Another Day #4: Toothache Day

Today is Toothache Day. I don't make these things up, you can google it if you don't believe me.

Here's an early classic from The Charlies...

The Charlatans - Toothache

Of a similar vintage, we find this...

Ned's Atomic Dustbin - Twenty Three Hour Toothache

Next, a fairy tale tune written by the wonderful Stephin Merritt of The Magnetic Fields... apparently it's from a movie soundtrack. The cast includes Blair Brown, Mia Maestro, Qian Yi, Mary Lou Rosato and 

Fiona Shaw... but the interweb doesn't appear to be able to tell me which of them are singing here.

Stephin Merritt - Auntie Toothache

Here's an atmospheric tune from Austin-based Americana band RF Shannon, led by songwriter Shane Renfro...

RF Shannon - Tooth Ache

Here's the wonderful Ezra Furman, always worth a listen...

Ezra Furman - My Teeth Hurt

And you can never go wrong with mid-90s Green Day either...

Green Day - Pulling Teeth 

Here's the weirdest thing you'll hear today. I picked this up in a charity shop. It wasn't a keeper, but I sold the CD on the bay of E for a tidy profit, so this band clearly has its fans...

Lard - Can God Fill Teeth?

(Nothing to do with Marc Riley, as far as I can tell.)

Possibly not about tooth ache, but I will take any excuse to play The Felice Brothers...

The Felice Brothers - Teeth In The Tabloids

Finally, here's a lovely little tune by LA singer-songwriter Sam Valdez...

Positive Songs For Negative Times #84: Bonoooooooo

Imagine the people of Ireland had a referendum to decide their all-time greatest pop hero.

Imagine that enough of them (not necessarily a majority) voted for Bono, and that he was thereby crowned Greatest Irish Pop Legend, despite the fact that a significant proportion of Irish residents would have rather given the award to Chris DeBurgh, Boyzone or even fucking Jedward - anyone but that unutterable gimp Paul Hewson.

Imagine you could only vote in this referendum if you were Irish, and that the rest of the world could only look on in horror, BUT... as a consequence of the result, every single person on the face of the planet was forced to see Bono's smug mush on TV every night for the next 5 years, and we all had to listen to at least one U2 album a week BY LAW.

I don't know why I dreamt all this last night. It must have been something I ate.

Here's Stephin Merritt and the Gothic Archies...

Celebrity Jukebox #82: Seymour Stein

Seymour Stein died on the 2nd of April, aged 80. Not a household name, but a hugely important man in the history of popular music. Without him, we might never have heard The Ramones. Or the Talking Heads. Or Madonna. The Pretenders. Ice T. Yeah, someone else might have signed them, but it might not have been someone with Stein's vision, and they might have fallen through the cracks as a result. I'm sure we can all think of a favourite artist who deserved to be as big as the names above, but who never had the right person to push them to the top. Stein also helped a lot of British bands break through in America, including The Cure, Depeche Mode, Echo & The Bunnymen and The Smiths. Although he wouldn't sign Belle & Sebastian. Which is why Stuart Murdoch wrote this...

Seymour Stein, I've been lonely

I caught a glimpse of someone's face

It was mine and I'd been crying

Half a world away

Ticket for a plane

Record company man

I won't be coming to dinner

I heard dinner went well

You liked Chris's jacket

He reminded you of Johnny

Before he went Electronic

Where else will we find Seymour Stein commemorated in song? Let's start with the arched eyebrow of Stephin Merritt...

You get signed to a major Top 40 label

Blow David Geffen, blow Seymour Stein

You can make an atrocious Top 40 record

No one will know in two weeks time

The 6ths - Rot In The Sun

Next up is John Wesley Harding, with a seasonal tune, but one that's too good to leave out...

Well, I flew to LA for the very first time

I met Howie Klein and Seymour Stein

They said, "Wes, we do this Christmas thing

And we get all the acts to sing"

I said, "What do you want?

You want a cover of Winter Wonderland or something?"

They said, "Do what you like"

John Wesley Harding - Talking Christmas Goodwill Blues

Rheostatics are considered one of the most influential Canadian rock bands, even though they never troubled the singles chart much. Forming in 1978, they eventually signed to Sire in the early 90s.

Hey, some folks like to dream

Of a stardom so obscene

With rocket cars and caviars and cream

Others like to dine

Eating out with Seymour Stein

His bondage-roping, toilet-groping dream

Talk about biting the hand that feeds!

Rheostatics - I Dig Music

Another Canadian musician now... but one who's got slightly less chance of being signed if this drivel is anything to go by. (I'm guessing he's being ironic.)

Rich Aucoin - Please Give This To Seymour Stein

The Pocket Gods might have stood more of a chance... if they could have written any songs that were longer than 45 seconds. (Then again, what do I know - maybe that's the TikTok future.)

