Snapshots #443: Sad Songs

All the best songs are sad songs... discuss.

15. She has natural recall.

"Natural recall" was an anagram.

Laura Cantrell - Pile of Woe

14. Wilson, Eagle and Confessor.

Jackie Wilson plus Eddie the Eagle Edwards and Edward the Confessor.

Jackie Edwards - I Feel So Bad

13. Switched on Doors album.

The Electric Soft Parade - No Need To Be Downhearted

12. Ocean getaway.

Billy Ocean needs a holiday.

Billie Holiday - Gloomy Sunday

And while we're on the subject of Billy Ocean, this came very close to inclusion but was judged too obvious by the selection committee...

Billy Ocean - There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)

11. Foreigner Lou meets opinionated NME journalist.

Foreigner's lead singer is Lou Gramm. The opinionated NME scribe was Tony Parsons.

Gram Parsons - Return of the Grievous Angel

10. A spell-catcher... a bit like Wilson.

A witch, a bit like Wilson Pickett.

Pickettywitch (It's Like A) Sad Old Kinda Movie

9. This meths has really messed me up. 

This meths was clearly an anagram. And yes, I know The Smiths only appeared here a few weeks ago, but they had two excellent songs to share. First, the really obvious one...

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now 

And then this one...

The Smiths - Unhappy Birthday

Plus most of the rest of their back catalogue.

8. Someone get the key to help Henry out.

Quick! It sounds like Hank's locked in!

Hank Locklin - I Feel A Cry Coming On

7. Because I'm useless, I'll never work this one out.

As previously mentioned, I lack Self Esteem.

Self Esteem - Moody

6. Nice guy, causes a chain reaction.

Nice Guy Eddie and the hot rods in an nuclear reactor...

Eddie & The Hotrods - Teenage Depression

5. Turner round and look behind you...

They stepped out from behind Tina Turner (and hopefully got far away from Ike eventually).

The Ikettes - I'm Blue

4. Giants and Gods lose their religion.

Take away the religion from "Giants and Gods" and you're left with...

Giant Sand - Glum

3. Our Graham knows the answer.

"Our Graham" was the ever cheerful announcer on Blind Date, hosted by one...

Cilla Black - Surround Yourself With Sorrow

2. Their name is like an anagram.

Because in an anagram, you put the letters in a New Order.

New Order - Regret

1. Are you f-in' kidding me, James?

R-U-F-IN... although I should point out that he wasn't ever a James: he was christened Jimmy Lee Ruffin.

Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted?

Happier Snapshots next Saturday (hopefully).

Idiomusic #2: Better Late Than Never

We're back with another idiom and some pop songs which appropriated it. This post was supposed to run yesterday, but...

See what I did there?

The album cover at the top of the page is from Eddie & The Hot Rods' 2004 comeback album, their first in 9 years, hence the title. Other than that, it appears to be business as usual. Hot Rods lead singer Barrie Masters sadly passed away in 2019... and if you're wondering about Eddie, he was just a shop dummy brought on stage in the early days, but they soon got tired of dragging him around...

Eddie & The Hot Rods - Bad Time Again

Sadly, that album didn't have a title track. And because I reckon you've waited long enough for a song named after this week's idiom... here it is. Better l...

Sigh. Let's start with some Love...

Love - Love Is More Than Words Or Better Late Than Never

Next up, York's finest.

Shed Seven - Better Late Than Never

Finest what, you ask? Monkey-faced Britpoppers, I answer.

Some Bangly Canadian power pop next...

Universal Honey - Better Late Than Never

You normally can't go wrong with a bit of Motown. The jury's still out on Bobby Breen though, who sounds to me like he's singing while gargling mouthwash...

Bobby Breen - Better Late Than Never

Here are The Cover Girls, with a track from the soundtrack of the 1988 Eddie Murphy movie, Coming To America...

The Cover Girls - Better Late Than Never

And purely because they've never appeared on this blog before, nor on my previous blog, meaning that I haven't given them even one mention in almost 18 years of blogging... ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The Nolans - Better Late Than Never

OK, enough of this MOR stuff... let's ROCK!

