Snapshots #410: Songs Without Words In The Title

I thought about calling this collection: Songs With Nonsense titles. But some of them aren't strictly nonsense, they're just not words you'd find in the dictionary. (Watches all the pedants run to find their dictionaries.) Call them what you want, here are fifteen songs with no actual words in their titles...

15. Adrian - SOS! What a kerfuffle.

"Adrian - SOS" was an anagram.

Diana Ross - DoobeDood'nDoobe, DoobeDood'nDoobe, DoobeDood'nDoo

14. Come in, Spanish lads.

"Venga" means "come" in Spanish.

The Vengaboys - Shalala Lala

And if you recognised the Vengaboys from the photo, hang your head in shame. Until yesterday. I thought they were all boys!

13. Office David climbs Ronnie.

David Brent was in The Office. If he climbed Ronnie Wood, he'd be...

Brenton Wood - The Oogum Boogum Song

12. Like Beck, almost.

Beck's surname is Hansen.

Hanson - Mmmbop

Look - they grew up!

11. Sorry, Bono I... no, I can't complete that sentence.

"Sorry, Bono I" was an anagram. I have nothing to apologise to Bono for.

Roy Orbison - Ooby Dooby

I like his backing band in that video.

10. Senior officer required to take care of this boil.

A Major is a senior officer. You lance a boil, but only under medical supervision.

Major Lance - Um Um Um Um Um

9. Tony Stark: lepidopterist.

Tony Stark is Iron Man. A lepidopterist collects butterflies.

Iron Butterfly - In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

Why couldn't they have just called it In The Garden Of Eden?

8. Asking for them is an insult to the chef.

Salt-N-Pepa - Shoop

7. Primal Scream headspinner.

Bobby Gillespie is in Primal Scream.

Dizzy Gillespie - Ooh Bop Sh’bam

6. High Street Chemist rebrands itself as discotheque.

Extra marks if you recognised these guys, with a song that shares a title with the one above... but not much else.

Boots For Dancing - Ooh Bop Sh'Bam

5. Raunchy paperbacks.

Black Lace - Agadoo

I had to get Black Lace in here one day. The fact that they appear on the same weekend as the Vengaboys... well, clearly I have no shame.

18 million youtube views can be wrong!

4. Sheeran's market stall.

Ed Sells!

The Edsels - Rama Lama Ding Dong

3. A can of beans or... some Nescafé and ice.

In the REM song The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, Michael Stipe sings, "A can of beans or black-eyed peas, some Nescafé and ice." But you knew that.

Black Eyed Peas - Dum Diddly

2. In the beginning, he had a kit.

In Genesis, he has a drum kit.

Phil Collins - Sussudio

Phil Collins revealed that "Sussudio" was just some nonsense he made up.

To which we replied, "So's the rest of your back catalogue, Phil!"

1. Bilinguals revolt when they hear his name.

"Bilinguals revolt" was an anagram.

Gilbert O'Sullivan - Ooh Wakka Doo Wakka Day

Ooga shaka ooga shaka ooga shaka back in here next Saturday for more shoobedebopbopbop.

The My Top Ten Mailbag #2: Another Innings

Regarding our recent focus on Cricketing songs, The Blogfather himself, JC, writes...

Hi Rol,

You might already know this, but just in case.

Cricket Wife by Pet Shop Boys - a hard to find track, only released via the hardback book Annually 2011.

I'll throw in the re-recorded West End Girls as a bonus. 

Enjoy!!!!

The Pet Shop Boys - Cricket Wife

The Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls (New Lockdown Version)

Excellent stuff - thank you, JC. I see these also appeared as the concluding chapter of your long-running examination of all the Pet Shop Boys singles... I must have missed that post. That's an LBW for me.

Meanwhile, Our Man In Portugal writes...

I suppose this one was too obvious?

King Short Shirt - Vivian Richards

Only to those in the know, George.

Is that the end of our cricketing tunes? Let's ask Roy...

