Time to put your feet up and enjoy another Friday morning coffee break, starting with one of the many, many bands called The Outsiders that popped up in Namesakes a few weeks back...
I do like my coffee hot. So hot, in fact, that I regularly burn the roof of my mouth. Which can't be good for me. The perfect cup of coffee should be just hot enough to not do that. But no cooler.
Benjamin Sherman Crothers began his musical career as a teenager in the 1930s. He took the name Scatman in reference to his improvisational singing style. Whenever I think of scat singing, I hear Louis Prima singing I Wanna Be Like You, from one of the first albums I ever owned (on cassette), the soundtrack of The Jungle Book. Scatman Crothers wasn't in The Jungle Book, but he did voice another famous cartoon character...
Do you know they only ever made one series of Hong Kong Phooey?
You don't say.
I find that impossible to believe, since it seemed to be on TV constantly when I was a kid.
You don't say.
I guess the karate craze didn't last long enough to support a second season.
You don't say.
(What did he say?
He didn't say.)
Scatman was also the voice of Scat Cat in the Aristocrats...
...and, later, Jazz The Autobot in The Transformers cartoon.
However, the role for which he'll forever be remembered is Dick Hallorann...
It can't have escaped your notice that Doctor Who celebrated its 60th anniversary last week, blasting its way back onto screen with an old face and a Disney+ budget. Like most British kids, I grew up with The Doctor, and your first Doctor will always be your favourite. Which means you can't beat Tom Baker in my eyes.
Still, I have a great fondness for most of the other Doctors, including the modern incarnations (although Huddersfield lass Jodie Whittaker was let down during her tenure by terrible scripts). They say we spent large parts of our youth hiding behind the sofa to avoid the show's scarier bits... and I do have vivid memories of being behind that old red leather sofa in our living room on a Saturday night... but I'm pretty sure I was acting out the adventures I'd just seen on screen rather than escaping in terror.
Here then is a special edition of TV On The Radio dedicated to all the Doctors.
Search for songs that include the words "Doctor Who" in that order and you're on a hiding to nothing. Unless you want to hear a load of tunes that have nothing to do with Timelords such as this...
She sent me to the doctor who sent me straight to bed
I had far more luck searching for words that were unique to the Whoniverse. Such as TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space, as I'm sure you will recall).
Here's someone who would look right at home in an episode of Doctor Who... Thom Yorke.
I'm stuck in the TARDIS Trapped in hyperspace One minute, snake charming The next in a motorcade
Step outside the TARDIS and you may encounter some of The Doctor's greatest enemies. For reasons explained above, I didn't bother looking for The Master, and only found the odd song that mentioned Cybermen... but the Daleks were all over the place.
Dave Balfe and Alan Gill from The Teardrop Explodes formed the most famous band to be named after the psychotic pepper pots, possibly my favourite science fiction bad guys (the Daleks, not Balfe and Gill).
Despite my difficulties in searching for "Doctor Who" songs, I still found quite a few that mentioned the Timelord by name (or, not actually by name, since Doctor Who isn't actually his name, is it?). Although many of them fall into the category that causes serious musos to gnash their teeth to the gums... comedy or novelty records.
Frazer Hines was a minor Yorkshire celebrity due to his role on Emmerdale Farm in the 70s and 80s (back when my dad used to watch it because they had actual farmyard scenes). Prior to that, Frazer was an early Doctor Who assistant when he recorded this...
Once All About Eve were done, lead singer Julianne Regan formed Mice. Here's a little timely advice for any of you who might be considering running off with a stranger in a blue police box...
He's my blue sonic boy I believed in his watery lies And his half-arsed scheme to rule the world But you know it isn't easy hanging out with the timelords When you're a Dalek and can't even climb up the stairs So when you wake tomorrow, stick a bell in your van
There were lots of artists I discovered during this search who looked like they'd only ever get a gig at Comicon, but these guys deserved a special mention, for enthusiasm, if nothing else...
