Apologies for the late start. It's a Leap Year thing. That's my excuse, anyway.
Greetings, Reservoir Dogs and Inglourious Basterds. It's time for Saturday Snapshots again. Your job this morning is not to Kill Bill, but to identify the ten top tunes below and tell me who sang them.
Beware... at least 8 of these clues may well be hateful...
10. Can the third sequel ever be the best? Uncanny!
9. Loin zip, you dig?
8. Sounds like Mrs. McC moved in with a Trotter. Also sounds like a Minder.
7. Set fire to your nemesis.
6. She keeps my toothbrush in her apartment and she never complains about being lonely. #2.
5. M'okay. At the moment. Bowl of roses.
4. Climb every goddam lady.
3. Bryan lied about the year, all the young ones protested.
2. Like a duke, on a highway of vipers.
1. I tell him no, JC... French prisoner released.
"If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions." If not, call back tomorrow morning for the big reveal.
It was our anniversary on Tuesday. As we're not married, it was the 15th anniversary of our first date, on which Louise fell up the steps to the cinema, revealed that she doesn't like coffee (my staple diet) and cut the evening short because she was "tired, hungry and stressed". I didn't expect a second date.
Anyway, it was our anniversary, and though we'd both bought each other a card and (small) present, we forgot all about it on the day itself and so we didn't exchange them until the following morning.
When we finally opened the cards, although they were different , they had an identical message on the front.
Here's two old favourites that seem appropriate... though neither of them really capture anything about our relationship. That song has yet to be written...
If, when you see the picture above, your first thought is Gram Parsons... congratulations, you have passed the test. Feel free to keep reading. If you thought of someone else... shame.
Albert Hammond told us that It Never Rains In Southern California. It does, however, snow. At least that's according to Tom Russell and Dave Alvin who co-wrote today's song, one that's kept popping up on mixes of mine over the past few months. Russell explains over on Facebook that he wrote the song "in an attempt to get inside the head and conflicted feelings of a border patrolman. At the time a lot of folks were dying up in the border mountains because the weather changed so drastically up there." Unlike a lot of issue-based songs, this is a beautiful piece of music too, one that really sticks in your head, reminding me of both Tom Joad era Springsteen (lyrically) and the glorious Willin' by Little Feat (musically and lyrically).
I'm not sure which I prefer, Alvin's version or Russell's... so here are both of them. Enjoy.
And if that's not enough California Snow for you today, here's Weezer with a song of the same title from 2019's The Black Album. Very different to the tracks above, but it's fun if you like Weezer. Which I do. We are a broad church here at My Top Ten, embracing many different musical genres... except, probably, those of you who didn't think immediately of Gram Parsons at the top of the page. But stick around long enough and we will wash away the sins of your past...
If Sam begins a story with the words "One time...", we pretty much know he's making it up.
Initially, I couldn't help be reminded of Alyson Mack's character in the American Pie movies..
Lately though, as the "One time..." tales have become taller, I have introduced him to a popular phrase from my own schooldays: Chinny reck-on.
This popular schoolyard expression of disbelief, usually accompanied by a thoughtful scratching of the chin, was also commonly referred to as "Jimmy Hill" back in the day, due to Mr. Hill's prodigious gifts in the chin department. Many comedians adopted the phrase because of its instant nostalgic humour, most notably Newman & Baddiel, back in the days of The Mary Whitehouse Experience.
According to the interweb, "the phrase is thought to have come from two earlier phrases – ich ne reckon (Germanic in origin) and ‘ch ne reckon. Both those slang phrases mean ‘I don’t think so’."
My response to that? Chinny reck-on, interweb.
Still, I like the idea that this silly old gesture from my childhood might enjoy new life among Sam's peer-group, even if they have no idea what it means. They won't be any more clued up than we were.
This seems like an appropriate time to play this...
This week proved to be most problematic. Normally, I just put a number into the Search Title box on my music player and it gives me a clear list of all songs with that number in the title. When I did that for 19 though, I got thousands of songs - including all the year songs from the 20th Century, from 1901 to 1999, plus any Live recordings that featured a date (Live 1987) or similarly dated remixes (1996 remix). As such, finding songs that featured the number nineteen in the title became an impossible task. I kinda gave up and went by ones I could remember off the top of my head and your suggestions. Luckily, there were some crackers among those.
