Snapshots #430: Underwear Songs!

Heidi Hi, campers! 

Welcome back to this week's Snapshots – songs about underwear! Ms. Klum is famous for walking about in her skivvies, though she did agree to keep her kit on for propriety’s sake. It was either her or Biggie Smalls…

15. Crazy, Hippy Lit.

Crazy Chick was a song by Charlotte Church. Hippychick by Soho. And Chick Lit by We Are Scientists.

The Chicks - Tights On My Boat

14. Tanya Donnelly. (Donelly. Donnelly. Donnelly.)

Tanya Donnelly was the lead singer of Belly. (Belly. Belly. Belly.)

Echobelly - Pantyhose and Roses

13. It’s not unusual to be a very patient man.

Tom Waits - Pasties And A G-String

12. Chinese troops in a skirmish.

“Chinese troops” was an anagram.

Stereophonics - More Life In A Tramp’s Vest

11. When it comes to not throwing stones, these guys are the rulers.

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones… but imagine you lived in a Crystal Castle?

Crystal Castles - Through The Hosiery

10. Sounds like a Yes Man to me.

His namesake is Jon Anderson from Yes.

John Anderson - Do You Have a Garter Belt?

Think this was originally a Tony Joe White tune, but Tony appears here regularly.

9. Show me to my seat.

Usher - Lingerie

8. Dado, shags Patti.

Da do Ron Ron… Sex with (Patti) Smith.

Ron Sexsmith - Late Bloomer

7. It takes a bright man to be captain of the England cricket team.  

Sarah Brightman and Michael Vaughan.

Sarah Vaughan – Shiny Stockings

6. Needs ironing out.

The Kinks - Mick Avory's Underpants

Yeah, OK, it’s only an instrumental – but you find a song with underpants in the title!

5. Most stories contain one - Add Me On Snapchat!

Most sTORIes. The Snapchat thing is an acronym that the young people use. Apparently.

Tori Amos - The Power of Orange Knickers

4. May, Kennedy and Wilson, like the cattle.

Three Bri/yans and Highland Cattle.

Bryan Hyland - Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Just be glad I didn’t choose the Timmy Mallett version.

3. Brown, South and Jackson get in the ring.

Three Joes, boxing.

JoBoxers - Boxerbeat

2. Frank takes a Scottish wife, in hashtags and angel eyes.

Frankenstein wanted a Bride, though he wasn’t fussed whether she was a Mc.

In hASHtags and angeLEYes.

Ashley McBryde, Caylee Hammack, Pillbox Patti - Brenda Put Your Bra On

And yes, Ashley has some help on that track… but how long do you want my clues to get?

1. REM's 11th album gets a mixed response.

REM’s 11th was the LP UP. Anagram!

Pulp - Underwear

 

Something less pants next Saturday.

Cnut Songs #11: Special Offer

Special Wednesday Competition!

Look at the photo above and work out which coffee I want to buy.

Rassenfrassen...

Saturday Snapshots #42 - The Answers

Let Me Entertain You with the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots. No Regrets if you got any wrong. You're all Angels for taking part...

Charity Chic was this week's winner with a last minute goal (lots of football references this week - perhaps The World Cup had more effect on me than I realised).


10. Aussie lady is loyal to honey in orbit with Roger, initially.

Australian ladies are known as Sheilas.

If you're loyal to honey, you might have bee-devotion.

If you're in orbit, you could be in Space, with the initial letter of Roger...

Sheila & B. Devotion - Spacer

9. Does Morse's sidekick have enough to buy dinner for Hicks, Murray and Clinton?

Well done to Chris for piecing these clues together - Morse would be proud.

Inspector Morse's sidekick was Lewis.

Hicks, Murray and Clinton are all BIlls.

We buy dinner with lunch money... don't get me started on that dinner at tea time nonsense!

LunchMoney Lewis - Bills

8. An old Stone has wood for Morrissey - making it as good as it was in the beginning.

An old Stone related to Wood would be Ron.

Having wood is a euphemism for sexual attraction. Morrissey was in The Smiths (no, really, he was).

