Some time ago, I put together a Top Ten Songs About Bad Women. It's been awhile coming, but here's ten about bad blokes... or what makes us bad.
10. Curve - Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus
And we won't be happy till we kill each other, apparently. Always good to start cheerfully...
9. Rosemary Clooney & Marlene Dietrich - (Men Are) Good For Nothing
Rosemary and Marlene haven't met a good man yet...
8. Jefferson Airplane - Milk TrainHe will swear he's seeking
Your love for ever more
And then he comes home reeking
Of perfume you never woreYou'll maybe wanna shoot him
But he isn't worth the shot
And you can bet the other woman
Has found out he's not so hot
You know that old "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" guff? Here's what Grace Slick makes of that...
Some men just talk me dry7. Babybird - All Men Are Evil
Some men are just liquid in the mind.
Some men are absolutely rigid
Some men are easy feeling but they're hard to find.
Not really sure what Stephen Jones is getting at it, but it's typically bitter.
6. Neil Diamond - Men Are So Easy
When Neil Diamond speaks, I listen...
A boy becomes a man5. Beulah - A Good Man Is Easy To Kill
And in the time he learns to stand
He finds a way to build a wall
To hide behind if he should fall
He grows to be a man
And show the world that he can stand
Not knowing fear
Or even pain while
Underneath when you look deep
A boy remains
Yeah, we've all met a few blokes like this...
When they drilled holes in your skull4. Aztec Camera - How Men Are
And screwed that halo to your head
Did you think you could fly?
Why should it take the tears of a woman to see how men are?
3. Nick Lowe - All Men Are Liars
Nick is of the opinion that our words are worth no more than worn out tyres. Furthermore, he has something to add about Rick Astley...
Well, do you remember Rick Astley?Dar Williams does a great of this too, but I couldn't find it on youtube.
He had a big fat hit, it was ghastly.
He said I'm never gonna give you up or let you down.
Well I'm here to tell ya that Dick's a clown.
Though he was just a boy when he made that vow,
I'd bet it all that he knows by now:
All men are liars...
2. Jimmy Webb - What Does A Woman See In A Man?
So what does the godlike genius of Jimmy Webb reckon about men...?
He stinks to high heaven, half covered with hairAnd that's just the beginning!
And grunts just like some old orang-utan
While she smells of clean skin and a trace of jasmine
And speaks like a first rate librarian
His stomach hangs out, there's a hump on his back
He eats like Conan the Barbarian
While she keeps herself trim, and her posture is prim
Her manners are quite cosmopolitan
He laughs like a donkey and farts in the bed
And flips cigarettes in the can
But she always acts nice, with no visible vice
Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?
1. Grand Popo FC - Men Are Not Nice Guys
Leave it to those crazy French to sum up the biggest problems with blokes...
Drinks, finks, football and drugs,Business suits and newspapers, arguments, work, cable TV.Laziness, cars, lungs, size... don't you know what girls say sometimes?Men are not nice guys...although we can probably think of a few bigger ones, if we try.
Then again, nice guys finish last, don't they? And all the good girls love a bad boy. Really, none of us can win...