Celebrity Jukebox #55: Julie Christie

Following on from Terence Stamp, it seemed logical to remain in the swinging sixties with his former partner in crime, Julie Christie. The ladies often do better than the gents in this feature, and Julie certainly racks up more mentions than Terry… although they do both feature in one of the best songs of the 60s, which I'd completely forgotten until Rigid Digit reminded me on Monday...

Terry meets Julie
Waterloo Station
Every Friday night
But I am so lazy, don't want to wander
I stay at home at night

After that, anything else will be an anti-climax. Still, there's some great tunes about Julie on her own. So let's crack on with them, shall we?

We begin with a song about Julie’s breakthrough role in Billy Liar, named after that movie’s star…

Yo La Tengo – Tom Courtenay

Julie Christie, the rumour are true
As the pages turn, my eyes are glued
To the movie star and his sordid life
Mr. X and his long-suffering wife

Next, Al Stewart. He's no stranger to this feature…

Al Stewart – Gina In The King’s Road

Now Gina in the King’s Road
In a raincoat shimmering white
Hands thrust in her pockets
Like Julie Christie might

Half-Japanese are an American art-punk band who have been going almost half a century. This was their debut single, released in 1975, in which Julie keeps company with a curious collection of ladies, most notable Yoko Ono, Shelley Duvall and Angela Bowie… it's an absolute racket.

Half Japanese – Calling All Girls

Another US punk band, this time from the 90s, and quite a bit more tuneful...

J Church – Anybody

She talks like Julie Christie
Implied sex and foreign intrigue
It’s the accent that really gets me
She laughs to make me smile

France Gall was the first singer Serge Gainsbourg ever wrote for. Here she takes a swing at the swinging 60s, trying to settle the old argument of which was the swingingest: England or France? (This one wasn't written by Serge. Clearly, he would know the answer.)

France Gall – Made In France

At which point we arrive at the songs named after Julie Christie. Of which, I think I found more titular mentions than for any other Celebrity Jukeboxer so far. We begin with Philadelphia’s Bill Ricchini…

Bill Ricchini – Julie Christie

You look just like Julie Christie
And I feel just like Terry Stamp

I like that one. Would have included it in my Terence Stamp Jukebox on Monday, but I guess I felt Bill was being a bit greedy, trying to feature here twice in one week.

Lorraine Bowen could well be described as a Billy Bragg protégé – Bill encouraged her to go solo following her time in two 80s bands, See You In Vegas and The Dinner Ladies. This is one of her most-loved tunes…

Lorraine Bowen – Julie Christie

Julie Christie
She makes me go misty
She makes me go “ah!”
Oh what a star

Slightly more erudite, we have the great Stephen Duffy, back in the days when he was still calling himself after a French comic strip character…

Stephen Tin Tin Duffy – Julie Christie

You remind me of
Julie Christie in 'Billy Liar'
You, your milky youth
Wide eyed devotion and pure desire

From a similar era, on Tea Time Records, here's my discovery of the week: The Driscolls…

The Driscolls – Julie Christie

And another couple of lost gems from the 80s that I can find very little info on… don't believe anyone who tells you that you can find out everything you want to know on the interweb.

Oxygen Pete – Julie Christie

Kennedy - Julie Christie

Following the break-up of All About Eve in the early 90s, lead singer Julianne Regan led another band called, less memorably, Mice. She doesn’t sing on track 7 of their debut album though: it’s an instrumental.

Mice – Julie Christie

Another instrumental, though different instruments were used, comes from French composer André Popp’s 1974 album, in which every track was dedicated to a different screen siren.

André Popp – To Julie Christie (The Wonderful World OfJulie)

This next lady got a write-up in No Depression… guaranteed to get Charity Chic to give it a listen at least!

Kristin Mooney – Julie Christie

My choice for today was obvious from the start. It may be from a band you know as well as any of the last few (though god knows I've featured them enough here over the years), but if that's the case, I highly recommend you acquaint yourself with the work of Shirley Lee and Spearmint as soon as possible. Here's one good reason to do so...

She looks like Julie Christie
And she's blotted out my past
She had it all laid out for me
I never stood a chance
We took the essence of Felt and Vic Godard
And we blasted into space
And then we showered down on everyone
The whole soppy human race

Namesakes #14: The Spinners

Last week, we had an interesting experiment, testing four different Placebos. The results were mixed. So much for science! Sadly, the only Placebo not to get a vote was poor old Brian Molko. Still, I guess he's made the most money from the name... there's probably a metaphor for the pharmaceuticals industry somewhere in that.

