Friday, 14 December 2012

My Top Ten Christmas Present Songs

Looking for a few ideas for last minute Christmas gifts? Ask the experts...!

Pop songs have the answer to everything.

10. The Rocket Summer - Christmas Present

Just discovered this. Be thankful: my original #10 choice involved a hippopotamus.

9. Shirley Lee - The Christmas Present

The Christmas Present by Shirley Lee on Grooveshark
You can always rely on Shirley to break your heart at Christmas.

8. Over The Rhine - All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue

Having read Steve's post the other day, this one's for him.

7. The Research - For Christmas, I Got Pityriasis Rosea

No, I didn't make this up.

My girlfriend was none-the-wiser
She bought me some moisturiser

And to make it even better - they're from Wakefield!

6. My Chemical Romance - All I Want For Christmas Is You

What - you were expecting Mariah Carey?

5. Half Man Half Biscuit - All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit

Scalextric, Subbuteo and a Dukla Prague away kit... and your Christmas is complete. Just pray that Scalextric doesn't come with a dodgy transformer.

4. Aimee Mann - I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up For Christmas

I dunno, Aimee, luv, I quite like you mucky...

3. Tom Waits - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis

What a rugby player would be doing in Minneapolis, I have no idea.

2. Fountains of Wayne - I Want An Alien For Christmas

7 of 9 or that dancing green chick... maybe.

1. The Velvet Underground - The Gift

The strangest Velvet Underground record by far (and that's saying something), Lou Reed's 8 minute plus short story is delivered as a spoken word narrative by John Cale (he's from the valleys: that accent's genuine) about poor old Waldo Jeffers' misfiring plan to post himself to his girlfriend as a surprise gift. Do not try this at home.

You can tell how old this record is - in those days, it actually would have been more cost effective to send yourself by post rather than buy a train ticket. Not anymore...bloody Royal Mail. 60p a stamp? Outrageous!

So - that's my Christmas present list. Which one would you like to find under your tree?


  1. Can I bring things to an all time low by suggesting Roy Chubby Brown's "Santa Where's Me Fucking Bike?"

    1. Considering my comment above (#8), that seems most apt.

  2. Have you heard Peace doing All I Want For Christmas Is You to the tune of Creep? Worth seeking out.

    And 7 of 9 - good shout!


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