Snapshots #381: A Top Twelve Songs About String Instruments

Viola and welcome to twelve songs with strings attached. Thank you for demonstrating your usual pluck and determination...

12. Soon became atheists.

Once they'd finished Losing Their Religion.

REM - Zither

11. Mates with David Hamilton.

He was known for hanging out with Diddy men.

Ken Dodd - Love Is Like A Violin

10. Rodney: not a plonker.

Nick Rodney Drake... definitely not a plonker.

Nick Drake - Cello Song

9. Frank & Jesse. (One song from each.)

Taken from the movie The Last Days of Frank and Jesse James, starring Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson.

Johnny Cash - Long-Legged Guitar Pickin' Man

(Or, if you stretch the criteria a little as I wanted to... Daddy Sang Bass.)

Kris Kristofferson - Don't Cuss The Fiddle

8. Compasses point them out.

Compasses point towards magnetic fields...

Magnetic Fields - Acoustic Guitar

7. How Superman gets his calcium.

Christopher Reeve used to like his milk.

Christopher Milk - A Second Hand Viola

6. This land is yours, son.

Woody Guthrie famously sang This Land Is Your Land. This son is his son...

Arlo Guthrie - Ukulele Lady

5. Deliver them from evil.

Extra clue here: they were both wearing name badges. Don't say I don't help you out!

Anyway, these are the guys who famously performed the track below in the movie Deliverance.

Eric Weissberg & Steve Mandell - Duelling Banjos

4. Best to keep your Crown Jewels safe.

Towers Of London- Air Guitar

3. Chubby snorer gets shaken awake.

"Chubby snorer" was an anagram... of Bruce Hornsby.

Bruce Hornsby & The Range - Mandolin Rain

2. Irish light haulage driver.

That'll be Don O'Van.

Donovan - Hurdy Gurdy Man

1. Wonder Woman meets Friendly brother.

Wonder Woman's name is Diana. Ross was the only brother in Friends.

Diana Ross - My Old Piano

And yes, before anyone starts, a piano is a stringed instrument.

I'll be back to string you along with more of this nonsense next Saturday...

Snapshots #295: A Top Ten Biblical Character Songs

Time for Sunday School! Did you get all the Biblical characters featured in yesterday's Top Ten Commandments? Here they are...

10. Runner gets biceps.

Anagram!

Bruce Springsteen - Adam Raised A Cain

Or you could have had...

Bruce Springsteen - Daniel In The Lion's Den

9. Perforations.

The Pierces - The Good Samaritan

8. Did they kill a mockingbird?

Go read To Kill A Mockingbird again. Boo didn't do it.

The Boo Radleys - Lazarus

7. Nick Drake will meet these guys later.

Nick Drake sang about it getting Bryter Later,

Brighter - Noah's Ark

6. A hijack on lamas.

Anagram!

Mahalia Jackson - Joshua Fit The Battle Of Jericho

5. Hurley, Montgomery, Olsen... I'm listening.

Three Elizabeths... and Frasier Crane.

Elizabeth Fraser - Moses

4. Syrups for long-haired hounds.

Wigs for Afghans.

The Afghan Whigs - John The Baptist

3. Grab the Boss by the horns, by a homeware store.

Bruce is the Boss. By the horns, by. The Range is a big shop.

Bruce Hornsby & The Range - Jacob's Ladder

I prefer the Huey Lewis version, but Bruce hasn't featured here before... and he did write the song.

2. Mix Orange with Mellow Yellow.

Jason Orange + Donovan...

Jason Donovan - Joseph (Any Dream Will Do)

1. Parrot Seeking / Moon Jets.

Two anagrams for the price of one... and two songs to boot!

Regina Spektor - Samson

Tom Jones - Delilah 

Let there be more next week.

Saturday Snapshots #56 - The Answers

Picture this - a Sunday morning without any answers to Saturday Snapshots. No need to Call Me OR go Atomic... they're here!

I'm going to call this one a draw between Charity Chic and Lynchie, because even though Lynchie got half a point more than CC, Charity Chic was typing his answer to Number 4 at the same time as Alyson, who beat him to it by seconds. (To be fair, he then beat her to Number 2 by seconds. What a close match!) Plus, CC got Number 9 and Number 5, which were definitely the hardest to identify this week.


10. The clue's in the picture... and in the pack.

Wink Martindale - Deck of Cards

Lynchie called this "one of the most horrible songs to grace the pop charts", but it's one I remember Terry Wogan playing in my youth (with his own little wink as he did it) and I'll always have a special fondness for it, despite... or perhaps because of... the supreme cheese. I even found myself listening to a whole album of Wink's earnest talky songs the other day...