This week, you’re guaranteed to be all in a spin trying to decide between a plethora of Spinners. Personally, I think it’ll be an easy victory for one of them… still, I’ve been proven wrong before.

THE SPINNERS #1

We begin our journey in Michigan, 1954, where The Domingoes got together and started making a sweet soulful sound that would keep them spinning for getting on for three quarters of a century. They didn’t become The Spinners until 1961, by which time the band at #2 had also bagsied the name, which is why the world outside the USA knows them better as The Detroit Spinners, or occasionally The Motown Spinners. The band is still performing, with Henry Fambrough the only surviving original member.

THE SPINNERS #2

Meanwhile, in that Liverpool, circa 1958, Tony Davis, Mick Groves, Cliff Hall and Hugh Jones began to spin the folky, sea shanty, occasionally skiffle-based sound in The Cavern Club, where another four young lads would soon take to the stage. Originally called The Liverpool Spinners, they dropped their home town when fame came knocking, ending up with their own long-running BBC TV show.

The Spinners - In My Liverpool Home

THE SPINNERS #3

Around the same time that our first and second group of Spinners were starting to rotate at higher frequencies, Texan rockabilly star Johnny Carroll briefly formed his own group of Spinners too. They only released three singles that I can unearth, but this is one of them…

The Spinners - Rag Mop

THE SPINNERS #4

1958 was obviously a very good time for naming your band The Spinners. Here’s a doo wop group from Pittsburgh with their rather tiny “one hit wonder”…

The Spinners – My Love And Your Love

THE SPINNERS #5

More doo wop, but another completely different band. I was drawn to this one because I always like a good detective story…

The Spinners – Richard Pry, Private Eye

THE SPINNERS #6

Sometimes I wonder if I should just quit while I’m ahead? Here’s another band of Spinners, surf-rockers from the early 60s, who only appears to have ever released on 7” single. Here’s the A-side…

The Spinners - Slave Chain

THE SPINNERS #7

From 1969, here is the Country Funk sound of The Spinners with their cover of an obvious choice of Blood, Sweat & Tears song…

The Spinners - Spinning Wheel

THE SPINNERS #8

Our eight group of Spinners hail from Ankara in the late 1980s, where Zuhal Uneri formed Turkey’s first all-female punk band. There wasn’t a big audience for punk in Turkey where the rock scene was dominated by metal, so the group spread their wings into other territories.

The Spinners - We're Punk

THE SPINNERS #9

Latvian Trip Hop from the 90s, though it doesn’t appear to have been released till 2016. Takes a while to get a record out in Latvia, it seems.

The Spinners – Carry Da Gun

THE SPINNERS #10

Post-hardcore (whatever that means) trio from Athens. Not the Athens that REM came from: the Athens that Zeus came from. This is from 2020, by which time you’d have figured bands might have realised that this name had been used before…

The Spinners – I’ll Be Waiting

I’m going to stop at 10 in honour of the name of this blog. There were other bands called The Spinners, but I couldn’t always find a link to their music. And that's before we even get to The Hamburg Spinners or The Song Spinners or The Southside Spinners or The Sly Spinners or The Money Spinners or The Dub Spinners or... look, stick the word "Spinners" into Discogs and you'll be there all week.

I imagine you gave up reading this some time ago, but just in case you’re still interested… answer me this in the comments: which Spinners spin you right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round, round round? Not that I'm trying to sway the vote in any way, but here's another groovy tune to play us out...

Celebrity Jukebox #54: Terence Stamp

“Kneel before Zod!”

For most of my generation, our first encounter with Terence Stamp was as the evil General Zod in Superman II. The Grauniad called him “the master of the brooding silence”, and he certainly sent shivers down my spine. Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor was a pussycat in comparison.

I was surprised General Zod didn’t get referenced all over the place, but only Eminem (who’s the same age as me) was prepared to kneel before him.

Eminem – Rap God

Terence Stamp had been around for a couple of decades by the time he played that memorable supervillain, making his screen debut in the movie Billy Budd, an Oscar-nominated performance that obviously made some impact on a young Steven Patrick Morrissey…

Morrissey – Billy Budd

Morrissey also used an image of Stamp in The Collector as the cover of the third Smiths single, What Difference Does It Make? 

