Friday, 7 December 2012

My Top Ten Jesus Songs

Some of these artists believe in him, some of them don't. But as it's his birthday soon, and he's been the inspiration for a bunch of cracking tunes (I could easily have gone another ten), here we go(d)...

Special mention, of course, to The Jesus & Mary Chain and Jesus Jones.

10. The Charlatans -  Jesus Hairdo

It was a close run thing between this and Jesus Says by Ash. We've not yet had any Charlatans on this blog though, so they deserved their moment.

9. Genesis - Jesus, He Knows Me

If you can get past the idea of Phil Collins singing, "Jesus he knows me and he knows I'm right," because HE'S NOT SERIOUS, HE'S JUST MOCKING TELEVANGELISTS, HE DOESN'T REALLY THINK THAT WAY, then this isn't that bad a song. I was 19, anyway, you can't blame me for buying this album.

Or maybe being 19 makes it worse...

8. Martin Rossiter - I Must Be Jesus

From the excellent new album by the former Gene frontman, The Defenestration of St. Martin.

The Morrissey comparisons have always chased Gene, and with this one Martin seems to be trying to outdo his mentor. After all, Moz only forgave Jesus... he never claimed to be him. In both cases though, pain was involved...

7. Cosmo Jarvis -  Sure As Hell Not Jesus

Love this song. The video is very disturbing though.

6. Ben Folds -  Jesusland

Guest starring Matt Lucas!

5. The Blind Boys Of Alabama -  (Jesus Hits Like) Atom Bomb


4. Elbow - Jesus Is A Rochdale Girl

As Louise is from Rochdale, I have to say that Guy's onto something here...

I have to say that, or I'll never hear the end of it.

3. King Missile - Jesus Was Way Cool

Discovered this a few months back. Still can't stop listening to it.

He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

2. Morrissey - I Have Forgiven Jesus

Morrissey turns Bill Hicks...

This song makes me want to cry.

Seriously though - does anybody really believe Morrissey had a paper round?

1. Depeche Mode / Johnny Cash - Personal Jesus

 Can't decide between 'em. Although Johnny's version almost makes me a believer...

Reach out and touch faith!

Those were my Jesus Jones - which one do you worship?


  1. Completely agree with your 1 and 2 (though I find the piano in the Cash version of Personal Jesus to be a bit too upbeat and major key).

    Would have had the Rozza at number 3 though... as you might have guessed.

    And no need to be a Genesis apologist!

    1. Yeah, but that upbeat piano is used to contrast Cash's world weary, hanging-on-to-life-by-a-thread vocals, surely?

  2. What about Jesus Was The First Glam Rocker by Glam Chops, the Art Brut/David Devant side project. that should have been a top three option in any Jesus song list, and believe me I know a lot if Jesus titled songs

    1. You know, I don't think I have that album - just a couple of tracks, and not the one you mention.

  3. Can't believe that no one has suggested Jesus Christ Superstar, by the original cast....why do I always get left to adopt the Alan Davies role - is it because we went to the same school?

    I had no idea that Johnny Cash had done Personal Jesus...cracker...

    1. I know somebody who went to the same university as Alan Davies.

      And there my story ends.

  4. This is the acoustic version of Personal Jesus recorded by writer Martin Gore from which DM recorded their fully produced versions from. Interesting to listen to, I think.

    1. Not heard that version before, but I LIKE!

  5. The name isn't ever mentioned but I'm sure Danielle Dax's "Big Hollow Man" was definitely about the J-ster.

    1. Wow. Obscurity points for that, 80s child.

  6. So not just 'anything by Jesus and Marychain' then, which was my first response. Martin Gore always sings well like that. I love 'somebody'.

  7. Being a born-again Christian, I find this Top 10 blasphemous in the extreme.

    We should all just sit down and talk about Jesus.

    We are all wanted as his sunbeams

    1. In the case, Number 5 was just for you.

      Meanwhile, Nirvana's cover of 'Jesus Doesn't Want Me for a Sunbeam' by The Vaselines (or, indeed, the original) came very close to inclusion.

  8. I don't particularly believe in the fella (he may or may not have existed, but all that son of god stuff seems a bit unlikely) but I still have quite a few Jesus songs on my iPod:

    'Jesus Gonna be Here' and 'Chocolate Jesus' by Tom Waits

    'Jesus of the Moon' and 'Jesus Met A Woman at the Well' by Nick Cave

    'Black Jesus' by Lady Gaga

    'Jesus' Hands' by American Music Club

    'Jesus Just Left Chicago' by ZZ Top

    'Jesus Built My Hotrod' by Ministry

    and the Marilyn Manson version of 'Personal Jesus'

    And those are just the ones that mention him in the title! I used to have the King Missile album with 'Jesus Was Way Cool' on it ('Mystical Shit') but there were only a couple of songs on it I liked so I stupidly flogged it. I may now have to download 'Jesus Was Way Cool' (and possibly 'Cheesecake Truck') to make up for that.

    My favourite Jesus song is 'I Wanna Get Down On My Knees and Start Pleasing Jesus' by Faith +1 (the Christian rock band formed by Eric Cartman in South Park, whose songs, including 'Jesus Baby' and 'The Body of Christ', were all inappropriately sexy).

    1. All excellent suggestions, Rob, particularly the ones by Cartman.

  9. Jesus built my hotrod, how can I have forgotten that one, a total classic that fuelled my college years.

    1. Good call. The aforementioned Tim Wheeler / Emmy The Great Christmas album also features a track called 'Jesus The Reindeer'.


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