Celebrity Jukebox #131: David Lynch

The owls are not what they seem.

The term "genius" is often mis-applied, but in my book it's never been more appropriately used than when used to describe writer and director David Lynch. 

This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top.

Much will be written about Lynch's legacy in the world of film and TV, and there's little point in me adding to that other than to say that he was responsible for one of my all time favourite TV shows (two if you count the sequel, which was a very different proposition... and a lot of people couldn't get behind that, but I did) and some of the most affecting, thought-provoking and visionary (another term that rarely gets used appropriately) movies I've ever seen. 

Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world?

His death leaves a big hole. Even though he struggled to get funding to make his films over the last few years, I still held out hope we'd see more from him one way or another. And now he's gone. Another hero of my youth lost to the reaper.

People are frightened by what they don't understand.

Here are some tunes in tribute...

Julee Cruise - Falling

Chris Isaak - Wicked Game

David Lynch & Lykke Li - I'm Waiting Here

Car Seat Headrest - David Lynch Versus The Moon

Surfer Blood - Twin Peaks

Surf Curse - Fire Walk With Me

Sharon Van Etten - Tarifa

Bastille - Laura Palmer

Thank you, Mr. Lynch. You made scared, you made me laugh, you made me think, you made me feel. And you made some damn fine coffee.

In Heaven, everything is fine.

Snapshots #311: A Top Ten Mystery Songs

I suppose you're wondering why I gathered you all here this morning. 

If it's still a mystery, allow me to explain...

10. Leg, Suit, Dream.

Wet Leg, Wet Suit, Wet Dream...

Wet Wet Wet - Sweet Little Mystery

9. Spider-Man's son?

Spider-Man is Peter Parker. Shh. It's a secret identity.

Junior Parker - Mystery Train

That's the original. Long before Elvis got his hands on it.

8. Fair Lady who likes to smooch fish.

My Fair Lady is Eliza Doolittle. If she smooches fish, she might be doing some gil kissing.

Eliza Gilkyson - Mister Mystery

7. Frank n Barry, after a punch up.

Frank Black 'n' Barry Blue get into a scrap, end up looking...

Black 'n' Blue - Miss Mystery

Video of the week. Why wasn't that a hit?

6. You'll find them in Hell or Heaven. 

Hell or Heaven. 

Hello - Little Miss Mystery

5. Two blogging pals get together in a Trojan Hymn.

John and Martin (or Martyn) get into an anagram...

John Martyn - Sweet Little Mystery

4. Humbug, baloney, twaddle.

What a load of tosh.

Peter Tosh - Mystery Babylon

3. Sounds like Paul and Randy... but not the same.

Sounds like Paul and Randy Newman, but not quite the same...

Gary Numan - We Take Mystery (To Bed)

2. Get into ya house, young lady.

Get into ya house.

Toyah - It's A Mystery

1. Is he Basil's mate or similar to a buffalo?

Basil Brush's mate was Mr. Roy. Or (a) bison?

Bono wrote this. Proof that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Roy Orbison - She's A Mystery To Me

More mysteries to be solved next Saturday...

Celebrity Jukebox #32: Claudette Colbert

On Monday, I returned to work after the summer holidays. Normally, this would be the worst day of the year and I would have spent the last two weeks in a massive funk. But in the new job, going back to work was really no hardship (they even bought us pastries to welcome us back!), so the only real problem was when I realised I probably wouldn't have as much time as usual to put together the next Celebrity Jukebox post. I better pick someone with not many songs to their name.

That's not as easy as you think. Hedy Lamarr? On hold. Cyd Charisse? Postponed indefinitely. Surely there can't be more than one song that mentions Claudette Colbert? OK, the American Film Institute named her the 12th-greatest female star of classic Hollywood cinema... but that means there are 11 more lyric-worthy stars for pop stars to name drop, surely? Then again, she made 65 films during her career (top of the bill in 48 of them), she was Cleopatra before Elizabeth Taylor even got out of nappies and showed Clark Gable a thing or two in It Happened One Night. And she could sing too. 

