Our Head of English, back in High School, didn't know how to pronounce Don Quixote.
At the time, it was occasionally remarked that Mr. Slade looked like a member of ZZ Top. In retrospect, that makes him sound far too cool. He actually looked more like a member of the Doobie Brothers (but not Michael McDonald). No, even that's wrong. He looked like a member of a 70s folk band, and not a famous 70s folk band like Fairport Convention or Steeleye Span. He looked like he should have been in the Driffield Cobblers. Tinderbox Bartholomew. Or the Bolton Leech Collectors.
He had a beard, OK? And not a cool beard. One that could well be scratched, in thinking pose, chinny reck-on style. He also had a droning voice.
We never studied Don Quixote by Cervantes, but we were all familiar with how to pronounce the name thanks to Nik Kershaw...
Rather a pretentious video that, it takes almost two minutes to get to the point and start the actual song. I can't help but feel Mr. Slade would approve: getting to the point was not something he overly concerned himself with. He would often go off on tangents, tilting at windmills, to stretch that particular idiom to breaking point... and one day in an A Level English lesson, he got onto the subject of Cervantes and his greatest creation... Don Kwix-oat.
Much tittering ensued from the Nik Kershaw fans in the class. Perhaps Mr. Slade was thinking of the pronunciation more commonly associated with the word "quixotic". Nobody dared ask him.
More aurally pulchritudinous delights from the year they insisted on naming after Jack Bauer's missions...
6. Orville Peck - Stampede
He dresses like the Lone Ranger and has the singing chops of Johnny Cash and Chris Isaak. But who is that masked man?
South African (now living in the US) alt-country star Orville Peck is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a pair of cowboy boots. He's not afraid to push boundaries and buttons, sometimes using country music to champion gay rights (pretty ballsy considering America's current swing back to conservatism, as mentioned by John Grant earlier in this list), but he's equally good at playing it "straight" musically, in terms of genre. His third album is a collaborative duets effort, on which Orville manages to drag in an impressive array of confederates, from Willie Nelson, Margo Price and Beck to Elton and Kylie, making each artists' contribution true to their own musical background. Or, as he puts it...
"I wanted to make sure that every single song on the album felt like a true 50/50 collaboration of me and the other artists' style and sound and genre. I didn't want to just feel like a bunch of Orville Peck songs that feature verses from other artists. I wanted each one to be an actual collaboration. Every single song on the album is entirely its own thing, dependent on who the artist is. It's a really fun journey. It's definitely the most adventurous I've ever been in terms of genre. It's some of the most country songs I've ever done on this album and some of the least country songs I've ever done on this album."
A large number of these tracks have become essential companions this year (even the more obvious covers like Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting and Rhinestone Cowboy), but the record's so diverse I'm struggling to choose the best song... or even most representative.
Look, I don't care if it was forty years ago When you won high school spelling bee What are you even talking about? Not everybody can spell hippopotamus And that's at least something you can hang on to I can't even understand you with that thing on your face Margo, you sure take the O out of country And you put the L in stupid
In the end, I'm settling for this purely on the basis of the video...
5. English Teacher - This Could Be Texas
The last time I included a Mercury Prize winner in my personal list of the year's best albums was way back in 2011 (PJ Harvey, to save you the googling). That's how unhip I am. And yet, for some strange reason, I was ahead of the curve when it came to English Teacher. Could be that I was simply taken by the band name? Or the fact that they hail from my neck of the woods (lead singer Lily Fontaine was born in Huddersfield and grew up just over the Pennines in Colne, and the record made waves for being the first Mercury winner in 9 years not to come from London)?
Musically, the indie-art-punk twanging isn't a million miles away from Florence Shaw and Dry Cleaning, but the lyrics are much more personal, dealing with questions of cultural identity in a touching, honest and humorous fashion.
I am the world's biggest paving slab But no one can walk over me I am the Pendle Witches, John Simm And I am Lee Ingleby I am the Bank of Dave, Golden Postbox And the festival of R&B I'm not the terrorist of Talbot Street But I have apocalyptic dreams
You should see my armoury
4. Wolves Of Glendale - Wolves Of Glendale
From the sublime then, to the ridiculous. I challenge you to scour the whole of the blogosphere and find anyone else who has included Wolves of Glendale in their year end countdown.