Bandwise, it proved similarly tricky. The 1975, 1990s and 1910 Fruitgum Company were all disqualified for having their 19 in the wrong place, and the only caveat I allowed for a dated 19 was that I would allow the year 1919. Fortunately, there was a postpunk band from Bradford with just that name...
Girl -19
Sadly, John, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, since putting the words "girl" and "19" into
a search engine led me nowhere. The only info I have is what you gave me...
I used to love this when I was, er, 19. It was their riposte to Alice Cooper's 18. Speaking of which...
Hold your horses, John, we'll get to next week soon enough.
OK, still before we get to the obvious choices, here's the few leftovers I managed to scrape from my hard-drive before the exercise became too futile...
To be honest, all three of those were in contention this week... along with the above-mentioned belter by The Courteeners... but it's Martin who takes the prize this week for recalling one of my favourite minor hits from the post-Britpop era, although lyrically it owes a debt to 70s singer songwriters such as Rupert Holmes... and a splash of Scott Walker to boot.
Next week we become adults at last... or do we? Your 18 suggestions are welcomed... and yes, I will allow the 18th Century to get a look in, as I'm hoping there are far fewer songs with dates in from that century than this one... and not many 18th century remixes or live recordings either.
Gloria Gaynor's disco hit I Will Survive was originally seen as a female empowerment anthem, although in recent years it has also been embraced by the LGBT community for its message of not giving up even when it seems like the whole world's against you. Apparently the American Library of Congress selected it to be included in the National Re cording Registry as a track that is "culturally, historically, or artistically significant". And who am I to argue with any of that? It's a fine song...
There are plenty of interesting cover version around though, which take the song way beyond its disco roots. For example, there's the country version...
And this, which is apparently Gloria Gaynor's least favourite version, because it's a bit too sweary (edited here to make it more radio friendly). I was always very fond of this cover though...
Make up your own puns this week, I'm just happy to have Magnum with a camera.
Ten clues below lead us to the identities of ten pop performers... and their songs. Investigate all you like, just don't tell Higgins.
10. Thunder, and a westerly sunbeam, in chains.
9. Flats, with external doors, down at the end of Lonely Street.
8. Plaything brings sadness but longs for escape.
7. Global celebration in support of postmen.
6. Hey, O, 5xB... a brighter forecast.
5. Not departed or gone, just rusting.
4. When Elvis gets Jolie, he takes Paracetamol.
3. God watches auctioneers prowl.
2. Tidy up where the snow flies, with celebrity soft cheese.
1. Don't stop the traffic.
If you're stuck with any of the answers, listening to this should make you feel better. It always does for me. Then come back tomorrow morning for the big reveal...
It's half term this week, which theoretically means I should have more time to write this piffle as I only worked on Monday, but it doesn't mean that at all in practice. Plus, Tuesday's post nearly killed me.
So here's a quickie: the new track from Guise, aka Jessica Guise, aka Mrs. Frank Turner. I guess it's not cool to refer to women via their husbands in this day and age, but I only became aware of this because Frank was plugging it, and in that regard I'm glad, because it's a cool tune and the video is nice too. It captures well the awkwardness and insecurity of new romance, first dates and the absolute terror of making a complete arse of yourself...
I am not envious of my son for the world he will have to grow up in. I don't secretly wish to be as young as him and have it all in front of me again. I'm not even jealous of his innocence... but I regret he'll lose it soon enough.
The one thing I do envy him for though is his ability to sleep through the night, undisturbed, in any position he nods off in... without waking up stiff and grumpy, or tossing and turning, trying to find a position that's even remotely comfortable.
A quick google search under "sleep anywhere" will reveal hundreds of pictures that prove children (and cats, it seems) can sleep anywhere... and oh, how I wish that I could too.
I usually start the night on my back, but often wake myself up within an hour or so snoring. So I move onto my side, but need a pillow to raise my upper arm or I'll soon be waking again with pins and needles or a completely dead arm... one of those horrible floppy ones that feels like you've got a huge lump of Playdough hanging from your shoulder. Then I need a smaller cushion, or at least a bit of the duvet, between my knees, which have somehow become too bony to just lie together like they did for the first 30+ years of my life without complaint. And that's before I even start on the hip and lower back pain that wakes me most mornings around 5 and screeches with laughter at the idea that I'll be able to grab another hour without reaching for the Paracetamol.
How do you sleep?
