Celebrity Jukebox#46: Bela Lugosi

There are certain celebrities who are arguably more famous for the song they appear in than for their own career. I'm not sure Bette Davis is quite there yet, but all it'll take is Rhianna or Adele doing a cover of that Kim Carnes song and it'll be Whatever Happened To Bette D? Bela Lugosi, on the other hand, is surely known by more people now because of the Halloween favourite by Bauhaus than for any of his classic horror film performances.

The internet tells me "Bauhaus bass player David J wrote this song's lyric after bingeing on vampire movies that were showing on TV in England (this was before Netflix)", which is the kind of quote that makes me want to punch all Millennials in the face. Imagine true horror - "a world before Netflix"!

White on white translucent black capes

Back on the rack

Bela Lugosi's dead

The bats have left the bell tower

The victims have been bled

Red velvet lines the black box

Bela Lugosi's dead

Undead undead undead

The virginal brides file past his tomb

Strewn with time's dead flowers

Bereft in deathly bloom

Alone in a darkened room

The Count

Bela Logosi's dead

Undead undead undead

Bela Lugosi's Dead has been covered by a list of obvious suspects, including The Damned and Nine Inch Nails, but by far the best alternative version is this...

Nouvelle Vague - Bela Lugosi's Dead

David J returned to the track himself in 2013 for a completely different take...

David J featuring Jill Tracy - Bela Lugosi's Dead (Undead is Forever)

The song is considered the first Goth rock record (and my amazing powers of precognition tell me it'll be Number One in the No Badger Required "Goth! Show Me Magic" countdown which ends this morning). As such it gets its own references in the following tunes...

Falcon Heavy - Peter Murphy Says

Tried to sing Bela Lugosi's dead

But all the blood was rushing to my head

Powerman 5000 - Black Lipstick

You said life is a lie

As you laid down on the bed

Then you started to cry

And sang Bela Lugosi's dead

That's a song which warns of the dangers of taking a Goth home for a one night stand...

You left black lipstick

Black lipstick on my sheets

Don't say you weren't warned. For an alternative point of view, you might consider this...

Lee Christian - Goth Girls Do It Better

I'm Bela Lugosi baby, 

I'm your Vincent Price

Well, If I bite u once, girl, 

I've got to bite u twice

One more song that references the Bauhaus tune...

Voltaire - The Vampire Club

You'll have to listen to that one yourself if you want the reference because, "This artist does not want the lyrics to this song be posted on the internet."

And while this one doesn't mention Bauhaus directly, I reckon they had it on repeat in the studio...

Lesbian Bed Death - Béla Lugosi's Back

  

Onto more direct Bela Lugosi mentions. Let's start with Ray...

The Kinks - Celluloid Heroes

You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard

Some that you recognize, some that you've hardly even heard of

People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame

Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain

Rudolph Valentino looks very much alive

And he looks up ladies dresses as they sadly pass him by

Avoid stepping on Bela Lugosi

'Cause he's liable to turn and bite

But stand close by Bette Davis

Because hers was such a lonely life

Bela Lugosi's story is a tragic one, plagued by type casting, dwindling fame, alcoholism and drug addiction. If you've seen the movie Ed Wood, you'll remember Martin Landau's stand out performance as a latter day Lugosi. I can't help but think of that when I listen to the song above. Speaking of Ed Wood, Bela also makes a cameo appearance in this slice of glorious nonsense...

Mummula - Ed Woodn't (Oh No, No, No)

Where to go from there? How about Noddy...?

Slade - My Baby's Got It

Ohhhh I wanna be Bela Lugosi 

And the Marx Brothers rolled into one

Well baby baby baby believe me, 

I'm solid gone

Or you could imagine chatting up a Bela Lugosi lookalike in your local...

Squeeze - F-Hole

We watched each other closely

She looks like Bela Lugosi

She asked me for a ride home

I felt around for my comb

She lived down by the river

A flat the council give her

Wallpaper very scenic

Her outlook very beatnik

Here's Brian Wilson's mate, with some lyrics I can't quite make out (though I disagree with what the interweb thinks they are) although they do namedrop Bela alongside Bing Crosby and Mae West...

Van Dyke Parks - The Four Mills Brothers

While you try and decipher that, here's former High Jump Champion Amber Bollinger and her band... 

