Celebrity Jukebox#46: Bela Lugosi

There are certain celebrities who are arguably more famous for the song they appear in than for their own career. I'm not sure Bette Davis is quite there yet, but all it'll take is Rhianna or Adele doing a cover of that Kim Carnes song and it'll be Whatever Happened To Bette D? Bela Lugosi, on the other hand, is surely known by more people now because of the Halloween favourite by Bauhaus than for any of his classic horror film performances.

The internet tells me "Bauhaus bass player David J wrote this song's lyric after bingeing on vampire movies that were showing on TV in England (this was before Netflix)", which is the kind of quote that makes me want to punch all Millennials in the face. Imagine true horror - "a world before Netflix"!

White on white translucent black capes

Back on the rack

Bela Lugosi's dead

The bats have left the bell tower

The victims have been bled

Red velvet lines the black box

Bela Lugosi's dead

Undead undead undead

The virginal brides file past his tomb

Strewn with time's dead flowers

Bereft in deathly bloom

Alone in a darkened room

The Count

Bela Logosi's dead

Undead undead undead

Bela Lugosi's Dead has been covered by a list of obvious suspects, including The Damned and Nine Inch Nails, but by far the best alternative version is this...

Nouvelle Vague - Bela Lugosi's Dead

David J returned to the track himself in 2013 for a completely different take...

David J featuring Jill Tracy - Bela Lugosi's Dead (Undead is Forever)

The song is considered the first Goth rock record (and my amazing powers of precognition tell me it'll be Number One in the No Badger Required "Goth! Show Me Magic" countdown which ends this morning). As such it gets its own references in the following tunes...

Falcon Heavy - Peter Murphy Says

Tried to sing Bela Lugosi's dead

But all the blood was rushing to my head

Powerman 5000 - Black Lipstick

You said life is a lie

As you laid down on the bed

Then you started to cry

And sang Bela Lugosi's dead

That's a song which warns of the dangers of taking a Goth home for a one night stand...

You left black lipstick

Black lipstick on my sheets

Don't say you weren't warned. For an alternative point of view, you might consider this...

Lee Christian - Goth Girls Do It Better

I'm Bela Lugosi baby, 

I'm your Vincent Price

Well, If I bite u once, girl, 

I've got to bite u twice

One more song that references the Bauhaus tune...

Voltaire - The Vampire Club

You'll have to listen to that one yourself if you want the reference because, "This artist does not want the lyrics to this song be posted on the internet."

And while this one doesn't mention Bauhaus directly, I reckon they had it on repeat in the studio...

Lesbian Bed Death - Béla Lugosi's Back

  

Onto more direct Bela Lugosi mentions. Let's start with Ray...

The Kinks - Celluloid Heroes

You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard

Some that you recognize, some that you've hardly even heard of

People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame

Some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain

Rudolph Valentino looks very much alive

And he looks up ladies dresses as they sadly pass him by

Avoid stepping on Bela Lugosi

'Cause he's liable to turn and bite

But stand close by Bette Davis

Because hers was such a lonely life

Bela Lugosi's story is a tragic one, plagued by type casting, dwindling fame, alcoholism and drug addiction. If you've seen the movie Ed Wood, you'll remember Martin Landau's stand out performance as a latter day Lugosi. I can't help but think of that when I listen to the song above. Speaking of Ed Wood, Bela also makes a cameo appearance in this slice of glorious nonsense...

Mummula - Ed Woodn't (Oh No, No, No)

Where to go from there? How about Noddy...?

Slade - My Baby's Got It

Ohhhh I wanna be Bela Lugosi 

And the Marx Brothers rolled into one

Well baby baby baby believe me, 

I'm solid gone

Or you could imagine chatting up a Bela Lugosi lookalike in your local...

Squeeze - F-Hole

We watched each other closely

She looks like Bela Lugosi

She asked me for a ride home

I felt around for my comb

She lived down by the river

A flat the council give her

Wallpaper very scenic

Her outlook very beatnik

Here's Brian Wilson's mate, with some lyrics I can't quite make out (though I disagree with what the interweb thinks they are) although they do namedrop Bela alongside Bing Crosby and Mae West...

Van Dyke Parks - The Four Mills Brothers

While you try and decipher that, here's former High Jump Champion Amber Bollinger and her band... 

Broken Baby - Personality Party

I'm on my back like a beetle

Can't turn me on

It's an erotic kinda seething

This ain't a dance it's a full time Bela Lugosi

And if that wasn't scary enough, try some Curtiss Tigers...

Curtis Stigers - Sleeping With The Lights On

Bela Lugosi

And Boris Karloff too

Make such strange bedfellows

But how to they know you

How about some Spiders Dressed In Red? (If it's good enough for Peter Parker, it's good enough for me.)

