Guest Post Thursday #8: Top Ten Booze Songs III

I'm taking a little blogger-break at the moment to clear my head, though Saturday Snapshots will continue as usual... and so will Guest Post Thursday... well, this week and next, for sure. After that, it's up to you. 

Today's guest is probably the blogger I've known longest (or certainly as long as JC), since he is one of the few people who followed me over from my previous blog, Sunset Over Slawit. He's also an excellent writer (check out his novel Drawn To The Deep End if you haven't already), and someone I've been honoured to collaborate with in the past.    

This is his first appearance at My Top Ten though, and it took the booze to tempt him.

Take it away, Martin...

The thought that I could have a crack at part three of the Top Ten Booze Songs came about purely because two great songs occurred to me that neither Rigid Digit nor C had mentioned. Of course, I then had to think of eight more, so apologies for quality control issues - maybe this is the bottom ten booze songs?

10. Oasis - Cigarettes and Alcohol

In the first verse, these vices are all the Manc mono-brows find. By the second verse, they are all they need. Dependency alert, kids! Could have gone for Champagne Supernova, I suppose (Part IV, anyone?)

(I'm keeping schtum over this one... except to say, I find it appropriate that the video begins in a toilet. - Rol.)

9. Splodgenessabounds - Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please

For everyone who has ever had trouble getting served, when the bar staff see through you to their mate or the person they fancy, and serve them first. My brother bought this on 7".

8. Memphis Slim - Beer Drinkin' Woman 

Now I walked into a beer tavern

To give a girl a nice time.

When I entered I had forty-five dollars

When I left I had one dime.

Wasn't that a beer drinkin' woman

Don't you know, man, don't you know?

She was a beer drinkin' woman.

I don't want to see her no more.

7. Big Audio Dynamite - Champagne

Well, it's got Mick Jones in, so forgive this bubbly but instantly forgettable glass of bland party tune.

6. UB40 - Red Red Wine

A track that has suffered from its ubiquity. I know it's a Neil Diamond song originally, but this is the version everyone knows and sings along to. Goes to my head indeed.

(It goes without saying that I prefer the original. - Rol.)

5. Johnny Paycheck - Fifteen Beers

The sort of song that ought to be playing in the background of every bar scene in Roadhouse. About as far removed from the kind of pub I'd like to frequent. Wasn't this William Hague's favourite song? Or did he only claim fourteen beers...? :)

4. Terrorvision - Tequila

That the highpoint of their commercial success was this atypical, almost novelty song may rankle the band. I bet the PRS cheques don't though.

3. Semisonic - Closing Time

Whilst I welcomed the relaxation of licensing laws, I sort of miss the ritual of closing time, the bell, last orders at the bar, getting another round in quick ... and knowing the same ritual was happening in every other pub all over the place. "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here." 

(Including this made up for Oasis. - Rol.)

2. Stevie Wonder - Don't Drive Drunk

A sobering (see what I did there?) reminder that just has to follow Closing Time. Not his finest moment, of course, but you can't argue with the sentiment.

1. Gene - Sick, Sober and Sorry

And a tune for the morning after, perhaps? Although any remorse has to be tempered with the opening lines: "Please don't stop me from drinking, It's my only joy..." And if I'm honest, this is the only tune here that would me in my top ten booze songs, if Rigid Digit and C hadn't bagged all the best ones already! Anyway, here's a good live version, with an appropriate introduction:

Thank you, Martin. You know I love Gene almost as much as you do, though I'd kind of forgotten how good this one was. Makes me miss them all the more.

Another fine selection of booze songs... though I doubt we've covered all of them. If you fancy contributing your own list, you know where I am.

Saturday Snapshots #146 - The Answers

Say hello to my little friend... this week's answers!



10. Restless atheists.

Faithless - Insomnia

9. Too much temptation... time to grow up, lady.

Urge Overkill - Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon

8. Monks found of the streets of Carlisle (etc.)... with bills to pay.

Panic on the streets of Carlisle... Dublin, Dundee, Humberside.

