Sadly, in December 1963, Pat Hare made this song a reality when he shot his girlfriend and a policeman who came to question him. He spent the last 16 years of his life in prison, where he formed the band Sounds Incarcerated.
We're back with more song titles that did their job - made me give the associated tune a little more attention. Which catches your eye... and does it also catch your ear?
1. I See Hawks In LA - My Parka Saved Me
One of the tricks writers use to engage our interest, I tell my rapt* students, is to create questions in the reader's mind. A really good title or opening line will do this. This song title caught my attention, and pleasingly the story that went along with it lived up to my expectations. Great opening line too!
I got stoned after breaking up with my boyfriend And he became a Born Again Christian
I See Hawks In LA are from Los Angeles, where clearly they keep their eyes to the skies, and their tongues firmly in their cheeks.
(*I like to imagine all my students are rapt, even if they're not.)
2. The Panic Brothers - I've Forgotten What It Is That I Was Drinking to Forget
Here's a recommendation from Martin, and funnily enough, it's a band he introduced me to many moons ago. I liked them so much, I bought the CD, as Victor Kiam might have said if he'd been a music blogger rather than a silver haired, razor blade hawking huckster.
3. Gene - The Police Will Never Find You
Not that I'm going out of my way to be mean to Martin, but he's going to have a tough decision this week when it comes to selecting his favourite tune. Will it be the one he put forward... or this, from one of his favourite bands?
I'm a huge Gene fan, but they never presented themselves as tough guys, so when they released their third album in 1999, it was quite a shock to see them getting seriously menacing, with both this and the final track, You'll Never Walk Again.
Perhaps the reason I liked these two song titles so much (particularly coming from a bunch of fey milksops like Gene) was that they reminded me of the time I got beaten up by some thugs in high school and made the mistake of shouting up at them, from the playground where I lay, "you'll never know my ultimate strength!" This is what reading too many Spider-Mam comics at an impressionable age will do to you. Oh, how we they laughed.
4. Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
I might as well get the father of Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahmet and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen out of the way, since when it comes to wacky song titles, he's up there with the best of them. So many to choose from, including What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?, Son Of Suzy Creamcheese, and, of course, Don't Eat The Yellow Snow. By comparison, My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama seems quite tame, but it's the one I went for.
5. Sandra's Wedding - The Hopeful Boy Replacement Service
As usual, we close with a contemporary tune. This one's from a band that the ever-reliable John Medd turned me onto earlier this year. Sandra's Wedding come from Goole, because somebody has to, and they've amassed quite the back catalogue of wry, witty, observational tunes that bring to mind Paul Heaton at his best. This one, the title track from their latest album, was irresistible, taking me right back to my teens. It's the sort of song Stephen Duffy might have written back in those glorious days of yore. Shades of Stuart Murdoch too.
David Crosby was, by all accounts, a grumpy old git. But we have no problem with that here at Top Ten Towers. Indeed, we embrace Grumpy Old Gittiness. The best word I could find to describe him online was "ornery", which seems like a fine word to have engraved on your tombstone. Who cares, when you make music as beautiful as this...?
Today's winner though is a delightful new discovery who will be getting further investigation from me. And that is why I do this feature. Take it away, John Craigie...
I don't know how I'm gonna find ya, babe it's hard for me
You're always 2, 000 miles from wherever I play
And you want some kids, maybe I want em too
Can we get ourselves a old one, maybe 22
Ain't got no college loans, ain't got no other debts too
He could smoke with me, he could drink with you
He could be my drummer, David Crosby does that
He didn't raise his neither, honey, how 'bout that?
Look, I'm on holiday and I can't think of any Cheryl Cole songs off the top of my head, so you'll have to make up your own puns today. Likewise I have no idea who won this week as I'm writing this on Thursday night. I'm sure whoever got up first did very well indeed. Thank you all for playing... unless nobody did this week, in which case: yah boo sucks.
Brief answers / explanations follow...
10. R.E.M. slows down and shouts like crazy.
REM is Rapid Eye Movement. Slow it down and it becomes SEM... add a shouted bellow.
Followed soon after by Lynchie, who went all weird on us...
Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39) Going to El Monte Legion Stadium Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine) Helps me stealing hub caps Wasted all the time
The
above are the opening lyrics to "Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague"
by The Mothers Of Invention. The vocals are stupendous, especially
Nelcy Walker's soprano voice backed by Ray Collins & Roy Estrada.
This track led me to purchase "Cruising with Ruben & the Jets" - an
earlier Mothers' album which has some of the best doo-wop songs ever
recorded.
Lynchie's second suggestion was a bit more down-to-earth... and surely a shoe-in for this week's winner as it comes from one of my favourite albums...
A friend of mine became a father last night When we spoke in his voice I could hear the light Of the skies and the rivers the timberwolf in the pines And that great jukebox out on Route 39
Then again, much as I love The Boss, it's only two weeks since he last claimed the top spot in this countdown. Would I really give it to him again?
Our Canadian correspondent, Douglas McLaren, was pretty sure I would...