FM - Better Late Than Never

Some 60s pop from Down Under next, with a teen star who was qualified to teach ballet by the age of 14.

Patsy Ann Noble - Better Late Than Never

Still in Australia, here's some dream pop from the 90s...

Tugboat - Better Late Than Never

In a similar stylee, here's a band Khayem introduced me to a while back...

Breathless - Better Late Than Never

Bang up to date now with some bouncy indie pop from Liverpool...

The Ragamuffins - Better Late Than Never

I've always got a bit of (lilac) time for Stephen Duffy... even though he's got today's idiom arse-backwards...

The Lilac Time - Too Sooner Late Than Better

Country star Tanya Tucker was 13 when she had her first hit single in 1972... which makes her just over 20 when she released this belter in 1979... I dunno, she looks older on the album cover.

Tanya Tucker - Better Late Than Never

Pick of the bunch today comes from My Morning Jacket frontman Jim James. I always have time for a good two minute pop song - they're useful for filling up the last slot on a compilation CD...

 

Memory Mixtape #24: A Telephone Call From My Childhood

Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time
I'm living in twilight

Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line

I've been re-reading The Shining by Stephen King recently. Two reasons for this. One, the last couple of modern novels I've read have left me underwhelmed and frustrated. Two, Louise keeps saying, "you have all these old books on the shelves that you never read," and I needed a little more evidence to back up my claims that, "I'll read them again someday". Otherwise: charity shop.

Anyway, I like reading books set in the world of my childhood. A pre-internet, pre-covid, pre-modern day bullshit world... simpler times. The Shining was first published in 1977, when I was 5, a world where a telephone in your home was apparently something of a luxury...

Wendy had insisted on a phone in spite of their unraveling finances. She had argued that with a small child - especially a boy like Danny, who sometimes suffered from fainting spells - they couldn't afford not to have one. So Jack had forked over the thirty-dollar installation fee, bad enough, and a ninety-dollar security deposit, which really hurt. And so far the phone had been mute, except for two wrong numbers.

I'm not sure when my parents got their first telephone installed, but it was there on the wall between the kitchen and the living room throughout my childhood. I remember standing there, when I could reach it, and rotary dialling the numbers... then waiting for a friend's mum to answer. "Hi Mrs. Brook. Is Liam in? Can he come to the phone?"

Of course, the alternative was the good old-fashioned phone box, recently celebrated in John's August Photo Challenge.

Now he dialed the operator and she told him that for a dollar eighty-five he could be put in touch with Al two thousand miles away for three minutes. Time is relative, baby, he thought, and stuck in eight quarters. Faintly he could hear the electronic boops and beeps of his connection sniffling its way eastward.

We take so much for granted these days. A lot of people don't even bother with a home phone anymore, and to be honest, the only time I take a call on ours is when Louise has taken Sam out and she's calling to tell me to put the tea on.

I remember explaining to a bunch of phone-addicted students a few years back that we never even had mobiles when I was a kid. A look of genuine panic crept over their faces.

"But what if you were at school and your mum needed to speak to you urgently?"

"Well, I guess she'd call the school office and someone would come down to pass a message on," I replied... but I couldn't think of any occasion when such a thing had been necessary. Nothing was so urgent that it couldn't wait a few hours back then.

"Or what about if you were meeting up with some mates in town?"

"Well, you'd arrange a time and a place and..."

"But what if they were late?"

"Then you'd wait. And if they still didn't show up, I guess you'd go home and call them later."

Here are some more songs about the telephones of our youth...

Billy Fury - Phone Call

Eddie & The Hotrods - Strangers On The Payphone

Foreigner - Love On The Telephone

If you still want more, there's another great mix of Telephone Tunes over at The Dude's Place this month.

The Hot 100 Countdown #96

96 could only have been one song, but there have been many fine versions over the years... so which is my favourite?