Making something as good as it was in the beginning would be to return it to its former flory.

Ron Sexsmith - Former Glory

7. Atkinson gets up early to win the Cup.

Ron Atkinson was a football-type, meaning he was part of the Football Association and would be interested in winning the F.A. Cup. FA + Ron = blimey.

Early would be 4 in the morning.

Some debate over whether this was actually a photo of the singer in question - Martin committed the heinous crime of google image searching and google mistakenly informed him that the above photo was of "of long-dead minor character actor Louis Jean Heydt". Which just goes to show that you can't trust google image search to help you with this quiz because THIS is "long-dead minor character actor Louis Jean Heydt"...

However, if Martin's image search had revealed the answer to be Don Draper, I might have been hard-pressed to dispute that suggestion...

Perhaps this would have been easier if I'd used the photo I originally selected for this week's competition...

...but luckily I spotted the rather large clue in that image before I clicked 'post'.

In the end, I had to offer an extra clue to help you solve this one... Prefab Sprout! Every little sentiment's an antique. Charity Chic finally worked it all out, helping him clinch this week's title.

Saturday Snapshots: I don't just throw it together, you know!

Faron Young - Four In The Morning

6. And call the location of a small stream.

A small stream is a beck.

Beck and call.

Location = where it's at.

Beck - Where It's At

Still my favourite Beck song.

5. Scott's bride fails to find herself.

Scott (Jason Donovan) married Charlene (Kyle Minogue).

Charlene - I've Never Been To Me

I'm not sure if this will make you feel any better, Alyson, but I knew you'd be the one to get that.

4. Sprint back to the Holy Island.

The Holy Island is Lindisfarne.

Lindisfarne - Run For Home

3. Young Beckham crosses the East River - that's as bad as it gets!

Beckham's son is called Brooklyn. (To be fair, until I researched this clue, I thought Brooklyn Beckham was a girl. Shows what I know.) The Brooklyn Bridge crosses the East River. C claims this quiz gets harder every week, but she still solved this week's hardest clue.

Brooklyn Bridge - The Worst That Could Happen

2. Tell Gabriel to take a seat in Italian and celebrate the splendour of amore.

Oy! Peter (Gabriel). Sit-era!

Who says puns are dead?

The photo is of Peter Cetera today. If you want to see what he looked like at the time of Karate Kid II...

Peter Cetera - The Glory of Love

Rigid Digit turned up relatively late this week, and this is all I had for him!

1. Hen sees VD and Lucifer in my loafers.

Anagram of the week. Hen sees VD unscrambles as... The band Oasis always dreamed of being.




Phew. Need to go lie down in a dark room after that. Saturday Snapshots will return next Millennium... or next week, if I'm recovered.

My Top Ten Dragonfly Songs

In the UK, we're currently struggling to cope with this long-forgotten concept (some of us remember it from our childhoods, but most had started to believe it a myth) of "summer". Our native insect population is certainly having a field day, with flying ants invading Wimbledon and huge butterflies and dragonflies being sighted in gardens across the country.

What better reason to dig out ten top tunes about dragonflies?


10. Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Dragonfly Pie

I like a good pie as much as the next Yorkshireman, but I'm not sure I could eat one made of dragonflies.

(I think this might be about drugs. Shh. Don't tell anyone.)

9. Paul Weller - Dragonfly

Also sounds like stoner-rock.

She's like a dragonfly with no fire

Diaphanous with no intent

Earthbound

She's like a horse with no rider

All this space

Without the chase

Or choosing

She's like a sea with no waves

All adrift

Upon a ship

Nowhere

Hardly Down In The Tube Station At Midnight, is it?

8. Fleetwood Mac - Dragonfly

Early Mac, after Peter Green's departure, when Danny Kirwan was briefly in charge. This is his song, though the lyrics are from a poem by W.H. Davies. Christine McVie had just joined the Mac and can be heard on backing vocals. God, this band must surely have the most convoluted history in the whole of rock!

