Snapshots #419 - Legs & Feet Songs

This is Betty Grable. You can't see her legs, but she had them insured for a million bucks. That was back when a million bucks was worth something.

Here are ten songs that go below the waistline...

15. I'm sick of quiche for tea - and so is Woody!

Flan again, mum? 

Flanagan & Allen - Underneath The Arches

14. Second Greatest Showman and Sex Machine unite.

The Greatest Showman starred Hugh Jackman. His sidekick in that movie was Zac Efron. James Brown was the sex machine.

Zac Brown Band - Toes

13. They mate for life - and never stray too far.

Lobsters mate for life - according to Phoebe in Friends, anyway.

Close Lobsters - Knee Trembler

12. Trump had one... so did Babel.

Tower Of Power - What Is Hip?

I'm sure there will be some debate as to whether the hip bone is too high up the body, but the thigh bone is connected to it, so I'm using that as my excuse.

11. Introducing Michael Knight’s car!

As I'm sure you're all aware, Michael Knight drove the Knight Industries Two Thousand... KITT.

This Is The Kit - Creeping Up Our Shins

10. You know you want to!

The Persuaders - Thigh Spy

Might save that one for the CCCC.

9. The Holly and… another famous Plant.

Holly Johnson, not Ivy. And Robert Plant.

Robert Johnson – Milkcow’s Calf Blues

8. In a tangle? Learn how to Offset Arrears.

"Offset Arrears" was an anagram.

Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels

And he'd be arrested for harassing that librarian in this day and age.

7. Napoleon, perhaps?

Was Napoleon France's Nero? Well, they were both Emperors...

Frances Nero - Footsteps Following Me

6. Found inside puzzling octopuses.

PuZZling ocTOPuses.

ZZ Top - Legs

Another one for the Committee.

5. Scott & T-Bone hit the road.

Scott and T-Bone Walker hit the Street.

Streetwalkers - Toenail Draggin'

4. Sensible, Wellington, Attack.

Captain Sensible, Beef Wellington, Heart Attack...

Captain Beefheart - I Wanna Find a Woman That'll Hold My Big Toe Till I Have To Go

3. Half a Catwoman makes a cake...

Julie Newmar was a Catwoman. Half of that is Julie N. A baker makes cakes.

Julien Baker – Sprained Ankle

2. The Portia VAT leaves you flummoxed.

"Portia VAT" was an anagram...

Pavarotti – O Sole Mio

1. You’re always on the run now.

Lyrics from Gloria by Laura Branigan.

If Ernie guessed the link yesterday in double quick time, it may well be that the idea was already in his head.

When he emailed me with the idea for last week's SS, he mentioned he'd been trying to put together a Legs and Feet Snapshots, but went with the Left Right one instead. I almost replied, "Glad you did - because I've got a Legs & Feet Snapshots ready to go... and then I thought, "D'oh, if you do that, you'll give him the answer!" So I kept schtum. But great minds and all that...

More of this nonsense next week...

 

Snapshots #256: A Top Ten Chicken Songs

Ten clucking songs about chickens... or chicks, at least.

They all taste like chicken to me...

10. Head of the Family.

Charles Manson was the leader of the cult known as The Family.

Mansun - Take It Easy, Chicken

9. Join arms with Charles and Sugar.

He links arms with Ray Charles and Sugar Ray.

Link Wray - Run, Chicken, Run

8. When you go back in time forty years, head straight for the toy car catastrophe. 

Matchbox Cars have a disaster in the 80s... and you must make a beeline to it.

The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Chicken

(Look, you come up with a clue for that tosh.)

7. Monthly confusion in the springtime.

April March - Chick Habit

6. Take Prozac for your Monobrow now! And find the answer within.

Take Prozac for your Monobrow now!

The Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried

5. First lady of the Bread family.

Eve was the first lady. And, as discussed on Wednesday, the sitcom Bread, created by Carla Lane, featured the Boswell Family.

Eve Boswell - Pickin' A Chicken 

4. Protect the Queen!

Bees protect their queen.

The Bees - Chicken Payback

One for RadMac listeners.

3. A small accomplishment.

Little Feat - Dixie Chicken

2. The Wizard Who travelled from there to Brighton.

From The Who's Pinball Wizard...

