Thirty years ago, Damon and the Blur lads won that silly battle for Number One with the Neanderthal Brothers... but lost the battle in the album charts. The Friends theme tune made it into the charts, thanks to The Rembrants. And Take That had a song called Never Forget doing the rounds... but thankfully, I've forgotten it.
Better tunes were available in the late summer of 1995...
It's hard to believe any one of those songs is thirty years old.
Here's a song from 2025, all about 1995. The Tumbling Souls are from Stornoway in the Outer Hebrides. And that's about all I know... except this one's a cracker.
Back in July 2021, we did an edition of Snapshots about song titles which featured the name of the singer or band performing them. It was high time for a sequel...
20. Like a Sonic Youth offshoot.
Ciccone Youth was a side-project of Sonic Youth. This is Louise Ciccone, first name...
Sam and I spent a few days down south last week - not all the way down, just south of Birmingham. On our first full day, we visited Warwick Castle, a spectacular old building, but a place which feels like it's been Disneyfied to milk every last penny out of its visitors. I could just about handle paying almost fifty quid to get in, because there was lots to do, but once inside they try to fleece you for more money at every turn. Seven quid to park (in a field), people offering to take your photo at every turn then hand you a digital download card with a hefty price attached, extra cost for the Dungeon Tour (which was OK, but not a patch on Edinburgh or York Dungeons).
At the end of the Dungeon Tour, they hand you a wonderful keepsake full of glossy photos taken along the way, plus a keyring and some other gubbins. "A lovely memento of your day," the teenager in charge says (virtually everyone working at Warwick Castle is a Sixth Former... I'll let you reach your own conclusions as to why), before hitting you with the price tag of £22, putting parents in rather an awkward position. Ironic, given we'd just heard about the highway robbers who spent their last days in Warwick Dungeon. Fortunately, Sam was wise to their game: "Give it back and let's get out of here!"
But the final kick in the teeth came later in the afternoon when Sam fancied a go at the kid's jousting event, a pretty basic affair in which another teenager gave two kids a wooden sword and got them to run along an obstacle course bashing a few stripy poles along the way, Despite this, Sam was desperate to have a go - six quid, please. So we bought a ticket and stood waiting in the blistering hot sun for half an hour while the Teenage Knight Mentor mucked about getting two other kids through the course. One of them cut her finger, so the Teenage Knight Mentor let them have another go, after spending ages running around looking for a plaster. And on and on it went. Finally they were done, at which point the Teenage Knight Mentor headed off down the other end of the course to talk to some other parents who were enquiring about the course. I followed, just to make sure she didn't allow them to go before Sam. No worries - "I've got someone waiting down that end," she told them. So I presumed Sam would be next. Only then her (slightly older but only just) supervisor turned up, a conflab occurred, and Teenage Knight Mentor buggered off completely. The supervisor then headed over to us... "this event is closed for half an hour - you can come back then". Sam burst into tears and I demanded my money back. "Sorry, we don't give refunds."
At this point, we left Warwick Castle and headed into the town to scour the local charity shops. A far more cost-effective endeavour. So yeah - Warwick Castle... it's a good job I don't do reviews in Trip Advisor. The town itself is much more welcoming.
Reading back through one of those old APAs I found in my mum’s attic, and I came across a throwaway line that demonstrated how much of a curmudgeon I was in my youth. “My thesis on why I hate the world, I’ll save till next time.” With an attitude like that, it’s a wonder I ever made any friends.
I wondered if it was possible to offer a little psychoanalysis to my 20 year old self, so I took advantage of Captain Google (who wasn’t a twinkle in Larry Page and Sergey Brin’s eye back in 1992) to ask…
A website calling itself Very Well Mind (which I tried not to be too judgemental about) immediately stuck up its hand and started waving it about in a “pick me, pick ME!” kind of way, so let’s see what it has to say…
The reality is that no one likes every single person they’ve met. However, some people reach a stage where they get so annoyed, hurt, or frustrated with people or circumstances that they feel like they hate everyone.