I was going to choose a cool, hip blogger song to accompany this post, honest. I honestly considered all of these fine tracks...
But as I lay awake at 3.15am, choosing music that will bring comfort to my churning mind, I often end up been drawn back to the songs of my youth. Hence this, from the time went TV stations around the world played the National Anthem every night before they went off air... which in itself seems like a lifetime ago...
Usually I wait until I've heard a full album before I write one of these Contenders posts. It's rare I write one on the strength of a lead single ("impact track", or whatever they call them these days), way before the album sees the light of day.
One of the last times I remember doing that was three years ago, February 2017, when I just had to post Chuck Prophet's Bad Year For Rock 'n' Roll as soon as I heard it. Turns out the rest of the album, Bobby Fuller Died For Your Sins, was well worth waiting for... but that track was one of the best things I heard that year.
Well, it looks like Chuck's done it again. I'm always a sucker for a Trump song, but this one balances the anger with wit. Perfect.
Welcome back to the Hot 100. And please be upstanding for Brian...
I will count on seeing American power-pop band 20/20 as the art on the top of the next post in this series... preferably from their first single or their first album. Don't let me down, Rol!
Now, I have to admit I'd never heard of this lot before, but I knew Brian wouldn't let me down.
Here's the thing, Alyson... nothing is for everyone, and the stuff that is (or is supposed to be) is usually rubbish. I liked all those, but I think I preferred the version by The Stargazers.
By this point, I'm starting to wonder if some of you have just made a list of artists who are frequently featured on this blog and then gone looking for appropriately numbered songs. Oh, wait, here's someone who has blatantly done just that. It's Douglas McLaren...
So the consensus above seems to put T-Rex in as front-runners and obvious favourites. And I admit I too, had I not been late to the game, would have suggested the same, with perhaps Elvis Costello as an outside chance and Pet Shop Boys as a dark horse.
T-Rex? Has someone suggested a T-Rex song? Not that one The Swede mentioned, surely? Sorry, Douglas, I interrupted your monologue...
But as I am late to the game, I am going to put forward not just another choice, but one which I am sure you will see has the power of research, reason, and persuasive logic behind it. For starters, I have observed a long running tendency for our esteemed blogger to shy away from obvious front runners to surprise with some surprise underdogs. Consider, for example, a couple weeks ago when all were putting heavy money on Gene Pitney for #24, and up came Half Man Half Biscuit. I argue that T-Rex supporters going all in for a dead cert face possible extinction if there is a meteoric rise of some new kid on the Cretaceous block. So who might that be? If you were thinking Elvis, the King (and who better than a King to dethrone the Tyrant-Lizard?) you are wrong. I have just the candidate for you: George Jones. Before you scoff, consider this: Research shows that George has been undergoing a slow and steady upsurge in popularity within the pages of this fine blog. The "Search" box at the top reveals that his first appearance ever here was as an 8th place finish on April 15th, 2013, with "The World Worst Loser", in a Top Ten about "Losers". Before you chortle indeed and mutter something about the title being prophetic, or get off a wry comment that losing in a contest of Losers doesn't really make you a winner, wait for what comes next. George had a comeback the following year by teaming up with Tammy Wynette, always a wise strategy. That time, on January 6th, 2014, it was a 7th place finish with "I've Seen Better"...marginal improvement, you say? Well, improvement nonetheless and it gave him the confidence to try again, and this time, with all in for a placing. It took him a few years (his age slowing him, I suppose) but it was worth it; on April 19th, 2018, it was "The Race Is On" (ironically in a Top Ten about Horse Racing) that landed him in the Winner's Circle with a strong 2nd Place showing in a Top Ten appropriately about the races. And that was it. George could smell victory, and there was no stopping him. He spent the next year in training, eating nothing but Wheaties and working out like a man half his age. It was Stallone in Rocky XIII (am I up to date???) all over again. Avid readers will know that the payoff came just last week. And this would be big...not just some local, "best of show" Top Ten victory. George had his sights set higher. He wanted a win in one of the big time circuits, and he had his hopes pinned on a Saturday Snapshots #1 placing, and, miracle of miracles, just a few days ago, he came through with "He Stopped Loving Her Today". You saw it with your own eyes. But having tasted victory, George now wants more. What, he asked himself, would be better that a Saturday Snapshot win? What giddy heights could he aspire to now with a fairy tale finish to his Cinderella story in these hallowed pages? It took some thought, but then...by George, he had it! He would take the first spot in the final 20 countdown of the Hot 100. Let the younger kids have the final weeks (by Gad, he hoped it would not be U2 with "One"!). But he would show there was life in the old boy by having #20 all to himself. It had to be. He was made for this. He shuffled through his back catalogue, his memory stirred by a half-forgotten title. He rummaged for a few moments, past the big shiny hits, under the sleeper successes, and yes, there it was! And out he pulled... George Jones - I've Aged Twenty Years in Five Take that, T-Rex. (mike drops)
Wow. What can I say, Douglas, except that if you've spent such a (scarily) long amount of time researching this blog, there's one thing you must know for sure... Bono doesn't stand a chance.
