So here's a lazy idea for a new series, in which I dig back into the archives of my previous blog and mine it for content, thereby allowing myself to make sarcastic commentary on my younger self, with new tunes. Let's start by looking back at the first blog post I ever wrote...
I used to think blogging was pointless. I'm starting to think it'll soon be essential. I'm not sure that's a good thing, but it may be unavoidable.
For my first post, I considered a huge essay on how the Internet might be a champion of the individual, leading us gloriously forwards to a true democracy of opinion... or it might be the beginning of a collective loss of identity and privacy, a hive mind that eventually erases the individual altogether.
But I'm not smart enough to write that essay, especially when far more incisive social commentators have been there already. In her book, 'Tomorrow's People', Professor Susan Greenfield suggests:
"In brief, the notion of an independent individual, with a private life and a unique portfolio of thoughts, knowledge and opinions, is finished."
The future scares me. "Maybe the Unabomber had a point." But we can't go back now.
Ironically, I reckon I joined the blogoverse just as it had ceased to be essential, and the tastemakers were already starting to move on. I couldn't see that at the time. Maybe my arrival was the first nail in the coffin...
I don't know where I got that quote from, as I don't recall reading that book. Maybe I did. I read a lot more books 18 years ago. Of course, that quote seems all the more apt - and eerily prescient - looking back at it now. I'd like to claim some kind of foresight there, but as usual, I was just regurgitating what I'd read elsewhere, with added jokes.
The more things change, the more they stay the same...
At which point, I could have linked to this... but I figured you might prefer...
When I get up, I ache as I get out of bed, ache as I walk down the stairs, ache when I get into the car.
When I get up off the sofa to go into the kitchen, I stiffen up like an old man. Same when I get out of my desk at work to go teach.
My thumbs have some serious ache going on. Maybe it's arthritis, maybe it's carpal tunnel. I told the doctor about it and she said, "I've never heard of that before."
My back's been bad since I fell down the stairs and broke my arm, getting on 15 years ago now. Slipped disc. Nothing they can do about it.
But this latest ache is a real pain in the backside.
For the last few years, I've been carrying my wallet around in my back pocket. I used to keep it in my coat, then I got a new summer jacket that didn't have very good inside pockets, and the wallet went in the back of my pants. Everyone does it, right? If not your wallet then your phone. You see it all the time. (Not that I walk around staring at other people's backsides... or maybe I do and I just don't want to admit it.)
Lately though, it's been hurting to sit down with my wallet in my back pocket. Never did before, but now it's got really uncomfortable. Turns out when I google it, there's a whole thing about it. Who knew?
Only... where am I going to keep my wallet now?
Well, my friends are gone and my hair is grey
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
I'm just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song
It's Friday 13th today. I hope you all get through it unscathed...
Don't worry if you Drew a blank yesterday, here are the answers to our special 200th Anniversary edition of Saturday Snapshots. All the song titles were taken (or adapted) as band names by other artists...
Far more column inches would be devoted to Phil Spector's musical legacy this week... had the rest of his life been so filled with ignominy.
How often do you get to use a word like ignominy? The chance to do so was the final tipping point in my decision to compile this Top Ten. Little Stevie Van Zandt put it best earlier this week...
RIP Phil Spector. A genius irredeemably conflicted, he was the ultimate example of the Art always being better than the Artist, having made some of the greatest records in history based on the salvation of love while remaining incapable of giving or receiving love his whole life.
Let's put aside Spector the man and remember instead some of his finest creations...
A much-derided album, described by Rolling Stone as "the world's most flamboyant extrovert producing and arranging the world's most fatalist introvert" and by Leonard Cohen himself as "grotesque". It's not among my favourite Lenny records and parts of it plain don't work, but the title track (and a couple of others) are mesmerising if you devote enough time to them.
Some people don't like this song because of the whole "Krishna, Krishna" bit. Others call to attention the court case where Harrison was sued for "subconsciously" ripping off He's So Fine by The Chiffons. But people are generally wrong, I find, and this song never grows old.
The forgotten entry in Spector's back catalogue, yet still achingly beautiful. I remember reading a review of this album when it was re-issued in 2001, hunting it down and falling head over heels in love.
If aliens picked up transmissions from earth and these two songs were what they heard, they'd leave us alone because clearly we are a superior civilization.
Imagine having these three songs in your back catalogue and not being as big a household name as The Beatles, The Stones or David Bowie? There is no justice in the world.
My antipathy towards U2 is well documented so you may be surprised to find them at the top of the page this week. But really, there weren't a whole lot of strong contenders... and I did want to give U2 some credit to make up for years of taking the mick. There was a point sometime in 1988/9 where I thought they may be OK. Not earlier - I still think The Joshua Tree is one of the most overrated albums ever recorded... but Rattle & Hum... that, I didn't mind. So here, for the record, is my favourite U2 song. It's not a long list...
Truly the late 80s / early 90s were a dire time for chart music. I was in my late teens at the time and the tracks above largely forced me to venture outside the charts for the first time in my musical history.
No other song will touch that, if only for the sheer majesty of Pearl's vocal (and Carl's ability to use only one side of his mouth whilst singing).
