Snapshots #395: Hot & Cold Songs

The temperature's been zooming up and down so much lately that it robbed half of Spain and Portugal of electricity... and we hate to think of our Portuguese correspondent without the necessary means to read this blog.

Here are some hot songs and some cold ones... let's see if we can arrive at a happy medium before summer.

15. A can of #3.

#3 is Big Joe Turner, a tin a'...

Tina Turner - Steamy Windows

14. Billy's sad sea or Frank's mucky pond?

Two Oceans, both blue in their own way...

The Ocean Blue - Frigid Winter Days

13. Typical!

The Normal - Warm Leatherette

12. Eccles, in a hurry.

Jennifer Eccles, in a bit of a Rush.

Jennifer Rush - Ring Of Ice

11. Freeman's crane.

A derrick is a crane, for Morgan Freeman...

Derrick Morgan - Blazing Fire

10. It's in the air tonight, Einstein!

Little known fact: Phil Collins wrote In The Air Tonight, 'specially for Albert Einstein.

Albert Collins - Frosty

9. Hell's Bile III: This time it's perplexed.

Hell's Bile III was a perplexing anagram.

Billie Eilish - OverHeated

8. Church, Hatherley, Bronte.

The Charlottes - Cold

7. The man in the gabardine suit was a spy.

That's a lyric from America by S&G.

America - Molten Love

6. Filthy weasel.

Blue Mink - Melting Pot

5. Spasmodic fools. 

The Jerks - Cool

4. Mottled church.

A roan is a mottled horse...

Chappell Roan - Hot To Go

3. Large coffee for #15!

Cup of Joe for Tina...

Big Joe Turner - The Chill Is On

2. Book that will increase in value, thanks to a saxophone in the key of G... and 80s bin man.  

Kenny G played sax... Ted Rogers had a Dusty Bin...

Kenny Rogers & The First Edition - Something's Burning

1. Morally pure and chaste.

Or not, as the case may be.

Madonna - Frozen

The heat is back on next Saturday... cool!

Snapshots #378: A Top Ten Wizard of Oz Songs

This week's Snapshots take us on a journey somewhere over the rainbow...

Here are ten Wicked tunes...

10. Cathedral Saint moves to firm fortress.

St. Paul's becomes a Hard Castle.

Paul Hardcastle - The Wizard

9. Where the kids make pie.

Kids In America make American Pie...

America - Tin Man

8. Dylan.

Bob - Scarecrow

7. Cut me some slack!

Tight Fit - The Lion Sleeps Tonight

I wonder if he can still hit those high notes?

6. Mouse & Miles.

Mickey Mouse & Miles Jupp.

Mickey Jupp - No Place Like Home

5. They need a Kermit to perform.

Frog - Judy Garland

4. Make a sound like Kele's party.

When you make a sound, you emit noise. Kele's Party was on the Block.

Emit Bloch - Dorothy

3. Cut up, skin and blister.    

Skin & blister is Cockney rhyming slang for sister. Apparently.

Scissor Sisters - Return To Oz

2. It's a wonder if you know her...

It'd be a Wonder if gentlemen - and ladies! - of a certain age didn't recognise this Woman.

Lynda Carter - Toto (Don't It Feel Like Paradise)

1. HR twigged his real name.

"HR twigged" was an anagram of Reg Dwight...

Elton John - Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

If you only had a brain, you'd join me back here next Saturday.

Snapshots #336: A 1960s Year By Year Top Ten

I missed out on the 1960s by just two years. Sometimes I wish I'd been there for the fun.

All I have to console me are songs about the 60s... here are ten, in chronological order...

10. Florentine explorer.

That would be Amerigo Vespucci, the man who gave his name to a continent...

America - 1960

9. Bentos.

George's favourite pie - Fray Bentos!

The Fray - 1961

8. Super, Green, Whispering... must go on.

Supergrass, Green Grass, Whispering Grass... The Show Must Go On.

Grass Show - 1962

7. Hitler's plan for Europe.

Neuordnung.

New Order - 1963

6. Found confused in the naked aisle.

"Naked aisle" was an anagram.

Neil Sedaka - The Queen Of 1964

5. Big Hearted Fish.

Heart sang a song about a big fish...