OK, before we get on to the rather obvious winner, I have a confession to make. There were so many 20 songs in my collection (many of them mentioned above, many not), I didn't even have time to listen to them, let alone link to them. Here are the edited highlights...
I'm starting with that one because I have featured it here before as a Mid-Life Crisis Song. In that post I mentioned how Mark Kozelek wrote the song about Johnny Saint-Lethal, the lead singer of a little-known American guitar band called The Show. And do you know what, JSL actually left a comment in return... although for some reason, that has disappeared from the blog. Fortunately, I have it saved in my inbox, so here's what he said:
"I took Mark's writing the song about my book and I as a stunning nod. I think, however, if you had read the collection (as Mark actually did... please see "1983 MTV Era Music...") you would see the honesty in which it was written. Not at all a know-it-all. Quite the contrary. If you can find a copy (there's only 1100), you might enjoy it and view me differently. I speak to you from the "grave" though. I put JSL to death a couple years ago. RIP. Next chapter. Be well. Bless you all."
Thank you for that, Johnny, and I wish you well. I'm genuinely sorry if it seemed like I was judging you though - the post was meant to be more of a judgement of miserable, middle-aged gits like Kozelek and myself and how we secretly miss being 20-something and are jealous of anyone who still is.
I think.
Anyway, back to a few more selected 20 Songs from my hard-drive...
However, sometimes you just can't deny the inevitable.
And so we have to give this week's prize to Charity Chic as he was first to suggest it.
Some guitar riffs are so powerful, they blow everything else off the field...
Of course, this does mean that CC has now won two weeks in a row. Can he make it a hat-trick? I mean, next week is 19. Shall we just skip that and call it too easy a win?
Or will we all be surprised by a rank outsider?
To be honest, I haven't even started looking yet. So feel free to surprise me...
UPDATE: NO 19 SONGS WILL BE ALLOWED WHERE THE 19 IS PART OF A DATE IN THE 20TH CENTURY.
Jump is one of the most ubiquitous pop/rock singles of the 80s, and as such it is loathed by many. It's the moment where Van Halen embraced synths and downplayed heavy rock in favour of superstardom, so you can imagine how well that went down with certain parts of their fandom. It also (allegedly, according to Daryl Hall, who says he's "all right with it) steals its synth line from Hall & Oates' Kiss On My List, which must have had even more Van Halen fans tearing out their poodle-length hair.
It's worth saying that, like it or not, Jump! must be one of the most iconic pop videos of the MTV era, and David Lee Roth proves with worth as a Mick Jagger-esque frontman right here...
They don't make pop stars - or pop videos - like that anymore, and the world is a darker place without them.
Eddie Van Halen apparently wrote the lyrics to Jump! after watching a news report of a man threatening to commit suicide wherein one of the onlookers exhorted him to "go ahead and jump!", although Eddie intended the lyric to be more about jumping into a relationship than throwing yourself off a building.
Enter Roddy Frame, who slowed the song down and returned it to its suicide-inducing roots as the b-side of Aztec Camera's All I Need Is Everything less than a year after Van Halen's original had left the charts.
It seems appropriate to re-use this image today as clue #3 caused a hell of a lot of head-scratching yesterday. As I type this at 7.55pm on Saturday night, nobody has yet got the song... but I'm confident you will have done by the time this post goes live. Same for #1. Whether anybody got #6 is another matter.
*Update - Alyson finally cracked the clue, just before 8.*
51 comments as I post this. That may well be a record. I didn't go out of my way to make it harder this week... some weeks I do, but this wasn't one of them!
10. I taught I taw a Puddy Cat - I did! It wasn't made up!
