The Neverending Top Ten normally involves posts about my son, but today it's about my mum. Tomorrow will be her 90th birthday. She was born June 30th, 1928. Imagine everything she's seen since then.
This is going to be a pretty short tribute, but my mum is the best. Despite failing eyesight and hearing, I've never heard her complain. She is always happy and positive and has the best sense of humour of anyone I know. She is kind and generous, selfless: she always puts her family before herself. She loves a good gossip, and winding my dad up. She's had a tough year, losing her best friend a few weeks back, but she remains positive and always looks on the bright side. I love her more than I could ever tell her. I hope she knows that.
Happy birthday, Mum. I tried to think of a song you might like, but you've never really been too bothered about that whole pop music malarkey. Still, you always liked a bit of Elvis...
This is actually a repost from my old blog, originally posted back in 2010. It was requested by Martin - probably the only person (apart from JC) who remembers the old blog. Anyway, Martin posted a link relating to one of the shows on this list recently and it seemed a good time to dust this off... particularly as I'm on holiday this week so had to pre-prepare all my posts.
When I originally decided to compile a list of my favourite TV themes, it quickly became apparent that these break down into two distinct categories - those with vocals, and those without. So I did a list for each. I may have to revise the vocals one before reposting it (if anyone's interested) as I don't agree with all my original choices now, but I'm pretty happy with the list below so I think I'll leave it as it is.
It should go without saying (except this is the internet, and you can't ever be too careful) that this isn't a list of my favourite TV shows. In fact, there's only one show here which would get on that list... wonder if you can guess which? On the other hand, my all-time favourite TV show has a theme tune that sounds like someone from Stomp banging a bunch of dustbin lids together... so there's no correlation between a great theme tune and a great TV show.
The majority of my favourite theme tunes hail from the 70s and 80s. One or two are from even further back. What does that tell us? Theme tunes were much better when we were kids... even if TV shows weren't. (Or maybe some of them were... but most of the ones on this list have aged pretty badly and can only be viewed with a nostalgic eye these days.)
At the time of compiling this list, I suggested a few runners-up, including The Avengers, Blakes 7, Dallas, Dr. Who , Star Trek and Starsky & Hutch. I think I should have included Taxi on that list too. I can't think of any memorable TV themes from the last 10 years or so... but that may be because I fast-forward through the credits on most shows I watch these days. The TV theme tune is a lost artform then, and these were some of the greats...
Harry South's theme to The Sweeney spells out the name of the show musically. "The Sweeney - the Sweeney - doo doodoo doo doodoo... etc." A number of Hammer Horror films used the same technique, as did The Return Of The Saint and the "Tucker Jenkins" motif from the end of the Grange Hill theme. "Shut it!"
Was there ever a sadder image than poor old 'David'* Banner shrugging his backpack over his shoulder and walking out of town, thumbing a lift while nobody stops? That was all down to Joe Harnell's Lonely Man Theme, which closed The Incredible Hulk every week.
(*They called him David, not Bruce, on TV, allegedly because the producers thought Bruce sounded "too gay". Ah, the 70s: the decade when offensiveness became an artform.)
My love of Lalo Schifrin's Mission Impossible music was tainted slightly when Tom Cruise and those muppets from U2 got hold of it. Still, if I close my eyes and picture Peter Graves and Martin Landau, everything's all right.
The only problem with the A Team theme is that it takes so long to get going. Yes, I know we need that famous talky bit first, but hurry up with the nobody-gets-hurt car chases already! The first Mike Post theme on this list...
...followed immediately by the second Mike Post theme on this list.
I took piano lessons for almost ten years, but I was never very good. The theme to Hill Street Blues was one of the only things I could ever really play. And that's easy! Simple, but effective - and quite unlike most other cop shows of its time. Let's be careful out there...
Three Mike Post theme tunes in a row! The man is a genius. This was a Top 10 hit in the States back in 1975.
When I was a kid, Jim Rockford's answering machine seemed like the ultimate in futuristic, high-tech innovation. You just know that if they ever do a remake, Jim's gonna be on Twitter.
