Looking for a few ideas for last minute Christmas gifts? Ask the experts...!
Pop songs have the answer to everything.
10. The Rocket Summer - Christmas Present
Just discovered this. Be thankful: my original #10 choice involved a hippopotamus.
9. Shirley Lee - The Christmas Present
You can always rely on Shirley to break your heart at Christmas.
8. Over The Rhine - All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue
Having read Steve's post the other day, this one's for him.
7. The Research - For Christmas, I Got Pityriasis Rosea
No, I didn't make this up.
My girlfriend was none-the-wiser
She bought me some moisturiser
And to make it even better - they're from Wakefield!
6. My Chemical Romance - All I Want For Christmas Is You
What - you were expecting Mariah Carey?
5. Half Man Half Biscuit - All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Scalextric, Subbuteo and a Dukla Prague away kit... and your Christmas is complete. Just pray that Scalextric doesn't come with a dodgy transformer.
4. Aimee Mann - I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up For Christmas
I dunno, Aimee, luv, I quite like you mucky...
3. Tom Waits - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
What a rugby player would be doing in Minneapolis, I have no idea.
2. Fountains of Wayne - I Want An Alien For Christmas
7 of 9 or that dancing green chick... maybe.
1. The Velvet Underground - The Gift
The strangest Velvet Underground record by far (and that's saying something), Lou Reed's 8 minute plus short story is delivered as a spoken word narrative by John Cale (he's from the valleys: that accent's genuine) about poor old Waldo Jeffers' misfiring plan to post himself to his girlfriend as a surprise gift. Do not try this at home.
You can tell how old this record is - in those days, it actually would have been more cost effective to send yourself by post rather than buy a train ticket. Not anymore...bloody Royal Mail. 60p a stamp? Outrageous!
So - that's my Christmas present list. Which one would you like to find under your tree?
Can I bring things to an all time low by suggesting Roy Chubby Brown's "Santa Where's Me Fucking Bike?"
ReplyDeleteConsidering my comment above (#8), that seems most apt.
DeleteHave you heard Peace doing All I Want For Christmas Is You to the tune of Creep? Worth seeking out.
ReplyDeleteAnd 7 of 9 - good shout!
I have now - thanks!
Delete