However, getting a good pun into a song title is much trickier than hiding one in the lyrics of your song. Rock music is full of dreadful puns - much as I might try to defend the reputation of REO Speedwagon, there's no excuse for their 1978 album title, You Can Tune A Piano But You Can't Tuna Fish.
Although it does contain one of their better songs...
Meanwhile, I've seen it suggested online that the song Bruise Pristine by Placebo is a pun on Bruce Springsteen. Not a very good pun, if that's actually true.
No, I'm talking about this forgotten classic from Johnny Cash's former backing group, The Statler Brothers. The great thing about this song is that when you hear the title - You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith, Too - you figure there's no way the song is ever going to live up to it. And then it does, with a hilariously touching tale of two-timing and jealousy and the mildest curses you'll ever hear, considering what this guy is putting up with. If I were him, I'd be using words a lot stronger than "you rascal, you!".
Jim from Dubai has been a regular visitor to this blog for some years now. I've always welcomed his comments, and the fact that he boosted my international readership beyond Portugal and the USA. Recently, Jim was one of a few people who helped me track down a copy of the song Obvious by Dean Owens' band Smile for the biggest edition of Namesakes to date. As part of our ensuing conversation, I asked him if he fancied a guest post, wondering if he might tell us a little more about the life of British music fan in Dubai. Well, Jim delivered, and I'm privileged to offer his guest post below, along with a selection of tunes of his choice...
Checking in on blogs like yours, The Vinyl Villain, and another few have kept me interested in music during my time in Dubai.
Before I moved here I grew up in Glasgow and used to go to regular gigs and was always listening to and buying music, but since I moved here in 2000, you can probably guess, the music scene here is very poor.
To be honest, I was always a bit of a homeboy, I loved Glasgow and the music scene back in the late 90s / early 2000s and it never crossed my mind I would work in another country. Then right out the blue one of my colleagues who I had worked with who had moved to Dubai with the same company called me to ask if I fancied a move to Dubai. Back then Dubai was not the metropolis it is now, I had hardly heard of it. I was single at the time and spoke to my family and friends and everyone said to me I may regret it in the future if I didn't take this chance so I gave it a go and almost 24 years later I am still here. I am now 30 years with the company, a large US communications company who supply cables and communications products for data centres and stuff like that.
One of my reservations for leaving to come to Dubai was I would miss the music scene, hearing music, and buying records. Remember, back then there wasn't YouTube, streaming or accessible music to listen to, so I knew I was giving that up.
Unfortunately, the music scene in Dubai at the moment is pretty poor. There are no regular decent music nights and not really any bars that play good music (well, music that I like anyway). There are some really great bars and there are new bars opening nearly every week, however most of them play a similar type of music which is generally bland dance / DJ type music, R&B, Hip Hop. Many will have bands that play regular overplayed rock music... also the cost of a beer is generally between £10-£13!!
During the 24 years I have been here, there have been some great music nights and I have met some folks who have a similar taste in music so there are some of us here.
When I first arrived in Dubai, I didn't really know anyone and I was staying in a hotel for the first few weeks. I was not one for going out to a bar by myself but when you are in a new country and it is the weekend you either stay in or you make the effort and go out for a few beers. Luckily, the first year or so I was here, there was a pop music quiz in one of the bars and one thing I love is a music quiz.
I went by myself and stood at the bar. There were a lot of teams, mainly British folks, but even though I missed the first round as I got delayed and arrived a bit late, I still won the quiz. I went back again the next week, again stood at the bar by myself and again won the quiz. When I went back the third week, a couple of lads came up and spoke to me, British lads who liked their music, and I ended up joining their team. One of the lads, Steve, is still my best mate in Dubai and another real music obsessive. He is still in Dubai. We have been to many gigs here over the years and we still burn CDs to each other with whatever music we have been listening to. I remember one time, we were all up at Steve's house before going into town, and he played this. I had never heard of The Strokes at this time, but I loved this song and it started my love of all things Strokes.
Myself, Steve and another lad, Calum, liked our quizzes and our music, we quickly found that we all had a love of The Associates and the song Party Fears Two, so when we went to other quizzes as the 3 of us, our quiz team name became Party Fears 3, and 24 years later I still use that name for any quiz nights we go to. If there are 4 of us, we are Party Fears 4; 5, Party Fears 5, etc. Everyone here just knows us as Party Fears, but almost no ones knows the meaning of it.
