So sang George Bernard Shaw with his 21st Century Canadian dream-pop band... or perhaps I'm mixing up my sources. The insane pop culture reference library that is my brain is getting a little clogged up with an abundance of trivia... no chance of remembering what I'm having for tea tonight then.
When we’re young, we have all the time in the world… and yet we fritter it away. We don’t realise how valuable it is, because life seems endless. So we do whatever the hell we want and don’t worry about tomorrow. Many’s the pop song that has been written about this subject, but this is the one that best captures that sense of youthful headonism… or it’s the first that springs to mind today, anyway.
I don't recall many nights like the ones Nate Ruess sings about there. A few, I guess, but not as many as most. I spent a large part of my wasted youth chasing the twin fantasies of a radio career and best-selling authordom.
And it's important to remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again."
The only problem with inspirational quotes (and Crazy Eleanor had a box full of them) is that they don't work on the terminally cynical. Still, they obviously made an impression on Jim...
We've gotta' fast, we were born out of time Born out of time and alone And we'll never be as young as we are right now Runnin' away and runnin' for home
All yesterday's songs were about famous artists. Let me paint you a picture of the answers...
Special mention must go to the amazing Jonathan Richman who has written more songs about famous artists than anyone else. But he's featured here recently, and I'm running out of clues that link back to him...
No prizes for guessing that week 42 of our countdown would be illustrated by Level 42, though Walter did suggest Love Games as a less obvious song choice than Running With The Family or Lessons in Love.
Level 42 took their name from Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in which an enormous supercomputer called Deep Thought took 7.5 million years to work out "the meaning of life, the universe and everything". The answer it came up with was 42.
The songs my own giant super-computer (i.e. you guys) came up with for the number 42 were as follows...
C kicked us off with a certain lady whose measurements were 42-39-56 (I never understood lady's measurements, but very little imagination is needed here)...
It was Alyson, however, who raised the issue of 42nd Street, so certain I wouldn't be making a stop there this week. As she says...
Of course I know it's not going to be your pick, but the song 42nd Street has been around for nearly ninety years and was written by Harry Warren, who has been mentioned often over at my place as he certainly was prolific, and wrote many of the songs covered by other artists over the decades (I Only Have Eyes For You a favourite of mine). Also the Ruby Keeler story is one that never goes away, it just gets updated for a new generation.
Although Alyson is correct that the original 42nd Street song won't be this week's selection, I did find a number of other songs that stopped off on that particular thoroughfare, including...
Well, that didn't take you long, did it? Well done to all who took part - a true group effort this week. Although poor old Brian didn't even get a look in. Maybe I'll start later in the day next Saturday. I like to think I'll make it harder next week, but every time I think that you all raise your games anyway.
Here's the answers, and a brief explanation of the answers... plus ten top tunes. Check them out if you're not already familiar with them. Guaranteed: no lemons.
10. This Russian waterway gets metafictional.
I didn't actually know that the Okkervil River is in St. Petersburg until I researched this. Apparently the band take their name from a short story by Russian author Tatyana Tolstaya set on that particular waterway. Lynchie's suggestion of The Okkervil River Song was pretty metafictional, but Charity Chic named the actual tune...
Martin recognised Liam Lynch, but couldn't work out the song. Like Liam Lynch had any other hits? To be fair, Liam did have some other pretty good songs. And it's not as though I'm sticking only to chart hits on this quiz. But still... d'oh, indeed, Martin. Glad the penny finally dropped.
5. Are these guys getting spiritual... or are they just full of hot air? God above knows.
The 5th Dimension is the spiritual one, apparently. Hot air balloon, obviously. Written by Jimmy Webb, who the Boo Radleys and I both agree is God. Above? Up...
1. She's like a wonder of time, poised on the cusp of Just Janis.
Stevie... like a Wonder? In the Nicks of time? On the cusp = edge of Just Seventeen (teen girl's pop mag from back in the day). Janis... not Joplin, but Ian, who sang At Seventeen.
Well done, C.
By the way, the video for this is even madder than Stevie Nicks herself...
Right, enough of the quizzes. Maybe tomorrow I'll write an actual post...
(Don't worry, the snapshots will be back next Saturday.)