I offer no defence except that this record made me grin like nothing else this year, and I listened to it for far longer than I probably should have...
If you're in any way appreciative of that, it might be worth pointing you towards a new song they put out a little while back... hopefully a taster for album 2.
Some years ago, I had to make a choice between vinyl and CDs, and I chose the ugly sister. I don't own any records anymore and I gave my turntable to Ben. The image at the top of this blog is therefore a falsehood... but CDs are far less photogenic, aren't they? I miss the crackle and the hypnotic revolution of a turntable, but life is all about sacrifices, isn't it? Plus, the price of vinyl these days is ridiculous, so my bank balance thanks me for my decision.
Happy New Year, anyway. I figured I'd take some time this week to mention a few bands that I'm interested in hearing more from in 2024. It seems we live in rather an exciting time for music. There appears to be a surge of new guitar bands - every time I visit the tube of you, it recommends me five new acts I've never heard of, and usually they're all worthy of a little further investigation. How many of them will make enough money to still be doing their thing in 12 months time is anybody's guess, but it's clearly indicative of a swing back towards the kind of music I dig in the tastes of young people. They should be encouraged in this, as we've had far too many years of unlistenable bilge (to an old man's ears, at least).
I mentioned English Teacher last week, but I wanted to feature them again today as they're one of the bands I'm most excited about in 2024. Now they've signed to Island Records, their debut album is promised for early in the year, and though the latest single is a rather low key affair, I'm still intrigued to hear where they go next...
...and then they sealed the deal with a song that sounded like it could have been written by Steve Coogan's Paul Calf character and released in 1979...
Finally for today: Divorce. Another weird "indie" band who have just signed to a major label, and I do hope that won't change them. Their latest releases show them building up to a big release next year...
The song which got me most excited about this band is the one below. I'm calling it my record of the year, even though it was released at the tail end of 2022. It's still the one track I listened to more than any other over the last 12 months.
I blame it all on Wet Leg. Since they conquered the world from their Chaise Longue in 2021, "indie" girl bands have become much more exciting than "indie" boy bands. To be fair, with a few noteworthy exceptions, the lads have been pretty dull for a decade or so - the "Landfill indie" movement of the early noughties was mostly a masculine affair, so good on the ladies for stepping up to show the lads how it should be done.
Today, it seems like we finally have an equal gender playing field when it comes to making noisy guitar music. Makes you realise what outliers and pioneers the likes of Debbie Harry and Chrissie Hynde really were. Here are some of my favourite songs made by noisy young women his year...
Let's start with a band I've already seen crop up on a few other End of Year lists... which almost makes me feel like I have my finger on my pulse. English Teacher initially came to my attention because they'd chosen to name themselves after me. How could I not listen to their records? If you are thinking of starting a band next year, can I suggest calling yourself Failed Writer or Shit Fashion Sense or Miserable Bastard? I'll be there in the front row.
Even better, Lily Fontaine, who fronts English Teacher, was born in Huddersfield. Putting her right up there with Jodie Whittaker and James Mason in my estimation.
This is the best thing English Teacher put out this year. I have high hopes for their imminent LP.
7ebra are Inez and Ella Johannson, 25-year-old twin sisters from Malmö, Sweden. They're the point of the Venn diagram where Wet Leg overlap with First Aid Kit. I Have A Lot To Say is one of the best songs I've heard all year. That the rest of their debut album couldn't quite live up to it isn't really their fault. Sometimes you write a song that's so good, nothing else can come close.
Skipping across to Germany now, where we meet the charming Ms. Anna Erhard...
From Abba to Nena to Vanessa Paradis, there's definitely something about women who sing with European accents. I think it taps into the mythical "Exchange Student" fantasies that we had as teenagers. Not that I remember ever meeting an exchange student. And if I had, I wouldn't have dared talk to them.
Anyway, Anna Erhard writes songs about campsites and picnics and guest rooms and idiots - everyday things from an idiosyncratic point of view. She's only released one song this year (the one above is from her 2022 album), but it was enough to make me grin for at least three minutes and fifteen seconds...