Spiders Dressed In Red - Bela Lugosi

Or you might prefer some Drag-ula?

Sharon Needles - Dracula

Meanwhile, in Paisley, our old pal Momus is pondering biting the dust...

Momus - What Will Death Be Like?

Death will be unlike the charge of the Light Brigade 

Alfred Lord Tennyson rhymed

Death will be unlike the thin piece of paper 

That Reagan and Gorbachev sign

Death will be unlike the night thoughts of 'Late Call' 

When ministers stop being cosy

Death will be unlike 'The Pit and the Pendulum' 

Co-starring Bela Lugosi

I'll be honest: there were so many songs that referenced Bela Lugosi, I started to wonder what death would be like when faced with the prospect of listening to them all. So I gave up. But not before I'd discovered this glorious artefact from Malcolm Tucker and the Twelfth Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi, back when he was just a young lad in a post-punk band...

Snapshots #218: A Top Ten Drunk Songs

It seemed an appropriate time to pull out my Oliver Reed opener. Hopefully you didn't have to get tipsy to solve and of these...

10. Joyce's shorts.

James Joyce published a selection of short stories called The Dubliners.

The Dubliners - Seven Drunken Nights

9. I am Dr. Lite.

Anagram!

Del Amitri - Drunk In A Band

8. Boom box with a calculator screen.

LCD Sound System - Drunk Girls

7. They beget a Teddy Boy.

Richard & Linda, parents of Teddy Thompson.

Richard & Linda Thompson - Down Where The Drunkards Roll

6. Consigned to the bench in England V. Scotland games.

UK Subs - Drunken Sailor

5. These guys can be found by Pooh's step.

"By Pooh's step" was an anagram.

Pet Shop Boys - You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

4. First in Jennifer Linda, last like cold dogs.

JenniFER LINda + Huskies.

Ferlin Husky - The Drunken Driver

A cautionary tale that might leave you needing a stiff drink.

3. Used to always be toasters. 

I may have used a variation on that clue before, but it always makes me smile.

The Wedding Present - Don't Take Me Home 'til I'm Drunk

2. A Flemish Monday.

Anagram!

Handsome Family - Drunk By Noon 

1. Assassination victims.

Those assassination victims would be The Dead Kennedys.

If that's too loud for you, try this...

If you've sobered up by next Saturday, there'll be more of this nonsense then...

Guest Post Thursday #7: Top Ten Booze Songs II

Another very special guest joins us today for the latest edition of Guest Post Thursday... it's C from Sun Dried Sparrows. I feel especially privileged to have C here, since she's struggling with the older blogger's blog over at her own place and drafting in a few fine guest posts of her own. (I've promised to return the favour, so who knows, you may see me guesting over there soon.)

And Rigid Digit before her, C is hitting the bottle...

There are three good reasons why I shouldn't be here with my Top Ten Booze songs (a continuation of Rigid Digit's excellent guest post on these esteemed pages):

1) I can't even get it together enough to write on my own blog right now,

2) I'm a total lightweight when it comes to drinking, and

c) I can't do numerical lists....

But if there's one thing we've learned so far in this truly horrible year, it's that life is full of surprises.

With huge thanks to Rol for being our most generous host and to Rigid Digit for getting in the first round, here are ten more songs about drinking, in no particular order, which I really must assemble before that small glass of Prosecco goes straight to my head.

10.  Emiliana Torrini - Unemployed In Summertime

It's not strictly about boozing but, with its opening line of "Let's get drunk on Saturday..." I couldn't resist it.  The lovely Emiliana Torrini takes us back to the tipsy, carefree Summers of our youth in this joyful ode to friendship and, as she puts it so charmingly, "playing silly buggers".  I mean, who hasn't stayed awake 'til the morning with make-up all over their face at one time or another after a few too many ciders?  

9. Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Summer Wine

I love Nancy and Lee; I could get legless on Lee's voice alone.  'Summer Wine' appears to be all about intoxication, seduction and then being royally stitched up by one's so-called lover - after all their amorous shenanigans she only goes and steals his money and his belongings!  Seems some people will do anything for a pair of silver spurs but I hear they're going for stupid amounts on eBay.

8. Saint Etienne - Bar Conscience

I have this track tucked away on the B-side of the single 'Heart Failed In The Back Of A Taxi' and I've no idea if it's actually about drinking or not as it's an instrumental.  But with Sarah's sighs, some weird and wonderful electronic sounds and the way it ebbs and flows, I'm happy to imagine that the bar in the title is in a subterranean club down a seedy city back street, where eccentric creatures of the night gather after hours to drink Absinthe and whisky.  Please don't tell me it's about scrupulous barristers!