The first big music night here that really appealed to me was an Indie night that ran for about 5 years from about 2003 to 2008. It was called Twisted Melons and was the last Friday of the month. It started with about a dozen people, but once it got running there were normally over 100 people there. Great night, great music, as you can probably guess, the likes of Happy Mondays, Stone Roses, New Order and the like, but the for first hour or so they played some unusual stuff we had not heard of, so this was also a good way for me to hear some decent new music.
My favourite memory of Twisted Melons is Young Folk by Peter, Bjorn and John. I remember hearing this for the first time there and loving it. I spoke to the DJ to ask what it was and I have loved it ever since.
As Dubai is such a transient city, people come and go with their jobs and unfortunately the DJs left Dubai and Twisted Melons finished.
A few years later, in one of the small pubs in the old part of the city, one of my friends started a Northern Soul night which was great. A small pub venue with around 50 odd people all generally British folks between 40 to 60 who loved the music. I admit I was not the biggest Northern Soul fan, my wife Jude had a lot of old Kent label albums on vinyl and loved this music. I got to like it more over the years. The one song that gets me immediately on to the dance floor would be The Night by Frankie Valli.
A bit of talcum powder on the floor and everyone having a wee boogie, great while it lasted, but again the DJ moved on and that night stopped.
There was a band we used to go and watch who played one of the pubs once a month. They were called The 1990s. They played mainly Brit Poppy type music, Oasis, Kings of Leon, Kaiser Chiefs, also things like the The Kinks, Stones, the Jam and stuff. This was always a great night but due to Covid, many of the lads lost their jobs or moved on, so again it finished.
Over the past year, the Dubai Vespa and Lambretta Club have had some good music related brunches, normally on a Saturday afternoon from 12.30pm till around 5-6pm. It starts off with Northern Soul but soon moves onto late 70's / early 80's stuff like The Jam, Specials, Clash, Madness, Bad Manners and the likes, which gets the place going, then moves onto Indie / Brit pop with the likes of Oasis, Blur, Pulp, Primal Scream and stuff. Unfortunately, there were only three of these days in the past year, they really need to have more of these days / nights. There's one song that gets everyone on the dancefloor once we're all suitably lubricated...
There have been a quite a few bands who have played here over the years but these are mainly older acts such as:
The Stranglers (without Hugh Cornwell), then Hugh Cornwell playing solo, so we have seen the Original Stranglers line up just not on the same night or stage.
The Human League, a few times.
Madness
Bryan Ferry
The Wonderstuff
Simple Minds, a few times.
Billy Ocean
James
The Stone Roses
Suede
The Lightning Seeds
Neil Finn (doing a mixture of Crowded House and Split Enz)
80's Rewind Festivals (with the likes of ABC, Midge Ure, From The Jam, Nick Heyward, Marc Almond, Tony Hadley, Altered Images)
Ska Night (Neville Staples doing The Specials stuff, Pauline Black doing The Selector stuff and Ranking Roger doing The Beat). Jude got her photo taken with Ranking Roger. She was really heartbroken when he passed away a few years ago.
About 10 years ago they also had a mini Indie type festival called Sound City. It was over three days and we had the likes of Happy Mondays, The Farm, The Doves, Human League, Super Furry Animals and many more.
Here in Dubai, we end up going to see bands or artists we may not have gone to see in the UK as we don't get many decent people coming here so we end up going with friends to see anyone half decent.
I met my wife Jude here in Dubai, she is from Birmingham and loves music, she grew up on a diet of Ska and the likes of The Specials, The Beat etc. back in the late 70's early 80's.
Dubai is a tough city to meet someone as it is such a transient city, around 85% of the population is expatriate and most people tend to be here for a short period of time, job permitting, so I was very lucky to meet Jude and especially as she is a big music fan too.
We got married in 2015 in the UK and went to the Indietracks festival near Derby for our honeymoon (before going to Italy), with my mate Steve and his wife Kat from Dubai, he was my best man. We went to Indietracks twice - the first time, two of my favourite Indie Pop bands, Helen Love and BIS, were playing so that was the main reason we went.