I never had a paper round when I was a kid. I did, however, have a special fascination with the newsagents where I bought my weekly Spider-Man comics... I even went and interviewed the owner, Mr. Hudson, about his job, for a school project.
Here are ten songs about getting your papers delivered... which, I guess, not many people do these days. Bloody internet.
Special mention to Eli 'Paperboy' Reed, someone who's definitely worthy of further investigation, if Name Calling is anything to go by.
Graham Fellows never fails to make me laugh. I love his description of getting his papers from the newsagents...
I walk into the paper shop And say good morning, Keith "Good morning, Keith!" "Good afternoon!" Keith would shout. Keith marked the papers out A boy called Gary helped him But he just pissed about.
A lonely housewife who imagines herself as Elizabeth Taylor has an eye on the paper boy while her husband's out at work. Does exactly what it says on the tin.
OK, here's my discovery of the week. While researching this post, even though I had loads of songs to go at from my own collection, I couldn't think of any that featured Paper Girls. So I did a little search and came up with this Canadian alt-rock band who are pretty amazing. In fact, I just bought their first album. Can't afford their second one (from last year) just yet, but it'll be on my wishlist if the tracks I've heard so far are anything to go by. Love the mix of vocals by Leah Fay and Peter Dreimanis, who sounds not unlike this next gentleman...
Not the Whitney Houston song... but wouldn't it be cool if Tom covered that?
Anyway, here he gets up so early that everyone's sleeping but the paper boys... poor kids are gonna be scared out of their wits if they bump into Tom on their round.
Much has been made lately of the fact that Morrissey is actually a bit of a dick. Even my (local) poetry hero Simon Armitage, on his recent 6Music show, after saying how Morrissey and Dylan were the two songwriters he felt were closest to being actual poets... then went on to remark, "Morrissey, who I had the great pleasure of meeting earlier this year... hmm." Never meet your heroes, Simon!
Anyway, despite all this, Moz will always be the second most important songwriter in my record collection, and I'll always love him for songs like this... which at the time of its release spoke to me more than just about any other song I'd ever heard.
I was a good kid, I wouldn't do you no harm, I was a nice kid, With a nice paper round Forgive me any pain, I may have brung to you, With God's help I know, I'll always be near to you...
There are whole websites devoted to the lyrics of American Pie. I'm not sure why, its meaning seems pretty straightforward to me: the British Invasion stealing away the American monopoly on rock 'n' roll soon after Buddy Holly's death. It all begins though with a very young Don delivering the fateful headlines that mark "the day the music died". No wonder February made him shiver.
1. David Bowie - Modern Love
Of course, we should never take Bowie's lyrics literally. However, the intro to Modern Love always puts a very specific image in my head of the Dame chasing after his paper boy, presumably for chucking his copy of the Observer into the rose bushes outside Bowie Towers one time too many. He knows when to stay in; he knows when to go out... he definitely knows how to catch a paper boy.
If your paper round went past David Bowie's house, you'd have probably wished he would chase after you. That'd be the equivalent of having Prince turn up on your doorstep on a Sunday morning with a copy of Watchtower.
There are hundreds of songs that feature the word "mountain" in their title, and climbing mountains as a way of demonstrating your love is one of the biggest songwriting clichés going. But these are my favourite songs about specific mountains, ones you could actually go climb... if you so wished.
Turns
out there are dozens of Mount Washingtons in North America - 15 in the
USA alone, plus one in Canada. They'd all have to go some to be as
beautiful as Beth Orton's song though.
Another Welsh mountain, otherwise known as Twmpa (hence "Could this be heaven, would that be the Severn? Twmpa, Twmpa, you’re gonna need a jumper"), inspires one of Nigel Blackwell's many songs about hill-walking and mountain-climbing... with a smattering of innuendo to warm the cockles.
Ever since the chattering classes invaded Hebden Bridge
And priced the likes of me and mine
To the pots of the Pennine Ridge
To South East Wales I was forced to flee
And now I have no job
That’s why tonight I’m sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
See also Kilimanjaro by the Teardrop Explodes which is a classic album, although the title track wasn't on the original track listing and isn't available to link to anywhere on t'internet.