The Panic Brothers - In Debt

7. Western cop compresses heavy rain while boogieing in Birmingham.

A western cop is a Marshall.

Heavy rain compressed = Hain.

Marshall Hain - Dancing In The City

I actually thought Marshall Hain was one person until I did this post. Not Julian Marshall & Kit Hain.

6. Blue bird yanks you towards it.

Blue Jay. Americans = Yanks.

Jay & The Americans - Come A Little Bit Closer

5. This tidy cook adores candy.

A neater baker. There is only one clue worthy of the name Anita.

Anita Baker - Sweet Love

4. Nixon vs. paracetamol; article found between Dave & Fred.

Nixon started The War On Drugs.

Dave & Fred sang Under Pressure. Put an article (the) in the middle of that...

The War On Drugs - Under The Pressure

3. Children like dragonflies and WASPs.

Children are offspring.

Dragonflies are pretty. WASPs are white guys.

They didn't have Ice Cube, so he bought Vanilla Ice...

The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

2. Edward Mordrake had two: both voted Remain.

Edward Mordrake was The Man With Two Faces.

The Faces - Stay With Me

1. 50 lira found in posh boarding school... Wayne Sleep.

The school was Eton, with an L in it from either Lira or 50 (Roman Numerals).

Wayne Sleep is a tiny dancer.




Feel the Heat again next Saturday morning...

Saturday Snapshots #146

It's time for the Rush Hour... or the Rush ten minutes, knowing you lot! Who will be first to guess this week's Snapshots? Ready, set... go!



10. Restless atheists.

9. Too much temptation... time to grow up, lady.

8. Monks found of the streets of Carlisle (etc.)... with bills to pay.

7. Western cop compresses heavy rain while boogieing in Birmingham.

6. Blue bird yanks you towards it.

5. This tidy cook adores candy.

4. Nixon vs. paracetamol; article found between Dave & Fred.

3. Children like dragonflies and WASPs.

2. Edward Mordrake had two: both voted Remain.

1. 50 lira found in posh boarding school... Wayne Sleep.

Were you as fast as Jackie Chan? Find out tomorrow morning...

Guest Post Thursday #7: Top Ten Heart Songs

Another Thursday, another Guest Post. And we welcome back George, who's getting all mushy on us...

George's Top Ten Heart Songs

Rol made the huge mistake of saying I would be welcome to do another piece for his blog.

And I have chosen My Top Ten Heart songs so I could shoehorn in one of My Favourite Songs Of All Time, brought to me by Andy Kershaw many many years ago. I was thinking originally of a Top Ten Meal songs but that led to me that huge pile of old pish Breakfast In America, which would never ever be included in such a list but I had to banish that song from my mind. And instead we have this top ten. Spoiler alert: No Supertramp. Actually, that’s hardly a spoiler, but hopefully you get the point.

That’s a picture of a cow’s heart. Something I have cooked up for the dogs and cats, who could not scoff it quickly enough. When I told Talho Jorge that I was vegetarian it caused great amusement. We used to get a great slab of heart-and-lung (different butcher) which I just could not deal with. Enough of this offal talk. On with the music:

A Top Ten Heart Songs has to have this in it. Peerless. Well, almost.

1. Hank Williams - Cold Cold Heart

When he sings about the robin, it can, and indeed has, moved me to tears. He never did a better song than this.

Bonny Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart   BEHAVE yourselves.

(George just does things like that to taunt me. Total Eclipse is Jim Steinman at his immense batshit-craziest. I will post the video as evidence for the defence. - Rol.) 

2. Neil Young - Heart of Gold

This song has been ranked as the 303rd greatest song of all time, in 2010.

Again, perverse not to include, and better than the Boney M cover.

You’ve never heard that one? For your pleasure here it is, performed live!

The Isley Brothers - This Old Heart of Mine, which took me longer than I thought to find because I was thinking it was by The Four Tops…

3. The Isley Brothers - This Old Heart of Mine

(George has now redeemed himself for dissing Ms. Tyler & Mr. Steinman. That is one of my all time favourite songs, as featured here many times before. - Rol.)

