One of the best compilation CDs I ever bought was the one pictured above: a fantastic collection of punk and new wave hits, not a bad track among them.
One of the most recent CDs I bought was a lucky charity shop find, titled Sounds of the Suburbs, it's a compilation of the Members' finest moments, proving they were more than just one hit wonders.
Over the weekend, I was sad to read of the death of lead Member, Nicky Tesco. It seemed an appropriate time to listen to this one more time...
I'm here, once again, to disturb the peace on a Saturday morning with more Snapshots. Please don't call The Police... I'm sure you can identify the suspects below without their help. But can you identify the sinister plot that ties their songs together?
10. If Marilyn didn't shine...
9. Black Sea Peninsula.
8. Kirk.
7. These guys are pretty touchy.
6. Niiice fellows, led by a G-Man and a Bobby.
5. He will be jollily smoking that cigar until he drives away.
4. Lenient nuns.
3. Gammon outrage as secret identity of new 007 is revealed!
Not a single location today, but the whole of Scotland... or Caledonia, as the Roman Empire referred to it, and those with a romantic soul might still know it today. Written by Dougie MacLean, the version I know best is the one by Frankie Miller, originally recorded for a Tennent's advert.
As an Englishman, I have very little national pride, and if a similar song were written about my own home country, I doubt I'd feel the same... but Caledonia makes me feel patriotic for a country that isn't even mine. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it does to me...
Because ongoing, irregular and intermittent series are the ballast that keeps this blog afloat, here's another one, in which I reflect on almost forty years of record collecting.
Over the last year or so, my interest in owning physical copies of the music I love has returned. There was a time, maybe about 5 years ago, when I considered going all digital apart from the essentials, but lately I've realised I'm far more likely to devote time to a record that I actually paid money to own a physical copy of. My hard drive is full of digital albums I've never listened to (except when serendipity throws up appropriate tracks for a Top Ten), but when I look at the CDs on my shelves, there's barely a one I haven't played until I was sick of it. And the majority of them, I'm more than happy to revisit when time allows. Even though I rarely actually need to take the discs out of their cases to play them any more, and until I get glasses (remember: no eye test until I'm 50), I can't read the majority of the inlay cards without a magnifying glass anymore.
And so, here's a series in which I will write about collecting records. Or CDs, since I long since had to sacrifice my vinyl dreams. (More on that anon.) I want to celebrate the joy of collecting music, now that I've rediscovered it. I have quite a lot to say, but I'll try to break it down into manageable chunks. And play some appropriate tunes along the way. Because, to quote Chicago, record collecting... it's a hard habit to break.
Here's a tune I was listening to on my headphones yesterday while walking in the rain.
Fact: if you Google the lyrics to this song, it'll tell you they sing that your tabloids should be stronger. Not tablets, which would make a lot more sense (and is the actual lyric). Makes you wonder if online lyrics are written by an Alexa-like AI that doesn't really understand language, just responds and transcribes sounds.
I won't claim to big the biggest expert on Mark Lanegan's extensive body of work. I've got a Screaming Trees collection I haven't devoted the right amount of attention to, but I was taken with his solo work whenever I heard it and was especially fond of his collaborations with Isobel Campbell, updating the Lee & Nancy aesthetic for a 21st Century audience.
Still, at only 57, he's another one gone far too soon...
Nah, he comes round for a chocolate digestive and a cup of lemon and ginger tea on most Wednesdays. Thursday's he's travelling back to Hollywood.
Must have been Billy Ray then.
He did keep going on about his heart. I just called an ambulance, though.
Don't get on the wrong side of him. His family owns a wrecking ball.
Please tell me you get other people to come and teach similes.
How was that a simile? It didn't have like or as.
"I came in *like* a wrecking ball."
They don't own construction equipment.
She is clearly swinging on a huge fucking wrecking ball in the video I've seen. I watched it repeatedly, just to make sure.
I'd guess that it'd be cheaper for the budget if they rented one.
I don't think budget is something the Cyruses worry about.