There's no such thing as an easy win in this series. I was, at least, grateful to confirm that Claudette by The Everly Brothers wasn't dedicated to her, but that Roy Orbison penned the tune for his wife who was also called Claudette. Which I'm sure you knew, because you're smart that way.

I did find one tune named after Claudette Colbert, but with only 16 plays on youtube, it hardly seems worth a mention.

Much more interesting was this one from Michael Franks, "king of Quiet Storm" pop-jazz. You might shudder at the very idea, but I'm adding some Michael Franks to my late-night chill out compilations tout de suite. Deal with it. (Actually, this is from his early singer-songwriter days, and his eponymous debut album is really worth a listen.)

Those in the know will nod sagely when I add: this isn't even the best tune I know named after a certain 1948 Bogart flick. Anyway, Claudette shares good company here, with Bogie and Bacall, Fred Astaire and even Melvin Douglas... I'd be amazed if he ever turns up here again.

Me in my pleats like Fred Astaire

You in your curls like Claudette Colbert

Ain't we 'bout as cool as Iceland, baby?

And that would have done me, to be honest. Mission accomplished. I was just about to turn off the computer and go to bed when the interweb offered up another song littered with old movie stars, including Greta Garbo, Heddy Lamar, Vivian Lee, Charles Boyer and...

When they took her away she didn't put up a fight

She was Claudette Colbert in It Happened One Night

It happened one night in a Hollywood Hollywood

She was Outre Lorraine...

I can't find out anything about Richard John Wallace other than that he released one album in 1999 and then disappeared into obscurity. But damn it, if the rest of that album's as good as this, he's going on the bloody list.

Snapshots #215: A Top Ten Candy Songs

I just read that in the early 70s, Charles Bronson was the world's Number One Box Office Star. I find that incredible to believe... but not as incredible as you guys not solving the Snapshots.

Here are this week's candy-coloured solutions...

10. Hoarse or Wonder Horse?

Hoarse would be gruff. Champion The Wonder Horse was a Super Furry Animal. As is a Candylion.

Gruff Rhys - Candylion 

9. Utopian lion.

Anagram!

Paolo Nutini - Candy

8. Where the Elephant Man likes to swim.

John Hurt was the Elephant Man. He likes to swim in the Mississippi.

Mississippi John Hurt - Candy Man Blues

7. Juvenile boing!

A Teen spring.

Bruce Springsteen - Candy's Room

6. Bomb-loving doctors.

Doctor Strangelove, the movie, was also known as Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

The Strangeloves - I Want Candy

The original version of this, which I would have included, except it has appeared here before.

Bow Wow Wow - I Want Candy

5. Dirty copper and his alter ego get tangled up with a Scottish octopus.

The Dirty Copper would be Detective Harry Calahan, aka Clint Eastwood. The Scottish Octopus would be Mc-Ock.

Harry McClintock - Big Rock Candy Mountain

See what I did there?

4. Yo, Boris, Ron says you're all mixed up.

"Yo, Boris, Ron" was an anagram.

Roy Orbison - Candyman

Or you could have had "the candy coloured clown the call the Sandman"...

3. Lost Cleo joins a 10CC Army.

Lost Cleo is an anagram... for Costello.

Ten CC Army is an anagram... for McCartney.

Elvis Costello & Paul McCartney - So Like Candy

2. Cream Soda & Morgan's child.

Cream Soda is pop. Morgan's child would be Piers' son.

Iggy Pop & Kate Pierson - Candy

Classic lost Iggy tune... although it's hard to believe he ever had a haircut like Bryan Adams.

1. Listen to the wind blow... on the Mother & Child Reunion.

"Listen to the wind blow..." is the opening lyric to The Chain.

The mother and child were Mary and Jesus.

The Jesus & Mary Chain - Some Candy Talking

Unless you've got a Death Wish, make sure you join me back here next Saturday morning for more Snapshots...