I was something of  a Hendrix obsessive in my youth, amassing 26 albums by the age of 19. This is from the Royal Albert concert of 1969, on the same day as Denis Law’s 29th birthday:

4. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Bleeding Heart

It’s amazing how clean that guitar sounds, and how all you need for a fantastic blues song are three people. No embellishments, just Hendrix playing the blues, bass and drums.

5. Calexico - Black Heart

There might be one or two people reading who don’t actually own Feast Of Wire. You really should catch yourselves on and rectify that right now. It is frequently considered The Best Album Ever Made In The Entirety of Recorded Music. That title has also been bestowed upon ABC, Rod Stewart, and The Turbines. At the momentum it belongs again to Calexico. And this song replaced a Clyde McPhatter and The Drifters song, THAT is how good it is:, it’s the slow, sweeping orchestration, the almost tortured painful vocal, it’s a glorious and dark, dark song...

It’s after this track that the realisation dawns that the entire album is something special.

6. Dwight Yoakam - Heartaches by the Number

The final track on Dwight’s best album, which would be his first one (which reminds me, some bloke’s writing a weekly piece of about second albums that are better than the first...)

7. Buddy Holly - Heartbeat

Now for some, this song might have been rather spoiled by the bloody ghastly ITV programme of a few years ago, but listen to it now, it’s a fantastic, simple love song, beautifully played and sung, 2 minutes and 7 seconds of pure pop perfection. Come on, who amongst you will not sing the “piddle dee pat” bits. And the rest of it???

8. Cream - Deserted Cities of the Heart

This song is from the completely over the top and self-indulgent double album Wheels of Fire album (one track involves an especially tedious Ginger Baker drum solo), but this a great psychedelic/rock song, showing what a great vocalist Jack Bruce was, really powerful, there’s no unending guitar noodling from Clapton, just a brief interlude, and those huge thumping drums of Ginger Baker.

I love how that song seems to begin with Jack Bruce launching into the vocal and Clapton and Baker are almost caught unawares.

9. Al Green - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

I was thinking about not including this, because the singer appeared in my previous outing here. I played it again and thought that if this is to be a Top Ten and not just Ten Songs with Heart In The Title, then it would be ridiculous to exclude it.

(Agreed. - Rol.)

It’s a tremendous song, but remarkably not his best! Another song that can move me to tears. If you don’t like this, you’ve got no heart...

(The Bee Gees do a murderously poor version of this song. Dear god, you’d have thought they’d written it!)

10. Carl Butler and Pearl - Heartaches For Lunch 

And here’s the shoehorn - I jettisoned the Top Ten Meals Songs idea for the rather easier Heart Songs just so I could include this song. Well, it has been one of my (and I suspect Charity Chic’s) Favourite Songs Of All Time since first heard 30 or so years ago. Like the Dwight song above (OK, I know that’s a cover) I can sing along, or “sing” along, to this word-perfectly. Almost word-perfectly. It’s meant to be sad but it always makes me smile, the cheery music just does not go with the sentiment of the song. Now THIS is a peerless song...

Carl Butler and Pearl - Heartaches for Lunch

Two minutes and 50 seconds of country music genius. You’ll not hear a better song today.

“I opened up my sack, and lord there it was, my baby’s goodbye note, heartaches for lunch”

“Teardrops change the flavour of things I loved once”

Where else but in country music do you get such great lines??

So, no Jayhawks (Two Hearts) which was briefly a contender. No Joy Division (very very briefly a contender, but not as strong as The Jayhawks). No Bruce Springsteen, obviously.

There might, just possibly, be something that I missed, but looking at the list the only tracks that could possibly be replaced are the Neil Young and Cream songs, the others are nailed on surefire bets for being in any Top Ten Heart Songs.

And thanks to Rol for allowing me again to pollute his pages.  

No, thank you, George. For anyone who's interested, I did a Top Ten Breakfast Menu Songs back in 2013... and promised I would include Supertramp in a future Top Ten that never materialised. One day, Supertramp fans, one day.