Darn. Got beaten to the Boss, which I am guessing is the "shoe-in". Oh
well. Though Valentine's Day is (in my opinion) the better song,
Springsteen's "Stand On It" is a rollickin' great-balls-of-fire b-side
belter that also refers to Route 39.
Nope. Not this week, Douglas. What else have you got for me?
A few other offerings as outside chances. For starters, there is last
week's poster boys, UB40, with "Hold Your Position, Mk3". Not the
biggest UB40 fan, but that one sits in the record collection. Lyrics
mention "39 Acker Tree, Frontline"...not sure if that is an address or
what?
Hardly a desirable residence, by the sounds of it.
I feel I should mention Canada's Own Gordon Lightfoot again
this week, as his offering for "40" went down fighting. The song "Drink
Yer Glasses Empty". A typically Lightfoot song, semi-autobiographical I
suppose given that he was in fact born in 1938, but timeless
considering the world today:
Better drink yer glasses empty now It's time to rise and shine There's one less cause in the world To be leaving for It was back in 39 When I was one year old Sitting by the backyard fence And the world had turned so cold...
Another
one that actually sits in the collection since I picked up a vinyl copy
at a charity shop, but I am not actually all that fond of myself
(outside chance perhaps?) is World Party, "The Ballad of The Little
Man". The Latin Teacher in me appreciates the Classical allusion in the
lyrics, though:
He's an animal but he thinks he's God Gets him mixed up with him And we're all at the mercy Of this little man within He was doing fine in 39 Thank God he did not win He kept playing on his fiddle As he watched old Rome cave in...
Well, we crossed the state line about 6: 39 And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, fifty miles" Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day...
It
reminds me of my summer vacations as a kid. Every last one of them.
And at least by mentioning in now it pre-empts its obvious chances of
being a take-all winner in 12 weeks time when number 27 comes up.
Yeah, that's the winne... oh, no, sorry, it isn't. Nice try though.
Who else do we have? Ah, George...
Of course Spanish Bombs will not be featuring.........
Well, it will be featuring, George. It just won't be winning. Nothing against Mr. Strummer and co. I'm just not cool enough to worship them in quite the same way many other venerable bloggers do.
Spanish songs in Andalucia The shooting sites in the days of '39 Oh, please, leave the vendanna open Fredrico Lorca is dead and gone Bullet holes in the cemetery walls The black cars of the Guardia Civil Spanish bombs on the Costa Rica I'm flying in a DC 10 tonight
Next up was Rigid Digit, with three fine suggestions...
A beautiful ballad where Kelly shows that love songs don’t just have to be about the young ones…
That is pretty special. Thanks, Deano.
And you all for playing, as ever. Before we get onto this week's winner (as immidiately identified by Martin, and seconded by Deano), here's a few more offerings from my hard-drive...
Sippin' Shirley Thompson doesn't care She's 39 and feelin' fine and not much up to goin' anywhere Her husband is a bible salesman and at 39 his hair fell out She said there's not a hair between him and the heaven that he talks about
All good songs, but the songs from our teenage years often leave the biggest impression, don't they? And that's certainly the case with this tune from Queen's A Night At The Opera album, a favourite of mine was I was 15 (even though it was released 12 years earlier). I never had much of an idea what the song was about, I just thought it was a pretty tune and Brian does a good job on vocals. Iffypedia reveals the lyrics go back to Brian's days as an astrophysicist...
The song tells the tale of a group of space explorers who embark on what
is, from their perspective, a year-long voyage. Upon their return,
however, they realise that a hundred years have passed, because of the time dilation effect in Einstein's special theory of relativity, and the loved ones they left behind are now all dead or aged.
Charity Chic featured the debut album from Little Feat over at his place a few days ago and chose his two favourite tracks... which led both Lynchie and myself to ask: "What about Willin'!?"
Willin' is my favourite Little Feat song and it's the song I discovered them through. It's also the first Little Feat song ever written, and allegedly the track that got Lowell George fired from The Mothers of Invention, either because a) Frank Zappa thought it was such a good song that Lowell was wasted in his band and should form his own (Zappa did help Little Feat get a recording contract); or b) because of the drugs references which Zappa didn't approve of (really!?). There's another story about how George was fired from The Mothers for playing a 15 minute guitar solo with his amp off... you can take your pick, really.
In Charity Chic's defence though, the version of Willin' on the eponymous debut album isn't my favourite - I far prefer the re-recorded version which appeared on their second album, Sailin' Shoes. That's also the version on which George plays guitar himself, since on the original recording he'd hurt his hand playing with a model airplane (ROCK 'N' ROLL!!!) so Ry Cooder filled in.
Anyway, I'm bending the rules shoehorning either version of the track into my Talky Songs feature since only the first verse is really spoken... but I had to feature it somehow, and as Charity Chic points out, a bit of Little Feat is perfect for this rare UK summer...