Clearly, this was 20 year old me. “But why?” I hear you cry. 32 years later, I’m not sure I have a definite answer to that, but here are some of Very Well Mind’s suggestions…
Stress
I’m not sure I had a lot to be stressed about at 20. I had a loving family, a home where I felt safe and cared for, a job I enjoyed with people who (ironically) I didn’t hate (well, most of them, anyway) and I was starting to earn a slither of money. I was back at uni, but that was free in the early 90s and because I went to a local uni, I wasn’t running up any kind of debt. No, then, I don’t think I can blame my post-teenage misanthropy on stress.
Now we might be getting nearer the cause, but again, this isn’t an obvious win. I’ve always felt a degree of social anxiety, and that’s certainly something I can deal with much better now than when I was young. And while I am by nature an introvert, I’ve always been able to fake being an extrovert. Which is how I ended up on the radio… although, unlike most radio presenters, I wasn’t a sunny, cheer up your day personality… I was a grumpy, sarcastic anti-personality. Hence the fact that they didn’t ever give me my own solo show, but also paired me with a “straight man” who could offer a little light to contrast my dark.
I think this is more likely to explain why 52 year old me gets wound up by large swathes of the human race, rather than my 20 year old self. I wasn’t really that bothered back then.
A Doctor Kristen Farrell Turner, quoted on Very Well Mind says…
…feeling hatred toward others will rob you of enjoyable life experiences. Not only does hatred require a great deal of cognitive and emotional energy, it also inhibits you from connecting with others and enriching your life.
Looking back, I’m not sure I was robbing myself of enjoyable life experiences. In radio, I found a setting in which my grumpiness was actually a way of getting ahead, and I was using that to make people laugh and build new opportunities.
Did 20 year old me really hate the world?
Did he heck.
It was all just an act to paper over insecurity, a tragic lack of self-confidence and a Grand Canyon of loneliness in perpetual conflict with an innate desire to be on my own. None of which has changed in the intervening years… I’ve just become a better actor.
In a desperate effort to move this blog away from wall-to-wall misery, self-pity and middle-aged grumpiness, here's a new feature in which I pay tribute to celebrities who have been immortalised in song.
I don't know why I chose to start with Robert Mitchum, other than I wanted the list to be random and he was the first person who popped into my mind. When I was younger, and a huge Humphrey Bogart fan, I never liked Robert Mitchum. I found him rather wooden compared to Bogie: given they both played Philip Marlowe, it was hard not to line them up together.
In later years though, I grew to appreciate Mitchum's performances more, and I could see why he was considered a very cool dude. In modern times, I felt the same way about Keanu Reeves at first, thinking him a one-note actor (that note being Ted "Theodore" Logan), but over time I developed a lot more respect for him. Like Mitchum, he has real screen presence. And that indefinable cool.
Julian Cope was the first person to immortalise Robert Mitchum in song...
The part in Ryan's Daughter when you lose your wife
I've never seen a more dignified man in my life
But when you start looking for Bob Mitchum songs though, you'll be amazed how popular he is...
Before we get onto this week's winning tune, it's worth remembering that Mr. Mitchum had a short-lived musical career of his own... and I'm guessing a certain Mr. B. Springsteen might be aware of it...
Now I can't guarantee that every week I'll find quite so many songs about one celebrity... I'm sure there are plenty with only one to their name. But when I first thought about starting with Robert Mitchum, this was the song I knew I'd finish with. Because it's almost as cool as he was...
Following on from this weekend's Snapshots, featuring songs named after famous actors, I had something of an overspill... so here are some of the runners up.
Watching the sky for a sign The FBI is on my mind I'm waiting for the day When my lucky stars align In the form of... David Duchovny floating above me In the alien light of the spaceship of love
I want seven screaming virgins on a sacrificial altar Hell and God, screeching doors, zombies, aaaaah! It feels so good to be afraid Vincent Price is back again
Oh, the great sequin cowboy who sings of the plains
Of roundups and rustlers and home on the range
Turn on the TV, shut out the lights
Roy Rogers is riding tonight
And my personal favourite...
I want to be your hero,
Kurt Russell, Eastwood and me
There's no doubt plenty more where they came from, but that's enough actors for today. Drop me a comment if I've missed one of your favourites and I might do a follow up post... but remember, we're leaving the ladies for another day.