Radio Songs #69: Back To The Start...

Longtime readers will remember a regular series on this blog that fizzled out a couple of years back entitled Radio Songs. In it I told stories from my first, and best, job, working in local radio. The series fizzled when the fun started to run out, with the arrival of my Arch Nemesis "Tim Allen", computerised playlists and the end of my short-lived on-air career (although I'm not sure I ever got to that story). There are other tales to be told... quite a few actually... and perhaps I'll return to them one day, but in the meantime I thought I'd run a few photographs stolen from a Facebook group full of anoraks who collect bits and piece from the golden age of local radio. These photos show the station I worked at, how it looked when I first arrived there in 1988... although much of it changed dramatically in the following years.

Let's start with the record library. I spent many long hours in there, cataloguing the vinyl you see above at first... and soon after overseeing the beginnings of the compact disc library. And when I say cataloguing, I'm not talking about computerisation... I mean index cards! Be still my beating heart. Just the thought of those old index cards warms the cockles.

I've probably mentioned this before, but when the process of replacing that vinyl with CDs began, a large proportion of the LPs above (along with many of the 7" singles, which were on the unseen opposite side of the central column with postcards pinned to it) ended up in a skip. I, and many of my colleagues, rescued a good few of those records and gave them better homes... but looking back now, I wish I'd rescued a whole lot more. Of course, the ones I did rescue have long since been donated to even better homes... but such is the circle of life.

I can't express to you just how precious it is to see that messy little room again. Joy and heartbreak in one single photograph.

Here's The Big O, leading the charge with the Traveling Wilburys on backing duties...

Hot 100 #18

Only one song by one band named after the number 18 in my record collection... but it's not a bad one at all.

The Eighteenth Day of May - Casey Jones

Welcome back to the Hot 100 as we come of age - backwards - with only 17 more weeks to go before I get to have a lie down. As has become customary in recent weeks, there's a ton of songs to get through... so let's get cracking.

Let's start with Martin...

18... I imagine there must be a bucketful. Can't think of too many off the top of my head though, so will just have to go with:

The Stray Cats - 18 Miles to Memphis 

Art Brut - 18,000 Lira  

So no, I don't expect to be winning again next week...

I dunno - that second one was in serious contention.

Next up is Lynchie...

Kathy Mattea has a decent country song called: "Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Roses"...

Kathy Mattea - Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Roses

Like that.

Speaking of 18 wheels, Rigid Digit offered this beauty...

Alabama - Roll On (Eighteen Wheeler)

RD also threw these into the ring...

Everyone needs a bit of hair metal once in a while:

Skid Row - 18 And Life

That's like a Silvikrin commercial.

How about electronica?

Moby -18

A bit of headbanging stuff?

Megadeth - Hangar 18

Pardon?

Over to Jim in Dubai next...

This week I am leading with: 

The Associates - 18 Carat Love Affair 

Brian seconded that. And then added a couple more of his own...

Bubblegum Splash - 18:10 to Yeovil Junction 

You do know my affection for anything on the Subway Organization label.

Yes, indeed, and while we're doing time of day songs...

Bloc Party - Waiting For The 7:18

Brian's other suggestion was one from my own shortlist...

Grandaddy - A.M. 180

Jason Lytle's first great song but nowhere near his last.

Love that how that cheesy intro cuts into the guitars.

Back to Jim, who also offered...

The Cygnet Ring - 18 Daze

I do like that.

18 Wheeler - Stay

Look - Jim found another 18 band!

Assuming... 

Momus - London 1888 

...doesn't qualify but certainly worth a mention.

Funnily enough, I did say 19th Century songs would be allowed Jim, because I had a few of my own...

Frank Black - 1826

The Pine Hill Haints - Spirit of 1812

Sparks - It Ain't 1918

The Handsome Family - Emily Shore - 1819 - 1839

Television - 1880 Or So

That is where The National got their entire at from!