The Beaches come from Toronto. They're not exactly a new band as I'm pretty sure I remember listening to their debut LP in 2017. It's taken the six years to release a follow up, but, y'know, the world did rather fall apart during that time.
They also win the My Top Ten award for best inspirational slogan of 2023...
Those guys are just the tip of the iceberg though. Lately, every time I switch on the tube of you, I find it's recommending me an exciting new female fronted rock 'n' roll band. Blame the algorithms. (Steve For The Deaf has also been responsible for alerting me to many of these.)
They're a little bit goth and a little bit Kate Bush but they can also rock it out like the kids used to do before they discovered drum machines. I also think they may be familiar with the work of Jim Steinman.
Over the past few months, The Last Dinner Party have swiftly become darlings of the cognoscenti, to the point where it almost feels like I should be rebelling against them, because it's never cool to like what the cool kids are telling you to like. But as long as they keep delivering singles like this one... I can't help but be swept along with the crowd.
It can't have escaped your notice that Doctor Who celebrated its 60th anniversary last week, blasting its way back onto screen with an old face and a Disney+ budget. Like most British kids, I grew up with The Doctor, and your first Doctor will always be your favourite. Which means you can't beat Tom Baker in my eyes.
Still, I have a great fondness for most of the other Doctors, including the modern incarnations (although Huddersfield lass Jodie Whittaker was let down during her tenure by terrible scripts). They say we spent large parts of our youth hiding behind the sofa to avoid the show's scarier bits... and I do have vivid memories of being behind that old red leather sofa in our living room on a Saturday night... but I'm pretty sure I was acting out the adventures I'd just seen on screen rather than escaping in terror.
Here then is a special edition of TV On The Radio dedicated to all the Doctors.
Search for songs that include the words "Doctor Who" in that order and you're on a hiding to nothing. Unless you want to hear a load of tunes that have nothing to do with Timelords such as this...
She sent me to the doctor who sent me straight to bed
I had far more luck searching for words that were unique to the Whoniverse. Such as TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space, as I'm sure you will recall).
Here's someone who would look right at home in an episode of Doctor Who... Thom Yorke.
I'm stuck in the TARDIS Trapped in hyperspace One minute, snake charming The next in a motorcade
Step outside the TARDIS and you may encounter some of The Doctor's greatest enemies. For reasons explained above, I didn't bother looking for The Master, and only found the odd song that mentioned Cybermen... but the Daleks were all over the place.
Dave Balfe and Alan Gill from The Teardrop Explodes formed the most famous band to be named after the psychotic pepper pots, possibly my favourite science fiction bad guys (the Daleks, not Balfe and Gill).
Despite my difficulties in searching for "Doctor Who" songs, I still found quite a few that mentioned the Timelord by name (or, not actually by name, since Doctor Who isn't actually his name, is it?). Although many of them fall into the category that causes serious musos to gnash their teeth to the gums... comedy or novelty records.
Frazer Hines was a minor Yorkshire celebrity due to his role on Emmerdale Farm in the 70s and 80s (back when my dad used to watch it because they had actual farmyard scenes). Prior to that, Frazer was an early Doctor Who assistant when he recorded this...
Once All About Eve were done, lead singer Julianne Regan formed Mice. Here's a little timely advice for any of you who might be considering running off with a stranger in a blue police box...
He's my blue sonic boy I believed in his watery lies And his half-arsed scheme to rule the world But you know it isn't easy hanging out with the timelords When you're a Dalek and can't even climb up the stairs So when you wake tomorrow, stick a bell in your van
There were lots of artists I discovered during this search who looked like they'd only ever get a gig at Comicon, but these guys deserved a special mention, for enthusiasm, if nothing else...
But there was only one song I could choose to close this post, from the insane genius of Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, The KLF, The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu and The Timelords... with a little help from The Sweet and (whisper it now) Gary Glitter. A Number One smash that Melody Maker described as "pure, unadulterated agony" and "excruciating", while Sounds called it "rancid" and "a record so noxious that a top ten place can be its only destiny". What's not to love?