Initially, I couldn't find that anywhere on the internet, but George was kind enough to send me a link so you can enjoy it in all its glory.
That was the first thing to spring to my mind too, C. Though I still have nightmares about the awful Rod Stewart / Tina Turner version. The Sonny & Cher version (as suggested by Martin) is quite fun though.
I don't suppose anyone will mention that song about little boys by a certain person...although it was covered by Splodgenessabounds.
I loved that song when I was young. It breaks my heart that we can't listen to it anymore without awful connotations.
Martin was the first to observe that I have my work cut out for me this week.
As for "two", there are going to be loads, aren't there? Don't envy you collating them.
I'll let you into a secret... last week was training / CPD week at work. I attended all the training sessions online. But I also... multi-tasked. Which is why there was no pause in transmission this week.
So here are some. No doubt I'll forget something again this week, my mind is getting soft.
I think that goes for all of us after the past few months.
Yes, I know that's a 97... and we did feature it way back in 1984 when we were doing that week of the Hot 100 on Ceefax, before the interweb. But it's based on the two songs above, so I'll break loads of rules and throw it in.
Time for Douglas, who made the journey from Canada in record time this week...
Oh my, I somehow got here before The Swede published a list a clothyard long! I just have to get a few early suggestions in, then perhaps come back later after some real thought. For starters, since I (indirectly) promoted The Lucksmiths last week, here are two solid suggestions from the Australian artists of winsome wordplay:
Then of course there is the master of meticulous songcraft himself, the creative genius behind The Blue Nile (who births an album roughly every fifteen years):
Makes one want to smile and cry at the same time. And perhaps me especially after I discovered that the vinyl copy of the album from which it comes (2012's "Mid Air") which I purchased on release date for under $30 is now going on Discogs for something in the mid $300's. A better investment than real estate. And speaking of which, there is:
And for my usual Canadian offering, you could do worse than save some room for Montreal's beloved and finest indie rock band (no, don't worry, not Arcade Fire):
I'm allowing those last two, but I didn't want to open the can of worms that was "second songs" or we really would have been here all week.
On to Alyson, who was missing in action last week but returns full force this week...
So, so many 2 suggestions. I am struggling to come up with anything better than Party Fears Two so agree with that one and here's a little extract from when I wrote about that song after my trip to Dundee.
'It’s certainly a strange title for a song and tricky to understand the lyrics other than that a party is involved. Billy did explain the origin however, 'My wee brother was at a party watching two girls who wanted to come in. They were smashing windows and attempting to kick the door in with their stiletto heels, which he admired, so he christened them the Party Fears Two and I pinched the title from him.''
That's a great explanation. I love that song, especially the opening line.
Sadly, Alyson's other suggestions all fall foul of the the Tom Robinson Rule.
I figured there would be a load more 2am song, but it seems only Iron Maiden are hard enough to stay up that late. Anyone else who stays up that late appears to not be happy about it...
It's at this point that I have to give Rigid Digit a special award this week, for nabbing most of my top contenders in a very short space of time. Any of these could have been this week's winner. In fact, I had them listed together in almost the same order you presented them, RD...
I added the second Joe Jackson tune myself and seriously considered giving them joint winner status in the same way I had three winners last week. Sadly, a more obvious choice presented itself. But any other week...
Over to Jim in Dubai...
I fully endorse Swiss Adams choice of Party Fears 2, still sounds great and would be a worthy winner.
Now at this point in proceedings, I was feeling pretty smug about being way ahead of the game and well on track for a timely post with no overtime required.
Hi folks. Sorry I'm late. I culled this list of appropriate tunes from my hard-drives a couple of weeks back and have attempted to take out anything already suggested - apologies for any I've duplicated...
OK, time to pull an all-nighter!
At least The Swede started with two he knew would be on my list...
Let it be known, that in line with me keeping my sanity, I am going to heretofore limit The Swede to only 600 suggestions per week.
And after all that, I doubt very much that anyone will want to read my shortlist... although I think there's a couple at the top of my list that will a few of you kicking yourselves...
This week's winner was first suggested by John Medd, then seconded by Martin. It wasn't my first thought, but once it was out there, I couldn't think of anything any more appropriate.
Sam has taken to singing this song thus...
Woohoo! Abbamebaddawawa!
Woohoo! Dabbaweewawameme!
I've told him what the actual words are and he sings them once or twice, then goes back to the nonsense. Actually, I think the nonsense words are even more appropriate, since pure pop should be nonsense... and this is a contender for the purest indie pop song ever written.
Pleased ta meetcha!
Only one more to go. And there can be only one winner... but what will it be?
It seems appropriate to re-use this image today as clue #3 caused a hell of a lot of head-scratching yesterday. As I type this at 7.55pm on Saturday night, nobody has yet got the song... but I'm confident you will have done by the time this post goes live. Same for #1. Whether anybody got #6 is another matter.
*Update - Alyson finally cracked the clue, just before 8.*
51 comments as I post this. That may well be a record. I didn't go out of my way to make it harder this week... some weeks I do, but this wasn't one of them!
10. I taught I taw a Puddy Cat - I did! It wasn't made up!