Chris and The Swede both went for the original by ? & The Mysterians, one of the original garage bands, led by the very Jagger-esque Rudy Martinez.

Lynchie suggested a live version by Richard Thompson & David Byrne - now there's an unbeatable team-up! Suits them both very well.

C went for Big Maybelle's version - never heard that before, but it's a cracker.

Charity Chic introduced me to Eddie & The Hot Rods take on it... very good too.

Swiss Adam suggested the Primal Scream cover... pretty trippy... I always like it when the Scream go mental like this.

Nobody went for the other two versions in my record collection: Garland Jeffreys or The Inspiral Carpets, but both are worth the odd spin. (That organ solo must have been irresistible to Clint Boon!)

Once you start digging around on youtube, you can find all manner of treats, including Aretha, Iggy... even Bruce. But for me, it goes back to my first love. The version I first heard. The version I bought on 7" inch single back in 1990. Congrats to Alyson and Rigid Digit for guessing right this week.

Take it away, Hugh...



95's going to be a bit tougher to guess, I reckon. Any takers?

Saturday Snapshots #4: The Answers

Well, that didn't take you long, did it? Well done to all who took part - a true group effort this week. Although poor old Brian didn't even get a look in. Maybe I'll start later in the day next Saturday. I like to think I'll make it harder next week, but every time I think that you all raise your games anyway.

Here's the answers, and a brief explanation of the answers... plus ten top tunes. Check them out if you're not already familiar with them. Guaranteed: no lemons.


10. This Russian waterway gets metafictional.

I didn't actually know that the Okkervil River is in St. Petersburg until I researched this. Apparently the band take their name from a short story by Russian author Tatyana Tolstaya set on that particular waterway. Lynchie's suggestion of The Okkervil River Song was pretty metafictional, but Charity Chic named the actual tune...

Okkervil River - Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe

Love that song.

9. Trump's toothpaste visits a flying citadel.

CC got this one, and didn't even know the song. Here you go, CC: hope you like it as much as I do...

Don McLean - Castles In The Air

8. An American Oasis song inspires the hangman.

Martin recognised Liam Lynch, but couldn't work out the song. Like Liam Lynch had any other hits? To be fair, Liam did have some other pretty good songs. And it's not as though I'm sticking only to chart hits on this quiz. But still... d'oh, indeed, Martin. Glad the penny finally dropped.

Liam Lynch - The United States of Whatever

Still makes me laugh, even after all this time.

7. Brian Jardine, backwards on the beach: what a charmer! 

Well done to Lynchie for puzzling this one out.

The Beach Boys backwards... Brian (Wilson) and (Al) Jardine. Charming snakes...

Al Wilson - The Snake

6. An Eagle and some sexy Stewarts. Please yourself!

Top work from Alyson.

Eddie The Eagle + (Hot) Sexy (Rod) Stewarts. Please yourself?

Eddie & The Hot Rods - Do Anything You Wanna Do

5. Are these guys getting spiritual... or are they just full of hot air? God above knows.

The 5th Dimension is the spiritual one, apparently. Hot air balloon, obviously. Written by Jimmy Webb, who the Boo Radleys and I both agree is God. Above? Up...

The 5th Dimension - Up, Up & Away

Another winner for Alyson.

4. Keeping you warm by the bay, with a nice drink and a message of self-improvement.

Finding a picture of Nina Persson with dark hair was essential here.

Cardigans keep you warm, especially at Cardigan Bay.

Well done to Chris for seeing through my ruse.

The Cardigans - I Need Some Fine Wine And You, You Need To Be Nicer

One of the best song titles ever written.

3. Never play cards with Charles Dickens in an outdoor swimming pool.

Boz was an early pseudonym of Dickens.

The rest is pretty straightforward.

Well done, C.

Boz Scaggs - Lido Shuffle

2. It was North vs. South when these two fell into a depression over Special Dick.

(The international version of that clue may be harder: substitute Hawkeye for Special Dick.) 

NvS = The Civil War. A depression in the earth is a hollow. Dick Barton was a Special Agent. Hawkeye in the Avengers (not M*A*S*H*) is Clint Barton.

