The temperature's been zooming up and down so much lately that it robbed half of Spain and Portugal of electricity... and we hate to think of our Portuguese correspondent without the necessary means to read this blog.
Here are some hot songs and some cold ones... let's see if we can arrive at a happy medium before summer.
This is Father Francis Browne, Irish priest and photographer, famous for his photos of the Titanic on its maiden voyage... though lucky for him, he only sailed from Southampton to Queenstown in Ireland, before getting off to go develop his film.
Father Browne is going to lead us in the Lord's Prayer this Sunday morning. Please bow your heads...
I don't want to live in a world without Tina Turner.
I realise that's a sweeping statement, especially considering I've only mentioned her name 18 times since this blog began, which is nothing compared to many of the artists who pop up here. But when I think about the legends we've lost in this blog's lifetime - Bowie and Prince being the biggest, but then we get onto Aretha, Tom Petty, Chuck Berry, Meat Loaf, Glen Campbell, George Michael... all the rest... well, Tina's up there with the best of them. She is a legend, and growing up in the 80s, she was always there, with her huge hair, her enormous smile, her high-kicking, sassy-strutting legs, the lips that could give Jagger a run for his money, the sheer charisma and star quality that transcended the music and made her seem untouchable, immortal.
And then there's the music. So many great songs, or (particularly in the latter part of her career) songs that would have been average if given to any other performer, but Tina made them live. Of course, average is not the word for the song below, recorded when she was just 27 in 1966, but still one of the greatest performances ever committed to vinyl.
Ike had nothing to do with that one. He just did a deal with Spector to take his usual cut of the money. The record itself was considered a flop at the time. We all know the stories. They're part of the legend. And legends shouldn't ever die. They should stay alive forever.
Tina Turner's name gets dropped in hundreds of pop songs. The majority of them are rap records which occasionally make reference to her turbulent private life, but more often channel her as a metaphor for strength, resilience and power. Here's one that doesn't quite do all that, but I dug it anyway...
Beyond rap, here are a few tunes that will help maintain her legacy, starting with a typically self-effacing (!) tribute from Little Richard himself...
Ike and Tina Turner got an earthquake sound
But I'm the man from Macon and I'm gonna put 'em down!
Rod and Tina probably did have tea together after recording the tune below... which isn't as good as the original (because nothing could be), but it's better than you remember...
Today's final song, I had in mind from the start. It's the best track from my 17th favourite record of last year, and it seems the most appropriate to play on the day we mourn another lost legend...
Far more column inches would be devoted to Phil Spector's musical legacy this week... had the rest of his life been so filled with ignominy.
How often do you get to use a word like ignominy? The chance to do so was the final tipping point in my decision to compile this Top Ten. Little Stevie Van Zandt put it best earlier this week...
RIP Phil Spector. A genius irredeemably conflicted, he was the ultimate example of the Art always being better than the Artist, having made some of the greatest records in history based on the salvation of love while remaining incapable of giving or receiving love his whole life.
Let's put aside Spector the man and remember instead some of his finest creations...
A much-derided album, described by Rolling Stone as "the world's most flamboyant extrovert producing and arranging the world's most fatalist introvert" and by Leonard Cohen himself as "grotesque". It's not among my favourite Lenny records and parts of it plain don't work, but the title track (and a couple of others) are mesmerising if you devote enough time to them.
Some people don't like this song because of the whole "Krishna, Krishna" bit. Others call to attention the court case where Harrison was sued for "subconsciously" ripping off He's So Fine by The Chiffons. But people are generally wrong, I find, and this song never grows old.
The forgotten entry in Spector's back catalogue, yet still achingly beautiful. I remember reading a review of this album when it was re-issued in 2001, hunting it down and falling head over heels in love.
If aliens picked up transmissions from earth and these two songs were what they heard, they'd leave us alone because clearly we are a superior civilization.
Imagine having these three songs in your back catalogue and not being as big a household name as The Beatles, The Stones or David Bowie? There is no justice in the world.
When you don't have a Guest Post, go with a Stressed Post.
Here's Steve Mason, getting rather stressed when his musical heroes like John Lydon and Iggy Pop take the advertising dollar...
Johnny and The Idiot pissing on a dream
And obviously, I hate it when my favourite songs end up in TV commercials too.
Then again, I used to work in advertising, and from time to time I would have to call up agents and publishers and try to get the rights to famous songs to use in radio ads. My biggest success was getting There's Nothing Like This by Omar into a campaign for a Kitchens & Bathrooms company. (Never managed to sell them a track by Kitchens of Distinction.) If I remember rightly, it was Omar's brother-in-law who was his agent, and Omar was more than happy to take the cash.
I lost count of the number of idiots who asked me to get Simply The Best by Tina Turner for their fireplace showroom, used Honda dealership or honey glazed donut shop... even after Ricky Gervais took the piss out of that notion in The Office.
On the office wall where I used to work, I pinned a famous Bill Hicks quote, to remind me every day just what I was doing with my life...
But do you know what? I'd go back to that job in a heartbeat if it was still there. I didn't know how good I had it.