7. Genesis - Twilight Alehouse

A bit of a surprise, this one, as my personal pre-punk soundtrack comprised little more than Abba and Donny Osmond, but I have Mr SDS to thank for introducing me to Peter Gabriel era (important to make that distinction) Genesis.  Apparently, Mr Gabriel and his theatrical persona had such an effect on him as a 17-year old that he even wanted to adopt the same hairstyle...

This was the B-side to the 1974 Genesis single 'I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe') but I'm reliably informed that it was originally released on a flexi-disc which came as a freebie when joining the Genesis Unofficial Fan Club, aka 'The Hogweed Youth Movement'.  I would join that club on the strength of the name alone.

6. Sham 69 - Hurry Up Harry

Surely there must be some songs about drinking and pubs from my early punk days, I said to myself the other day while contemplating this Top Ten.  I couldn't come up with any...   And then, I woke up the next morning with a very persistent line going through my head.

  "We're going down the pub..."

Oh, of course, it's only bleedin' Jimmy Pursey, innit!

I remember seeing this performance on Top of The Pops with Jimmy looking very dapper in his bow tie.  Unfortunately I also remember when he surprised us all by expressing himself quite differently through the medium of dance a few years later...

5. The Mofos - Supercharged On Alcohol

Another instrumental but there's no ambiguity in the title of this one.  Surely the aural equivalent of a high speed chase involving leather-clad bikers, gun-toting maverick cops and, of course, vehicles crashing inexplicably into piles of empty cardboard boxes.

4. Eric Burdon & War - Spill The Wine

Hypnotic, funky and pretty intoxicating in its own way, I love this song from 1970.  It's interesting to note that when Eric Burdon first got together with black LA band War in the late '60s and played numerous live gigs around California, it would have been quite a bold political statement as this was right in the middle of the 'Black Panther' era.  'Spill The Wine' featured on their debut album 'Eric Burdon Declares War' and was released as a single in the US and several other countries where it became a hit - but, for some reason, not in the UK.

3. The Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk To Fuck

How could I possibly NOT include this?!  Here's a song which tells it like it is and warns of the obvious perils of drinking sixteen beers.  I imagine fifteen beers would produce the same result to be honest, but I'm not prepared to test out the theory.  This catchy single with its surfy guitar lick (sounding a bit like the B52s on speed) made it to No. 36 in the UK charts in 198, in spite of being banned by BBC Radio 1 and having several stores refuse to stock it.  The Dead Kennedys responded thoughtfully by supplying a sticker for shops to use, which read:

"Caution: You are the victim of yet another stodgy retailer afraid to warp your mind by revealing the title of this record so peel slowly and see..."

2. Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk To Fuck

Apologies for repetition but I couldn't include the Dead Kennedys' original without its perfect counterpart cover version from French outfit Nouvelle Vague.  Their characteristic lounge treatment with its bossa nova rhythm and breathy, flirtatious female vocals from Camille give it a whole new slant.

1. The Newtown Neurotics - Licensing Hours

The Newtown Neurotics have a very special place in my heart.  Once upon a time (the late '70s), in a mysterious land not far from Harlow New Town, we all used to hang out together. We frequented our little local venue, sometimes 2 or 3 nights a week, where almost everyone was in a punk band.  It became my spiritual home in a way, and spawned many a musician and band who went on to do greater things; one of those was the nascent Newtown Neurotics.  I remember well the night that Steve Drewett and the late Colin Dredd spray-painted silver anarchy 'A' signs on the blazers that my schoolfriends and I were wearing, not long after we started going down there.  Steve with his long curly blonde hair, Colin with the biggest, warmest smile. So many memories are wrapped up in that era and hearing the Newtown Neurotics again brings them all back.   Reflecting on it last night I concluded that, in spite of school, it was pretty much the happiest time of my life.  

'Licensing Hours' is classic early Newtown Neurotics and includes an inspired line in response to an over-zealous pub landlord: 

"I realise this ain't a doss-house and I do have a home to go to..."

And on that note, it must be last orders!

Thank you for listening.

C

Thanks again to C for another fine selection of booze songs. Anyone up for a third round? Or anything else you may wish to contribute.

Guest Post Thursday will continue next week... but stay tuned, because we'll also have a very special Guest Post on Monday of next week. Who? Why? All will be revealed...

Saturday Snapshots #75 - The Answers

"It's All Coming Back To Me Now," you'll be able to say to your grandchildren, many years from now... "the day that Saturday Snapshots finally jumped the shark. The day Rol had a picture of Celine Dion at the top of the page..."

Give me a break: you try finding two different pictures of pop stars holding cameras every week. It's not as easy as it looks, you know. (Although I do have a few more in the bag.) Perhaps the day I run out will be the day I finally call it quits. Until then... My Heart Will Go On.

A very closely fought game yesterday, between Lynchie, Chris, Alyson and C in particular. I think Lynchie just got the title. Well done to Charity Chic, Rigid Digit, George and Martin (Come Together... as one... like George Martin) for mopping up the hard ones.