Now I never even thought  of tackling a Top Ten Heart Songs because there are so many available options. George did nail a couple of my favourites above... but if he missed out any of yours, feel free to contribute a list of your own for a future instalment of Guest Post Thursday.  

Next week: more booze!

Positive Songs For Negative Times #27: A Day Out

On Monday, we took Sam to Alton Towers. This was a risk given the current climate, but they're taking the temperature of everyone entering the park, making people wear masks in enclosed areas, most of the indoor attractions are closed, and they've set up one way systems which most people appeared to be following. So, yes, a risk... but we've cancelled two holidays already this year and we don't want Sam to go the whole summer without doing anything out of the ordinary. We want him to have special memories of his childhood, even this year. You're only six once - and that's a lot different to saying you're only 48 once.

In the end, much as he loves rollercoasters and thrill rides (about as much as I hate them), he's at that weird age now where he's too big for the little kids' rides and too small most of the adult ones. So he went on the Runaway Mine Car a lot (with his mum and granddad, because you wouldn't get his dad on there) and rode the ghost train (Duel - you get to shoot the pop-out spooks with lasers... which is fun, but takes away some of the jumps) plenty of times with me. There were a few disappointments - some rides he could have gone on were closed, either for coronavirus or repair... and others he wanted to go on, but the queues were too long to test the patience of a 6 year old (or his mum). Those queues were made longer because the rides in question weren't allowing as many people on at a time, more people were queuing for less rides, and the staff had to stop every so often to give the attractions a good deep cleansing. (As I keep saying: these things need writing down, because we will forget them.)

All in all, I think the risk was worth it. He had a good day and hopefully made some good memories... he's talked of little else since, and already wants to go back. Oh, and he loved the little kids' driving school.

One song's been going through my head since Monday, since it shares its title with one of the big thrill rides at Alton Towers.

This is the ride... tell me, would you? Have you?




I didn't.

I wouldn't.

It was closed anyway.

You won't even get me on the waltzer these days.

Here's the song. Much more my cup of tea. And the lyrics, though 26 years old, are pretty timely...

Oh goodness, my gracious, 

I hope its not contagious,

Although it seems its catching 

It's best not to get careless.

Terrorvision, though largely forgotten now, had 13 Top 40 hits back in the 90s. Respect to the lads from Keighley...

Hot 100 - The Countdown

"OK, so I decided this kind of long term commitment might be fun."

Those were the words that opened the first post of The Hot 100 back in January 2018.

Words have a habit of coming back to bite you in the arse.

Still, it's over now, and I don't regret doing it. For completeness sake, here's the full countdown.

(Click on the number to see the original post & the song title to hear the tune.)