I was speaking to one of the guys on the stalls selling records and told him we came from Dubai specially to see Helen Love and BIS and he arranged for me to meet Sheena from Helen Love before they went onto the stage. She was very nice, very nervous and it was great to have a chat with her. They put on an amazing show, was one of the highlights of the weekend.
We have also been to a few places on our travels to see some bands:
Budapest, to see Placebo. Jude is a big Placebo fan, so when I saw they were touring Europe and specifically Budapest on her birthday, we went for a few days. Budapest is a great city and the Placebo gig was great. This was the highlight...
Hamburg, to see Sparks. I have always loved Sparks, the fact that Ron and Russell are still releasing albums and touring well into their 70s is incredible, I have every Sparks studio album, well over 20 of them, some hit and miss but overall a great body of work.
The thing we loved about this gig was the venue which was Mojo's.
We knew the venue was at the top of the Reeperbahn, so we went to check it out on the day we arrived, just so we knew where it was. Using Google maps, we were standing exactly where the venue should have been, but we couldn't see any sign of it. After a while we noticed what looked like a huge drain on the pavement, and it had a kind of "M" shape embossed on it, so we thought maybe it might be underground. We came back the night of the gig and right enough, the pavement had opened up and there was a stairway leading underground. We were amazed, it was a great night and one of the best venues I have been to.
As much as I love This Town Ain't Big Enough and The Number One Song in Heaven, which they played on the night, I have plumped for a song which unfortunately they did not play...
New York, to see Silversun Pickups. Jude retired last year. She is a huge Elvis fan, so I promised I would take her to Graceland once she retired. We spent two weeks in the US, a few days in New York, Memphis with Gracelands, Sun Studios and the amazing Stax Studios which we spent hours in and we finished off in New Orleans spending our nights in the various soul bars there.
While in New York, we saw that The Silversun Pickups were playing at The Webster Theatre and managed to get tickets. I only really knew a couple of their songs but we were happy to get to a gig whilst there. We have since bought their albums and really like them. The stand out track and another one of my favourite songs is Lazy Eye, from the opening riff as it builds up until it explodes, top tune.
And in August last year, we went to Bangkok to see The Strokes (and also The Bangkok Beatles, who are brilliant).
I hope there will be more in the future.
Overall, Dubai is a great, vibrant city to live in, with sunshine most days of the year. However, for five months of the year, it is too hot and humid, 40-50 degrees most days. During this period it's too humid to be outdoors, especially in the evenings.
You asked if I ever get homesick. Sometimes I do, especially missing my family and friends, but I have been here for so long now and met many good friends and that helps a lot, I have also had family and friends visit over the years. It's a nice place to visit, especially during the UK winter months.
The one thing I do miss is when I see gigs or bands advertised playing in the UK and I am out here and realize I am missing so many great nights, that's the one thing I miss.
PS: I know you said you previously worked in Radio. My minor claim to fame was back in 1997, my boss entered me for Music Brain on Radio 1. It was a music quiz by Mark Goodier that ran the whole year and I was lucky enough to win it. I was on it three times during the year and the final was just before Christmas. I was delighted to win it as I love a good music quiz. It was a kinda precursor to Pop Master I suppose, as it was a year before Pop Master started and only ran for one year.
I can't thank Jim enough for this post. When I asked him if he fancied doing a guest post, I had no idea he'd put so much into it. I'm sure you'll agree it makes for a fascinating insight into the adventures of a British music fan abroad, with a great selection of tunes to go along with it. Thanks again, Jim - you're a star!
Love is an emotion we primarily link to our hearts,
perhaps because our heart beats faster when we see the person we love. Except
it’s only doing that because that’s what our brain told it to do.
Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked
to physiological arousal as a whole. Typically, that's going to start with
things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so on.
Simply thinking about the object of your affections is
enough to trigger dopamine release, making you feel excited and eager to do
whatever it takes to see them.
Then, when you actually do see them, your brain “rewards”
you with more dopamine, which you experience as intense pleasure.
I could go on, but putting aside adolescent hormones and teenage
notions such “being in love with love”, or as Donny put it…
…I think it’s fair to say I was getting a fair few
dopamine hits whenever I saw this girl, spent time with her, or thought about her.