10. Beautiful Persian queen makes Pilgrim's Progress via choo choo.

Vashti was a beautiful Persian queen.

John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim's Progress.

Vashti Bunyan - Train Song

9. Seabirds, get your guns - we must go now!

Guillemots are seabirds.

Annie, Get Your Gun.

Guillemots - Annie, Let's Not Wait

That's a top song, that is.

8. Only knobs allowed in this club... listening to Pleasant Valley Sunday.

Members Only?

The Members - Sound of the Suburbs

"Same old boring Sunday morning"? Oy!

7. Lexicon of French internet + giant killer.

A lexicon is full of words.

French websites end .fr.

David killed a giant.

FR David - Words

(That sounded a lot better in my head than it does in reality. How memory plays tricks on us...)

6. The French New Wave... kind of.

Nouvelle Vague - In A Manner Of Speaking

5. Improv theatre game for jazz geeks... if you've been playing this game a while, you should get this.

An improvised theatre game is known as a Harold.

Jazz is often on the Blue Note label.

"A Melvin" is another name for a geek or nerd.

I put this week's quiz together a few weeks back. It took me ages to work out the clues for this when it came to write out the answers.

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes - If You Don't Know Me By Now

4. Start your new job with a sharp piercing stab.

Yes, that is Mick. With a comedy "Grizzly Adams" beard. A hipster long before there were hipsters.

Jagger - a sharp, piercing stab.

Mick Jagger - Let's Work

Video of the week ahoy! What were they thinking?

3. Players depart.

Cast - Walk Away

The reverse of #7. A lot better than I remember it being.

2. John Wayne's looking for hearts in the dustbin.

John Wayne was in The Searchers.

The Searchers - Don't Throw Your Love Away

1. What the Beach Boys read... with Julie Christie & Alan Bates.

The Beach Boys read Surfing Magazines.

Julie Christie & Alan Bates were in the movie adaptation of LP Hartley's novel The Go Between.

Because You Loved Me... Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.

My Top Ten Horror Actor Songs

It's Halloween - the night we all dread because the scariest creatures on earth roam the streets spreading terror and mayhem. No, not ghosts, vampires and zombies - children! Give me a werewolf any day over a belligerent teenager in joke shop fangs with a table cover of his head and a couple of sachets of ketchup. Like most sane people, we turned off the lights and hid behind the sofa till it was safe to come out.

While there, I realised that every year at this time I usually post a horror-related Top Ten... and I'd completely forgotten to compile on this year. So here - in conjunction with my Songs About Actors series - are ten songs which feature famous scary movie stars in one way or another...


10. Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

You've got to either start or finish with this one, haven't you? I never quite got the appeal, but it's OK once a year. Chvrches do an interesting cover though. As do Nouvelle Vague.

9. Redd Kross - Linda Blair

 A suitably freaky tribute to the girl they couldn't exorcise.

8. Lou Reed & Metallica - Brandenburg Gate

Boris Karloff, Klaus Kinski and Peter Lorre all get a namecheck in this... interesting... collaboration. Not as heavy as you might expect.

7. The Huntingtons - Let's Go To Haddonfield

Stumbled across this song about one of my favourite horror movies - John Carpenter's Halloween - and its star, the original scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis. The Ramones have a lot to answer for.

6. Garland Jeffries - Lon Chaney

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of the saddest films I've ever seen.

Oh Lon Chaney,
What's to hold you back?
The Wolfman's dead
And the old black cat is gone,
Like a memory faded from your past.
You look so sad,
With a face of stone,
Just skin and bone.
You're all alone,
With a hunchback's eye you live.

5. Jack Lukeman - Ode To Ed Wood

Cult genius or worst actor / director ever? I always had a fondness for Ed Wood, largely driven by the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp film which led me to seek out some of his work. Jack Lukeman does an excellent spooky tribute.

4. ZZ Top - Vincent Price Blues

This is both hairy AND scary. Honest: give it a spin... if you dare!

3. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Zombie Zoo

You look like Boris Karloff - and you don't even care!

2. John Grant - Sigourney Weaver

Those scary aliens gave Sigourney no trouble at all.

And I feel just like Sigourney Weaver
When she had to kill those aliens.
And one guy tried to get them back to the Earth.
And she couldn't believe her ears.

And there's a shout out to Winona Ryder in the second verse too: the scariest thing in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula was her English accent...

I feel just like Winona Ryder
In that movie about vampires.
And she couldn't get that accent right;
Neither could that other guy.

1. Warren Zevon - Werewolves Of London

Lon Chaney AND Lon Chaney Jr. - in the same song! And they're both walking with the queen...



Your suggestions always welcome. Just don't knock on my door with them tonight.