From Soho down to Brighton

I must have played them all

Soho - Hippy Chick

Even after 31 years, I'm still not sure what I think about that. But I'm more forgiving now than I was in 1991.

1. Stomach pains.

If you're going to sing about a chicken, at least have the decency to do a proper chicken impression...

The Cramps - Chicken

Unless I chicken out, there'll be more of this nonsense next Saturday.

My Top Ten Walking Away Songs

Don't you just hate those people who introduce you to their record collections saying, "yes, I have a very eclectic taste in music"? Well, I'm gonna do just that this week. Sometimes these top tens come together with such a delightful blend of genres... I feel quietly proud of myself. And you should hear some of the songs I left out! Come on, allow me a little hubris for once... don't walk away just yet.

Special mention to Juliana Hatfield for her instructional album, How To Walk way.


10. Cast - Walkaway

I have a bit of a downer on Cast. Britpop-by-numbers, my abiding memory of the band is seeing them play live at a festival back in their fifteen minutes; the onstage electric went out and John Power piped up, comedy Scouse, "'Ey - 'ave we not paid the 'leccy meter?"

But this is a lovely little song despite my prejudices. And I still prefer them to Oasis.

9. The Zac Brown Band featuring Alan Jackson - As She's Walking Away

A song about falling in love with a girl at first sight and doing absolutely nothing about it. Because, as Elton once sang, it's easier to walk away.

Pretty much sums up my teenage years and most of my 20s. Sadly, I never had Alan Jackson to give me his neat-moustached advice.

8. Black Sabbath - Walk Away

And this is why they call it Classic Rock.

7. Franz Ferdinand - Walk Away

I love the sound of you walking away... 

...is a great kiss off, and there's more to come as Alex Kapranos nicks Morrissey's poison pen...

And as you walk away
My headstone crumbles down
As you walk away
The Hollywood winds will howl
As you walk away
The Kremlin's falling
As you walk away
Radio Four is static

One reason why FF are a fantastic foursome.

(And yeah, I almost went a week without mentioning the M word. Sorry.)

6. Sisters of Mercy - Walk Away

To appreciate this fully, you have to watch the video. Andrew Eldritch: sunglasses, hair, glittery dance... and a voice like Satan serenading sea lions.

5. The King Blues - Walking Away

I miss The King Blues since they split. I know Johnny Itch is still doing his own thing, but this band burned very brightly while they were around. Like Billy Bragg, they had two sides: the angry young men & women (angrier, at times, than Billy ever got) and the sweet-hearted romantics. This is firmly in the latter camp, a gorgeous little bus stop romance. Goes nicely as an accompaniment to my number #2 song this week.  

4. Tom Waits - Walk Away

From the soundtrack to the Sean Penn / Susan Sarandon film Dead Man Walking, it's time for Tom to walk away and start all over again. Nice and jaunty. (There's a word I'm not sure I ever typed before. It looks weird on the screen.)

3. ELO - Don't Walk Away

Classic Jeff Lynne orchestral melodrama, sounding more like the Bee Gees than the Beatles on this one.

2. Billy Bragg - Walk Away, Renee (version)

A version, but not a cover, though Billy does get Johnny Marr to strum the tune from our number one song while narrating a tender, touching and beautifully funny tale of first love left behind. So many great lines, I never tire of listening to this.

But all love is strange
And you have to learn to take the crunchy with the smooth, I suppose

She began going out with Mr. Potato Head
It was when I saw her in the car park
With his coat around her shoulders that I realised
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bathwater went cold around me
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And about the point where their bodies met
I confronted her about it
I said, "I'm the most illegible bachelor in town!" and she said "Yeah that's why I
could never understand any of those silly letters you sent me"

And then one day it happened
She cut her hair and I stopped loving her.

1. The Four Tops - Walk Away, Renee

The original version of this song, by The Left Banke, is a very fine record indeed. But it doesn't quite stop my heart in the same way Levi Stubbs' vocal does. This is heartbreak at its finest, pure and simple. One of Motown's greatest recordings... which makes it one of the best pop singles ever. No hyperbole.




Before you walk away... leave a comment, won't you?