You don't bring me flowers anymore... the least you could do is bring me the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots. No need to feel Guilty if you didn't get them all right...
Martin was this week's winner, though he needed help with some of the answers from C, FurryBoots and Chris. Charity Chic gets extra points for the detective work involved in cracking #10.
10. Three step Eddie takes an E with a boy cat on the road to death.
Some time ago (well, 2+ years... my, how time flies) when I unveiled My Top Ten Carpentry Songs I fully intended to follow it up with songs devoted to other popular trades. Finally, I decided to have a go at electricians - but I wanted to avoid all the obvious Electric songs (Dreams / Friends / Avenue / Ladyland / Spanking of War Babies etc.) because they'll fit into their own post one day. So here, instead, are ten songs specifically about electricians... or about the things they deal with on a daily basis.
Special mention to Cliff Richard - Wired For Sound which is as close to a guilty pleasure as I get (considering how broad and cheesy these lists do sometimes go). I tried to find room for Sir Cliff here, but in the end I had to admit that it's a song more about speakers (tall ones and small ones - Cliff has no time for midi). The rollerskating video is always worth a look though...
Further special mentions to Elvis and George Harrison, both of whom (according to t'internet) started out as apprentice electricians before more successful careers beckoned...
Perhaps I should have gone with Gary Numan's original version, but I was always a huge fan of Bob Palmer's voice and I consider it a tragedy that he died as young as he did because I bet he could have gone on and on... as Numan himself has done.
Anyway, I Dream Of Wires is one of the few songs I know that actually mentions an electrician in its lyrics, though it actually tells of a completely "wireless" future wherein the "last electrician alive" looks back fondly on a world that was a little less alien...
We opened doors by thinking We went to sleep by dialing 'o' We drove to work by proxy I plugged my wife in, just for show
New ways, new ways I dream of wires
So I press 'c' for comfort I dream of wires, the old days
Other songs to mention electricians directly include Better Things by Massive Attack & Tracy Thorn (You say the magic's gone / Well, I'm not a magician / You say the spark's gone / Well get an electrician), Demystification by Zounds (My electronic shaver won't plug into the wall /
Now I can't go to the party, the electrician didn't call) and Nick Cave's amazing Babe, I'm On Fire. Oh, and this...
An artist whose solo work I only discovered quite recently, though he's been knocking around for years, working with the likes of PJ Harvey, Eels and Sparklehorse. KCE sounds like classic American alt-rock, so I was surprised to find out that Parish is actually from the UK (Yeovil), though I guess his lyrical slang ("nowt", "that bloke") should have given him away. A great song: made me go out and buy the album.
I have a curious relationship with Muse. I liked their early material very much and even went to see them playing live when they were just starting out (at The Leadmill, I think). Matt Bellamy spent most of the show with his back to the audience... and I never really recovered from that. (Believe it or not, I much preferred the support act. They were called Cold something. Cold...play? No idea what happened to them.)
A very emotive song, more so when you know that it's about the premature birth of lead Athlete Joel Pott's daughter and the life support system that kept her going.
I haven't made up my mind yet, but Slaves are definite contenders for the best new band of 2015. They've got the snotty punk appeal of early Supergrass, but a little more to say for themselves lyrically. They're just two lads from Kent (Laurie Vincent on guitar / bass and Isaac Holman on drums: they both sing) but they make a hell of a satisfying racket.
On first listen, the Sockets they sing about here appear to be the ones in your head rather than the ones an electrician would fix. The video suggests otherwise...
The Barenaked Ladies are a clever band - sometimes a little too clever - but this is the closest they ever got to capturing my heart as well as tickling my funny bone. Here, a whole town is infected with electricity thanks to a nearby Hydrofield (what the Canadians call a bunch of pylons, basically), making every resident into an amateur electrician.
I can put a spare bulb in my hand And light up my yard...
1. Glen Campbell - Wichita Lineman
Longtime readers of my ramblings may have seen this one coming: but I'll be honest with you, when I started planning this post I hadn't even considered that a lineman was an electrician. Once I'd made the connection, it had to be Number One, for the sheer fact that it is the greatest song ever written (Jimmy Webb Is God) and, though there are many fine versions in existence, no one will ever top Glen's haunting and heartbreaking delivery. I could go on and on about what makes it so special (the way that the melody and the lyrics merge together to create a seamless jewel; the yearning romanticism and evocative imagery; "And I need you more than want you / And I want your for all time") but I've probably said it all elsewhere. Simply put, there is no finer recording and if I could make it Number One every week, I would.
Which one would you get to wire your house (for sound)?
Jessie's like a hurricane... but Craig might not be the one to save her from herself.
I know you're gonna say what I know you're gonna say
I know you'll look at the ground, I know you'll probably cry
You're a beautiful girl and you're a pretty good waitress
But Jessie, I don't think I'm the guy
Gaslight Anthem mainman Brian Fallon's side-project, this was the Horrible Crowes' debut single, and it may well be the best thing they've done. From an album called Elsie, so extra points for that.
Here comes the story of the Hurricane The man the authorities came to blame For something that he never done Put in a prison cell but one time he could-a been The champion of the world.