I should have known Charity Chic would get this one straight away...

The Civil Wars - Barton Hollow

1. She's like a wonder of time, poised on the cusp of Just Janis.

Stevie... like a Wonder? In the Nicks of time? On the cusp = edge of Just Seventeen (teen girl's pop mag from back in the day). Janis... not Joplin, but Ian, who sang At Seventeen.

Well done, C.

By the way, the video for this is even madder than Stevie Nicks herself...



Right, enough of the quizzes. Maybe tomorrow I'll write an actual post...

(Don't worry, the snapshots will be back next Saturday.)

My Top Ten Fish & Chip Shop Songs

What are you having for tea on Friday night?

Here's ten songs about Britain's great national dish... and the shops that sell it.


10. Denim - Fish & Chips

From Lawrence's middle-period (between Felt and Go-Kart Mozart), and the great "lost" album (until they re-issued it) Back In Denim.

9. Bill Bailey - Unisex Chip Shop

Bill Bailey does an excellent Billy Bragg impersonation / homage / mickey take... so good, if you close your eyes, it could be Billy himself.

I wanted to free her
In my dreams, I would see her
Running naked through the woods round Rainham
If I had some tigers, I'd train 'em
To protect her
From the sexual fascism that was lurking
Round the gherkins

 Mr. Bragg was a fan... he even joined Mr. Bailey on stage to duet on this very song. 

8. The Specials - Friday Night, Saturday Morning

In which Terry Hall pops into a chip shop very late on a Friday night... but only for a pie...

7. Eddie & The Hot Rods - Fish & Chips

...Eddie, on the other hand, knows exactly which Friday night food to choose.

6. Elvis Costello - Fish 'n' Chip Paper

I think it's a shame Elvis Costello got a bit sniffy about his early pun-littered lyrics, because he wrote some absolute belters - and often threw them away on album tracks. This is a typically bilious rant against the tabloid press, probably only bettered by Billy Bragg's Scousers Never Buy The Sun.

If you've got something to hide, if you've got something to sell
If you've got somebody's pride she might kiss and tell
Or wind up with a fight fan in the Hammersmith Hotel
You better speak up now if you want your piece
You better speak up now
It won't mean a thing later
Yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper

5. Relaxed Muscle - Battered

Dark and scary, it's Jarvis returning to his Sheffield roots, along with The All Seeing I's J.P. Buckle and Richard Hawley on guest guitar. They're all off on a dangerous night out in South Yorkshire, where it's not only the fish that'll get battered.

4. The Lancashire Hotpots - Chippy Tea

Being a full-blooded Yorkshireman, I can only grudgingly award this song fourth place. If I lived a few miles in the other direction over the Pennines, I might have made it Number One. But look, I let them win against Sheffield, just this once... because the first ever Fish 'n' Chip shop was in Oldham. 

3. The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!

This one's a bit of a cheat since Chips Ahoy! is the name of a racehorse in the song, not a chip shop. But it would be a great name for a chip shop and this is one of my favourite Hold Steady songs. So until I get around to compiling a chart based around Horseracing Songs...

2. Jilted John - Jilted John

It's still one of the greatest lyrics in the history of music (and arguably the best punk song ever), courtesy of the man who would become John Shuttleworth...

I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop...

Bathos has rarely sounded so good. London Lee even named his blog after it.

1. Kirsty MacColl - There's A Guy Work Down The Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis

Ah, Kirsty. We miss you so much.

Although They Don't Know had been a big radio hit a couple of years earlier, it failed to hit the chart due to distribution shenanigans. Which makes this, two years later, Kirsty's first chart smash. It always felt like a country song to me (despite the very British location: re-recorded for American radio as There's A Guy Works Down The Truck Stop...), but just to confirm that, Kirsty also recorded a full on yee-haw version. They don't write 'em like this anymore...

He’s a liar and I’m not sure about you...

Do you want bits with any of those? (Or scraps, if you're not from round these parts.)