I think I beat you on a couple of these this week: at least identifying the song, anyway. Which is good, because I don't like them to be too easy. That said, the clues in question were particularly obscure. And on one, I didn't give you enough info...
10. This reluctant replacement is more suited to a crown than a flat cap...
7. Don't pay the ferryman: being seen coming out of one of their gigs takes the biscuit.
Damn it: I edited the original clue down and dropped the bit that referred to the actual song so both clues only refer to the band. In which case, you all get 10 bonus points for my stupidity.
The clue originally began: Please believe that it's true...
(Second mistake in two weeks. Must try harder in future.)
Yes, Charon was Ferryman of the river Styx into Hades. A coin was placed in your dead mouth to pay him.
1. In pop's parallel universe...they were desperately seeking a home.
Mark 'E' Everett's dad, Hugh Everett II, was the American physicist who came up with the notion of parallel universes, the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics.
Desperately Seeking Susan, of course.
A combined effort from C & The Swede: teamwork pays off.
(Special mention to Bowling For Soup, the only band to ever read one of my blog posts and tweet a reply about it. Pity they never wrote a bowling song.)
More Glaswegian heartbreak from Tracyanne and the gang...
Anyway, I got myself some bowling shoes An' they are all that I can see With all my might I scored a strike My friend you wouldn't believe My teenage years were wasted all on me
Musically, this wouldn't be out of place on The Big Lebowski soundtrack.
Lyrically: it is devastating.
Put that camera away Take no pictures of the ruins of our life That died without a fight and oh We're doing everything just right Except for touching and for holding and consoling Let's go bowling
Originally recorded by The Clovers in 1957, Elvis brought a desperate energy to it that lifts it above much of the soundtrack fodder he was recording at the time. I love the anoraky detail you can find on iffypedia about old Elvis songs: "Presley recorded it between 4 and 7 AM in the early morning of May 26, 1966 at the May 25—28 studio sessions for RCA at the RCA Studio B in Nashville, Tennessee". Did this guy ever sleep?
Janie, Janie, Janie, Janie, Jane Jane Down in the alley, just you and me We're going bowlin' till half past three Just rockin' and reelin', we'll get that feelin' Down in the alley, oh baby gee
1. Camper Van Beethoven - Take The Skinheads Bowling
Of course, there could only be one Number One on this chart. The Manics do a pretty faithful cover too. From the album Telephone Free Landslide Victory. Mark E. Smith would be proud.
Maybe it's a metaphor for racism, maybe it's just nonsense. Either way, it scores 300.
I always hated New Year's Eve when I was younger. It seemed one of those nights of the year expressly designed to highlight your loneliness and make you realise how all your dreams were still unaccomplished. I spent all of my teenage New Year's Eves alone in my bedroom, and most of my twenties alone in a radio studio, having volunteered to work the night no one else wanted to. Now that I'm a father, I'll be celebrating New Year's Eve as I have for the last three years... in bed by 10, hoping not to get woken up by the fireworks.
Still, if you are going out singing Auld Lang Syne on New Year's Eve, here's ten songs to take with you. I called it Volume 1 because there's plenty more where these came from. If we're all still here next year, maybe I'll throw together a Volume 2...
Another song from the recently mentioned Oklahoma! Particularly apt...
It's been such a bad year Put it behind us now It's a New Year This year will be a better year It seems we just get over one thing And then get knocked down by another Round and round my head they fly And what are the chances Of us both getting through this...?
Tell me, First Aid Kit... did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Now I have a lot to learn and I'm starting tonight, Got to stop looking at things like they're black and they're white. Got to write more songs of a little more, treat my friends better. Got to stop worrying about everything to the letter.
A few resolutions the world could take heed of there...
Most people though, celebrate New Year like Kid Rock.
I’ll quit smokin’, I’ll quit eatin’ I’m not jokin’, I’ll quit cheatin’ I’ll quit cursin’, I’ll quit drinkin’ I’ll be a better person, but tonight I’m thinkin’
Let’s get shit faced, let’s get shit faced Let’s get into trouble, let’s get outta this place And I’ll have faith in the coast that you clear Say you love me, Happy New Year...
If I ever did throw a New Year's party, this is the band I'd book to perform.
I can't think of any other song that captures the ramshackle chaos of a New Year's party where everyone's had too much to drink and anything could happen.
Nick and Socorro broke up And Candice wouldn't shut up Fin he recorded the whole thing Ray he said damn you And someone broke my camera And it was New Years And we all started to sing Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
And Tom's voice is perfect here: he always sounds like he's had a skinful.
On the other hand, Motion City Soundtrack describe perfectly every New Year's party I've ever been to...
Why did I come Oh why did I come here? These humans all suck I'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely I'm not trying to sound so insincere But the postcard that's taped to the freezer reads "wish you were here" How I wish I could disappear
Sad to read that MCSt called it a day earlier this year after almost 20 years as a band. Still, maybe they saw the writing on the wall for us all...
Deacon Blue were a great pop band. Not open to debate. Gotta feel sorry for Ricky though - on top of everything else this year, it sounds like he's had trouble with the mother-in-law...