But there was only one song I could choose to close this post, from the insane genius of Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, The KLF, The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu and The Timelords... with a little help from The Sweet and (whisper it now) Gary Glitter. A Number One smash that Melody Maker described as "pure, unadulterated agony" and "excruciating", while Sounds called it "rancid" and "a record so noxious that a top ten place can be its only destiny". What's not to love?
"Hmm, Betty, the doggy’s done a whoopsie on the floor.”
Frank Spencer never actually uttered this line in the popular 70s sitcom, but thanks to Mike Yardwood, the rest of the country started doing Michael Crawford impressions and the line became a legend. And if that wasn't bad enough...
I remember watching Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em when I was a kid and generally finding it annoying in the same way that I would find Adam Sandler's man-child act intensely irritating 20 years later. It never fails to amaze me that Crawford would go on to become a West End legend as The Phantom of the Opera. Quite a leap up from Frank.
Let's kick off our Frank tribute, appropriately enough, in Mu Mu Land...
Today's winner though is a song about thinking that the singer onstage is looking straight at you (and maybe you've got a chance with them!) when actually they can't see the crowd's faces at all because of the stage lights. Which is just the kind of idiotic thing that Frank Spencer would probably do...
One look sends it coursin' through the veins, oh, how the feelin' races
Back up to their brains to form expressions on their stupid faces
They don't want to say hello like I want to say hello
Well, the heartbeat's at its peak when you're coming up to speak
And oh, I'm so tense, never tenser, could all go a bit Frank Spencer
And I'm talkin' gibberish, tip of the tongue but I can't deliver it
Properly, oh, it's all gettin' on top of me
And if it weren't this dark, you'd see how red my face has gone, yeah
"TV theme from the late 60s series about three 'swinging chicks' sharing a groovy pad in London."
I'm too young to remember that, but I bet it was groovy.
OK, deep breath everybody... here comes The Swede!
(I should add that I have edited The Swede's list this week, but only to remove the Christmas songs, because we're about as far away from Christmas as it is possible to get.)
More of an instrumental break, really, but I do love the album this comes from. I am not going to allow you The Stand Ins, Two & One over the next two weeks though.
You might not expect it of me, but I always loved the KLF. While most other dance music in the late 80s / early 90s made me want to put my head in the oven, Bill Drummond always made me smile.
I'll go for anything off Squeeze's Packet of 3 EP, though 'Cat on a Wall' would be my lead track. Doesn't count, you say? Breaking some sort of code violation? Can't you invoke a Mornington Crescent style override? Go on, you know you want to!
With only two weeks (three if I can be bothered with a zero postscript - the jury's still out) left, I'm feeling charitable.
By the way, if anyone wants to know what my hair looks like in Week 732 of Lockdown, I suggest you take a look at Tony Orlando in that video. I keep my chest hair under wraps though.
I also think that video was shot in Greenhead Park in Huddersfield.
All of which brings us to Douglas, who's still smarting that I compared one of his suggestions last time to his less than distinguished countrymen, Nickelback...
I will start by facetiously suggesting for your consideration a trinity of provocative suggestions that are designed to get revenge for your Nickelback allusion of last week, which on behalf of all Canadians I express offence taken at (but you knew that was coming because you were already ducking):
U2 - The Three Sunrises (who of course also have an album entitled "Three", don't they? Sure to get them extra points...)
Looked all over for that one, but couldn't find a link anywhere. It wasn't in my garbage disposal unit or the u-bend on my toilet, which seemed the most obvious places to look.
That, on the other hand, I had to look for, just to confirm my worst fears. On the positive side, the clip I found was less than a minute long and sing sang for almost half that time.
(I should clarify at this point that I don't hate Sting in the same way as I hate Bonio and The Hedge. I liked many Police songs and even the occasional sing solo tune - I featured my favourite in this week's Saturday Snapshots. Despite that, he's too easy a target for mockery.)
Oh, and in case you were wondering, here's another clip that's less than a minute long...
