People are dying faster than I can keep up, so if you were expecting a Burt Bacharach jukebox... I'm afraid you'll have to wait till after half term. In the meantime...
When Veronica Lake's name came up in a clue for last week's Snapshots, Alyson commented "Who under the age of 50 nowadays would remember the gorgeous Veronica Lake?" Looking back through her filmography, the only one that's immediately familiar to me is The Blue Dahlia. But the jukebox has a better memory than I do... and so do the Coconuts.
But it's Peter Hammill of the legendary Van der Graaf Generator who closes proceedings for us today, if only because VDGG have never featured here before, in almost 11 years of me writing this blog. Pretty sure they never appeared on the old blog either. First time for everything...
Wear your hair like Veronica Lake
And he says you look ever so pretty
As he brushes the tear from your cheek almost tenderly...
The most prominent fact I knew about Tuesday Weld was that
there was a band named after her. And rather a good band too…
Although I’m unlikely to feature them in Namesakes any time
soon, those guys are not the only band to take Tuesday’s monicker. Here’s a
German combo from the 90s…
Whatever: I figured this would be a quick one. Then I started
digging, and soon discovered that Tuesday (real name Susan) crops up in quite a
few tunes, possibly due to her reputation for playing “impulsive and reckless
women acting out sexually”. A former model and child star, Tuesday turned down
the chance to play Lolita in the Stanley Kubrick film because, “I didn’t have
to play it. I was Lolita.” She also turned down starring roles in Bonnie &
Clyde, Rosemary’s Baby and True Grit, apparently because she knew they would be
big hits and didn’t want the pressure. Perhaps that’s why she dated Elvis but
married Dudley Moore.
There’s a lot more to Tuesday’s story, but you didn’t come
here for the biog. You came for the songs. (Yes, you did.)
Matthew Sweet included a photo of Tuesday Weld on one of his
album covers. Initially the album was called “Nothing Lasts” but apparently
Tuesday didn’t like the inference, so Sweet changed the title to Girlfriend.
In a similar genre to Matthew, here are Doublepluspop, a band
who formed in the late 90s, recorded a bunch of power pop gems, then put them
in the cupboard for a couple of decades, finally releasing them in 2020.
She was Marilyn, Tuesday Weld
We were just 13, but what the hell?
In case you’re wondering, it was an unrequited romance…
She wore a pin for a college boy
Life’s cruel to me
She couldn’t care for the kid with dirty knees
There’s this thing called a sponge? I’m pretty sure they had
those back in the 70s too, City Boy.
Tuesday also gets mentioned in the soundtrack to Hair
alongside Andy Warhol, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and Popeye. Pretty
good company to keep.
If I only owned the Pennsylvania Railroad
And if Tuesday Weld would only be my wife (Oh, Tiny!)
If I could only stay sixteen forever
Then I'd know that I'd be satisfied with life.
70s rock dude Walter Egan is the only songwriter I found to
have named a song after Tuesday…
Never mind Sandra Dee and Yvette Mimieux
Forget Carol Lynley, ‘cos she will never do
If you see Connie Stevens, just take her away
‘Cos she can’t hold a candle to, to, to, to
Tuesday!
Although they don’t mention her surname, Swan Dive
took Ms. Weld as inspiration for this catchy little tune…
She’s groovy like it’s 1969
Gives me peace and love
Makes me feel so fine
She’s got some crazy notions
But I don’t mind at all
‘Cos each time she comes around, I fall
For Groovy Tuesday
The male vocalist in Swan Dive was Bill DeMain, a regular
guest on Ricky Ross’s Radio Scotland show, where he provides musical updates
from his home town of Nashville.
I did find a few other lyrical references to Tuesday Weld,
but none of them were really worthy of keeping company with any of the fine
tunes listed above. And they certainly weren’t in the same class as today's final tune, from
a truly classic 80s album…
Introduce me to that big blonde
She’s got a touch of Tuesday Weld
She’s wearing Ambush and a French Twist
She’s got us wild and she can tell
She loves to limbo, that much is clear
She’s got the right dynamic for the New Frontier
Brian enjoyed this week's early start and munched on a couple of Ladyfingers before bed. I remember when I used to be able to stay up till 11.30 on a Friday night.
6. Alfred's prizewinner wakes up Saint Peter.
That is a very young Robert Zimmerman, the future Nobel Prizewinner. This was going to be this week's Number One until I realised the original isn't available on youtube! Still, it is pretty obscurem I guess. Here's a passable live version...
Happy to see The Swede recognise these guys, even though it took him a bit to get the right song.
If you've never heard Bathtime In Clerkenwell, please give it your ears for a couple of minutes. I can guarantee it won't sound anything like you expect... and if it doesn't make you grin, I'd check your smile at the doc's.
3. The gorgeous breadmaker chooses a naïve, shrunken crone.
Much puzzlement over this masked marvel, though Alyson got it in the end. She almost loses her mark for calling it "that awful milkshake song" though. Surely this is a female empowerment anthem?
1. Complete the marathon with Tracy and Bette.
Spencer Tracy & Bette Davis...
(Doesn't Stevie Winwood look young?)
Brian bagged this one early doors... making it a 3-all draw between him and The Swede as this week's joint winners.
And you think your other half spends a long time in the bath! Imagine if you lived with Miles Hunt...
And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow
Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby
As part of the majestic opera that is Side 2 of Abbey Road, this is Lennon & McCartney at their most amazing. Doesn't really work outside that context though.
Only Neil Hannon could begin a song with a quote from the bible, followed by a lengthy string quartet intro, the lines "Rub-a-dub-dub, it's time for a scrub"... before going on to tell us of Ophelia's last day on earth. If you call that pretentious, you don't understand genius.
Ska classic. Great beat, don't try to make sense of the lyrics.
Can I take you to a restaurant That's got glass tables? You can watch yourself While you are eating
1. The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime In Clerkenwell
I think it's fair to say there's nothing else like this track on this Top Ten... or anywhere else in the known universe. No idea what it's about or where it came from, but it sounds like the best bathtime ever...
I never kept a diary. The closest I ever came was writing a blog. Sadly, I can find only one record about blogging. Scribbling down your life in a diary though... there's plenty to go at.
Written by Abba, a hit for Blancmange,
but it's the Real Tuesday Weld version I can't get enough of. No
actual diary in this song - but if the writer had kept one, his memory
of the day in question might be a little better.
One of my favourite Beautiful South singles, yet one of their least successful. Heaton's on top lyrical form here... what a pity Soul II Soul felt the need to sue him for it for his "Back to bed, back to reality" refrain.
This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese
The Bluetones adapt the diary of one Solomon Grundy, esquire, for one of their greatest songs. It's a cracker. As Kevin Bacon says, doing his best Frank Carson impression on that advert. Now there's something I never thought I'd see...
1. ELO - The Diary of Horace Wimp
I found the story of Horace Wimp heartbreaking as a younger man. I could certainly empathize with his hopeless quest to find a significant other...
Wednesday. Horace met the girl. She was small and she was very pretty. He thought he was in love, he was afraid - uh oh. Thursday. Asked her
for a date, the cafe down the street, tomorrow evening. His head was
reeling, when she said yes, OK.
Those were the best entries in my diary. Which one do you keep padlocked under your pillow so your mum won't read it?