Stamp originally refused permission for the picture to be used, but relented in the end… possibly after he’d seen Morrissey’s alternative.

Pete Townshend from The Who has a younger brother called Simon who has occasionally play with big bro’s band, as well as ploughing his own lonely solo furrow. Here he is with a track called Highness, which begins thus…

I am what I am
I just happen to be related to the king

…before named dropping Bowie, Eddie Vedder and Rod Stewart, as well as… yes, you guessed it, Terence Stamp.

Simon Townshend – Highness

48 Cameras are described on their bandcamp page as “Collectif international à géométrie variable”, which means they come from all over the place, but mostly Belgium. This is from their 2006 release After All, Isn’t Tango The Dance of the Drunk Man? It sounds like an orchestra tuning up to me, but what do I know? It's probably art.

48 Cameras – Terence Stamp For A Time

The biggest Terence Stamp fan I could find in the pop world was Adam Ant. He namedrops Terry twice, mostly recently here…

Adam Ant – Punkyoungirl

Punky young girl needs a Terence Stamp
Perfect at swinging sixties vamp

And on this memorable b-side in which Stuart Goddard claims to be friends with everybody from Mister Pastry to Jim Morrison to Arthur Askey, and…

I’m a friend of Stevie Wonder
I’m a friend of Eric Fromm
I’m a friend of Bryan Ferry
I’m a friend of Terence Stamp

I did find one more lyrical reference to Mr. Stamp, but I'm saving it for Wednesday. You'll see why then...

Snapshots #268: A Top Ten Weird Places To Make Love Songs

Well, let's face it, if you're going to make love on a mountain top... who better than Sir Edmund Hillary to show you the way?

10. Major component on a SCUD missile.

Cud – Love In A Hollow Tree

Bit cramped. Watch out for splinters.

9. Here come the Dornoch lads with their arrows.

Dornoch is in Sutherland. Arrows come in a quiver.

Sutherland Brothers & Quiver – Love On The Moon

Not much atmosphere.

8. Changing colour makes me feel as though I’ve been born again (born again).

Alessi sang Oh, Lori, You make me feel as though I've been born again.

Chameleons change colour.

Lori & The Chameleons – Love On The Ganges

Early Bill Drummond band.

Insert "don't hurt your Ganges" joke here.

7. Catching fish in these – it’s a crazy feeling!

You catch fish in nets. Rave on, it's a crazy feeling.

The Raveonettes - Love In A Trashcan

Or you could have had...

The Raveonettes - Love On Barbed Wire

Neither are particular advisable, if you ask me.

6. Rubber from below the river…

When I was at school, a rubber johnny was the funniest thing in the world.

Southside Johnny & The Asbury Dukes – Love On The Wrong Side Of Town

But what's the right side?

5. Fleeting. 

The Moments - Love On A Two Way Street

Insert "oh, you take it both ways" joke here. I missed me calling.

4. Mi dandelion is all mucked up.

Mi dandelion is an anagram.

Neil Diamond - Love On The Rocks

I'm a huge fan of that song, but I have to admit that whenever I hear it, I imagine Neil getting jiggy on a rocky coastline, with the waves pounding over him. It looks bloody freezing.

3. Wait here three days.

'Til Tuesday - Love In A Vacuum

Aimee Mann before she was Aimee Mann.

See #9.

2. J.K. swaps gender to become a Sir.

JK Rowling changed her name, and her gender (sort of), to Robert Galbraith. A Sir is a Knight.

Robert Knight - Love On A Mountain Top

1. A moth, sire?

Anagram!

Aerosmith - Love In An Elevator

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Tyler. Going... down?"

You're probably all exhausted after that. Take a week off to recover and join me back here next Saturday for more Snapshots...

Saturday Snapshots #268

It's that bloody George Lazenby again! Honestly, you give him an inch and he'll take a mile.

Welcome to Snapshots. Identify the ten artists below, then see what connects their songs... go!

10. Major component on a SCUD missile.

9. Here come the Dornoch lads with their arrows.

8. Changing colour makes me feel as though I’ve been born again (born again).

7. Catching fish in these – it’s a crazy feeling!

6. Rubber from below the river…

5. Fleeting. 

4. Mi dandelion is all mucked up.

3. Wait here three days.

2. J.K. swaps gender to become a Sir.

1. A moth, sire?

Don't be too Lazenby on Sunday morning... come back here for the answers.