Doesn’t sound quite so romantic, that, does it?
2. Was she actually called Maddie? Well, her name was
Madeline, and that was how she referred to herself. I never heard anyone else
call her Maddie, but I did on occasion. Did I do this as a sign of affection?
Clearly. Was it actually what she wanted? I’m not sure.
The reason I called her Maddie (and possibly one of the
reasons I was so “in love” with her) is because I was obsessed with the TV show
Moonlighting at the time, and its main characters were David (Bruce
Willis) Addison and Maddie (Cybill Shepherd) Hayes. I didn’t particularly fancy
Cybill Shepherd, and “my” Maddie looked nothing like her, but David and Maddie
had a whole “will they / won’t they” thing going on, and in my head I was
confusing fantasy with reality, as teenagers are wont to do. The other thing
that happened in Moonlighting was that David Addison occasionally broke the
fourth wall, and seemed at times to be aware that he was a character in a TV
show. This notion appealed to me greatly, and together with my mate Richard, we
regularly talked about our own lives as though they
were episodes of a TV show. Actually, this was an idea I’d been working on
throughout my childhood – in my head, I had my own TV station (one that
switched over to being just a radio station when I went to bed… it was
complicated). This might seem like irrelevant information, but you’ll need to
know it later. There will be a quiz.
3. Clearly Maddie did know I existed since we had regular
conversations, mostly on the long bus journeyhome where we would often sit together – well,
not together on the same seat, but usually on adjacent seats. And when we got
off the bus, those conversations would often continue while I walked her home –
well, we were going in the same direction, and I carried on up the hill after
she’d crossed the road to go into her own house. Were both of these situations led
by me? I mean, did she ever choose to sit by me or was she always on the bus
when I got on with empty seats in her vicinity? Was I merely preferable to some
of the other losers and malcontents on that bus? Did she secretly want to walk
up that hill on her own but she was just being polite when I tagged along?
Looking back, I might think that. I certainly
manufactured situations in which we could bump into each other or be in the
same place together, but that’s what you do at that age, isn’t it? The whole
thing’s a minefield, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it any more. In my
defence, I will offer the rainy lunchtimes we spent together in the music
block, practicing our instruments. (Not a euphemism.) She played piano better
than me, and some other kind of wind instrument (clarinet?) while I had my
tenor horn and we would, on occasion, hang out in one of the practice rooms, mucking
about with music, but mostly just chatting and having a laugh.
(I should perhaps at this point reveal that, about a year
or so later, my friend Simon got so sick of me going
on about Maddie that he went to ask her if she’d like to go out with me.
Because clearly I was never going to do such a thing myself. I was great at dropping
hints, but no way was I going to approach her directly. So anyway, Simon
asked her out for me… and what ensued? Only one of those awful, embarrassing
(for everyone) sitcom scenarios in which Maddie actually thought that Simon was
asking her out for himself (rather than me), excitedly accepting, only to then…
well, you can guess the rest.)
In my previous Self-Help For Cynics Post, I wrote about
the Storytelling Brain. How the brain uses stories to create neural pathways
which teach us how to deal with things that happen to us in our lives. This appears
to be a wonderful thing… until it goes wrong. And when it does go wrong, those
same neural pathways end up reinforcing negative opinions, beliefs or ideas
based on responses to negative experiences. Dr. Faith explains, in her own
inimitable style…
But clearly the storytelling brain has the capacity to be
a serious fucking problem too. We start telling ourselves (and believing)
certain stories about ourselves and the world around us. Our brains are wired
to crave certainty. We WANT to see patterns in what happens to us so we can
make better decisions about the world and how we are supposed to keep ourselves
safe in it.
The emotional brain makes a decision for us and the
thinking brain has to scramble to come up with a reason why.
Which brings me back to the will-they / won’t-they romance
in my 16 year old brain.
It was the end of term. Or, in the TV station of my head,
it was the last episode of the series. Everything was building up to a climax,
because that’s what happens at the end of a series. On our final journey home
together before the holidays, I got up the courage to clumsily drop the biggest
hint so far to Maddie that I was interested in being a little more than
friends. The ironic thing is, I have very little memory of what I actually
said, I only recall that it went as well as it could have done (no outright
rejection, anyway… then again, clearly she didn’t swoon into my arms either)
and that I was left with a distinct feeling that when I saw her again… maybe…
we’d be ready to move up to the next level. Like, I dunno, actually sitting
together on the same seat or something.
