Cnut Songs #13: Buying A Car Part 2

Reliability, then. My old car, when I bought it, was top of the pops for small car reliability, according to the review websites. (I don't read them, but Louise loves 'em.) Not anymore, it seems... so she steered me towards the current Number One instead. Extra points because these cars come with LONG warranties, so if I buy, say, a five year old one, there's still a couple of years left on on it.

One catch.

For the warranty to be valid, the car has to have a full service history.

Dealer #1. Car advertised with FSH.

"So, I understand it's got a full service history. Can I see that?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Just wait here... Oh... actually... we can't find that. I'm sure it had one. I took the car in part-ex myself. Yes, I'm sure it... it must have gone missing..."

Very shortly afterwards, I went missing from that showroom.

Dealer #2.

"So what about the service history?"

"Well, it's got very low mileage, so the previous owner only had it serviced once every two years, which makes perfect sense under the circumstances, and really isn't anything to worry about because the car is in excellent condition..."

"But if it's not been serviced every year... doesn't that invalidate the warranty?"

"No, no, I'm sure it doesn't. I mean, I could check, but really, I wouldn't worry about that, because it's in excellent--"

"How about you check?"

.........

"OK, I've spoken with the service history people, and apparently it's... well, it's to do with the oil change... because it's not had an oil change every year, there is a slight effect to the warranty..."

"By 'slight effect' you mean...?"

"Well, it's anything to do with the oil, really.* Anything that uses oil won't be covered by the warranty, but other than that - the electrics, for example, they're all still covered."

"Anything to do with the oil? So... you mean... THE ENGINE!?!"

"Well, yes, but the electrics--"

"So if the radio breaks, you'll fix it?"

"Absolutely!"

At this point, Dealer #1 calls me back.

"Great news! We found the service history! And it's full - it was serviced in our garage every year since purchase! I've got it right here in front of me?"

"Cool. Has the ink dried on the stamps yet?"

(*A third dealer told me this was bollocks, by the way. You can't invalidate part of the warranty. Either the whole thing's valid or it isn't. End of.)

I mean, I could go on, but... you get the picture.

Here's Jimmy's boys...