And now for something even older than The Mountains of Mourne - a truly majestic piece of Classical music, though there's some debate over whether the Russian translation of the title should be 'bare' or 'bald'... or, indeed, whether the version we're all familiar with owes slightly more to Rimsky-Korsakov than Mussorgsky. I don't claim to be an expert.
1. The Supernaturals - Everest
The world's biggest mountain... and one of the best songs the Supernaturals ever recorded, gently mocking the whole "my love is bigger than a mountain" metaphor mentioned earlier.
I bought a goldfish to keep me company In these dark days when you're not here with me I walk round Safeway on my own Look in the freezer cabinet, see my reflection and I'm all alone You dropped me like a waitress drops a tray...
Those were my SPECIFIC mountain songs... remember, Ain't No Mountain High Enough doesn't count.
Back to my tour of the USA. There are hundreds of songs with "America" in the title, so I needed to narrow the focus. Here's ten about American music, some by American bands... others decidedly not.
Some Brits get sniffy about American music, citing the Beatles (yawn, among others) as a reason to keep it homegrown. Me, I've always had one foot on either side of the Atlantic when it comes to my listening habits.
From the album American Demo, still one of my favourite records of the 21st Century... so far.
How many British bands made the lyrics below their mission statement... no matter the consequences?
When they pin me to the wall I'll say:
I'm with America
With godless America, I'll stand and I'll fall
Though it cuts me to my soul that
It must be America
It must be America
Or nothing at all.
Could well have been Number #1, but I like to be unpredictable.
Best thing about American Pie? All the insane, crackpot interpretations that read hidden meanings into every single line. If you've got a spare year, google them for a laugh.
And now we reach the more celebratory part of our countdown. The Cougar's tribute to 60s American rock. Never fails to make me happy.
There was Frankie Lyman-Bobby Fuller-Mitch Ryder (They were Rockin')
Jackie Wilson-Shangra-las-Young Rascals (They were Rockin')
Spotlight on Martha Reeves
Let's don't forget James Brown
Quite possibly the maddest "song" (spoken word narrative) in my record collection. Jim Steinman at his most insane. He doesn't even have Meat Loaf to temper / translate his craziness here. It's just pure Steinman loony-genius. With the best punchline in the history of rock.
Or something.
On the original, ill-fated Steinman solo album (originally supposed to be Meat's follow-up to Bat Out Of Hell, but Meat had a sore throat so Captain Barking decided to record it himself), this leads straight into the classic Stark Raving Love, the melody of which JS would later disembowel to create Holding Out For A Hero for Bonnie Tyler. Just in case you're one of the two people reading this blog who looks at more than just the artist and song title.
1. Grand Funk Railroad - We're An American Band
Does exactly what it says on the tin.
We're coming to your town We'll help you party it down We're an American band
So, these are the rules - it has to be a song about America and about music. Which is top of your Billboard Hot One Hundred?
Dar Williams wanders around a gallery with a friend, admires the Renoirs and muses on the sad death of Mark Rothko. Some folks were born with a foot in the grave...
And I dream of Michelangelo when I'm lying in my bed
I see god upon the ceiling I see angels overhead
And he seems so close as he reaches out his hand
But we are never quite as close as we are led to understand
Manchester's most beloved artist, L S Lowry, gave local lads Brian & Michael (aka Michael Coleman and... erm... Kevin Parrott) an unexpected Number One at the height of punk in 1978. The charts used to be SO much more unpredictably interesting than they are now.
I make no secret of the fact that I consider Jimmy Webb one of the greatest songwriters to ever walk the earth, although his songs are usually more famous when performed by others. This one's all Jimmy though. Lovely.
In which Mr. Richman finds a truly wonderful rhyme for the name of one of the art world's most famous sons...
Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Jonathan Richman also wrote a song about Van Gogh. But someone else beat him to that...
1. Paul Simon - Rene & Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War
I always thought that was a funny name for a dog.
A beautifully evocative tribute to not only the Belgian surrealist painter, his missus and their dog... but also a host of 50s doo-wop bands Simon imagines might populate the Magritte's record collection.
I also found songs about Dali, Hopper and Toulouse Lautrec... but which one is hanging on your wall?