100. The Handsome Family - The Song Of A Hundred Toads

99. Suzanne Vega - 99.9 °F

98. Keith - 98.6

97. Pulp - 97 Lovers

96. The Stranglers - 96 Tears

95. Fountains of Wayne - I-95

94. David Bowie - Always Crashing The Same Car

Jasmine, I saw you peeping

As I pushed my foot down to the floor

I was going round and round the hotel garage

Must have been touching close to 94

93. Sweet Bamboo - Wolfie 93

92. Pop Will Eat Itself - 92 Degrees Fahrenheit

91. Lucy Spraggan - 91

90. Bow Wow Wow - C30 C60 C90 Go!

89. REM - Pop Song 89

88. The Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women

87. The Rural Alberta Advantage - Tornado '87

86.  I Am Kloot - 86 TVs

85. Mew - 85 Videos

84. The Beautiful South - When I'm 84

83. Amy Rigby - The Summer Of My Wasted Youth

Summertime in '83

I didn't need a j-o-b

Cause unemployment kept me free

To study country harmony

And find somebody with a car

Drink cheap beer in the Polish bar

Take photos in the photo booth

The summer of my wasted youth

82. Bruce Springsteen - Does This Bus Stop At 82nd Street?

81. Mary Chapin Carpenter - The Way I Feel

All the way down 81

I've got some friends in Nashville

Atlanta it's been way too long

By morning I'll make Asheville

80. The Supremes - Around The World In 80 Days

79. Vampire Weekend - M79

78. Gomez - 78 Stone Wobble

77. The Clash - 1977

76. The Alarm - Spirit of '76

75. Little Man Tate - 75

74. Alice Cooper - Teenage Lament '74

73. Felix - Oh Thee 73

72. Turin Brakes - Emergency 72

71. Magnolia Electric Company - Texas 71

70. Ed Harcourt - Born In The 70s

69. Bryan Adams - Summer of '69

68. The Alarm -  68 Guns

67. Driver 67 - Car 67

66. The Rolling Stones - Route 66

65. John Grant - GMF

So go ahead and love me while it's still a crime

And don't forget you could be laughing

65% more of the time

64. Bruce Hornsby & The Range - The Way It Is

Well, they passed a law in 64

To give those who ain't got a little more

But it only goes so far...

63. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)

62. Grass Show - 1962

61. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited / PJ Harvey - Highway 61 Revisited

60. Nils Lofgren - 60 Is The New 18

59. The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound

58. Radiohead - Black Star

The troubled words of a troubled mind

I try to understand what is eating you,

I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since I last slept with you

57. Bruce Springsteen - Incident On 57th Street

56. Huey Lewis & The News - The Only One

I can still see him standing there

Just like yesterday

Leaning on his '56

Giving his secrets away

Is it any wonder

I feel a little lonely

He's not just the only one

He's the one and only

55. Tom Waits - Ol' 55

54. Toots & The Maytals - 54-46 Was My Number

53. The Ramones - 53rd & 3rd

52. Richard Thompson - 1952 Vincent Black Lightning

51. The The - Heartland

This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.

50. Paul Simon - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

49. James Gang - Funk #49

48. Suzie Quatro - 48 Crash

47. Guy Clark - Texas 1947

46. Rilo Kiley - Love & War (11/11/46)

45. Deacon Blue - Real Gone Kid

Let me know, let me know, let me know

About all the old 45s

And the paperback rooms

And it's scattered all the photographs

Of summers and suns

44. The Granite Shore - Fanclub Newsletter Number 44

43. Guillemots - Made Up Love Song #43

42. Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around With Jim

Uptown got it's hustlers

The bowery got it's bums

42nd street got big Jim walker

He's a pool shootin' son of a gun

Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come

But he stronger than a country hoss

And when the bad folks all get together at night

You know they all call big Jim "boss"

41. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - 41 Shots

40. Mercury Rev - Opus 40

39. Queen - '39

38. The Tragically Hip - 38 Years Old

37. Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show / Marianne Faithful - The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan

At the age of thirty-seven

She realised she'd never ride

Through Paris in a sports car

With the warm wind in her hair

So she let the phone keep ringing

As she sat there softly singing

Pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorised

In her daddy's easy chair

36. Nick Lowe - 36 Inches High

35. Bob Dylan - Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

34. The Clovers - Love Potion Number 9

I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth

You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth

She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine

Selling little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine

33. Frank Turner - 1933

32. They Might Be Giants - 32 Footsteps

31. Aimee Mann - 31 Today

30. Barry Manilow - Copacabana

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl

But that was thirty years ago, when they used to have a show

Now it's a disco, but not for Lola

Still in dress she used to wear

Faded feathers in her hair

She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind

She lost her youth

And she lost her Tony

Now she's lost her mind

29. Jarvis Cocker & Chilly Gonzalez - Room 29

28. Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Roadrunner

I'm in love with modern moonlight, 

1.28 when it's dark outside

27. The Smiths - Never Had No One Ever

I had a really bad dream

It lasted twenty years, seven months, and twenty seven days

26. Gil Scott Heron - B-Movie

Well, the first thing I want to say is..."Mandate My Ass!"

Because it seems as though we've been convinced

That 26% of the registered voters

Not even 26% of the American people

But 26% of the registered voters form a mandate...

Or a landslide...

The idea concerns the fact that this country wants nostalgia

They want to go back as far as they can ...

Even if it's only as far as last week

Not to face now or tomorrow, but to face backwards

25. Otis Redding & Carla Thomas - Tramp

That's right, you haven't even got a fat bankroll in your pocket...

