Snapshots #232: A Top Ten Fifty Songs

Now that I am 50, I no longer need to pretend to be down wiv da kidz. Still, it makes me feel slightly better to know that Curtis 'Fiddy Cent' Jackson is only three years behind me. Snoop Dogg turn 50 last year. And Eminem will be 50 in October! 

Despite being 50, I only have ten answers for you today...

10. No, your bum doesn't look big in those jeans. And I love what you've done with your hair.

They're all White Lies.

White Lies - Fifty On Our Foreheads

9. Les Enfants Terribles.

Written by Jean Cocteau.

The Cocteau Twins - Fifty-Fifty Clown

8. Holy onomatopoeia, Batman!

Biff Bang Pow! - Fifty Years Of Fun

7. Duchess meets two former presidents.

Kate is the Duchess, Bushes were the presidents.

Kate Bush - Fifty Words For Snow

6. Undergrounds.

The Tubes - Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman

5. Scouts and capitalists.

Venture Scouts or Venture Capitalists?

The Ventures - Hawaii Five-0

4. Main enema.

Unfortunate anagram.

Aimee Mann - Fifty Years After The Fair

3. Get the rope, Harry, and untangle it.

"Rope, Harry," was another angram.

Roy Harper - These Fifty Years

2. Catboy, Owlette and Gekko wear masks; Alex is Sensational without one.

Catboy, Owlette and Gekko are the PJ Masks. You've got to keep up on your kids cartoons.

The Sensational Alex... Harvey, of course.

PJ Harvey - 50 ft Queenie

1. When Owen Met Carly.

Owen Paul meet Carly Simon...

The problem is all inside your head

She said to me

Remember when we did the Hot 100 Countdown together? Seems like so long ago. Not quite fifty years, mind.

Anyway, more Snapshots next week. Unless I've taken early retirement.

Saturday Snapshots #38 - The Answers

Yesterday, all the answers seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay...


Due to holidays in the sun, I can't award points in the post today, but I'll try to congratulate the winners in the comments section later (wifi permitting).



10. The sound of double strength executives. I can do a pretty good William Shatner.

Mighty x 2 + boss + tones.

You... all... WANT... to.... hearmyWilliamShatnerimpressionnow, don't you?

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get

9. American settlers go west - confidently agreeing and denying.

American settlers who went west were pioneers - Yeah or No?

The Pioneers - Let Your Yeah Be Yeah (And Your No Be No)

8. Limited Garfunkel - York or Hoffs?

Art Ltd... or The Art Company.

York and Hoffs were both Susannas.

The Art Company - Susanna

(Great cheesy 80s video for that one.)

7. Acoustic newt gets mixed up with a pirate.

Acoustic newt is a rather fetching anagram for The Cocteau Twins.

Bluebeard was a pirate.

The Cocteau Twins - Bluebeard

6. Khaki, Russet & Beige are ringing.

The Browns - Three Bells

5. A fuzzy second.

Blur - Song 2

4. Shh! Existential violets.

Deep Purple - Hush

3. One for you, one for me, dear. Comparable to an outlaw.

Share and Cher alike, my dear.

"Come on, baby, show me what that loaded gun is for..."

Always the subtle one, that Cher.

Cher - Just Like Jesse James

2. The patron saint of road rage gets blown away.

Saint Christopher gets Cross.

Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind

1. Whipping flittermouse ponders Twin Peaks mystery.

The big mystery in Twin Peaks was who killed Laura Palmer.

A flittermouse is a bat.




With A Little Luck, Saturday Snapshots will return next week.

My Top Ten Las Vegas Songs

It's been a while since I went off on my American road trip. Let's take a quick stop in the city of sin...


Special mentions to Terry Hall and Dave Stewart's Vegas, Dirty Vegas and Death In Vegas. 


10. Tony Christie - Las Vegas

Las Vegas will be the death of Tony. He should have stayed in Sheffield.

9. Cocteau Twins - Heaven Or Las Vegas

The Cocteau Twinshave to be the least Vegas act on this list. Extra points for that.

8. Sheryl Crow - Leaving Las Vegas

Moody, poorly lit video saved by the flying Elvises.

7. Sleeper - Vegas

In which Louise Wener plays air hostess to a plane load of Elvis impersonators. What else do you need to know?

