This post was inspired by a new song from Stephen Wilson Jr., an Americana artist I’ve only recently discovered. He’s worthy of further investigation if this sort of thing is your bag.
Anyway, the chorus informs us, “There ain't a
lot of boys named Gary these days”, a reminder of how birth names fall in and
out of fashion. (Amusingly, they’ve got the actor Gary Sinise to star in the
video… although it doesn’t end well for him.) This got me thinking about
the names of the kids Sam goes to school with… versus the ones I went to school
with.
I have a nephew called Gary. He’s about ten or twelve years
younger than me. But there are no Garys in Sam’s school. Neither is there a
Neil or a Sean, the names of my other nephews.
I started to think about the most common names of kids I
grew up with.
Sam doesn’t know any Richards. No Ricks or Rickys either.
And while he probably knows a few dicks… there are definitely no Dicks.
He also doesn’t go to school with anyone called Paul.
Steven? Stephen? Steve? Stevie? Not a one.
Andrew… he knows one Andy. There must have been a dozen in
my school.
Fantastic Negrito – A Boy Named Andrew
Most shocking of all though… Sam doesn’t know anyone called
David.
No Daves!?!
Everyone knows a Dave – surely?! Two of my best mates are
called Dave – and I only have three and a half friends.
No Darrens, no Phils, no Jasons, no Brians, and definitely no Kevins.
The Undertones - My Perfect Cousin
He does know a heck of a lot of Georges though… he told me
he could count 15, but he might have been exaggerating. Slightly.
Edwyn Collins - Gorgeous George
Other common boys’ names in Sam’s school?
Harry.
Arthur.
Albert.
Isaac.
Frank.
The Monochrome Set - He's Frank (Slight Return)
Eli.
Three Dog Night - Eli's Coming
Alfie.
(Sorry, Cilla's version goes right through me.)
The weird thing is, I didn’t go to school with a single one
of those. In fact, if you’d asked me when I was a kid, I would have told you
they were all old men names. Harry Bamforth was an old farmer who lived across
the fields from us. So was Arthur Lockwood. And Frank Shaw. Albert Tatlock and
Alf Roberts were old blokes on Coronation Street. Eli and Isaac were names I
only read about in Old Testament RE lessons.
I wonder if, in another 20 years’ time, the classrooms will be full of Garys, Darrens and Daves again? There probably won't be many Donalds... but I could be wrong.
A final word today from Nigel (no Nigels in Sam's school either)...
A woman who described herself as "a little bit 'Bridget',
A little bit 'Ally', a little bit 'Sex and the City'"
And chose to call her baby boy Fred
As a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction
To those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert
Bit of advice, call him Rupert, it fits, and besides it's a good name
Don't be calling him Fred or Archie
With all its cheeky but lovable working class scamp connotations
Unless you really do have plans for him
To spend his life in William Hills waiting
For them to weigh in at Newton Abbot
In case you're wondering - yes, there will be a follow-up to this post about girl's names.
Probably next week some time.