Self-Loathing Friday #3: I Don't Fit In

I wrote a particularly self-loathing screed the other day about how, even after almost 16 years on the blogosphere, I still don’t feel like I fit in. I scrapped it in the end because such posts always end up sounding like desperate comment-bait, like I’m begging people to say, “Don’t be silly, Rol, your blog is great!” or some such, which really wasn’t the point of writing it. 

When you’re a teenager, not fitting in is just part of life. High school movies always teach us that the kids who do fit in (the cheerleaders, the jocks) are actually evil and will go on to become either high-flying scumbags or faded losers. See Biff Tannen in the Back To The Future movies – he becomes both. The cool kids, the ones with real potential to make a positive difference and change the world, they’re the outcasts, the freaks and the geeks. I wonder if that’s because the majority of high school movies are written by one-time social lepers who have since blossomed into successful butterflies, albeit butterflies with baggage: chips on shoulders, ghosts to exorcise, point to prove.

But what about when you’re 50 and you still feel like you don’t fit in? Some caterpillars go past the point of metamorphosis and just have to learn to live with being caterpillars.

Gee, if this is the post I wrote instead of the one I scrapped, just imagine what a pity party that one was!

Paul Collins recently featured in Namesakes where his band The Beat was roundly trounced by the bathroom vanity guys. No wonder he feels like he doesn’t fit in…

It doesn’t matter what town I’m in
I’m always on the outside, lookin’ in
Oh what, someday everything’s gonna change?
Well, I wanna know when

 

Neverending Top Ten #5.7: Homework

This is one of those stories that takes a bit of explaining, but it has the perfect punchline. Or it proves my point. Always nice when that happens.

Sam’s homework has become a bone of contention over the last year or so. Not with Sam, but with school. The homework they provide is all online – either playing a times tables game called TT Rockstars… or an equivalent spelling game called Spelling Shed. As parents, we’re really conscious of restricting the amount of screen time Sam has as there’s plenty of evidence that too much can affect attention span, mood and academic achievement (among about a thousand other things). Call us old fashioned, but we’d prefer Sam to be given paper-based homework as the online programmes prove ultra-addictive, and encourage an unpleasant competitiveness among classmates and classes… something Sam’s school seem to encourage by offering prizes to the students who have been online the most. One of these prizes last year was to gorge yourself on a chocolate fountain… you couldn’t make this up.

Last year, Sam would often come away from playing these games red-faced and furious; it just wasn’t good for his health. We reached the point where he was getting so wound up that I rang the head teacher and told her we were banning the games. There was much more to the conversation than that, but I’ll spare you the details.

When the new school year kicked off in September, so did the pressure to play these bloody homework games again. We decided to give Sam another chance, but we told school we were monitoring it and if it looked like the homework was becoming too competitive again, that’d be the end of it. Sam’s actually been dealing with it much better this year, doing short bursts of activity on the games and not getting too stressed out… until last week, when suddenly we found him clamouring to go back on the Spelling Shed game more and more. We asked him what had changed and he explained that every week in assembly, they congratulated the class that had got the top score, and every week for the whole term, one class had won it. (Never mind that this was a class in the year above.) Sam and his friends were determined to beat that class, just once, so they’d committed to increasing their game play until they won. “Just one time,” he said, “that’s all.”

By the time we realised what was going on, Sam and his class were actually ahead, so it looked like they’d succeed in their quest and hopefully everything would go back to normal.

And then, at the last minute, the other class won again.

And that was when all hell broke loose. Let’s call it Shed-Gate. Because it seemed that a boy in the year above, let’s call him Edgar Teabag (because that’s his name… well, it' s not, but it could be) had been caught cheating. He’d not been playing the game at all… but he’d worked out how to hack it and give himself (and therefore his whole class) the highest score every week.

M’lud… the prosecution rests.

 

Completely unrelated: this is a track Sam’s been singing along to since I added it to our latest in-car CD.