You should have said, "Don't get on the wrong side of him. His family clearly has the free capital to rent a wrecking ball as and when needed."
I maintain that they have the free capital to *buy* a wrecking ball. Tell me you wouldn't buy a wrecking ball if you could afford one. I know I would.
I think my main concern is storage. I don't want to have to buy a big enough hangar to store it.
It'd probably make sense to turn it into a business.
But then I'd have to employ someone to deal with it.
It's too much hassle.
Rent it. Do the job. Return it.
You just need one of those really big garden boxes. Watch out this weekend, there'll probably be a few flying around.
Pretty sure my neighbour's fence is about to fall over. It's swinging around.
Swingers?
I thought we'd moved on from discussing the wrecking ball?
What does 'scone' rhyme with in your world view?
Cone.
Anything else is clearly wrong.
And they shouldn't be allowed around children.
Wrong answer.
You're just posh and over-privileged. Kind of like the Prince Andrew of Scones.
I'll call the police on you.
Oh yeah? Your mates on the force? Say no more.
Are your employers aware of your stance on this?
My employers are of the opinion that 'gone' is the correct answer. I was treated to a scone with jam and cream today. Although it did have those little bits of crystallised sugar on top, which are also wrong.
Does Louise know?
Louise is on the dark side in this matter. But then she also puts toilet rolls on backwards, so there's no hope.
Let's not start with the toilet roll again.
How can a new album be iconic?
I don't like Charli XCX, nor think she's any good, so that's the first issue I have.
I also think iconic has had a bit of a change of meaning for Gen Z.
I think it means "really cool and unique" or something.
Idiots.
Why?
Language is elastic.
Just because I don't understand it doesn't make it bad.
You're just defending your contemporaries. From a nearly-50 Gen X perspective, everything you weirdos do is wrong.
Alcoholism, teen pregnancy and STI rates plummeted after your generation. Issues like that continue to decrease with Gen Z teaching adulthood. I think things are going OK.
Is most of the above due to the fact that they're all addicted to Internet porn?
Everyone rushes to say how shit kids are, but really, they're improving on the last generation mostly each time.
Spin doctor.
OK, then... define "cheugy".
Pronounced 'choogy'.
I guess phony or poser is the word you might be more familiar with.
Like a try hard.
Isn't there a generational element to it though?
Yeah. I meant the opposite of it. Like it's natural.
Now I'm more confused than I was before I asked you.
So Jarvis Cocker would be cheugy. But every fanboy who tried to look like him would not be. They'd be try hards.
Morrissey isn't cheugy because with him it's calculated.
Tom Waits: cheugy.
Every impersonator: not cheugy.
So cheugy is a compliment!?!
Nope. I've just checked the internet. It's the opposite of what I said.
I manage one of these Top Tens about every three years (although this one is slightly late). I collect them as I go along and when I've got enough for a Top Ten, I unleash them on the world.
In previous volumes, folks have entertained themselves by seeing how many they can get from the lines alone before clicking on the links to see if they're right. That might be a little harder this time...
I thought I'd hate that, given how much I hate most dance music from that era. But I actually had quite a fond recollection, hearing it again after all these years. It's a lot more old skool than I remember.
There's another stormy Saturday in prospect, with winds strong enough to blow TVs out of hotel rooms and Rolls Royces into swimming pools. Better to stay indoors, I'd say, and have a go at this week's Snapshots.
Identify the artists below, then work out the connection between certain of their songs...
10. Sounds like he had slim sleeves.
9. Genesis sang about them three times.
8. Detective who used to make sketches meets homicidal artificial intelligence.
(Or... would-be Dirty Harry meets magician in a box.)
7. Wot, no peppered sprouts?
6. They got tangled up in a hotter vest bra.
5. Southern Indian devotional poet.
4. Famous for producing ground beef dish.
3. First in line, lover of wolves.
2. In this picture, you have seen torsos.
1. Rocking horses.
When the Moon goes down tomorrow morning, the answers will come up.