Now I'm telling you this
In a difficult year
Oh, your mother
She gave me problems!
And here's another great pop band... hell, one of the greatest. If you don't believe that, I have three things to say to you:
1) Agnetha's voice is up there with Kate Bush's;
2) Elvis Costello's biggest hit was inspired by Dancing Queen;
3) Blue eyeshadow rocks.
1. Frank Turner & John Snodgrass - Happy New Year
Over on Amazon, someone described the album this comes from thus:
"It's not a real album, it's two blokes and a recorder and lots of alcohol."
Well, I take issue with that statement for a couple of reasons. Firstly... you just described the songwriting process of probably 75% of recorded popular music over the last 50 years. Secondly... Frank & Jon never promoted this as a real album (certainly not in the way that Frank promotes his normal records), it was always supposed to be a couple of buddies jamming and having fun. And it doesn't get more fun than Happy New Year, a song that never fails to make me smile... especially the bit where Frank has to explain to his American pal what Boxing Day is...
Call up your buddies Get them to bring the beer Thin Lizzy on the stereo No fights, no tears If I could be anywhere I'd wanna be here Have a Happy New Year!
Whether you're out partying till dawn... or in bed by ten... have a great New Year's Eve. Here's hoping 2017 is a whole lot better for all of us...
Ten songs about ladies called Jean... you may be surprised how many of them you know.
Special mentions to Jean-Jacques Burnel,Jean Knight, Wyclef Jean, Jean-Luc Ponty and Jean Michel Jarre (most of whom aren't ladies, but I didn't want them to feel left out).
According to the Pogues.com forum, Five Green Queens was a card game Shane used to play in his London flat... and Jean was his landlady. In case you were wondering.
From the sublimely titled albumBad LuckStreak in Dancing School, this cool Zevon classic was co-written by Bruce Springsteen. Of whom, more later... 7. Belle & Sebastian - String Bean Jean
The girls have got a house that’s like a caravan
And it’s like your holidays whenever you go round
And we always have a laugh and then we all get in the bath
To save on the leccy bill
Me & Jo & Phil’
When he's cooking with gas, no one can write a lyric quite like Stuart Murdoch...
She asked me “Do I need to lose a bit of weight?”
And I told her “Don’t be stupid ’cause you’re looking great”
And I call her String Bean Jean because the label on her jeans says
Seven to eight years old – well that’s pretty small
At his best, Julian Cope was an 80s alternative Elvis. I like to think that if the King had lived beyond '77, he might have recorded this with Rick Rubin as part of his career renaissance.
A slab of "sexist rock 'n' roll" according to Bowie, "a song about picking up birds". From the height of his 80s success, this was the first single released after his hugely popular Let's Dance album. (The Musos, of course, claim it's when he sold out.) Although Blue Jean was a big hit too, the rest of the subsequent album (Tonight) was below par for the Dame.
See also The Jean Genie, arguably a much better song... but it's not about a girl called Jean. It's about Iggy Pop instead.
A song so famous, so spectacular, so era-defining and legendary... it deserves a Top Ten all of its own. Here are 10 amazing facts I found on t'internet (with a couple I knew already - like the Eddie Argos one) about Billie Jean. I don't know if these are all true... but what does truth matter in the iffypedia age?
10. They mixed the song 91 times before they got a version they were happy with.
9. The video was the first by a black artist to receive heavy airplay on MTV... but only after the head of CBS threatened to expose the channel's "racist" playlist policy.
8. Lydia Murdock recorded an answer song called Superstar from the perspective of the Billie Jean character. Like a lot of answer records... it's bloody awful.
7. Much better is Eddie Argos's answer song, Billie's Jeans, recorded by Art Brut side project Everybody Was In the French Resistance...Now! It's told from the perspective of Billie and Michael's grown-up lovechild.
My mother always told me You, not me, were the mistake She never regretted the chance she had to take My mother always told me Everything you put her through I told her we're better off without you
She can't have been the only girl Illegitimate children all over the world One day you're gonna get caught And that's an awful lot of child support
6. Kanye West remixed the track for Thriller's 25th anniversary. His version was... bloody awful. Unsurprisingly.
5. Jacko re-recorded the song with new lyrics as part of the Pepsi Generation ad campaign. That was bloody awful too.
4. Producer Quincy Jones tried to get Jacko to change the song's title to Not My Lover in case anyone thought it was about tennis player Billie Jean King. Jones also got Jacko to overdub some of the vocals while singing through a 6 foot long cardboard tube. Apparently.
3. The song has been covered by everybody from Ian Brown to Chris Cornell to Neil Finn to German punk band The Bates (who turned it into a tribute to Hitchcock's Psycho). The best alternative version must surely come from the much-missed Civil Wars. Gorgeous stuff.
2. Daryl Hall claims Jacko confessed to copying BJ's famous bassline from the Hall & Oates song I Can't Go for That (No Can Do). Hall didn't sue because he'd nicked the bassline himself from somewhere else.