The Pocket Gods - Seymour Stein

Although Belle & Sebastian were today's obvious winner, I was also rather taken by this track by Florida indie band Surfer Blood. So let's close with them today...

Roll your sleeves to show off your tattoos

He's great friends with Seymour Stein, I never knew

Master reels from Zeppelin I and II

Once the Kraken has been fed then everything's cool

And breathe... #1: Nothing But Love

Given the current length of Tuesday's posts, I decided to try giving you all a breather on a Wednesday. Hence this new feature in which I try to write as little as possible to introduce a tune. (I've already gone way over my target word count, but this is the pre-amble. It doesn't count.)

My old friend Sally got in touch the other week and recommended Scott Fagan. She thought I may already be familiar with him, but I wasn't. This record is a bit of a lost classic apparently, "a mystical, mythical and deeply soulful masterpiece" from a songwriter who was discovered and mentored by the great songwriting duo of Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman. Tipped to be bigger than Elvis, but faded away into obscurity almost immediately. Years later he was revealed to be the surprise biological father of Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields.

There's a lot more to that story, but I was supposed to be keeping it brief...

(Sigh. There goes another failed feature.)

My Top Twenty of 2020: #8

 

I've banged on about my love of Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Fields plenty of times over the years, so I figured I'd let someone else persuade you to give his latest record a listen.

Here's Bruce Springsteen, a quote taken directly from his radio show...

"Stephin is one of our best American composers and songwriters, and if you haven’t gotten into his music, you owe it to yourself to check it out."

'Nuff said.

And here's a song we could all sing along to in 2020...

My Top Ten 'How To...' Songs

Pop bands, eh? They're an endless source of wisdom for those of us struggling to negotiate the perilous rapids of L-I-F-E. If they weren't writing hit (and non-hit) songs, they'd be writing self-help books. Here's a sampling of the 'How To...' advice I've received throughout my listening years...


10. Everclear - How To Win Friends & Influence People

I love Everclear, but really...

It's a beautiful day, yeah
If you look up in the air, you can see the sky
It's a beautiful day, yeah
If you stare at the sun, you would burn your eyes

 It's hardly Dale Carnegie, is it?

9. The Fray - How To Save A Life

One of those big, earnest piano-rock ballads that could be Coldplay... but isn't, so we can just about cope with it. Can't we?

8. Future Bible Heroes - How To Get Laid In Japanese 

Good old Stephin Merrit, translating his chat-up best lines into Japanese so we don't have to. Not that I'd pay him much attention: his success rate can't be that good, based on this song from his other band, The Magnetic Fields.

7. ABC - How To Be A Millionaire

Of all the advice offered in this list, this could definitely be the most important. Unfortunately, Martin Fry has little in the way of answers.

6. Luke Haines - How To Hate The Working Classes

Dressed like that you're gonna get roughed up
You're like a benefit scrounger in a fun pub
I'll meet you on the corner of Amherst Road
Let's start a party of our own

 Don't worry, Luke hates the middle and upper classes just as much.

5. Band of Horses - How To Live

From their brand new album, Mirage Rock, the Horsemen show us how to write another beautiful slab of harmonic Americana. And they make it look so easy.

4. The Pernice Brothers - How To Live Alone

Surviving isn't enough for Joe Pernice. This longtime Smiths fan is struggling to find a way to get through all on his own-some.

Keep a foot out of the blacker end
Keep away the crush of years
But we prayed too hard and everything was ordinary
A life without the bitterness of years

3. The Melting Ice-Caps - How To Appear Well-Adjusted

Have a shower every day of the week

and look as if you mean it.

Gentlemen should keep their stubble short

and so should ladies.

Take the papers given out in the street;

sit yourself on the bus.

Turn the pages like the words hold any meaning.

Smile and say hello to all your colleagues,

sometimes stop to talk.

Steer the conversation clear of dangerous topics.

Count to ten before you send that email

or post an angry blog,

and if it’s already gone, be prepared to grovel.

That’s how to seem as if you’re a normal person,

how to look all right,

how to seem convincing and well-adjusted.

We are the experts, so we ought to know.

2. Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely

Something we all must feel like doing every now and then, Thom Yorke more than most. 

1. Elvis Costello - How To Be Dumb

The album Mighty Like A Rose contains some of my favourite Costello lyrics. The only advice he has to offer in this song though is How To Be A Misanthrope. And who needs any help with that?

Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Whose ever bad intention has been purged
You could've walked out any time you wanted but 
Face it, you didn't have the courage
I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite 
Or some kind of twisted dilettante
Funny though, people don't usually get so ugly 
Till they think they know what they want
Scratch your own head stupid
Count up to three
Roll over on your back
Repeat after me

Don't you know how to be dumb?
Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?
Don't you know how to be dumb?
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes.

My advice to you: leave a comment now.