Bram Tchaikovsky, aka Peter Bramall, was the lead singer of 70's Airport-botherers The Motors. When that band flew off in separate directions, Bram formed his own group of power-poppers, releasing three albums before going off to find an honest job. (He also played guitar on Into The Valley by The Skids, if you’re keeping score.) Sarah Smiles reached #32 in The Netherlands Top 40 in 1979. Listening to it now, I can’t believe it wasn’t Top Ten everywhere…

Celebrity Jukebox #53: Madeline Khan

I was a big fan of Madeline Kahn when I was a teenager. I probably liked her more than the movies she appeared in. I was never quite on the right comedy wavelength to appreciate Mel Brooks movies (I hated the farting sequence in Blazing Saddles, but loved the meta ending), however Madeline Kahn was great in it. I also remember loving What’s Up, Doc?, in which she appeared alongside Ryan O’Neal and Barbra Streisand. I haven’t seen that movie in over 30 years. I should watch it again. 

Madeline had a great singing voice too. Although you might not know it, because she often sang in character and purposely out of tune. Her most famous song from Blazing Saddles was even released as a 7” single…

Madeline Kahn – I’m Tired

Could be my theme tune. Without the sexy stuff, obviously. Just the tired.

Let’s delve into the record library, starting with an instrumental tribute…

Old Mexico – Madeline Kahn

Although they’re mentioned in the lyrics, this tune from a popular Canadian band was dedicated to Alan Arkin and Madeline Kahn. No idea why.

The Tragically Hip – We Want To Be It

I can’t find out much about our next act…

Serengeti & Sicker Man – Impress A Girl

And you walked in
Michelob Mum, Madeline Kahn
That’s a doozie
Clipped my nails, took a bath again

…but I can tell you that it refers to a beer commercial Madeline made in the 80s.

If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, then you might be more taken with this “indie / country” outfit who quote surf rock, Ennio Morricone and Elvis Costello among their influences.

Vox And The Hound – Madeline Kahn

The song’s about adultery, but the title they chose is a reference to Madeline Kahn’s character in the movie Clue. (Yes, they made a movie about Cluedo. It goes without saying that Madeline Kahn was the best thing in it.)

My pick of the day comes from John Grant, who can always be relied upon to throw the name of cool actors and actresses into his songs. Here he laments the untimely passing of today’s star, who sadly died of ovarian cancer in 1999.

Upper class, middle class, lower class, Sassafras,
Everybody these days thinks they’re a bad ass
How am I supposed to live in a world with no Madeline Kahn?
My favourite girl is gone

Namesakes #13: Placebo

Last week it was Always vs. Alvvays, with the double Vs soundly thrashing the double Us.

This week, you all need to take your medicine. And really believe it’s going to make you better…

PLACEBO #1

Your first dose comprises a measure of early-70s Jazz-Rock from Belgium. This Placebo were the brainchild of Brussels-born “jazz legend” Marc Moulin. They released three albums between 1971 and 1974, most notably their debut record Ball Of Eyes which had a very distinctive cover.

Moulin went on to join “avant-rock” band Aksak Maboul (I’m always wary of bands that use the prefix “avant”) before discovering synths and forming the electro-pop group Telex. 

Here’s a track from Ball Of Eyes… Nice!

PLACEBO #2

Skip forward to 1982 and the Durham village of Pity Me, which has officially become my favourite place in the world. I’m seriously thinking of moving there. In Pity Me, you would find Guardian Studios, wherein Gary and Michelle Wild recorded their sole album as Placebo, England’s Trance. I had to do some real digging to find out about this one, but I think one or two of you may well dig its spiky new wave vibe…

The album was re-issued in the 90s, rebranded as “The Original Placebo” (although, as we now know, that’s not strictly true).

PLACEBO #3

Most of you will be familiar with Leslie Feist, usually known by her surname alone, of iPod-flogging 1234 fame. But did you know that she started her musical career at 15 as the lead singer in an early 90s Canadian punk bank called Placebo? 

You didn’t?

Well, you do now.

PLACEBO #4

Probably the Placebo you’re most familiar with, Brian Molko’s band formed in the mid-90s and released a debut album full of cracking guitar tunes that still sound good today. Since then, they’ve released another seven long players and are still going strong, although I can’t say I’ve heard anything from them lately that sounds half as good as Nancy Boy.