"And friends, the story is true. I know... I was that soldier."

9. Put your tongue between your lips and blow - you'll be a star by tomorrow!

The Raspberries - Overnight Sensation (Hit Record)

8. "One Spider-Man is enough!" says can of rotations.

A tin of turners. A tin a' turner.

Tina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero

7. Scouse lads lose the first day of the war while chasing a runaway lass.

A lad in Liverpool in Liverpool is a La, minus the D from D-Day.

The Las - There She Goes

6. Basil Brush flees Jelly Baby.

The Sweet - Fox On The Run

5. Three times Trio's lady (and Kenneth's, carry on) doesn't like Medium Wave.

Trio sang Da Da Da.

Kenneth Williams did Carry On.

Medium Wave was AM. If you don't listen to AM, you probably prefer FM.

Dar Williams - FM Radio

4. Where Gary Numan's friends live, with help from a whirlpool subsidy.

Whirlpool = eddy.

Subsidy = grant.

Gary Numan's friends are electric.

Eddy Grant - Electric Avenue

3. Snoop, Nate & Bonzo can't play out this evening, says their mum.

Three dogs' mama's told them not to go out at night.

Three Dog Night - Mama Told Me Not To Come

2. Photoshop can cheer you up.

Photoshop alters images.

Altered Images - I Could Be Happy

1. Chubby Snorer, at home on the stove. Can't change that.

Chubby Snorer is an anagram.

Home on the range.

A range is a stove.

Can't change that?



One Way Or Another, Saturday Snapshots will return next week. And it'll be our Halloween Special, so get up nice and early!

Hot 100 #64

No.

It was just too obvious a choice.

Plus, it's one of those Beatles songs that always annoyed me, even when I was a huge Beatles fan. Like most of the songs Ringo sang. (I've got a lot more time for him as a singer when he's not in the Beatles.)

Alyson did come up with some interesting research in her efforts to persuade me, and I'm never one to let other people's hard work go unrecognised...

Paul McCartney put lyrics to the music for the song later, in honour of his father's 64th birthday. Paul also split with Heather Mills when he was 64 so the answer was, no, she definitely wouldn't still be sending him a Valentine.

Also, as we all know, two of the Beatles sadly didn't make it to 64.

What else do we have then?

The Swede started out by taking one very small step away from the Fabs... The Rutles - Back In '64.

Then he zoomed as far away from them as possible with 64 Bits & Malachite by Baloji… which is... interesting. (I have become wary of any opinions that could be construed in any way as negative on this feature since I mumbled something vaguely disinterested about one of your previous suggestions a few weeks back, only for the artist themselves to - apparently - leave a comment.) So:  64 Bits & Malachite - instant classic! Thanks, Swede.

Martin then joined us, saying, "There's a lot of bang-average country, rap and Americana that all seems to reference cars from '64. I'm not going to pitch them all. Or any." Which is a shame, because I'd probably have liked all of them. Still, I appreciate your restraint.

Instead, Martin offered the following lyrical 64...

The Inspiral Carpets - Saturn 5

Lady, take a ride on a Zeke '64.

Two mentions for the Carpets in one week. Respect to the Oldham massive. Nice organ.

Lynchie also went the lyrical route, with a fine piece of Americana... Kate Campbell - Trains Don't Run from Nashville.

Momma waved goodbye to Daddy as he went off to war
She stood right here crying back in '64
And now it's me that stands here all alone on this old platform
And the trains don't run from Nashville anymore...

And then Jim from Dubai popped up with "the brilliant MJ Hibbett - Hey Hey 64K", which does actually turn out to be brilliant... although I only ever had a 48K. I used to dream of a 64K.

This week's winner, however, was suggested by both Martin and Rigid Digit, and comes from - no lie - one of my favourite albums of the 80s. It's the one song by this act that everyone knows, but the rest of that album really is quite special too.

Well they passed a law in 64

To give those who ain't got a little more

But it only goes so far...

Nothing so obvious for #63, I don't think. Over to your suggestions...

My Top Ten Roadworks Songs

These days, there are roadworks everywhere. It sometimes feels like some evil despot has traced a map of my journey to work and strategically placed mobile traffic lights at key places along every possible route. And why do they have to dig a hole and then leave it for a week, doing nothing in the meantime, before filling it in again? Why, oh why, oh why... Grumpy Old Man is moaning again.