TC's helicopter swooping down over a crystal blue sea, the smirk on Tom Selleck's face, Higgins being a prissy English cliche... the Magnum theme tune conjures up so many memories. There's a lot going on in this theme - it's like three tunes in one. I'm also convinced the Manic Street Preachers nicked one of them.
Possibly one of the most iconic TV themes ever recorded - and yet it's so simple. "Doo-doo doo-doo..." has entered the cultural language in the same way as the "der-der der-der" from Jaws. I reckon there's people who "doo doo doo doo" and they've never even seen The Twilight Zone. Which is a crying shame. Because it's still brilliant, even after all these years.
The theme was written by Bernard Herrmann, the man responsible for many of Hitchcock's most famous film themes (including North By North West, Vertigo and eek!eek!eek!eek! Psycho).
1. Hawaii Five-0
The prime example of a theme tune that transcends its show. What else do you remember about Hawaii Five-0? "Book 'im, Danno!" If you ever find yourself watching this show again, you're almost certain to find it deathly dull. But that theme tune - even forty years on, it's one of the most exciting things I've ever heard coming out of a television set.
I've never seen the remake - perhaps it's a much better TV show. Apparently they originally tried a different version of the theme tune on that but quickly decided that you don't mess with perfection and got some of the original session musicians back in the studio to re-record it exactly as it originally was... only shorter, for the shorter attention spans of today's TV audiences.
This theme was written by Morton Stevens, a former musical director for the Rat Pack. Unlike Mike Post and Bernard Herrmann though, he appears to be a bit of a One Hit Wonder in the theme tune stakes. Still, as I always say, if you're only gonna have one hit... make it a belter!
It's almost four years since I named Stay Gold, the last album by First Aid Kit, as my album of the year... so it's fair to say my anticipation and expectations for their follow-up were stratospheric.
Ruins is a lovely record, complete with the usual mix of angelic harmonies and timeless Laurel-Canyon-via-Stockholm folk. The album dwells on heartbreak and loss, yet makes it all sound so beautiful you almost wish you were experiencing those emotions too. When I'm listening to it, I cannot fault it. Klara and Johanna even get to indulge their Stevie Nicks fantasies on Rebel Heart.
So why do I know this won't be my favourite album of 2018?
Is it because the production sounds a little bit too polished, as the record company clearly push them towards a Radio 2 mainstream?
Is it because, lyrically, the themes of loss and heartbreak don't quite resonate with me in the same way Stay Gold's themes did? (At the time, I said: "It's a record about growing old, about happiness being fleeting, about not knowing what you've got till it's gone... and yes, Joni would approve.")
Or is it because once a band has reached perfection, and my unrealistic expectations are for more of the same (an impossibility, since perfection itself is fleeting) or even better (no chance!), they can only really disappoint me?
Maybe a little bit of all those things, but don't let that put you off. There's much to be enjoyed here. I've been listening to Ruins on and off since February and haven't grown tired of it yet.
Whitey Morgan & The 78s (worth a dabble if you like a bit of Americana) welcome you to the latest edition of the Hot 100 Countdown as we reach number seventy eight... a number for which, once I'd discounted songs about 1978, there were two clear contenders.
We'll get to those in a moment. First though, your suggestions...
Martin was first out of the gate with something which would have been a clear winner had this been about 1978...
Rigid Digit was among those suggesting today's winner, but he also offered a couple more sterling contenders that live right next to each other in all our record collections. This...
The winner though? Obvious, it seems. Suggested first by Lynchie, then seconded by just about everybody else.
My other half went to uni with the lead singer of Gomez. Her only memory of him is that he was "a bit full of himself", which I guess goes with the territory if you're gonna be a pop singer. However, I'd back this up by saying that the one time I saw Gomez play live in the late 90s, they spoiled a perfectly fine gig by not knowing when to finish and doing about 27 encores like they were James Brown or someone with a lot more than just one half-decent album to go at. We left at about encore five, but for all I know they carried on all night. They'd probably still be doing the show today if the venue in question hadn't been knocked down 15 years ago.
Anyway...
Next week... 77. Any suggestions gratefully received.
You may be one of those people who claims not to love / like / get Tom Waits. I dunno. I know such people are out there. Some of them are even people whose opinions on other matters I respect greatly.