At 8 minutes 36 in length, Bob beats our Number One today by just 13 seconds. It's a wonderfully noirish, novelistic piece of storytelling... yet not quite strong enough to knock this one off the top spot...
1. Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Like A Hurricane
The trick of making an epic 8 minute plus rock song is to make it still seem too short.
It was this or Scarborough Fair. And much as I love both Scarborough and Simon & Garfunkel, there's something about Scarborough Fair that represents folk music at its most twee. Call me a philistine, but I'd rather have lyrics that sing, "Behave yourself grandad, or you won’t be going..." than, "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme". Maybe when I compile my Top Ten Herb Songs...
See also Mussels of Margate, written by Kurt Weill. Seriously, you can't make stuff like that up.
The lead singer of American Music Club probably isn't the first person you'd expect to hear singing a song about Southend... maybe that's why it works so well. Told from the perspective of "just another ugly American melting in the heat"...
You said to me "You're from California And you're as dumb as can be" You said to me "Are you the Scarecrow, the Tin Man Or are you Dorothy?" You said to me "I'm beginning to think that you're A part of the enemy" You said to me "If I was drowning would you save me From Southend-on-Sea?"
OK, so Dungeness isn't strictly a seaside town, it's a headland with a beach, a nuclear power plant and Derek Jarman's cottage on it. But let's pretend it's a big holiday destination, shall we? This song is quite, quite lovely.
Gets many extra marks for mentioning Filey, because Filey is ace.
Maybe she could tell her I’ve still got her umbrella She prized it rather highly It saved her once in Filey It came on all torrential And therefore it’s essential
The band Luxembourg also had a song called Broadstairs but the internet hasn't ever heard of it.
To quote my old music blogging hero, JC, The Vinyl Villain, "the b-side (to Geraldine) is a rather lovely romantic song about one of the least romantic coastal towns on Planet Earth." I've never been to Saltcoats so I'll have to bow to his native knowledge.
My favourite seaside town (I may even be there as you read this); I can think of at least two people who read this blog who would probably have made this Number One. And who knows, they may well be right.
Why do political parties always hold their conferences in seaside towns? Is it just so the waster politicians can ride the donkeys wearing Kiss Me Quick hats? A scathing attack on the Liberal Party (SDP) of the late 80s, this is "somewhat" dated now, but it still sounds wonderful. And there's no mention of Nick Clegg, which is always a bonus.
They wore enamel badges of David Steel on their sleeves And "nuclear power no thanks", "Not sure" and "yes please!" And their faces were two fold And their teeth they were gold And they wore their pinstripe suits With a rip at the knee
I'm out tonight and can't decide Between Soviet hip or British pride
Songs about badgers, marrying Anita Dobson, that hair... Bryan May's crimes against cool are considerable. But it's possible to forgive him everything just by listening to the guitar solo on Brighton Rock, one of the best songs he ever wrote. Plus, Freddie sings a duet with himself, taking on both male and female vocals. The tale of a doomed holiday romance and the mums and wives who ruin it.
"Jenny will you stay? Tarry with me, pray Nothing e'er need come between us Tell me love what do you say?" "Oh no I must away, to my mum in disarray If my mother should discover how I spent my holiday It would be of small avail to talk of magic in the air I'll say farewell..."
Other Brighton belters include Upside Down On Brighton Beach by Shirley Lee and You're Not From Brighton by local lad Norman 'Fatboy Slim' Cook. See also New Brighton Promenade by The Boo Radleys, though I suspect that'll be the New Brighton in Merseyside.
So... those are my favourite Seaside Town Songs... where will you be wearing a knotted hanky on your head this summer?
Much is being written about the precariously uncertain fate of HMV, and while I'm not the regular customer I once was (partly due to other outlets, partly due to the lack of choice and other issues I have with our only remaining high street music chain) I would be sorry to see it go. Why, I was in there only the other day (before the news was announced), buying the Jake Bugg CD.
Anyway, in tribute, here's ten songs about shops and shopping...
As I flit from shop window to window
I'm trying to pick up a friendly bargain
But it's not like the adverts all make out
And there's no one to greet you as a friend
Of course, supermarkets will never replace record shops, caring only about the pile-it-high-sell-it-cheap Top 40 and their bottom line. They have as much interest in music as I have in over 60s naked sky-diving.Still, if HMV does go under, perhaps the independent record shops will strike back...?
Now, Moz, that's hardly helpful, is it? Even if the owners of Nipper the Dog are one of the many record companies you've fallen foul of over the years.
As a young man, I used to shop around... just as Smokey suggests. Long, pleasurable Saturday afternoons spent wandering around Leeds, popping into all the record shops (and comic shops!), both chain and indie, looking for a bargain. I imagine a similar afternoon would be finished much more quickly these days...
I've always loved this song, but watching the video makes me love it all the more.
1. The Freshies - I'm In Love With A Girl On The Manchester Virgin Megastore's Checkout Desk
Well, it was the only record I could think of about big chain record shops... even if it does namedrop HMV's former rival.
RIP, Frank Sidebottom.
Those were my shopping songs... which one is your must-buy?