6. Meat Loaf - Elvis in Vegas

Fifteen year old Marvin Lee Aday snuck out his bedroom window and hitched a ride to Vegas to see the King. It obviously had a profound effect...

5. Tom Waits - Straight To The Top (Vegas)

Grizzly Tom turns loungebar act, channeling Sinatra with style: sax, golf clubs and fez-wearing piano player included for extra effect.

4. Drive-By Truckers - Checkout Time In Vegas

The Truckers write songs like mini movie scripts. Here they arrive in Vegas with "a bloody nose, empty pockets, a rented car with a trunk full of guns", which is a great set up for any thriller. They save the best line till later though...

They'll be after me by the time the buffet closes...

3. Brandon Flowers - Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas

The Killers hail from Vegas and much of their music reflects the glitz, glamour and gaudiness of their home. But Brandon waited till his solo album to unveil this particular love letter, named after the sign that welcomes all visitors to town.

The sun sets and you're afraid of that itching in your skin
You stumble down the boulevard of neon encrusted temple
You're looking for the grace of God in the arms of a fellow stranger
Disciples hand you catalogs of concubines
As you stumble down the boulevard crying "Hosanna"

Welcome to fabulous
Welcome to fabulous 
Las Vegas
Give us your dreamers, your harlots and your sin
Las Vegas
Didn't nobody tell you the house will always win?

2. Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris - Ooh Las Vegas

Gram was obviously much enamoured by Vegas... he also wrote the excellent Sin City as part of the Flying Burrito Brothers.

1. Elvis Presley - Viva Las Vegas

Yeah, it was a no-brainer. Many fine versions of this song, including Bruce Springsteen, The Dead Kennedys and ZZ Top (featuring a familiar ghost), but there's only one king.

Credit to Elvis for carrying on recording this sequence even though he's lost a couple of buttons from his shirt.You know how embarrassing that can be.




Which one's gonna set your soul on fire?

My Top Ten Alice... Songs

I was planning a Top Ten Alice In Wonderland Songs, but there were so many good tracks, I had to split them into two lists. Today then, Songs With Alice In The Title (not all of them the Wonderland girl, but most of them touched by her in one way or another). Next post... Wonderland (and its inhabitants).


10. Cocteau Twins - Alice

I should be a bigger Cocteau Twins fan than I am. They made some beautiful music in their time.

9. Smokie - Living Next Door To Alice

This might have made it higher up the chart, were it not for the 1995 remake featuring Roy 'Chubbie' Brown. Serious points deducted for that.

8. Sleeper - Alice In Vain

Alice in the playground
She ain’t got a boyfriend
Oh oh that’s a pity
She’s not even pretty
Alice hears them whisper
They smile when they see her
Oh, oh she’ll discover
Girls don’t hurt each other

7. The Sisters of Mercy - Alice

Alice in her party dress
She thanks you kindly
So serene
She needs you like she needs her tranqs

Sounding like a goth Bowie on this song, the mighty Andrew Eldritch. Where is he now? Still in the go, apparently. But with much shorter hair.

6. Alice Cooper - Hard Hearted Alice

Of course, Alice Cooper has made far better records, both as a band and as a solo artist. But this is the only one I could find with Alice in the title, so check it out. It's the mellow side of Coops... surprisingly sweet.

5. Ben Folds Five - Alice Childress

After many years as a solo artist, Ben has reformed the Ben Folds Five (all three of them) for a tour later this year. Not sure I can afford tickets, but it'd be great to see the band back together playing songs like this again.

4. Grinderman - Electric Alice

Don't the stars look good tonight
Thought Electric Alice
In the pale moonlight

From Nick Cave... to Stevie Nicks...

3. Stevie Nicks - Alice

Like Alice through the Looking Glass...
She used to know who she was

2. Terrorvision - Alice, What's The Matter?

Keighley's finest. Not that there's a whole lot of competition for that title.

1. Tom Waits - Alice

Written with Kathleen Brennan, Waits' dreamy song is dedicated to Alice Liddell, the girl who inspired Lewis Carroll to write Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.



Back soon with my 'In Wonderland' Top Ten... meanwhile, which song with Alice in the title sends you to Wonderland?