As a result, I walked home that night in a state of
euphoria. Which is all in the brain, again! Healthline
explains…
That giddy, euphoric
excitement you feel when spending time with the person you love (or seeing them
across the room, or hearing their name)? You can trace this entirely normal
effect of falling in love back to the neurotransmitter dopamine.
Ah, that pesky dopamine again. I’m surprised it took me so long to get to
that little critter. Harvard
Health goes into more detail…
Dopamine is most notably
involved in helping us feel pleasure as part of the brain’s reward system. Sex,
shopping, smelling cookies baking in the oven — all these things can trigger
dopamine release, or a "dopamine rush."
This feel-good
neurotransmitter is also involved in reinforcement. That’s why, once we try one
of those cookies, we might come back for another one (or two, or three).
Hopped up on dopamine following my seemingly successful
hint drop, I was keen to share this with my friend Richard, who understood the
language of 4th wall breaking imaginary TV shows better than any of
my other contemporaries.
A little bit about Richard, before I go on. We’d been
mates for about three or four years by this point, and along with my other mate
Simon, who I’d known since junior school, we’d formed a pretty tight little
group. Best friends? I’m not sure I’ve ever had a best friend, but the three of
us were as close as we could be without ever using that terminology. Although
Simon and I had the longer friendship, and many shared interests, Rich and I
had bonded over a love of music. That began with Queen (particularly A Kind Of
Magic, which was out around then) and classic Motown. Although lately, his
tastes had been changing. He’d become obsessed with the Smiths (who, at the
time, I hated) and the Pet Shop Boys, a band I liked (bought quite a few of
their singles) but clearly didn’t connect with on the same level that he did. I
liked Neil Tennant’s arch lyrics, while Rich liked the beats. It was the
mid-late 80s, and although I didn’t realise it at the time, I was losing him to
dance music.
I don't like country-and-western I don't like rock music I don't like, I don't like rockabilly or rock 'n' roll particularly Don't like much really, do I? But what I do like I love passionately
On that fateful evening then, I gave him a call to update
him on the end-of-season cliff-hanger involving Maddie… but when he answered
the phone, something was off. There was music playing in the background, and
Rich seemed distracted. As I poured my euphoric heart out, it quickly became
apparent that Rich was only half listening to me, that someone else was there,
and that they were taking up more of his attention. And after a few minutes I
realised that whoever it was, was laughing at me. Laughing at the private
conversation I was having with my friend, at my pathetic attempts at romance,
and that Rich was laughing too.
You call me on the phone, you left me all alone All I get from you is shellshock Another day goes by and all I do is cry All I get from you is shellshock
I stopped and asked Rich what was going on. Who was there
with him? And that’s when he told me.
It was Swanny.
All you need to know about Swanny is that he lived a few
doors down from Rich and that he was a complete and utter arsehole. A couple of
years prior, he’d indulged (along with a few other kids) in some minor league
bullying, of which I was one of his semi-regular marks. And as far as I was
concerned, the scars were still fresh.
“What are you doing?” I asked Rich, meaning, “Why are you
laughing at me? Why aren’t you being the friend and confidant I’ve come to
expect and rely on? Why are you pissing all over my euphoria… with fucking
Swanny!?!”
“Nothing,” said Rich. “We’re just listening to the new
New Order record.”
I hung up the phone and didn’t speak to Rich again for
the next nine months. Eventually Simon managed to get us talking again, and we
made up… in a way. But it was never the same.
When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now that we've grown up together They're afraid of what they see
Thirty-five years later, I still can’t listen to New
Order. This is something which sets me at odds with large sections of the music
blogging community who worship the ground Bernard and Peter (and whatever the
rest of them are called) make beats on. And it’s all down to my story-telling
brain, which has inextricably linked the anger, embarrassment and shame I felt
that evening in 1988 to New Order’s Technique. Neural pathways have been
created which mean that whenever I hear New Order on the radio, or see another
post pop up about them on one of my favourite blogs, I’m taken back to that
night and all those unpleasant feelings.
