We were lucky that Sam and I had misaligned holidays this Easter, so while he's back at school this week, I'm still off... allowing Louise and I the rare luxury of getting away to the Peak District for a couple of days peace and quiet. (Sam is being looked after by appropriate adults, in case you're on the phone to Child Services.)
So this is what passes for our Honeymoon. Appropriate (and inappropriate) tunes will follow...
Paul Hampton - Two Hour Honeymoon (Definitely the most bizarre thing you'll hear today!)
I will, of course, be following the advice below to the letter...
Don't ski naked down Mt. Everest
With lilies up your nose
Don't punt up the Ganges in a vest
And holler 'Thar she blows'
Don't fish for tunny in Meat Madras
With blotting pads as bait
Don't converse with shrimps of higher class
About the church and state
Don't dance the polka in a dhoti
Arid whistle the right of Spring
Don't recite Hamlet's soliloquy
While munching onion rings
Don' t plant a stickleback in a field
On St.Augustine's Day
Don' t sharpen your sword and beat your shield
And somersault up a brae
Don' t build a pyramid on the pole
With Frosties packets and glue
Don' t serve rubber bullets in a bowl
And call it Irish Stew
Don' t change all the water into wine
And walk on the Dead Sea
Never sing the Song of the Golden Rhine
With an augmented flea
