The United Kingdom of Song #25: Eton

Eton the town is far less famous than the private school that's based there, an upper class breeding ground of famous actors, politicians and pig-fanciers. Not many famous musicians attended Eton... it's not particularly rock n roll, is it? The only famous musical almunus I could find was Frank Turner... which might explain his rather odd political beliefs. No, he's not a Tory... but he's not really the lefty punk rock rebel you might expect either. He's a libertarian anarchist, apparently. He basically thinks we shouldn't have politicians at all... and in the current climate, I think quite a few people may be coming round to his way of thinking.

Anyway, here's a few songs that mention Eton...

The Monochrome Set - The Ruling Class

...which surely has one of the best opening verses ever...

My old man's a Viscount
And he wears a Viscount's crown
He buys me Cardin trousers
Of a tasteful shade of dark brown

And then goes on to add...

My old man's an Earl now
And he wears an ermine gown
He sends me an allowance
To spend in Eton town

Elbow - Usually Bright

The fella next to me up there
An Eton educated broker
The happiest man you'll ever meet
Sadly, I’m not even joking

Mott The Hoople - Pearl 'n' Roy

Now I'll tell you something
It seems like the rich dudes live in the sun
And if Eton be a democracy - well I'm gonna get me some

Idles - Never Fight A Man With A Perm

A heathen from Eton
On a bag of Michael Keaton!

And that's it. I can't think of any other Eton songs, can you?

What's that?

Oh... this one...?

Sup up your beer and collect your fags
There's a row going on down near slough
Get out your mat and pray to the west
I'll get out mine and pray for myself
Thought you were smart when you took them on
But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?