"Unpleasant feelings" though... as adolescent trauma goes, I will admit that this is pretty mild. However, the same principle applies to much deeper wounds, in theory.
Since I was born I started to decay Now nothing ever, ever goes my way
Dr. Faith would no doubt tell me that this can be fixed.
That if I started listening to more New Order, thereby allowing my brain to
create new neural pathways which could over-ride the old ones, that would
eventually lead to positive associations and responses, and my opinion of the
band might change. It is possible to re-wire your brain in this way… after all,
as I mentioned earlier, I used to hate The Smiths, and then in my 20s, various
things happened which allowed me to hear them in a new light. If I put enough
energy and effort into it then, perhaps I could make myself like New Order.
Are there any bands you hate because your brain has
linked their music to painful memories?
I would like a place I could call my own Have a conversation on the telephone Wake up every day that would be a start I would not complain of my wounded heart
Post script...
A weird thing happened while compiling this post. I actually sat and listened to the New Order songs above, and I didn't hate them as much as I thought I did.
Now you can call this wishful thinking or a self-fulfilling prophecy, or me just trying to make a point. Wanting to believe in something, then making it so. Theodor Herzl: "If you will it, it is no dream." Surely it can't be as easy as that...?
Last week it was Always vs. Alvvays, with the double Vs soundly thrashing the double Us.
This week, you all need to take your medicine. And really believe it’s going to make you better…
PLACEBO #1
Your first dose comprises a measure of early-70s Jazz-Rock from Belgium. This Placebo were the brainchild of Brussels-born “jazz legend” Marc Moulin. They released three albums between 1971 and 1974, most notably their debut record Ball Of Eyes which had a very distinctive cover.
Moulin went on to join “avant-rock” band Aksak Maboul (I’m always wary of bands that use the prefix “avant”) before discovering synths and forming the electro-pop group Telex.
Here’s a track from Ball Of Eyes… Nice!
PLACEBO #2
Skip forward to 1982 and the Durham village of Pity Me, which has officially become my favourite place in the world. I’m seriously thinking of moving there. In Pity Me, you would find Guardian Studios, wherein Gary and Michelle Wild recorded their sole album as Placebo, England’s Trance. I had to do some real digging to find out about this one, but I think one or two of you may well dig its spiky new wave vibe…
The album was re-issued in the 90s, rebranded as “The Original Placebo” (although, as we now know, that’s not strictly true).
PLACEBO #3
Most of you will be familiar with Leslie Feist, usually known by her surname alone, of iPod-flogging 1234 fame. But did you know that she started her musical career at 15 as the lead singer in an early 90s Canadian punk bank called Placebo?
You didn’t?
Well, you do now.
PLACEBO #4
Probably the Placebo you’re most familiar with, Brian Molko’s band formed in the mid-90s and released a debut album full of cracking guitar tunes that still sound good today. Since then, they’ve released another seven long players and are still going strong, although I can’t say I’ve heard anything from them lately that sounds half as good as Nancy Boy.
It’s like a medical trial! Four different Placebos to choose from… but which one makes you feel better? Let me know in the comments…
American metal band 36 Crazyfists (named after a Jackie Chan movie) welcome us back to the Hot 100 countdown after a week's break. Let's get straight onto your suggestions...
Martin started us out with what may well seem the obvious one. Alyson seconded this and added a little extra commentary...
The song was written over 25 years ago but nothing seems to have changed, in
fact in anything things have got worse. Red haired singer Briana
Corrigan left the band because of it, feeling that the lyrics criticised
the glamour models rather than the industry that pays them.
What
are we doing to a large chunk of the female population who seem to
think the route to happiness and success is still via grossly enlarged
chesticles. Argh.... Sorry rant over!
No need to apologise, Alyson, you can rant here anytime you want.
To be honest, that was almost this week's winner as I used to love that song, but Mr. Heaton has done pretty well out of this countdown so far, so I decided to go in a different direction.
Ow, she's a brick house Well put-together, everybody knows This is how the story goes She knows she got everything That a woman needs to get a man, yeah, yeah How can she lose with the stuff she use 36 24 36, oh what a winning hand
Beyond
the gleeful 70s objectification of larger ladies, you can imagine
British DJs having to bite their tongue every time they played this
record so as not to add an extra word to the title.