Broken Baby - Personality Party

I'm on my back like a beetle

Can't turn me on

It's an erotic kinda seething

This ain't a dance it's a full time Bela Lugosi

And if that wasn't scary enough, try some Curtiss Tigers...

Curtis Stigers - Sleeping With The Lights On

Bela Lugosi

And Boris Karloff too

Make such strange bedfellows

But how to they know you

How about some Spiders Dressed In Red? (If it's good enough for Peter Parker, it's good enough for me.)

Spiders Dressed In Red - Bela Lugosi

Or you might prefer some Drag-ula?

Sharon Needles - Dracula

Meanwhile, in Paisley, our old pal Momus is pondering biting the dust...

Momus - What Will Death Be Like?

Death will be unlike the charge of the Light Brigade 

Alfred Lord Tennyson rhymed

Death will be unlike the thin piece of paper 

That Reagan and Gorbachev sign

Death will be unlike the night thoughts of 'Late Call' 

When ministers stop being cosy

Death will be unlike 'The Pit and the Pendulum' 

Co-starring Bela Lugosi

I'll be honest: there were so many songs that referenced Bela Lugosi, I started to wonder what death would be like when faced with the prospect of listening to them all. So I gave up. But not before I'd discovered this glorious artefact from Malcolm Tucker and the Twelfth Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi, back when he was just a young lad in a post-punk band...

My Top Ten Beach Boys Songs

50 years. Wow.

I could pick up any Beach Boys Greatest Hits album and the first ten tracks would blow most other records recorded in the last fifty years out of the water. With lots of surf spray. So, yeah, this was another damned hard chart to compile...


10. Lady Lynda

A late 70s comeback record that was a surprise hit in the UK. Mostly an Al Jardine song, it steals heavily from Johann Sebastian Bach's Jesu, Joy of Mans Desiring. One of the few classic Beach Boys records I can actually say I heard first time round... unless you count Kokomo. Which I do have great fondness for, but not enough to include it in a Top Ten... or even Twenty.

9. Long Promised Road

Everyone always says Pet Sounds is the greatest Beach Boys album, and far be it from me to argue with the experts. However, my personal favourite is Surf's Up, from their troubled early 70s phase. Here, as on the best Brian Wilson songs, the sunshine is tempered with darker shadows. Surprisingly, though, this was brother Carl's first full composition for the band. You wouldn't know it.

8. Don't Worry, Baby

One of Brian's early heartbreakers.

7. Sloop John B

Not that I'm about to ignore Pet Sounds entirely. Not an original composition, Sloop John B is actually based on an old folk song, The John B. Sails. One of the most covered songs in the Beach Boys canon, the original is also heavily referenced by other artists, most notably Okkervil River's haunting John Allyn Smith Sails.

6. California Girls

I can't help but be upset when I type 'California G...' into youtube and all I get are Katy Perry tracks. I must be getting old.

Let's face it, when the Beatles write a song that's little more than a parody record of one of your songs, you've pretty much got it made.

5. Surfin' USA

The archetypal Beach Boys song, from the early days. That opening riff never fails to make me want to hit the beach. They're often pigeonholed for writing sunshine / good times surfing songs... but not every surfin' song is automatically about sunshine...

4. Surf's Up

Some accuse Van Dyke Parks of writing pretentious, pseudo-poetic lyrics. And if you were merely to read the words to this song, you'd probably agree. Yet, when you hear them sung by Brian Wilson, accompanied by his ethereal, piano-led music... it's hard not to find them magical. A song that reminds me of the dark, spooky atmosphere Ray Bradbury created when writing Something Wicked This Way Comes. Yes, it's that good. 

3. Good Vibrations

A truly revolutionary recording. Pop music would never be the same again.

2. Heroes And Villains

The first Brian Wilson / Van Dyke Parks collaboration, a song that gets inside your head and just won't get out. I've listened to it thousands of times and I still haven't a clue what it's about. Perhaps that's why I love it.

1. God Only Knows

The greatest love song ever written? And it begins with the line "I may not always love you." That is the very definition of genius.




So, it was a damned hard list to compile. Which of your favourites did I miss out? Darlin'? Tears In The Morning? Do It Again? I Can Hear Music? Wouldn't It Be Nice? Lonely Sea? The one with Paul McCartney chewing a carrot? And which would have been your surfin' supremo? Do tell...