Conversations With Ben #4: Small Claims Court

I'm not sure how we got onto the subject of Cars, other than that it's Sam's favourite film... 

Ben: I've not watched Cars as it has a very specific demographic compared to a lot of other Pixar films.

Rol: Yes. My son is the demographic and has been since he was 2. I keep hoping he'll grow out of it, but not yet...

How is planes?

And is there a boats?

Planes makes Cars look like Citizen Kane. They wisely stopped trying to diversify after that.

A mate of mine's brother in law worked for Pixar. He left with a massive pay off because he didn't get on with John Lasseter. He went off and did Ratatouille instead.

Actually, I just googled him and that might have been after he made Ratatouille.

A mate of mine's sister's aunt's mate worked on Some Mother's Do 'Ave 'Em and they said that really, mother's don't have them.

Yeah, fuck off. I had a Small Claims Court thing going on there and you ruined my moment.

Have I told you about the time Christopher Ecclestone was in the toilet cubicle next to mine?

No

That's an invitation to tell the story...

Did he do a big poo?

West Yorkshire Playhouse. He was on the phone to his agent. Discussing Doctor Who.

To show the age difference, I was interviewed by Richard McCourt (Dick of Dick and Dom fame) in year 6 for winning Sheffield reader of the year.

He said he liked my hair.

Alberto Balsam wetlook gel, spiked up.

I have no idea who Dick and Dom are.

But I had a lovely conversation with Nick Heyward once. Very nice man.

And spent ages talking to David Gedge when he was running his own merchandise stand at a Cinerama gig at the Leadmill.

If we're talking bands, Foals used to sleep on my friend's floor whenever they were in Sheffield and used to hang out with us in Sheffield. I know the drummer from Kevin Devine / Brand New's second drummer, and got drunk and got kicked out of three bars in Leeds with Cage The Elephant.

Louise has the best small claim. When she was little, David Prowse was opening a shop in Rochdale dressed as Darth Vader. He tweaked her nose and made her cry so Darth Vader had to apologise to her mum in his Cornish accent.

That is pretty good, actually.

That Black Country, New Road album has the potential to be the best album that will release this year.

It's one of those things where it almost annoys you just how much talent a young band can have.

Rol replies:

I listened to BCNR. I like the ones where they sound like Nick Cave or Fred Thomas. Less so the ones where they forget to sound like anyone. 

Ben replies:

That gif is genuinely disturbing.

It's like the anti Proof by I am Kloot video.

I'd never seen that video before. Now I'm wondering if that's what he was doing in the next cubicle...

It's a good video.

I like that no matter how much Guy Garvey tries, Elbow will always be the "commercial" one of the two bands that got successful.

And it tears him up. And I love that.

Leave Guy Garvey alone. He's a nice man and there aren't enough of them.

Whenever I feel guilty for all those years devoted to Morrissey, I comfort myself in the knowledge that I also like Guy Garvey.

Also check the muso snobbery that says anything commercial is automatically bad.

I bought three copies of Will Young's Leave Right Now to keep it in the charts.

It's just when people try and force a certain impression of themselves.

Guy Garvey is so concerned with trying to appear like he's intellectual, it's sad.

Hmm. Who do I know...?

I'm not biting.

Shame.