But really...
I mean, really...
How could you not love this?
Frank settled down in the Valley And he hung his wild years On a nail that he drove through His wife's forehead. He sold used office furniture Out there on San Fernando Road And assumed a $30,000 loan At 15¼% and put a down payment On a little two bedroom place. His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash Made good bloody marys, Kept her mouth shut most of the time Had a little Chihuahua named Carlos That had some kind of skin disease And was totally blind. They had a Thoroughly modern kitchen Self-cleaning oven (the whole bit), Frank drove a little sedan. They were so happy.
One night Frank was on his way home From work, stopped at the liquor store, Picked up a couple Mickey's Big Mouths Drank 'em in the car on his way To the Shell station. He got a gallon of Gas in a can, drove home, doused Everything in the house, torched it. Parked across the street, laughing, Watching it burn, all Halloween Orange and chiminey red. Then Frank put on a top forty station Got on the Hollywood Freeway. Headed north.
(And they gave Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize for Literature!?)
Yesterday, all the answers seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay...
Due to holidays in the sun, I can't award points in the post today, but I'll try to congratulate the winners in the comments section later (wifi permitting).
10. The sound of double strength executives. I can do a pretty good William Shatner.
Today we have reportedly one of the grumpiest men in show-business, from being a churlish young-whipper snapper right through to the miserable old cur he is now... though I'm never quite sure what he has to be so grumpy about. He keeps churning out the records and folk keep buying them.
6. Van Morrison
Here's a track that might explain much, from way, way back in 1995 - that's 23 years ago, old folks - when Van The Man was a mere strip of a lad at just 49 years of age. Maybe you can relate to it...
Have to make some concessions when everything is working right
Have to count my blessings, helps me make it through the night
I've got love in my life as well as trouble and strife
And we're back - with songs featuring specific (rather than generic) dinosaurs. Thanks for your suggestions... even with them, this week's Top Ten proved a lot trickier than expected. Probably because dinosaurs don't obviously rhyme with anything else - except other dinosaurs. Unless you're Prince. Anyway, these may not be the best ten tunes I've ever featured, but they do all feature specific dinosaurs. No Triceratops or diplodocuses though, sadly.
I'll grudgingly put this at #10, because I never really got Kasabian... or velociraptors. I was convinced when Jurassic Park first came out that they were just a figment of Michael Crichton had made up. Seriously, had you ever heard of a velociraptor before then?
I'm presuming this is their tribute to Marc Bolan... but it could be about an actual T-Rex. Always hard to tell when it comes to Ash songs - they could be about anything. Nice noise though.
The Swede offered Hit & Run, with lots of dinosauric lyrics to choose from, including a bit about "Pterodactyls flying round my attic"... but surely I can trump that with Psyclone…?
Pterodactyl, Brontosaurus Tyrannosaurus Rex gather around The sound of thunder now awaits us A meteorite is coming on down
I made some good friends during my time in radio. Most of whom I've long since lost touch with, as we do with those people who come in and out of our lives via work. One of them was J., a presenter I worked with for a time on the Saturday morning show. He was a little bit wacky, I guess, but in a sarcastic way I kind of appreciated. Not an annoying disc jockey way... even though he was a disc jockey, and some people no doubt found him annoying. He was very quick-witted when dealing with callers (he would occasionally fill in on the phone-in show when the regular presenter was on holiday) but never nasty. He had a cat called Bostik, in the same way Tony Blackburn had a dog called Arnold. He always made me laugh.
The other odd thing about J. was that he lived on a boat. A sail boat (not a yacht). Just like Jack Klugman in Quincy, M.E. This always seemed extremely exotic to me, though I'm not sure how his girlfriend put up with it. One weekend, he invited me sailing and we took his boat out of Hull marina and sailed it under the Humber Bridge. It was my only experience of sailing - good fun, but pretty exhausting. (You have to duck a lot.)
I haven't seen J. in almost 20 years, I guess, but I was pleased to see he's still working in radio when I googled him... although he's obviously moved darn sarth since we lost touch. I hope he's doing OK. When I think of him, this song always comes to mind...