Nick Nicely - Hill Fields (1892)

And that's where Damon Albarn got his from.

One more date - a day rather than a year though.

The Deep Dark Woods - 18th of December

Great video.

Alyson made it through my defences to drop these two...

Bobby Darin - Eighteen Yellow Roses 

Bryan Adams - 18 Til I Die

OK, before we get to this week's head to head, here's a few more from my hard-drive of horror...

5 Seconds Of Summer - 18

Nils Lofgren - 60 Is The New 18

Think that probably featured in week 60. Here's another one from Nils, from back when he was closer to 18...

Grin - 18-faced Lover

Client - Diary of an 18 Year Old Boy

Reverend & The Makers - 18-30

Theaudience - Now That You Are 18

Roy Orbison - Almost Eighteen

Consider that an uncomfortable taster of the next couple of weeks.

And finally, a top track from last year's long-awaited reunion album...

The Hold Steady - Star 18

All of which leaves us with two choices for this week.

In the red corner, here's Charity Chic...

I'm eighteen with a bullet

Got my finger on the trigger, 

I'm gonna pull it

And Lynchie...

Fascinating facts about Pete Wingfield (I bought "18 With A Bullet" in 1975 - fantastically fun lyrics):

He produced Searching for the Young Soul Rebels the first album by Dexys Midnight Runners - and also produced The Proclaimers "Sunshine on Leith".

He's played keyboards for Van Morrison, The Everly Brothers, The Housemartins and many more.

Sadly however, he did play piano for The Alan Parsons Project, but nobody's perfect.


In the blue corner, here's... erm... Lynchie...

...and then there's the great Alice Cooper song: "I'm Eighteen".

And C...

I definitely second FBCB's suggestion of Alice Cooper's 'I'm Eighteen'.
A few years ago Mr SDS did his best Alice Cooper impression at a fancy dress party (it was so hot his eyeliner ran and the great thing was that it didn't matter...) Somewhere out there now there's a priceless photo of Alice, Slash and Ozzy together in a scout hut in Essex.



And this week's winner...?

Well, it's obvious really, isn't it?

Well done, Lynchie.

Next week - 17. Off the top of my head, there can be only one winner. You may seek to persuade me otherwise...

Saturday Snapshots #51 - The Answers

Shake It Out - The Dog Days Are Over, the answer days are here! Thanks for playing Saturday Snapshots again this week... well done, Lynchie for another well-deserved victory. We might have to start giving him a handicap!



10.  A priest or a bishop is coming.

That would be a Dean of the Parish.

Dean Parrish - I'm On My Way

9. The Royal Mail flies high.

The Postal Service - Such Great Heights

8. The arc of a flyer leads to ill repute.

Joan D'Arc.

Jets fly.

Joan Jett - Bad Reputation

7. Trump builds Jimi's child to block foreign broadcasts.

Jimi Hendrix sung about a Voodoo Child.

Donald Trump wants to build a wall...

...to keep out Mexican Radio.

Wall of Voodoo - Mexican Radio

6. Tuscan capital gets tough love from The Terminator.

The capital of Tuscany is Florence.

The Terminator was a machine.

Florence & The Machine - Kiss With A Fist

5. ❤ 14.

Love - 7 And 7 Is

4. Glennis Rolf, fell snoring, over a quiet sun.

Glennis Rolf and fell snoring are both anagrams for...

Nils Lofgren - Shine Silently

3. Shake hands with the famous Mr. Cribbins and he'll show you what he digs.

Bernard Cribbins had a hole in the ground.

He was also a celebrity.

Shaking hands is "Give me some skin!"

Hole - Celebrity Skin

2. Not Otis Redding or Oprah Winfrey. Having a fantasy or a nightmare?

Otis and Oprah have both been called "The Big O". As has this chap.

Roy Orbison - In Dreams

1. Peggy Sue needs an inhaler.

Great video.



If You've Got The Love for Saturday Snapshots, then it'll be back again next week...