You probably haven't even got twenty-five cents

24. Half Man Half Biscuit - Twenty-Four Hour Garage People

23. Shuggie Otis / The Brothers Johnson - Strawberry Letter 23

22. The Man from Delmonte - Drive Drive Drive (22 And Still in Love With You)

21. The Adverts - No Time To Be 21

20. T-Rex - 20th Century Boy

19. Rialto - Monday Morning 5.19 

18. Alice Cooper - I'm Eighteen / Pete Wingfield - 18 With A Bullet

17. Janis Ian - At Seventeen

16. Tennessee Ernie Ford - 16 Tons 

15. The Cure - 10.15 Saturday Night

14. Billy Bragg - The Fourteenth of February

13. Big Star - 13

12. My Life Story - 12 Reasons Why I Love You

11. The Magic Numbers - Mornings Eleven

10. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - Tenth Avenue Freeze Out

9. The Temptations - Cloud Nine

8. REM - Driver 8

7. Prince - 7

6. The Lemonheads - 6ix

5. Julian Cope - 5 O'Clock World

4. Bruce Springsteen - 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)

3. Bob Dorough / De La Soul / Embrace - 3 Is A Magic Number

2. Blur - Song 2

1. Aimee Mann - One

(0. Elvis Costello - Less Than Zero)

I like the way this turned out. In many ways, it represents my record collection. Bruce is in there 5 times, which would be too much for most people, but is about right for me. Most of my other really important artists are represented - Billy, The Smiths, Prince, REM, Huey, Half Man Half Biscuit, Pulp, Queen, Barry Manilow... and thanks to CC's Zero Post yesterday, we have some Elvis Costello too. (That would have been mine choice for zero.) There's some Motown, some country, some punk, some soul, some obscure indie bands, and a nice mix between the really obvious numerical songs (Summer of '69, 20th Century Boy) and the really obscure (The Man From Del Monte, The Rural Alberta Advantage). The lyrical choices also helped keep the chart from being too obvious or too ordinary in many places. In the end, this is like 8 years of the blog mashed into 100 posts... just no Billy Joel.

The most appropriate song to finish this series on had to be this. Here's to all the songs that almost made it onto the countdown. You won't be forgotten!

Guest Post Monday: Top Ten Zero Songs

Unable to cope with a Zero edition of the Hot 100 myself, I put the idea out to tender.

First to jump at the opportunity was Charity Chic, who spend a large part of his working week compiling the excellent Top Ten below. He didn't supply a Zero band though, so I chose Remy Zero, who once recorded the theme tune to young-Superman-based TV show Smallville.

Remy Zero - Save Me

I'm running this Guest Post today - rather than on Thursday - because it leads it nicely into the final edition of the Hot 100 tomorrow. Join me then for the full countdown.

In the meantime, take it away, Charity Chic...

Top 10 - Zero Songs

By way of appreciation for Rol’s epic Hot 100 series, I give you a Top 10 of Zero Songs...

10 - The BoomtownRats - Wind Chill Factor (Minus Zero)

Taken from “the difficult third album “ 1979’s The Fine Art of Surfacing, it pre-dates Band Aid, meaning that St Bob was slightly less annoying than he later became.

(Actually, I love that album. - Rol.)

9 - TV 21 - This isZero

TV21 were a post punk band from Edinburgh. Named after a Gerry Anderson comic. Another impressive piece of trivia is that guitarist Ally Palmer is responsible for  curating the Scottish football magazine Nutmeg. I suspect Rol will be aware of the first trivia reference but totally oblivious to the second.

(How right you are. - Rol.)

8 - Bob Dylan - LoveMinus Zero/No Limit

One of the lesser known songs off his 1965 album Bringing it All Back Home.

Described as a hallucinatory allegiance, a poetic turn that exposes the paradoxes of love 

As you would expect, swiftly name checked by The Swede.

7 - Sonny Boy Williamson II - Nine Below Zero

Yes, there were two. The original was John Lee Curtis with number two who is featured here being Alex Miller or Aleck Ford. All very confusing.