And when the roses are half-bud soft flowers

And lovely as the king of flies has come

It was a fleeting visit, all too brief

In three short minutes, he had been and gone

He rested there upon an apple leaf

A gorgeous opal crown sat on his head

Although the garden is a lovely place

Was it worthy of so fine a guest?

7. Paul McCartney - Little Lamb Dragonfly

Sounds like an Abbey Road outtake. Which is a good thing, whatever you might think of Sir Thumbs Aloft now.

6. The Icicle Works - As The Dragonfly Flies

In another universe, U2 never made it and The Icicle Works were the biggest band of the 80s. I'd like to live in that universe.

5. Kasey Chambers - Dragonfly

And you went to the party and I was not invited

And everybody knows that the girls are one-sided

And the boys don't cry, neither do I

When you're picking off the wings of a dragonfly

Kasey Chambers - voice like an angel... with a little devil inside.

I've done everything that you could ever imagine

I've screwed all of my friends but I'm not bragging

I wish 'em well, don't kiss and tell

'Cause I don't really want nobody else

4. Red House Painters - Dragonflies

Kozelek. From before he became a grumpy old man. Still knows how to get into your head though.

I wonder in what fields today

You're chasing dragonflies at play

My little lost girl so far away

3. Devendra Banhart - Dragonflies

Very short, but very cool.

I don't owe me any money,

You don't owe me a thing.

When we drink beer,

Dragonflies appear.

Dragonflies appear.

2. Ron Sexsmith - Dragonfly On Bay Street

Ron gets funky as a dragonfly leads to a swift career change...

Used to work as a messenger

Spent my days riding elevators

In the heart of the business world

Till one day there came a sign

In the form of a

Dragonfly on Bay Street

Buzzing round from tower to tower

At the twilight of the working hour

Had he taken a wrong turn?

Was he lost without a trace?

Just like us

Dragonfly on Bay Street

1. Boo Hewerdine - Dragonflies

Mark Nicholas Hewerdine, Boo to us, one of music's great philosophers...

A lost summer's day, a lifetime away

What do you find?

Slow turning sun, with somewhere to run

On your mind

Not the flash that you saw

That was gone in the wink of an eye

As soon as we're here

We disappear like dragonflies

Their miracle blue can never tell you

How it came to be

Each different kind, accidental designed

Before you and me

And we ask the whole of our lives

Maybe there's no why

As soon as we're here

We disappear like dragonflies

Frequent Boo-collaborator Eddi Reader does a lovely version of this too.



Any dragonflies buzzing round your collection. (I'm taking bets on which one of you mentions The
S*****s.)

My Top Ten Clown Songs

Every Halloween, I like to post a horror-themed Top Ten. In recent years, I've done My Top Ten Frankenstein Songs, My Top Ten Vampire Songs, My Top Ten Haunted Songs and My Top Ten Zombie Songs (although for some reason, I didn't post that one at Halloween). I was going to do werewolves this year, but it turns out there's something much scarier out there at the moment... and I don't mean Donald Trump. Louise has even made us buy new curtains in case we glance out and see one of these stood in our garden. And so, as a special Halloween treat, I bring you My Top Ten Clown Songs. Let's be careful out there...

Special mention to the scariest clown you'll ever hear: Harpo's Rock 'n' Roll Clown. Now I wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night.

Second special mention to the weirdest threesome in rock history... Joni Mitchell, Tom Petty and... Billy Idol: Dancin' Clown.

Final special mention to Insane Clown Posse. They're supposed to be scary, but I think they're hilarious.

Other fine clowns who were in the running include Elvis Costello (three times, actually), Neil Diamond, Admiral Fallow, Toby Keith, The Cocteau Twins, Jimmy Webb, Brett Anderson, Grand National, Status Quo and Manfred Mann... obviously. Yes, I could have done a Top 20, but I don't do those anymore.

Here's the clowns that did make the circus...



10. The Replacements - Lay It Down, Clown

Let's set the pace, shall we? In case you think this Top Ten's gonna be full of big shoes, cars with their wheels falling off and custard pies in the face. Here's Paul Westerberg's switchblade-carrying clown, angry that rumours keep spreading all over town...

