The Sex Pistols were getting up all our safety-pinned noses with God Save The Queen, it's been claimed that the innuendo of Peaches was a savage critique of macho mores. Which is kind of like having your peach-melba and eating it.
At least with Prince you don't have to wonder if there's any innuendo going on... the purple one doesn't believe in innuendo. As ever, he's about as subtle as a giraffe.
Her hotpants can't hide her cheeks...
And yet, because it's so very, very funky, we let him get away with it.
1. Presidents of the United States of America - Peaches
The great thing about the Presidents' Peach song is that there's no metaphor here at all (I don't think): this is purely a song about peaches. Except the President of the Presidents, lead singer Chris Ballew, seems a little unclear about where peaches actually come from (i.e. someone puts them in that can, Chris). Worth watching the whole video as the band inexplicably get attacked by ninjas about two-thirds of the way through. When has that ever happened in a Coldplay video?