How about a groovy foot-stomping early '60s instrumental from The Shadows - 36-24-36 (no idea what it's about though, a phone number
perhaps or a bank sort code?)
Did they have sort codes in the 60s?
Finally in this particular subsection, Bobby Bland knows a lady with similar dimensions...
Placebo - 36 Degrees (That would have taken the bronze medal this week from me.)
However, Lynchie, Charity Chic and Rigid Digit all agreed on this week's winning tune. Not that this is a democracy - your votes really don't count. Not unless I agree with them. (Insert your own comment about the current establishment here.) Luckily, I did agree... Jesus Of Cool is a great album!
Next week - the minimum age requirement to stand for election as President of the United States of America. Age requirement, not IQ. Any ideas for 35?
War, war is stupid and people are stupid... but not you guys, because you solve Saturday Snapshots every week! (Well, as I type this there are two still oustanding... but I'm hoping someone will solve them overnight). I may be a man without conviction, but I appreciate you playing along every weekend... and I think we can all agree that C is this week's undisputed Karma Chameleon. Well done, C!
10. Tomorrows' last page.
The placement of the possessive apostrophe is important as it indicates more than one Sunday.
Mrs. Reagan's son would be Nancy's Boy... which always reminds me of an old Spitting Image sketch about Larry Speakes, of which the title of this song is the punchline. But I can't find it on youtube, sadly.
I set quite a challenge with my Number 88 choice, offering ten points for a correct guess, figuring that nobody would stand a chance.
Nobody did.
However, a couple of you came VERY close... so close in fact that you revealed to me something I didn't even know about the song I'd chosen. It's not an original. It's a parody! More on that in a moment...
First, the runners-up...
The Swede suggested Rocket 88, one of the forerunners of rock 'n' roll, originally recorded by Jackie Brenston and his Delta Cats... with a little help from Ike Turner (Brenston was Ike's saxophonist). It's been covered since by all manner of rock 'n' roll greats, but its place in the history of rock 'n' roll would surely guarantee it a place in this countdown... if it wasn't for a certain other song we'll get to shortly.
All of which brings us to my choice, an irresistible hymn to all the geeky girls the singer had dated in the past. It's a track I stumbled across when it went viral a few years back and being a bit of a geek myself, I loved all the lyrical references...
Of course, I really should do my research. Because up until last week, I had no idea that this was actually a parody of a much older song by an American band from the 70s and 80s called The Nails. I do not claim to know everything, so I'll happily tip my hat (and award points to) Alyson, Rigid Digit and Swiss Adam for directing me towards the original... which I also now love... though not quite as much as the Adam Fromm version. You never get over your first love.
Eighty-seven? No definites, it's a pretty open field. Any ideas?
If you've not yet worked it out: Todd Rundgren was proper mental. I suppose that's why he ended up producing Bat Out Of Hell. His solo stuff, though: it rocks, but it's mad.
Iffypedia says this track was written about a homosexual, drug-addicted goth in Luxembourg... so it's really 'Bourger Queen, if you want to be pedantic about it. Great song from the second Placebo album, Without You I'm Nothing.
Slightly bemused by his lack of direction Hey You, Hey You
Came to this world by cesarean section Hey You, Hey You Chooses his clothes to match his pallid complexion Hey You, Hey You Now it takes him all day just to get an erection
Brilliant lyrics and a top tune from Oslo's Sjur Lyseid, tipping his hat to Springsteen and telling a story (I think) about a one night stand that's doomed never to go any further...
My shirt says "Replacements" Yours, it has a statement That's where we start falling apart
A
song about the shitty treatment of Native Americans by The White Man,
filtered through the metaphor of a horny teenage boy trying it on with
"a pretty Little Indian Girl". Mellencamp at his best.
Now everybody has got the choice Between hotdogs and hamburgers Every one of us has got to choose Between right and wrong And givin' up or holdin' on
Normally we might take this as just Moz's spangly Hollywood big-screen remake of Meat Is Murder...