The house Health & Safety officer (Louise) has been trying to impress upon Sam the dangers of electricity, hot water and fire. You know: don't turn light switches on when your fingers are wet. Don't touch the hot tap. Don't stick your fingers in plug sockets. Don't put a metal poker on a three bar electric fire to see what happens.*
*This last one isn't really aimed at Sam as we have neither a poker nor a three bar fire in our house. However, I grew up in a house with a coal fire and often mucked about with the poker, sometimes getting it red hot and using it to torture Star Wars figures. One time we went away on a holiday to a cottage where there was an old fireplace which had had a three bar electric fire placed in front of it... though for some reason they still had a poker next to it. For scientific purposes, I decided to see what would happen if I placed said metal poker on the coils of said electric fire.
The answer: sparks will fly.
Somehow I lived to tell the tale, although I did short out all the electricity in the holiday cottage.
Anyway, in reply to a recent piece of fire safety advice from Mum, Sam came out with an excellent response...
"Do y'know - Johnny Cash fell into a ring of fire, so you have to be careful...'
See? He already knows more than his dad!
However, I do feel vindicated. Because expanding Sam's musical knowledge also benefits other aspects of his life! What's next? Here's ten pieces of fatherly advice... specially for those of you who lament the days when every post on this blog was a Top Ten.
The music I hear more often than anything else at the moment is nursery rhymes. Sam is particularly fond of The Grand Old Duke of York (popular gay icon - after all, he had 10,000 men), The Muffin Man (do you know him?) and Pop! Goes The Weasel (as close as Sam gets to pop music right now). Because my head is full of little else - I even wake up in the night with them drilling their way into my dreams - here are ten songs inspired to some degree or other by traditional nursery rhymes of yore...
(Special mention, for those of you who remember the 80s, to Cock Robin... who sound better than I remembered, despite their unfortunate name.)
And this is why I thank the pop music gods I was born when I was. Because, yes, today's teenagers may pride themselves on their love of the "classics" from the 60s, 70s or 80s... but how many of them will ever even hear this choice cut from Ray Parker Jr.'s original band? You could trawl youtube for decades and never stumble across this gem: cheesy 70s soul at its finest.
OK, so the old English nursery rhyme "Boys and girls come out to play" probably wasn't much of an influence on The Offspring. Sue me; I wanted to hear this again.
Stretching the theme a little, though this is the only song I can think of to mention Nursery Rhymes in the title. One of Terry Hall's less successful recording ensembles, yet just as wonderful as anything else he's ever lent his vocal talents to. Ha, happier times, ba, ba, better days.
I'd be prepared to hear an argument for this being at Number One, considering it not only involves the titular pepper-picker but also Jack 'n' Jill, Jack B. Nimble, Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs and many other childhood favourites. They even throw in a reference to Weebles: "the turntables might wobble, but they don't fall down".
I wasn't familiar with the nursery rhyme "A-tisket, A-tasket, A green and yellow basket" as a child. I only discovered it through the epic, melancholic melodrama of the Shangri-Las, a band with a truly unique sound. If you're only familiar with Leader of the Pack, give this a spin... I doubt you'll ever have heard anything walk the tightrope between aching beauty and high camp hysteria quite so bewitchingly.
1. The Bluetones - Solomon Bites The Worm
One of the Bluetones' best, wherein a mightily chunky guitar riff supports a playful retelling of the story of Solomon Grundy, bundled up with a joyful "grab life while you can" message because "you've only got 7 days". Which only goes to demonstrate that Mark Morris and chums were always a far more interesting Britpop prospect than the Blunder Brothers of Oasis. (BTW, Britpop is 20 years old this year. What does that make us?)
So, those were the nursery rhymes Sam can investigate when he's a little older... and I managed to avoid all mention of Mary Had A Little Lamb by Wings.You owe me for that.
How can you not want to listen to a band called The Bastard Fairies? Especially when they sound like Amanda Palmer backed by the Eels? Get out while you still can!
Last I checked, this was even available for free download from their website.
Lou takes a serious shot at his hometown. Amazing storytelling.
Give me your hungry, your tired, your poor I'll piss on 'em
That's what the Statue of Bigotry says
Your poor huddled masses
Let's club 'em to death
And get it over with and just dump 'em on the boulevard
Written by Jim Steinman, like all the best Bonnie Tyler songs. You could probably guess that from the length of the title and the inclusion of orchestra, 12 sticks of dynamite and kitchen sink in the score.The video is also a work of demented 80s genius... featuring Hywel Bennett in the Todd Rundgren role.
There were times when we fought like tigers
There were times we were damn good liars
There were times we extinguished every
That was burning, burning, burning up each other alive
From the heavens on down to the dives
There were times we lost it all we lost it all
There were times we lost it all we lost it all
1. Steely Dan - Dirty Work
I've been listening to this a lot lately since its appearance in my Film of 2014 (so far... but then, I have only seen two), American Hustle. However, over the last few months I've also been listening to a helluva lot more Steely Dan than I ever have before. I am officially middle-aged. (I reach The Meaning of Life, The Universe & Everything this week, folks!)
So I am now at the stage in my life where I'd rather listen to a 42 year-old Steely Dan song (this, from their debut album, is as old as I am) than anything Radio 1 would ever play. These Top Tens used to contain a lot more Cool Young Indie Music and a lot less Sad Old Muso Music. I always dreaded this day... but you know what? It ain't that bad...