The Barracudas - (I Wish It Could Be) 1965 Again

4. Jamie Dodger

Jamie Dodger follows in the fine tradition of Gary Baldy and Peter Cookie...

Half Man Half Biscuit - 1966 And All That

3. French writers.

The French for author is auteur...

The Auteurs - 1967

2. In a tizzy, Joe canoodles Vader. 

"Joe canoodles Vader" was another anagram...

Alejandro Escovedo - 1968

Maybe I should have gone with the original, by Chris Gaffney... but I figured you'd have more chance of identifying Alejandro. (I know I would!)

1. Howard, Howard and Fine.

Larry Fine, Curly Howard and Moe Howard were the Three Stooges.

The Stooges - 1969

Back to the present day with more Snapshots next Saturday.

Snapshots #262: A Top Ten Horse Songs

This is Richard Harris: A Man Called Horse. Yesterday, we had Robert Redford: The Horse Whisperer.

Why the long face?

Here are ten songs featuring horses...

10. Danny spent 127 Hours on a Lazy Turntable.

A Lazy Susan combined with Danny Boyle, who directed 127 Hours.

Susan Boyle - Wild Horses

Of course, we'd all have preferred the Stones version... or even The Sundays... but how else was I going to shoe-horn Susan Boyle into this quiz?

9. "Open", says my old neighbour Dave Smith, initially. 

"Open", Says My Old Neighbour Dave Smith.

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses

8. Excitedly came between The Seekers.

The - Thrill - Seekers?

The Thrills - One Horse Town

7. Eros, Phobos or Deimos, perhaps.

They were all the children of Aphrodite,

Aphrodite's Child - The Four Horsemen

6. Who works in de office?

De Clerk, of course!

Dee Clarke - Ride A Wild Horse

5. Managed by McLaren?

Not Malcolm...

The Racing Cars - They Shoot Horse, Don't They?

4. Replaces the black & white TV.

Colourbox - Looks Like We're Shy One Horse

3. Heavy weight stops the car for abbreviated Price.

Katie Price's car stalls because it weighs a tonne. (Make up your own punchline.)

KT Tunstall - Black Horse & Cherry Tree

2. The Beautiful North.

North America, The Beautiful...

America - A Horse With No Name

1. Hyena munched bonnet.

Anagram!

Echo & The Bunnymen - Bring On The Dancing Horses

You, and the horse you rode in on, are welcome back for more Snapshots next Saturday...

My Top Ten Submarine Songs

...but not that one, because I find it rather annoying.


10. The Supernaturals - Submarine Song

A Scottish submarine heads north...

9. Al Stewart - Life In Dark Water

The most literal submarine song on the list.

Oh come away from the day, here I stay

Living on the bottom of the sea

Down metal snake corridors steely grey

Engines hum for nobody but me

No sound comes from the sea above me

No messages crackles through the radio leads

They'll never know, never no never

How strange life in dark water can be

8. America - Submarine Ladies

On the other hand, I have no idea why this is called Submarine Ladies (I really don't think it's innuendo), but it's a cool song.

7. Black Grape - Submarine

No idea what this has got to do with submarines either, but Shaun Ryder is barking so that's all you need to know.

6. Ben Folds - Zak & Sara

Say what you like about Ben Folds, but dude can play the piano.

Zak called his dad about layaway plans

And Sara told the friendly salesman that:

"You'll all die in your cars,

And why's it gotta be dark?

And you're all working in a submarine."

5. Scott Walker - Plastic Palace People

Still missing him.

Over the rooftops burns Billy Balloon,

Sadly, the string descends

Searching its way down through blue submarine air

The polka dot underwear

To meet the trees, in morning square

Just hanging there, just hanging there

4. Hazel O'Connor - 8th Day

And on the 5th Day, God made the beasts and the submarines.

3. Fountains Of Ray - Sink To The Bottom

Doesn't actually mention a submarine, but does what submarines do.

2. The Lightning Seeds - Marvellous

Whereas this does exactly what it says on the tin. It's Marvellous!

You used to know but now you've forgotten

A submarine got stuck to the bottom

These are the days so wake up

Cause this is the time

And you know I'm right!

1. Billy Bragg - Sexuality

A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of Sweden... but even if you're gay, Billy won't turn you away. Randy devil.


Those were my favourites, though I could have sunk another ten. Any submarines on your shelves?