9. Malcolm Middleton - Crappo The Clown

And don't come to Malcolm Middleton looking for a red nose either. A broken nose, maybe...

Two people left in my world
One of them's a dick, can you guess who it is?
Can you win a prize?

Malcolm Middleton: he can destroy hope. Me, I find him perversely hilarious (but in a very different way to Insane Clown Posse).

8. Turin Brakes - Last Clown

This is the world we live in now, Turin Brakes. I picked up two of your albums (and one by Counting Crows), at 'three for a quid' in the local charity shop the other week. That said, I liked them enough that I might pay full price for the next one.

Last clown, drinking in a bar that's about to be closed down
A hero, I was in people's plans I was shaking their hands
I got lost in the world, slow motion walking and diatribe talking
As bad as things be, I'm a natural survivor

7. Warren Zevon - Something Bad Happened To A Clown

By the time you reach the end of this list, you'll realise there's not one happy clown in sight. No wonder they all end up turning bad...

He used to honk his horn and everyone would laugh
He used to honk his horn
She doesn't think he's very funny anymore
Footprints in the sawdust leading to the edge of town
Something bad happened to a clown

6. Idlewild - Like A Clown

Great track from last year's "comeback" album, Everything Ever Written.

The typical code of conduct
At the international clown hall of fame 
Not to smile until you've painted on your smile 
You go looking for laughter 
Yeah, you could be another poet like John Crowe Ransom, Whitman or Hart Crane 
All those words you leave behind 
Will fit together in time 
Like a clown 
You'll do anything for fame 
Tell me did you ever meet another clown 
Who said I'll be around for you now?

5. Everly Brothers - Cathy's Clown

Don't want your love anymore
Don't want your kisses, that's for sure...

The best opening Phil & Don ever wrote. It sold 8 million copies on 7" alone. John Lennon copied the vocal arrangement on Please Please Me.

Aussie band You Am I wrote an entirely different song with the same title. That didn't quite sell 8 million.

4. Dave Davies - Death of a Clown

Dave Davies' only real solo hit (though I have featured one of his other, less successful, solo singles here before) is a resigned shrug towards the circus-like life of a touring rock star, co-written with Ray. 

3. Ron Sexsmith - Clown In Broad Daylight

One of my favourites from Ron, although the live acoustic Ron-cam recreation above isn't as good as the album version. Great lyrics though...

Everything is alright for against the backdrop of ordinary life
It's the easy laugh that gets you through
Your working day and the hogwash
Sad but true, he's a clown in broad daylight

2. Judy Collins - Send In The Clowns

One of the saddest songs ever written. Hence it's been recorded by everybody from Frank Sinatra to Grace Jones, Lou Rawls to Madonna. I'm particularly fond of Mark Kozelek's latest version (not the one on youtube), but Judy's is the definitive recording. The song was written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical A Little Night Music, and he claims it's not literally about circus clowns: just fools like us.

1. Smokey Robinson & The Miracles  - Tears of a Clown

And this is why Smokey Robinson is a god. Just listen to these lyrics: in a chirpy pop song, for Smokey's sake!

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in a lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown

The music was written by Stevie Wonder who couldn't come up with a decent lyric so took it to the Motown Christmas party and played it to Smokey in the hope he'd come up with something. He did.

Tears of a Clown is also one of the only pop songs to feature a bassoon. More on that here.

There are those who will tell you that The Beat's version is better, but they are men of a certain age (i.e. about 5-10 years older than me) and though it's a fine opinion I respect greatly... I must disagree.





Which one honks your horn?

My Top Ten Glory Songs

I have finally completed my PGCE - glory, hallelujah!


10. Peter Cetera - Glory Of Love

Yes, I am a teenager of the 80s - and proud of it. 

From Karate Kid Part II, in case you were trying to remember.

The Chicago frontman has one EVIL stare in this video. Those are almost BOWIE eyes.

9. Johnny Cash - This Train Is Bound For Glory

A Woody Guthrie anthem that offers a counterpoint to our #2 song. 

8. Leonard Cohen - Morning Glory

Even by Lenny's own bizarre standards, this one's madness.