In America, it brought you the hamburger. Well America you know where You can shove your hamburger. And don't you wonder, why in Estonia they say? Hey you, you big fat pig, You fat pig, you fat pig!
Steely blue eyes with no love in them, scan the world, And a humourless smile, with no warmth within, greets the world. And I, I have got nothing to offer you No-no-no-no-no, just this heart deep and true, Which you say you don't need...
In light of recent events though... it seems due a re-issue.
1. Little Feat - Hamburger Midnight
The debut single from Little Feat's self-titled 1971 debut album finds Lowell George broke, sleeping in his car and suffering from the ha-ha-hamburger midnight blues...
When I started doing these Top Tens on the old blog... probably about seven or eight years ago now... they were mostly full of indie bands. That's rarely the case these days, but every now and then a topic seems to bring them out of the woods.
Here's ten songs asking / telling you to 'Come Home!' Next week, a reply post - ten 'I'm Coming Home!' songs. (So save those for then.)
Special mention to Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) which would have made the Top Three if I allowed Christmas songs in March...
A night out in London makes the Rakes want to go home. Amusing lyrics on this one.
In the bar your mates spot a celebrity
But you're not fussed by the gay guy off CBBC
Limos ferry hen-nights to the West End
The night is dragging it's heels to the end
Now he's in your face
"Got any drugs on you mate?"
You get out for some peace
Still get home by half 3 (leave the city and come home)
The opening track on Placebo's debut, back in the grand old days of 1996. Brian Molko described this one as "pop punk for postponed suicides". But he always was a bit of a one.
Very cool song from the highly acclaimed new LP from The Charlatans (which I have out on loan from the local library at the moment - and yes, it's pretty cool)... though I don't think Tim Burgess has looked like he does in this video for a LONG time now.
A typically quirky story single about an international business traveller (with a pigeon head in the video) who wakes up after a wild night of debauchery and has to make it home in time for his son's big football game. Only Neil Hannon could have written this one.
Though they only ever released two albums, Roland Gift's Fine Young Cannibals are fondly remembered round these parts. Mixing jangly guitars and a nice bit of brass with Gift's soul singer tonsils, they made some of the most distinctive pop songs of the 80s. This was their debut single from 1985, the year Marty McFly first travelled back in time.
1. James - Come Home
After 8 years knocking around the indie charts, James finally started to bother the real Top 40 in 1990. It was a dark time for decent music and James offered everything we needed in a pop band - big hooks, heartfelt choruses and a bonkers frontman. Come Home equalled its predecessor, How Was It For You, making Number 32 with a bullet... but it was a start, and not soon after Sit Down broke them into the Top Ten. Come Home is probably a better song though, with its wailing sirens, impassioned pleading and Tim Booth waving a big stick around in the desert-set video. And it still sounds fresh 25 years later...
OK, I realise this is a stretch, but I love the song and that's all it takes to get out my shoehorn.
Warning: do not google search what this song is about. It's by Peter Gabriel... just accept the story behind it will be more mental than anything you can imagine.
Can't believe I've published over 150 posts on this blog and this is the first time I've been able to include any Bruce Hornsby. Gorgeous stuff.
Running down by the lake shore,
She did love the sound of a summer storm,
Played on the lake like a Mandolin,
Now it's washing her away... once again....
1. Beta Band - Dry The Rain
"I will now sell five copies of The Three E.P.s by The Beta Band", says John Cusack in the film version of Nick Hornby's High Fidelity (which, you will not be surprised to discover, is one of my favourite movies). However, the pedant in me always wants to complain that the version he plays in the shop isn't the one on The Three E.P.s... it's been specially edited for the movie.
And now she's living in a shack on the firing line,
With a fridge filled with French bacon,
Mouthing all the words of a famous mime,
For whom she's commonly mistaken. I love her, I knew her,
I knew she couldn't hang,
And now she's dying in a ditch on the county line,
From a device of her own making.
Woke up this morning and all I had was Sunny Delight...
(Not really. I hate Sunny Delight.)
6. James - Coffee & Toast
One of my favourite James songs, frustratingly unreleased except as a bonus download from one of their later albums. They should have made it a single.
OK, so it's probably got very little to do with Mr. Kelloggs' greatest invention. But it's a mighty, mighty tune nevertheless. Video's a bit weird though.
