Wednesday 9 January 2013

My Top Ten Online Songs


Ten songs about the internet age... with some very pertinent observations.


10. O Pioneers!!! - Chris Ryan Added Me On Facebook

A bit shouty, but so true.

Let’s pretend, that we are friends 
Just like we were back in high school. 
You can send me messages, that I’m sure that I can relate to
Just like in high school. 
Every other week, you can call me. 
Call me on the telephone. 
We can talk about our misadventures, and our breakthroughs. 
Just like in high school. 

See I’m older now, and I don’t give a damn, if I ever talk to you again.

9. The Lancashire Hotpots - eBay 'eck.

See also: I Met A Girl On Myspace. If you like extremely juvenile innuendo.

Word to your mother - how is your mother?

8. Gym Class Heroes - New Friend Request

So click approve, so simple
Show me some kind of sign and let me know it's time to make my move
Just click approve, come on girl

7. Paul & The Patients - Blogspot

It seems that Paul believes blogs are full of self-opinionated blowhards constantly foisting their twaddlelicious opinions on other people. Well, I think that's JUST RUBBISH.

;-) Winking smiley face. ;-)

6. Evelyn Evelyn - My Space

Wow, is Amanda Palmer really old enough to remember myspace? Is anybody...?
And you can't always want what you get,
When you're looking for love,
In a cafe on the internet.
You want somewhere to hide,
Where everyone can find you.
You join hands with the world and say,
'I just want my space.'
5. Superman Revenge Squad - Woman Hating Internet Pornography

Good old Superman Revenge Squad, making a stand - and mentioning Morrissey in the lyrics too.

4. Chumbawamba - On eBay

On eBay, they bought a whiskey drink, a vodka drink, a lager drink and a cider drink. Bargain!

See also Add Me...
I'm a loner alone with neuroses and hate
Anger is a permanent character trait
My letter bombs are primed and ready to send
Would you like to add me as a friend?
I'm a wound-up whiner with a fetish for guns
I'm almost 50 and I live with my Mum
I hope my nude picture doesn't offend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Add me. Add me
My mother says she wished she'd never had me
Add me. Add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?
3. Martin Rossiter - Where There Are Pixels 

From the amazing new album by the former Gene frontman. (Have I mentioned this previously?) Get it here.
I bear the torch, I hold it high
It burns aflame for those who tried
But found the outside far too dim
And soon realised
Their life's online... just like mine
2. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess

Good old Nigel Blackwell... he doesn't just get pissed off by life's little niggles - he writes top songs about them too.
Checkmate!
Dennis Bell of Torquay
 
Too late
With your N at E3
Good game, sir, do you want another bout?
Well, Dennis ain't replying cause he just signed out
Bad losers on Yahoo Chess!

Checkmate!
Dennis Bell of Torquay
Too late
With your Nxe3
Good game sir
Do you want another bout?
Well Dennis ain’t replying
‘cos he just signed out
Bad losers on Yahoo Chess

From: Half Man Half Biscuit: Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess - lyrics http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/csi-ambleside/bad-losers-on-yahoo-chess/#ixzz2D4YAyPgC
Checkmate!
Dennis Bell of Torquay
Too late
With your Nxe3
Good game sir
Do you want another bout?
Well Dennis ain’t replying
‘cos he just signed out
Bad losers on Yahoo Chess

From: Half Man Half Biscuit: Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess - lyrics http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/csi-ambleside/bad-losers-on-yahoo-chess/#ixzz2D4YAyPgC
Checkmate!
Dennis Bell of Torquay
Too late
With your Nxe3
Good game sir
Do you want another bout?
Well Dennis ain’t replying
‘cos he just signed out
Bad losers on Yahoo Chess

From: Half Man Half Biscuit: Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess - lyrics http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/csi-ambleside/bad-losers-on-yahoo-chess/#ixzz2D4YAyPgC
1. Brad Paisley - Online

In which George from Seinfeld creates a whole new internet identity for himself... he is Brad Paisley. (And his dad is Bill Shatner - how cool is that?)
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way... chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online




Those were my favourite songs about the internet... but which ones get you logged on?

11 comments:

  1. All I can think of is Prince's Computer Blue...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was actually in consideration for a while.

      Delete
  2. Go google 'eurovision facebook song' - go on, you know you want to!!!

    PS : I didn't know 'music' could plummit to those depths - makes Rick Astley look good - sh*t Rick Astley ear-worm - curse you Rol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the most disturbing thing I have seen this year (so far), for too many reasons to mention.

      So thanks for that... but it was hardly my fault, was it?

      Delete
  3. All I can think of is 'eBay' by Weird Al Yankovic, which also has William Shatner in the video (for about 1 second).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1 second of Shatner is always better than no Shatner.

      Delete
  4. In my head you are either a musical genius, or these lists must take you an age to create...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither. Although some of them are a work in progress. I often keep draft lists, adding to them until I have enough for a decent 10.

      Delete
  5. Can I recommend you have a look at Kate Miller-Heidke "Are You F#$^ing Kidding Me" (aka the Facebook song)
    A very talented musician with a very humorous song:
    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55I83jEAIhk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that - can't work out which album it's on though. I'll definitely be checking out more of her stuff.

      Delete
    2. I think its a non album track - its certainly not on the two albums of hers that I have - Curiouser and Little Eve, although I think I read that it makes an appearance on a live album. I think Curiouser is the better of the two - and it contains a brilliant track called Caught in the Crowd - where she sings about regretting not stepping into help a kid that got bullied at her school.

      Delete

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