Is it censorship?
No, it's evaporation.

Ten extra marks if you can even begin to explain what this is about.

7. Ron Sexsmith - Former Glory

Classy.

6. Jon Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory

You know you'd have moaned if this hadn't been here. Yes, you would. Don't try to deny it.

I'm a colt in your stable
I'm what Cain was to Abel
Mister Catch Me If You Can

From Young Guns Part II, in case you were trying to remember. I bet Jon By Jovi was bloody cold filming that video.

5. The Clash - Death Or Glory

Just another story...

Now every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the world
And ends up making payments on a sofa or a girl...

I suppose I could have quoted the lyric about nuns... but I'll leave that to #2.

4. Kathleen Edwards - I Make The Dough, You Get The Glory

A songwriting partnership hits the ropes. Classic Kathleen.

You're cool and cred like Fogerty
I'm Elvis Presley in the 70's
You're Chateauneuf, I'm Yellow Label
You're the buffet, I'm just the table
I'm a Ford Tempo, you're a Maserati

3. Frank Turner - Glory Hallelujah

Put your hands together for Frank's atheist gospel anthem. 

2.  Pulp - Glory Days

The closing track of the greatest album of the 90s. In My Humble Opinion.

Oh and I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it, and I,
I could do anything if only I could get round to it.
Oh, we were brought up on the Space-Race,
Now they expect you to clean toilets.
When you've seen how big the world is,
How can you make do with this?

1. Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days

One of the very best songs of the 80s. If I close my eyes and listen to it now, I can only remember the good parts of being a teenager...

Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of... 
Well, time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister 
But boring stories of glory days

Which one fills you with glory?

P.S. Glorious songs have been saved for another post. Don't mither.

My Top Ten Berry Songs

Fruity berries... because it's harvest time. The internet informs me that strawberries aren't actually berries... but bananas are. I don't believe everything I read on the internet, but for the sake of argument - to make this list, all songs must have the word "berry" in the TITLE. That's the rules for today.

Special mentions go to Strawberry Switchblade, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Strawberry Whiplash, Strawberry Story, The Cranberries, and, of course, Chuck. But not Nick. Never Nick. (That said, isn't it about time some tosspot from the X-Factor did a really bad cover of Every Loser Wins, just to get us all nostalgic for the original?)

10. The Beatles - Strawberry Fields Forever

I think I'm almost through my Hating The Beatles phase. I'm starting to appreciate them again.

That said, depending on your age and whether or not you're still sorted for Es and Wizz, you may prefer the Candy Flip version.

Me, I'd rather have the Hayseed Dixie version. That's some damned fast finger-pickin'!

9. Everclear - Strawberry

The one you've probably never heard of, and reckon shouldn't even be here. Luckily, it's my blog - and I like Everclear!

8. Ron Sexsmith - Strawberry Blonde

Had a hard day at work? Turn the lights down, put this on and...chill.

7. Super Furry Animals - Cloudberries

A song about hummingbirds. I think.

6. The Dentists - Strawberries Are Growing In My Garden (And It's Wintertime)

Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1985.

5. Ocean Colour Scene - Huckleberry Grove

One of their best songs, and it was only ever a b-side. 

4. The Move - Blackberry Way

The dark night of the summer of love.

3.  Prefab Sprout - Blueberry Pies

We're getting a lot of Prefab Sprout on this blog. There's a very good reason for that: Paddy McAloon is FANTASTIC.

Plus, blueberries are my favourite fruit.Which brings us to...

2. Fats Domino - Blueberry Hill

Where else can you find your thrill?

1. Prince - Raspberry Beret

Untouchable... but don't blame me if the video below doesn't work by the time you hit play. His highness does hate youtube. UPDATE... oops, spoke too soon - he's removed it. Good old Prince. Here's the Hindu Love Gods version instead...


 



Gilbert O'Sullivan's greatest hits album is called 'The Berry Vest of Gilbert O'Sullivan'. (I really need to find a way to shoehorn some Gilbert O'Sullivan into one of these Top Tens.) So, with that in mind, which is your Berry Vest Serry Bong?