Phil Collins - Three Brothers(from Disney's Brother Bear soundtrack, no less, though sadly Phil does not actually sing on this one)
I'm sure many people will take issue with your use of the word 'sadly' there, Douglas... but anyway, onto your proper suggestions. Now you've had your revenge...
Now that I have got that off my chest,with greater seriousness, I would offer you a few better selections from what my hard drive pulled up in the following:
For those who do not know this last band, but may be fans of the late Lucksmiths, check them out. They are three of the four original band in Marty Donald, Mark Monnone and Louis Richter but with Noah Symons newly added on the drums. They have a more lo-fi chaotic sound than the polished harmonies of the Lucksmiths, but much of the same sophisticated and wry lyrics. Interesting.
You all realise at this point that I need to invite Douglas to contribute a Guest Post Thursday sometime soon, don't you? (Not just to stop him adding to my workload on the Hot 100, because, let's face it, there's only a couple of weeks of that remaining.)
Then, of course, the Canadian in me, still smarting from the mention of Chad Kroeger, would like to represent our country a lot more palatably with the consideration of:
(And while I'm cross-promoting, you should have been here a couple of Saturdays ago, Douglas, when it took everyone a bloody long time to guess The Tragically Hip on Saturday Snapshots... even with my hilarious 'dem bones; clue.)
And if you insist on the labelling Canada with the alt-rock/alt-metal brush, we have a band called Three Days Grace you should check out. Perhaps the following, which has garnered 264 million views on Youtube, would adequately express your thoughts on the genre:
You know what, I quite liked that. Although a little bit of research revealed that their current lead singer was in another band previously who were discovered and signed by Chad Kroeger. Small world, eh?
...And just to let you know that you are doing a good service to promote great music, a couple of weeks ago, Brian suggested the song "7 Compton Street" by a group I confess to never having heard of before, Me and Dean Martin. Your comment that they sounded a lot like the Smiths intrigued me and I gave the link a listen, and rather liked the track a goodly bit, leading me to check out whatever other selections were on Youtube, and eventually ordering a copy of the album "Let's Romanticise Our Youth". The shiny piece of vinyl arrived in the mail today, and it is turning on the table as I write. Very enjoyable. So in honour of the service you are doing, I propose that the band gets a second chance at stardom, from the same LP:
And they still sound like The Smiths. But thanks again to Brian. Speaking of whom...
Thanks for taking the time to type that, Douglas. This makes my day. Some stellar threes on this list. I especially wish I had been the first to suggest Wire, Orange Juice, Ian Dury and the Selecter. My winner, as suggested by Adam, would be Television Personalities with Three Wishes. Here are a few more I like...
Are ordinal numbers a rule breaker?(If they were, a third of the songs on this list would be gone.) If not, Ramones should take this thing with 53rd and 3rd.
Sadly though, that does fall foul of The Tom Robinson Rule, which we've done pretty well to avoid breaking this far this week.
OK, that's almost it for your suggestions this week. Here's a selection from my own hard-drive not mentioned above. We'll start with a very strong contender...
Finally, I'd just like to point of that the Tom Robinson Rule has prevented this from taking the trophy both this week and next. Damn that Tom Robinson Rule!
And for that, we have to go back to Martin, who began his suggestions this week thus:
I like how you teased De La Soul in your closing line, Rol, but that's just called "The Magic Number", isn't it, so I can't pitch that one.
What Martin appears to have forgotten, however, is this...
Which is a more direct cover of the original song (that De La Soul adapted), by Bob Dorough (also suggested by The Swede), which was originally written for an educational TV show called Schoolhouse Rock...
And so this week, we have not one winner... but three. Which seems rather appropriate.
Don't Ask Me Why Saturday Snapshots has become the most clicked-on post on this blog. Probably because there's much less of me wittering on than on all the other posts and far more top tunes.
This week there was a photo-finish between Lynchie & Rigid Digit, both on 3 points, both typing the words "Joe Walsh" at 8:58 on the dot, but RD took the crown by a nose. Nailbiting stuff, though Charity Chic had to drop by and identify the song in question later.
Anyway, here are this week's answers... Would I Lie To You?
