We watched Dynasty back in the 80s, but nobody in the family really enjoyed it that much. It was always a poor man's Dallas, without a JR or a Bobby or even a Cliff Barnes to engage your empathy. Joan Collins was Joan Collins and the rest of them kind of faded into the wallpaper. Apart from Heather Locklear, but she was much sweeter in The Fall Guy.
The word "Dynasty" gets mentioned in thousands of songs, so I limited myself to references that were definitely about the show. Most of them pronounce it "die-nasty", as the Americans do, rather than our softer British "din-asty".
As a starter, I offer you Estelle...
I grew up in the 1980s
In a four bedroom house
My family, my grandma, three or four aunties
Uncles and brothers in and out of prison daily
Certain times when there was no heat you stay under covers
So then we moved up
Thought I was the Fresh Prince
Dynasty was re-runs and Dallas was faded
With three beds this time and six kids still
We got a dog and yes that dog loved to shit
I think they edited the version on youtube to make that last line more radio friendly.
Next, here's Weird Al, with a parody of a Soul Asylum song (not the one you know)...
Think I'm losin' my sanity
I'm addicted to Regis and Kathie Lee
Forever I will always be
Glued to my TV
Love "The Partridge Family"
And "Dynasty"
And "Laverne and Shirley"
And "Hard Copy"
John Kay was the lead singer of Steppenwolf, a band you probably didn't know were still going in the 90s... by which time, John had got his name on the posters.
I want the high life on TV
Just like they do on Dynasty
To live a life fit for a king
And have the best of everything
Here's a song I really didn't like in the 80s, mainly because Karel Fialka got his young step-son in to do some of the vocals, and as a teenager, "I hated little kids".
I see Dallas, Dynasty, Terrahawks,
He-Man, Tom and Jerry, Dukes of Hazzard,
Airwolf, Blue Thunder, Rambo, Road Runner,
Daffy Duck, The A-Team, The A-Team, I see the A-Team.
(That's the next 12 weeks sorted.)
More 80's PTSD flashbacks right here...
Dallas dollars limousines
Debutantes and Dynasty
Here's a dream that money buys
Late to bed and late to rise
Shout out to Linda Evans, Joan Collins' arch nemesis on the show...
She told her friends that one day she would be the movie queen
Like Krystle Carrington
And pay her weekly visit to the top beautician
And to Joan herself, of course...
Alexis Carrington wouldn't give her love to Blake
Without a warning sign, no
So what makes you think that I
Would give my love to you one more time
And here's one for old John Forsythe...
Girls on the block call me a black Blake Carrington
Handsome as hell, I dress real swell
By the tone of my voice maybe you can tell that I
Shampoo with Prell and live life well
Once again, there was an obvious winner today...
You don't have to watch Dynasty
To have an attitude...
Looking for a perfect 80's pop song? I'm sure you'll agree this is hard to beat. Prince's record company didn't quite agree though. They didn't want to release it as a single. Which makes me want to start a new feature called, "Record Companies Are Idiots". That one could run and run.
I had been wondering when Karel Fialka was going to make an appearance.
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