Snapshots #216: A Top Ten Songs About Brazil

Look, this was the first thing I found when I put "Brazilian celebrities with cameras" into Google, OK. If I could have found a picture of Pele holding a camera, he would have been here instead of Gisele.

Honest.

10. Vadim's villain.

The villain in Roger Vadim's movie Barbarella was... Durand Durand.

Duran Duran - Rio

Condemning the 80s with one single video.

9. Half a drum, half a Scottish sunbeam.

Half a Tom Tom... plus a Mc-Ray.

Tom McRae - São Paulo Rain

8. Will Pakistan get zebras, Trudy wonders? The answers lie within.

The image above is, as revealed by Walter, Alain Delon and Romy Schneider, who have nothing to do with Brazil... though they did feature prominently in an image search for these guys...

Will PakiSTAN GET ZebrAS, TRUDy wonders?

Stan Getz & Astrud Gilberto - The Girl From Ipanema

Amazingly, despite having done this quiz for over 4 years, that's only the third time I've posted a wrong picture.

7. They sound like silly Scots.

Guillemots rhymes with Silly Scots... doesn't it?

Guillemots - Trains To Brazil

6. Good bee lost in window doors.

The Good Bee would be Johnny, as in Johnny B. Goode.

"winDOW Doors"

Johnny Dowd - Maybe Brazil

5. There's no end to this Beach Boy after he joins a big band.

Mike Love was the Beach Boy.

The Love Unlimited Orchestra - Brazilian Love Song

(With Barry conducting, obviously.)

4. Airblown Mary.

Anagram!

Barry Manilow - Copacabana

Although it's named after the Brazilian beach, the Copacabana nightclub can't be in Brazil, since it's the hottest spot north of Havana. I'm not brilliant at Geography, but even I can work that one out.

3. Mad king steps down the peer.

Mad King George goes down the peerage to become a Duke.

George Duke - Brazilian Love Affair

2. Barbed conductor.

Wire is a conductor. That's how we get electricity into our homes. It can also be barbed.

Wire - Brazil

1. Lithe mechanism.

Anagram!

Michael Nesmith - Rio

Join me next Saturday for a Bündchen more Snapshots...

My Top Ten Karaoke Songs

I've never done karaoke. Not because of any muso-snobbery on my part, merely because I guess I hang out with people who wouldn't be seen dead in a karaoke contest. The frustrated pop star in me regrets this quite a lot. Maybe I ought to start a sad, middle-aged bucket-list and put karaoke at the top of the list, rather than sky diving or bungee jumping.


Anyway, here's ten songs about singing someone else's songs badly over a tinny backing track...


10. Maxïmo Park - Karaoke Plays

Someone gets run down
Karaoke plays somewhere in the background,
But there is no explanation
What makes a grown man cry?
Karaoke plays and someone gets run down

That's probably pretty deep if you think about it.

9. Tom McRae - Karaoke Soul

This guy was on the verge of making it big back in the early 00s. Not sure why he didn't.

8. Kate Nash - Karaoke Kiss

I got a renewed respect for Kate Nash following her performance in the Netflix show GLOW, so I was pleased to see she had a new record out. This is a pretty fine cut from that...

7. The Haywains - Kill Karaoke

I owe Brian a big thank you for introducing me to this lot.

6. Catatonia - Karaoke Queen

Whenever I listen to old Catatonia songs, I lament the fact that Cerys packed in the day job.

5. Jimmy Buffett & Toby Keith - Too Drunk To Karaoke

The very definition of a marmite song, depending entirely on whether you consider Jimmy Buffett a loveable old doofus... or just a doofus.

4. Bennet - Karaoke / Younger Younger 28's - Karaoke Queen / Speedy - Karaoke King

Three long-forgotten Britpop and post-Britpop bands for the price of one: all of them far more interesting than Oasis. Particularly Younger Younger 28's - why weren't they massive? All worth a listen if you dig that era.

3. Ben Folds - Hiro's Song

I wanna explode in

A karaoke supernova...

...so much more interesting than a champagne one.

2. Elbow - Grounds For Divorce

Any excuse to play this, Elbow's rockiest moment... with a Costello-esque venom to the lyrics.

There's this whispering of jokers doing flesh by the pound

To a chorus of supposes from the little town whores

There'll be twisted karaoke at the Aniseed Lounge

And I'll bring you further roses

But it does you no good

And it does me no good

And it does you no good

1. Blur - The Universal

Gonna have to give the crown to Blur, for probably their finest hour after Song 2 (and certainly their most optimistic)... even though they disgraced themselves somewhat by letting it be used in a British Gas ad campaign. Surely you didn't need the money that much, Damon?

Every night we're gone

And to karaoke songs

How we like to sing a long

Although the words are wrong

 

It really, really, really could happen

Yes, it really, really, really could happen

When the days they seem to fall through you, well just let them go

Never really thought the Clockwork Orange video did the song justice, but here it is anyway...



Ever done karaoke? What did you sing?

My Top Ten End of the World Songs

This may well be the last Top Ten you ever read...


10. UB40 - The Earth Dies Screaming 

Half eaten meals lie rotting on the tables,
Money clutched within a boney hand.
Shutters down, the banks are not receiving,
The earth dies screaming.

One of their best songs. Not one of their most cheerful.

9. Tom McRae - End of the World News (Dose Me Up)

This is the End of the World News... Sponsored by God. (Well, it's got to be better than Joop Homme, anyway.)

8. Elvis Costello - Waiting For The End of the World

Elvis gets stuck on a train and goes all Mayan on our arses.

Dear Lord I sincerely hope you're coming
'Cause you really started something.

7. The Handsome Family - If the World Should End in Fire 

For those of you who prefer a colder option, they also recorded a version called If The World Should End In Ice. (Though it's not available on youtube.)

6. The Cure - End of the World

Every day is the end of the world for Robert Smith.

5. Noah & The Whale - L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

A slightly more optimistic take on The Last Night On Earth, from the excellent album of the same name.

4. The The - Armageddon Days Are Here

The world will end in a clash of religions, thinks Matt Johnson. This was released back in 1989, but very little has changed.

See also Armageddon It by Def Leppard. Are you geddin' it?

3. Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around

There's a man going around taking names
And he decides who to free and who to blame
Everybody won't be treated all the same
There'll be a golden ladder reaching down
When the Man comes around

2. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - (I'll Love You) Till the End of the World

I can't think of anyone better to narrate the end of the world. If you don't fancy looking out your window today, just listen to this and let Nick describe what's happening out there for you...

1. REM - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Some Number One's are inevitable. Although, knowing Michael Stipe, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the End Times, it's probably the recipe for a cake he was making that night or something. 

That's great it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes and aeroplane
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves it's own needs, dummy serve your own needs

Then bake for three hours or until golden brown.





So, that's what I'll be listening to as it all goes down. What's the last song on your playlist?