1. Although Jackson claimed the song was written about generic experiences he and his brothers had with groupies, his biographer tells a far more detailed story about a psychotic fan who claimed Jackson was the father of one of her twins (yeah, I had to check that was medically possible). The fan became so obsessed with Jacko she even sent him a gun and asked him to participate in a suicide pact which would allow them to be together in the next life. Jacko framed her photo and hung it above his dining table. Allegedly.
And despite all that, it's still only my third favourite Jean song. But as you've seen, the competition was pretty fierce this week.
For many years, Jeane was the great lost Smiths song. Available only as a b-side to the original vinyl release of This Charming Man, it took me ages to locate a scratchy second hand copy which I dubbed onto CD-R and eventually ripped to my computer. (I know, vinyl fans, you're shuddering as you read that, aren't you?) It wasn't released on CD until 2008 as part of yet another Best Of compilation, but it was the main reason I bought that disc - I already owned most of the other tracks. (Which proves home taping doesn't stop true fans buying record also.)
Jeane should have been a much bigger song - but with typical Morrissey / Marr perversity, they virtually threw it away. (Let's not forget, this is the band that originally put How Soon Is Now? out as a 12-inch b-side.) It's classic kitchen sink Shelagh Delaney-esque miserablism from Moz with another speeded up rock 'n' roll riff from Johnny. Billy Bragg does a great version too.
And yes, in most other Top Tens, it would have been Number One.
1. Bruce Springsteen - Bobby Jean
There's some debate in my head about whether Born In The USA deserves a place in my favourite Bruce albums DESPITE the fact it was his bestselling pop global megastar moment. The muso-snob in me will always prefer the album which preceded it (the ultra lo-fi Nebraska, recorded on a tape recorder in his back bedroom) or the one which followed it (the gloomy comedown divorce record, Tunnel Of Love). But if I was going to see Bruce play live again (and I sincerely hope I get another opportunity to do so before he calls it a day for the sake of his knees), I'd rather hear him play Glory Days or Bobby Jean than any of the songs on those other two discs. I'd even settle for Cover Me, and that was rubbish. ('Rubbish' being a relative term where Bruce is concerned.)
On the surface, Bobby Jean is a love song to an old high school girlfriend who may or may not have met a tragic end. Legend has it, however, that the song was written about E Streeter 'Little' Stevie Van Zandt (of the Sopranos and Lilyhammer fame) after he quit the band prior to the release of Born. It's still a love song - but one about missing your old pal after he's gone. Since Little Stevie rejoined the E Street Band, he often takes centre stage with Bruce when this song is performed live.
Next week, the essential sequel: My Top Ten Jeans Songs.
Meanwhile, which Jean is your Harlow... and which is your Hilda Ogden?
No, this isn't a chart full of Serge Gainsbourg and Plastic Bertrand (don't tempt me). Instead, it's ten songs about French things. And no, Lost In France doesn't count. And neither does Parisienne Walkways. Look, it's got to have French in the title, OK? Do try and stick to the rules.
Special mentions to The French Impressionists, The French Horn Rebellion and Everybody Was In the French Resistance...Now! I swear I'm not making them up.
The obvious one. Debbie Harry's biggest solo hit, yet hardly her finest moment. Apparently, this was written by the creator of the sitcom Two & A Half Men. Which would explain a lot, if it's true.
The sultry Sarah Nixey has an icy sangfroid which is definitely verging on the Gallic. Here she tells us how a little la la la saved her life...
I was at my wit's end Things were looking black It was getting pretty obvious I was never coming back I threw open window And I stood out on the ledge When the sweetest sound I've ever heard Pushed me back from the edge
Written by John Moore and Luke Haines, from whom we'll hear more shortly...
Another artist I've been listening to a lot in my dotage. Back when I had money, I bought a cheap box set of his early albums which has sat on the shelf gathering dust until poverty and desperation led me to dig it out. Wow. Thank you, poverty and desperation.
I'd always considered myself a Greatest Hits fan of Zevon but had never listened to any of his full albums. What a songwriter! Witty, acerbic, world-weary lyrics tied to some marvellous melodies... with a host of famous names helping him out in the studio. The French Inhaler is from his self-titled 1976 album and it features Glenn Frey and Don Henley on backing vocals. Elsewhere on the record are Phil Everly, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt, Carl Wilson and half of Fleetwood Mac. And yet, this was never a hit. It's a great shame Zevon will go down in history as just the "Werewolves Of London" guy (great song though that is) because there was so much more to enjoy.
The French Inhaler is a bitter, post-break-up kiss-off to an ex. Yet despite the lyrical rancour, there's a real tenderness to the way Zevon sings it... even the lines below.
Loneliness and frustration We both came down with an acute case And when the lights came up at two I caught a glimpse of you And your face looked like something Death brought with him in his suitcase...
See also French Inhale by Snoop Dogg, which goes into rather too much detail about the whole filthy process for my liking. Still, it's Snoop.
I almost missed seeing Frank Turner perform I Still Believe as the warm-up for the Olympics opening ceremony - fortunately a tweet from Miller sent me running to the iPlayer and I was saved. Hope it brought him to a few new ears.