Anyway, when I sat down to do a Top Ten songs about roadworks, I expected it to be a bit easier than it turned out to be. I may have missed some obvious ones... you'll tell me if I have, I'm sure.

Special mention to Men At Work...


10. Ether - Roadworks

The only song I can find with roadworks in the title - a forgotten speedbump on the rocky road of Britpop.

9. Bruce Hornsby - The Changes

I do like a good ivory-tickler, and Bruce is one of the best. With added smooth jazz here too!

The owner says he thinks we need some work
"Got a place for you, we got some roadwork -
Laying asphalt on the interstate."
Nobody cares, and why should they?

8. Nizlopi - JCB Song

You know when you get stuck behind a JCB on your way to work and you're cursing it? Remember - it might be Nizlopi's dad driving it.

7. Cosmo Jarvis - Road Closed

Another day, another road closure.

It seems Cosmo has closed the road on his music career lately, preferring to concentrate on acting. I hope he returns to the tunes soon.

6. Randy Newman - Potholes

God bless the potholes down on memory lane... Randy at his witty best.

5. Tom Waits - In The Neighbourhood

It appears Tom feels a similar frustration to the one I vented at the top of this post...

And there's always construction work bothering you
In the neighbourhood

And the jackhammer's diggin' up the sidewalks again
In the neighbourhood

But Tom Waits for NO roadworks!

4. Billy Bragg - From A Vauxhall Velux

Best use of the word "contraflow" in a pop song ever?

Mark E. Smith fans may choose to disagree.

3. The Beatles - A Day In The Life

You think your road is bad? Just be glad you don't live in Blackburn, Lancashire.

2. Bruce Springsteen - Working On The Highway

Take pity on the men who have to dig up our roads, particularly the ones who have no choice in the matter...

I work for the county out on 95
All day I hold a red flag and watch the traffic pass me by
In my head I keep a picture of a pretty little miss
Someday, mister, I'm gonna lead a better life than this

1. Sam Cooke - Chain Gang

Speaking of the guys working on the chain gang... here's the greatest song ever devoted to digging up roads.

All day long they work so hard
Till the sun is goin' down
Working on the highways and byways
And wearing, wearing a frown
You hear them moanin' their lives away
Then you hear somebody sa-ay

That's the sound of the men working on the chain gang

Although I could also have gone with...

The Pretenders - Back On The Chain Gang

The Raveonettes - Chain Gang Of Love

Johnny Cash - I'm Free From The Chain Gang Now


Which song hold you up on your way to work?

My Top Ten Summer Rain Songs

Well, we all knew it couldn't last, didn't we...?


10. Ash - Summer Snow

Steady on, Tim, you always have to take these things to an extreme, don't you?

9. ELO -  Summer and Lightning

For Christmas, 1976, Jeff got the BBC Sound Effects: Weather LP.

8. Elkie Brooks - Sunshine After the Rain

 The original: much better than the 90s cover.

7. Placebo - English Summer Rain

Good one from the goth-pixie.

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes,
English summer rain seems to last for ages.

6. Peter Gabriel - Red Rain

OK, I realise this is a stretch, but I love the song and that's all it takes to get out my shoehorn.

Warning: do not google search what this song is about. It's by Peter Gabriel... just accept the story behind it will be more mental than anything you can imagine.

Don't watch the scary video either.

5. Turin  Brakes - Pain Killer (Summer Rain)

Olly and Gale's biggest hit. Great to hear it again. 

Leave all this misery behind...

4. Belinda Carlisle - Summer Rain

Another of my unashamed teenage pop crushes. Ah, Belinda...

3. The Alarm - Rain In The Summertime

Some knew them as the Welsh U2. Except: they were good.

2. Bruce Hornsby & The Range - Mandolin Rain

Can't believe I've published over 150 posts on this blog and this is the first time I've been able to include any Bruce Hornsby. Gorgeous stuff.

Running down by the lake shore,
She did love the sound of a summer storm,
Played on the lake like a Mandolin,
Now it's washing her away... once again....

1. Beta Band - Dry The Rain

"I will now sell five copies of The Three E.P.s by The Beta Band", says John Cusack in the film version of Nick Hornby's High Fidelity (which, you will not be surprised to discover, is one of my favourite movies). However, the pedant in me always wants to complain that the version he plays in the shop isn't the one on The Three E.P.s... it's been specially edited for the movie.

Still. Great song. 



Which one is sheltering under your umbrella?