It’s like a medical trial! Four different Placebos to choose from… but which one makes you feel better? Let me know in the comments…

Celebrity Jukebox #52: George Lazenby

Some would say George Lazenby is the worst actor to ever play James Bond. And yet, he appears in the best James Bond movie: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The only James Bond movie where Bond’s character is allowed to develop, and then have the rug pulled out from him at the end with a genuine tragedy. (Some might argue they tried to do something similar with the Daniel Craig films, but as I’ve mentioned before, much as I like Craig as an actor, I didn’t like his films at all… to the point where I feel I’m over Bond now. Which is probably for the best.)

I generally write these posts a week in advance now, and last weekend I had my covid booster, which knocked me for six. Therefore, I tried to pick someone who wouldn’t feature in too many songs, and for once I was right.

Let’s start with Nigel Blackwell: always a welcome addition to these pages. He doesn’t mention George by name, BUT…

Half Man Half Biscuit – Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)

And there’s the person who collects all things Pierrot
And loves Siamese cats
And thinks they’re sophisticated because they eat Fry’s Chocolate Cream
And they’d do anything to spend the night with that fella off the Turkish Delight advert
Who’s full of Eastern Monosodium glutamate…

As you may recall, before he became Bond, George floggedTurkish Delight.

In case you’re wondering, I did find a band called Lazenby, but it appears they’re named after their lead singer, Sarah Lazenby.

Lazenby – Listening To Joni

Over at Charity Chic’s place, I found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to vote against The Blogmaster General (JC) in CC’s ongoing Townes Covered feature. To make up for that, and to prove I do like Tindersticks, I’m offering some chocolate…

Tindersticks – Chocolate

She even agreed On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was the best Bond film
If you accept it as a whole and not just get hung up about George Lazenby.

There’s a whole 9 minute story to that one, with an amusing twist at the end. I’d recommend giving it a listen if you have the time.

But today’s winning tune comes from Norwegian songwriter Sondre Lerche (although he apparently lives in L.A. now… mustn’t like the cold).

Some of you may think that I regret some of my doings
I’d do it all again
If I had the chance
Just like Lazenby

Can I do it over?
Don’t I get a second try?
Every time I messed up my lines and stumbled
Just like Lazenby

Snapshots #267: A Top Ten Loser Songs

After Andrew Garfield yesterday, I had to look if there was a picture of Garfield the Cat holding a camera. The internet didn't let me down.

On a completed unrelated note, here are ten losers...

10. Environmentally friendly Piper.

Peter Piper picked a peck of green peppers.

Peter Green - Loser Two Times

9. Arrest Chuck.

Nick... (Chuck) Berry!

Nick Berry - Every Loser Wins

Shame? What's that?

8. How Elmore, Etta and Skip got around.

Elmore, Etta and Skip James used a car!

James Carr - A Lucky Loser

7. How much for Lois Lane's real name?

Lois Lane was played by Margot Kidder. How much?

Margo Price - World's Greatest Loser

6. Post-war Dublin tower blocks.

Google it.

Fatima Mansions - Only Losers Take The Bus

5. Richard is completely apathetic.

Dick couldn't care less.

Dick Curless - Loser's Cocktail

4. Empty Tot and the Berserk Eartha.

Anagrams!

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Even The Losers

3. Salutations.

Dear is a salutation used to start a letter.

The Dears - You And I Are A Gang Of Losers

2. Jolly Uni CDs play out of synch.

Another anagram!

Judy Collins - Hard Lovin' Loser

Love that.

1. Prominent member of Quebec Karate Club.

QueBEC Karate Club.

There was only ever going to be one Number One this week...

Remember: Nick says every loser wins. So you're all winners in my book.

 

Saturday Snapshots #267

I was watching Cunk On Earth this week. The episode about religion. This line split my sides...

"Scholars now believe that Jesus Christ was an actual real historical figure. Like Justin Timberlake, or Garfield."

I tell you this only because that's a picture of Andrew Garfield above. A very good actor, and seemingly quite a genuine, likable guy too.

I'm sure it will have made his weekend, me saying that. And if it didn't, he can always try to identify the ten artists below and work out what connects their songs...

10. Environmentally friendly Piper.

9. Arrest Chuck.

8. How Elmore, Etta and Skip got around.

7. How much for Lois Lane's real name?

6. Post-war Dublin tower blocks.

5. Richard is completely apathetic.

4. Empty Tot and the Berserk Eartha.

3. Salutations.

2. Jolly Uni CDs play out of synch.

1. Prominent member of Quebec Karate Club.

Scholars believe that if you come back tomorrow morning, you'll get all the answers.