(Yeah, you lost me. I'm going to ask George to explain that sentence to me. - Rol.)

Nine Below Zero is also the name of an English Blues band who formed in 1977 and who I saw play on a couple of occasions at Strathclyde Students Union.

6- Isobel Campbell -Below Zero

A lovely song from the album There Is No Other, the first solo album for 14 years from the former Belle and Sebastian chanteuse and Mark Lanegan collaborator. A welcome return.

5 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs -Zero

The opening track from It’s Blitz the third album by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs from 2010.

It was also the first single from the album.

4 - Jill Jackson -Back to Zero

The title track from the 2011 debut solo album by Paisley lass and former Speedway frontwoman Jill Jackson, an artist who I know that Rol has a bit of a soft spot for.

(Indeed. - Rol.)

3 - Public Enemy  - She Watches Channel Zero ?!

A splendid racket and a splendid diatribe by Public Enemy from their seminal album It takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. As topical now as it was on its release in 1988.

In the words of Chuck D...

I don't think I can handle

She goes channel to channel

Cold lookin' for that hero

She watch channel zero

2 - Joan Armatrading  - Down to Zero

A seriously underrated artist . A track from her eponymous 3rd album from 1976 which also contains the brilliant Love and Affection. The compilation album Track Record is an ideal introduction to her work.

1 - Elvis Costello -Less Than Zero 

No shocks, no surprises. None of the others come close.

I suspect that from the get go most of you would have had this down as the number one

The 1977 debut single from the debut album My Aim is True which introduced the world to the prodigious talent that is Elvis Costello.

Thanks for taking up the baton, CC. You get no argument from me on any of those, especially not the worthy (and only!) Number One.

Of course, that's not to stop anyone else coming up with a second list of Zero Songs, if they think they've got 'em. The doors are always open...

Saturday Snapshots #145 - The Answers

Here's a Bombshell - the answers to yesterday's Snapshots. Hopefully it wasn't too much a Longshot for you...



10. Protect with pads. Tra la la.

Footballers protect their shins with pads.

The Shins - Simple Song

9.  Stop mucking about - this is relevant!

Relevant = germane.

Jermaine Jackson - Let's Get Serious

8. Fast forest apple elephant.

Fast = fleet. Forest = wood. Elephant = tusk.

Too easy.

Fleetwood Mac - Tusk

Doesn't really sound like anything else Fleetwood Mac ever did... or anyone else, for that matter. I love that there was a time when tracks like this were hits. And why the hell is it called Tusk?

No, don't tell me, it'll only spoil it.

7. Norse computer brand offers contradictory directions.

The computer I use to compile this feature every week is a Dell. Vikings were Norse men.

The Del Vikings - Come Go With Me

Come? Go? Make up your mind.

6. Tongue twisting rain chatter.

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry - Talk About The Weather

5. Out of focus, but can be plugged in anywhere.

A universal adapter can be plugged in anywhere.

Blur - The Universal

Second greatest Blur song ever.

4. Drumming medic alienates frog.

I honestly forgot who this was between compiling the competition and coming to do the answer's post. It took me ages to pick apart than anagram. I don't know how you guys do it so quickly each week.

Gloria Estefan - Dr. Beat

Considering the serious artist Gloria became, it's worth watching this video to see how wacky she was in her earlier days.

3. Phone company gets philosophical.

Talk Talk - Life's What You Make It

2. Where Warren considered afterlife activities, Bob just wanted the exit... by air, presumably.

Warren Zevon was looking for Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.

Bob Seger just wanted to Get Out Of Denver.

We all know the tragic irony of Leaving On A Jet Plane.

John Denver - Leaving On A Jet Plane

I never get tired of hearing that.

1. Forced romance by highest ranking attractions.

"I'm gonna make you love me!"

"Restraining order, please."

Highest ranking is supreme, attractions are temptations.

This is audio perfection... although it's interesting that Eddie Kendricks has a higher voice than Diana Ross.



The Monster returns next Saturday. Until then, keep driving Fury Road...