You can pretty much tell AI didn't come up with that image, can't you? What can I say, I'm an old-fashioned guy, and I wanted a picture of a square dude holding a camera. Unlike yesterday when I showed you one of the residents of Albert's Square holding a camera.
All in aid of - with great thanks to our resident Maths teacher, George, for suggesting the theme and many of the tunes - songs about Square Numbers. Working our way from the square of 15... down to the square of 1.
There was another One D... band I could have chosen to illustrate the final edition in the Hot 100 Countdown... fortunately, Swiss Adam saved me from having to go there when he suggested One Dove.
I've been dreading this week since I started this countdown, way way back in January 2018. (Yes, I've been at this for more than two years.)
Partly because I knew there would be thousands of potential ONE songs.
Partly because I knew it'd be impossible to find them amidst all the BlutONES and UndertONES songs, and all the songs about bones and phones; everyone, anyone and no one; money and baloney.
I didn't dread it because I wondered what the winner would be though. I've known that since January 2018.
Before you dismiss it completely, let's not forget that it was written by Nik Kershaw, and came from a movie in which Roger Daltrey played Chezzer's dad.
And, while we're on the subject of Ones & Only... and Only Ones, for that matter... I may as well re-direct you back to this, from way back in 2013...
George will be disappointed to see that Huey Lewis only got to #2 in that countdown. And he was beaten by The Charlatans, for Pete's sake... what was I thinking?
I think it's fair to say I haven't heard that since 1982. However, I was 10 in 1982, and I seem to recall being quite a fan. If you'd asked me, I'd have said this actually won Eurovision that year, but it didn't. It was beaten by Nicole. Still, neither of them were in the same league as the 1981 winners. Witness my nascent sexual awakening at 1 minute 32 seconds on that video.
You may have noticed I'm holding off on the lists this week, folks. There's a reason for that. Over to C...
Blimey Rol, incredible stuff. This must be like a full-time job - perhaps you should charge us for your services to blogging? I'm not even going to add anything, happy just to see what comes up.
The truth is, C, last week nearly broke me. And the prospect of copying and pasting all the one suggestions... and then finding links for the bloody things... I just couldn't take it!
And then Lynchie said this...
Rol - I think you should turn this series into a book.
I would ask who'd read it... but I guess you guys have answered that question over the past two and a half years. For which, I will be eternally grateful... but not so grateful that I could face the colossal workload of this final post.
And then, after whittling his shortlist down to 600, The Swede came to my rescue...
Here's what's left from my hard-drives. Sorry there are so many - for gawd's sake don't post them all!
Do you know what, Swede? That's the best advice I've been given in all my blogging career.
What I'm going to do instead is choose ONE song from each contributor... beyond the ones suggested above.
If anybody cares to see the full list of suggestions, you can do so here.
(Part of me thinks I should have instituted a filtration policy such as this weeks ago.)
Finally, as seems only fitting, here's my Number One contributor... at least in terms of the number of suggestions he's submitted during the lifetime of this series... The Swede.
Just pitching the one this week, mostly because it must surely be the winner...
How right you are, Martin.
(Special mention to Lynchie who guessed the original version, a worthy runner-up.)
As I said at the start, I knew this song would be the winner of the final week of my Hot 100 even before I published the first post. It is, quite simply, perfect...
Which brings us to the end of this feature.
I sometimes wondered if I'd ever reach the end, but I'm glad I did. Chalk it up as another of life's little accomplishments... and thank you all again for playing along. It wouldn't have been half as much fun... and I definitely wouldn't have made it this far... without your contributions.
Final word goes to The Swede...
A thought occurred whilst mulling... I trust you'll be doing a final entry the week after next for zeroes?
Now I don't like to be one to disappoint, Swede, but I just can't face that right now. (Neither can I face "Half Songs" or "Quarter Songs" or anything else, for that matter. If I never see another number again, it'll be too soon.)
However - that's not to say I won't welcome your contributions. If anyone wants to compile a Top Ten Zero Songs and submit it for Guest Post Thursday, I will be happy to let you have the space.
I have got an idea for a feature to replace this one, and I'll be kicking that off in a couple of weeks' time. I've been itching to get to it for at least a year now... and it will require your suggestions (though I'm hoping it won't lead to quite so many as the last few weeks of the Hot 100 has). I hope you'll join me and play along...
